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Posted: 10/27/2010 8:34:17 PM EDT









































































HISTORY  LESSON










































For those that don't know about history ... Here is a condensed version:










Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers.
They lived on deerin the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.




The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer
and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1 . Liberals





2. Conservatives.

Once beer
was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.
Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night
while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement...
Other men
who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ'sand doing the sewing,fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.
Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. They became known as girlie-men.
Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.
Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant.
Liberals are symbolized by the jackassfor obvious reasons.
Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine
or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish









but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher
testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywoodand group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitterrule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink domestic beer,
mostly Bud or Miller. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big game hunters, rodeo cowboys,lumberjacks,construction workers,firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively.









Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers





and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a  business of trying to get more for nothing.
Here ends today's lesson in world history:
It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to





angrily respond to the above before forwarding it.
A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute





truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to piss them off.B
And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true self.....I'm





going to have another beer.








=












"The trouble with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money."












 
Link Posted: 10/27/2010 8:35:29 PM EDT
[#1]
your pics are broke

all of them
Link Posted: 10/27/2010 8:37:06 PM EDT
[#2]



Quoted:


your pics are broke



all of them


Wrong thread.



 
Link Posted: 10/27/2010 8:38:55 PM EDT
[#3]
I love it
Link Posted: 10/27/2010 8:40:15 PM EDT
[#4]
Posted a link to this page on my FB
Link Posted: 10/27/2010 8:48:09 PM EDT
[#5]
Link Posted: 10/27/2010 8:52:03 PM EDT
[#6]





Odd...

 



Just a copy & paste. Loud and clear here.
Link Posted: 10/27/2010 9:09:51 PM EDT
[#7]
What's wrong with sushi?
Link Posted: 10/27/2010 9:17:14 PM EDT
[#8]
Quoted:
What's wrong with sushi?


It ain't cooked.
Link Posted: 10/27/2010 9:22:07 PM EDT
[#9]



Quoted:



Quoted:

What's wrong with sushi?




It ain't cooked.


That depends on the type of sushi you order.





 
Link Posted: 10/27/2010 9:28:13 PM EDT
[#10]
Is there some law that says chain emails have to be in non-standard size font?
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