[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Getting stuff back from (Ex) friend (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 8/15/2012 5:35:08 PM EDT
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I let a "buddy" (then, not now obviously) borrow some of my stuff while I was deployed to Afghanistan, namely my PS2 and some games and accessories, total value maybe about $200. Now I'm back and he is avoiding my calls and giving me excuses why he can't meet up to give me back my shit. I think he is doing it on purpose, hoping that I'll give up and forget about it. I have other friends who are willing to testify to the police that this is in fact my stuff, even if the douchebag tries to claim it's his.
So here's my question, if he straight up refuses to give me my stuff back, is it even worth my time to call the cops, in my limited experience they don't seem to care too much about this type of thing and I kind of expect to get the "there's nothing we can do without proof" speech. (Which may be true I suppose) My other idea is to try to get him to admit in text messages that it's mine and take that to the police, would this be more likely to succeed? If no one can offer any advice on that, creative revenge methods are also welcome. 
ETA: Revenge comment was not intended to be taken seriously, seems some people didn't get that. |
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Quoted: Quoted: You gave him possession of the items. It's a civil matter. You will need to take him to small claims court. Go buy yourself a PS3. If you let someone borrow something, then they refuse to return it, that's still theft. It was a theft of your friendship, walk away with honor. |
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Quoted: Quoted: You gave him possession of the items. It's a civil matter. You will need to take him to small claims court. Go buy yourself a PS3. If you let someone borrow something, then they refuse to return it, that's still theft. Maybe technically speaking, but practically speaking it's kindergarten bullshit. |
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Quoted: Quoted: You gave him possession of the items. It's a civil matter. You will need to take him to small claims court. Go buy yourself a PS3. If you let someone borrow something, then they refuse to return it, that's still theft. (I have a PS3) Police won't touch it though. You'll have to speak with a magistrate or equivalent. Laws vary by state of course, so YMMV.
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It would have to be a LOT of ps2 stuff to be worth $200. If you want another ps2 I'll send you one. There are a bunch of guitar hero and rock band "controllers", the kind that are shaped like instruments, that was the only reason I kept the PS2 for this long. |
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If you feel like investing some money and time in this, file a small claims suit. If you have the receipts and any communications that support that this was a loan then at least you will have a piece of paper that will let you take some actual action.
Otherwise your best bet is to catch him at home and firmly but politely demand the return of your shit. I'd really suggest the small claims route if you want him to understand the mistake he's made. You could possibly be able to seize some asset or other that he really cares about and thereby get his attention. (IANAL, btw) State law would most likely come into play here. |
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You gave him possession of the items. It's a civil matter. You will need to take him to small claims court. Go buy yourself a PS3. If you let someone borrow something, then they refuse to return it, that's still theft. Maybe technically speaking, but practically speaking it's kindergarten bullshit. Yeah, it's kindergarten bullshit, I'm sure you'd be the bigger man and walk away from it. Although I'd say that makes one a pussy, different opinions I guess. I don't let people steal from me, as a rule. |
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It would have to be a LOT of ps2 stuff to be worth $200. If you want another ps2 I'll send you one. There are a bunch of guitar hero and rock band "controllers", the kind that are shaped like instruments, that was the only reason I kept the PS2 for this long. Craigslist will be pretty much the only place to get those in my experience. None of that stuff is being sold anymore and it's all worthless. Offer stands on the PS2. |
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For $200, it is a cheap price to pay to get rid of trash like that.
I know it chaps your ass to no end that he took your shit, and you feel like it is a slight. It is................HOWEVER If you go get yourself into trouble, for someone you aren't going to keep in your life anymore anyhow.................it's going to cost you a lot more $, and not get you any farther in the getting your shit back category. Just walk the fuck away. It's not worth the trouble to get all crazy on the dude's ass over $200 worth of anything (besides a irreplaceable family heirloom). |
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If you loaned him the stuff he cannot be charged with pettit larcney or criminal possession of stolen property.
IIRC their is a penal law charge for holding the property of another but I cannot rember what that charge would be. This only apply to NYS, but the law would be similarly applied for the first two charges. The third one unknown. |
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It would have to be a LOT of ps2 stuff to be worth $200. If you want another ps2 I'll send you one. There are a bunch of guitar hero and rock band "controllers", the kind that are shaped like instruments, that was the only reason I kept the PS2 for this long. Craigslist will be pretty much the only place to get those in my experience. None of that stuff is being sold anymore and it's all worthless. Offer stands on the PS2. No thanks, like I said, it's the principle. |
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Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: You gave him possession of the items. It's a civil matter. You will need to take him to small claims court. Go buy yourself a PS3. If you let someone borrow something, then they refuse to return it, that's still theft. Maybe technically speaking, but practically speaking it's kindergarten bullshit. Yeah, it's kindergarten bullshit, I'm sure you'd be the bigger man and walk away from it. No, I'd empty a bottle of Elmer's glue in his recess shoes and not give him a cupcake when I bring treats for my birthday. I wouldn't dial 911. |
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You gave him possession of the items. It's a civil matter. You will need to take him to small claims court. Go buy yourself a PS3. If you let someone borrow something, then they refuse to return it, that's still theft. Maybe technically speaking, but practically speaking it's kindergarten bullshit. Yeah, it's kindergarten bullshit, I'm sure you'd be the bigger man and walk away from it. Although I'd say that makes one a pussy, different opinions I guess. I don't let people steal from me, as a rule. The better part of valor is discretion. Know which battles to fight, and which not to. Going ape shit over this isn't going to do anybody any good. |
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You gave him possession of the items. It's a civil matter. You will need to take him to small claims court... It's easy to file a small claims suit. Just go down to the courthouse, fill out a form (less details than you provided here). If you don't have the cash, they'll let you file for free. You'll get notification of a trial date. It won't take 15 minutes for you to explain it all to a judge. Bring a list of your stuff, and your estimate of what each item is worth. Either spend the time to pursue this in small claims court, or let it go. But do one of those!! |
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You gave him possession of the items. It's a civil matter. You will need to take him to small claims court. Go buy yourself a PS3. If you let someone borrow something, then they refuse to return it, that's still theft. Maybe technically speaking, but practically speaking it's kindergarten bullshit. Yeah, it's kindergarten bullshit, I'm sure you'd be the bigger man and walk away from it. No, I'd empty a bottle of Elmer's glue in his recess shoes and not give him a cupcake when I bring treats for my birthday. I wouldn't dial 911. I know you think you are mocking me, but that you'd be so casual about someone stealing from you really speaks negatively about you as a man. Once again, different opinions. In any case, no one said shit all about 911, I am exploring my legal recourse's to get MY PROPERTY back. The revenge comment was tongue in cheek. So since this is so far beneath your notice, feel free to click the back button and go be useless in someone else's thread. |
| The way to handle it is to send him a letter registered mail with a return delivery receipt. In the letter lay out the facts, such as I was deployed to Astan and I left you my PS2 for safe keeping until I returned, I have made X number of phone calls (list dates and times) for the purpose of recovering my goods and you will not return my calls. I am hereby serving you notice that I demand you return my stuff (be specific listing every thing he is to return). After 10 days file in small claim court if he does not return your goods. If your ex-friend does not respond to the letter, the court will accept the letter as fact that he owes you the goods. My bet is he will not want to go to court and will settle. You will be able to recover court costs and compensation for your losses. The problem will be collecting. |
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Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: You gave him possession of the items. It's a civil matter. You will need to take him to small claims court. Go buy yourself a PS3. If you let someone borrow something, then they refuse to return it, that's still theft. Maybe technically speaking, but practically speaking it's kindergarten bullshit. Yeah, it's kindergarten bullshit, I'm sure you'd be the bigger man and walk away from it. No, I'd empty a bottle of Elmer's glue in his recess shoes and not give him a cupcake when I bring treats for my birthday. I wouldn't dial 911. I know you think you are mocking me, but that you'd be so casual about someone stealing from you really speaks negatively about you as a man. Once again, different opinions. In any case, no one said shit all about 911, I am exploring my legal recourse's to get MY PROPERTY back. The revenge comment was tongue in cheek. So since this is so far beneath your notice, feel free to click the back button and go be useless in someone else's thread. No, I'm not mocking you, I'm speaking metaphorically. I'd be pissed. My productive comment was the small claims court recommendation. You can't just call the cops, but it looks like you have accepted that since your original post. The easier productive thing you could probably do is to keep calling him, and bring it up with anyone who knows him so they're bringing it up to him as well. |
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The way to handle it is to send him a letter registered mail with a return delivery receipt. In the letter lay out the facts, such as I was deployed to Astan and I left you my PS2 for safe keeping until I returned, I have made X number of phone calls (list dates and times) for the purpose of recovering my goods and you will not return my calls. I am hereby serving you notice that I demand you return my stuff (be specific listing every thing he is to return). After 10 days file in small claim court if he does not return your goods. If your ex-friend does not respond to the letter, the court will accept the letter as fact that he owes you the goods. My bet is he will not want to go to court and will settle. You will be able to recover court costs and compensation for your losses. The problem will be collecting. Alright, that's pretty detailed, thanks. |
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You gave him possession of the items. It's a civil matter. You will need to take him to small claims court. Go buy yourself a PS3. If you let someone borrow something, then they refuse to return it, that's still theft. Maybe technically speaking, but practically speaking it's kindergarten bullshit. Yeah, it's kindergarten bullshit, I'm sure you'd be the bigger man and walk away from it. No, I'd empty a bottle of Elmer's glue in his recess shoes and not give him a cupcake when I bring treats for my birthday. I wouldn't dial 911. I know you think you are mocking me, but that you'd be so casual about someone stealing from you really speaks negatively about you as a man. Once again, different opinions. In any case, no one said shit all about 911, I am exploring my legal recourse's to get MY PROPERTY back. The revenge comment was tongue in cheek. So since this is so far beneath your notice, feel free to click the back button and go be useless in someone else's thread. No, I'm not mocking you, I'm speaking metaphorically. I'd be pissed. My productive comment was the small claims court recommendation. The most easier productive thing you could probably do is to keep calling him, and bring it up with anyone who knows him so they're bringing it up to him as well. Then I misunderstood your tone, I apologize. |
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... It's easy to file a small claims suit. Just go down to the courthouse, fill out a form (less details than you provided here). If you don't have the cash, they'll let you file for free. You'll get notification of a trial date. It won't take 15 minutes for you to explain it all to a judge. Bring a list of your stuff, and your estimate of what each item is worth. Either spend the time to pursue this in small claims court, or let it go. But do one of those!! I agree. |
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I know you think you are mocking me, but that you'd be so casual about someone stealing from you really speaks negatively about you as a man. Letting your manhood be tied up in whether or not you get revenge on a former friend for not returning your stuff does not sound healthy to me. In this case, being the bigger man probably involves not sitting around wasting hours of your time trying to figure out how to punish someone for not returning less than $200 worth of toys. |
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You gave him possession of the items. It's a civil matter. You will need to take him to small claims court. Go buy yourself a PS3. If you let someone borrow something, then they refuse to return it, that's still theft. Maybe technically speaking, but practically speaking it's kindergarten bullshit. Yeah, it's kindergarten bullshit, I'm sure you'd be the bigger man and walk away from it. Although I'd say that makes one a pussy, different opinions I guess. I don't let people steal from me, as a rule. Serious question Apex how old are you and this guy? You seem to be missing the big picture. I know "it's the principal" and if one doesn't see it that way they must be some pussy, weak, bitch.  This is nothing. It's a used video game system, there is no principal. Newsflash-YOU GOT OFF LUCKY!!!!!!! You thought enough of this guy to leave some of your property with him. And now you are back from Afghanistan and not only is the guy not looking to welcome you home he is ducking your calls over a stupid video game. He sounds like a POS that you thought was your friend. You found that out for the price of a PS2 and some accessories. You aren't in Jail, Dead, or picked clean. Plenty of people had that happen to them in the process of finding out their friend wasn't really their friend.
Forget this guy and the video game. If he doesn't return it at all let your circle of friends know what a dick he is and don't waste your time with it after that. Take it as the cost of a lesson in learning to pick your friends better. |
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I let a "buddy" (then, not now obviously) borrow some of my stuff while I was deployed to Afghanistan, namely my PS2 and some games and accessories, total value maybe about $200. Now I'm back and he is avoiding my calls and giving me excuses why he can't meet up to give me back my shit. I think he is doing it on purpose, hoping that I'll give up and forget about it. I have other friends who are willing to testify to the police that this is in fact my stuff, even if the douchebag tries to claim it's his. So here's my question, if he straight up refuses to give me my stuff back, is it even worth my time to call the cops, in my limited experience they don't seem to care too much about this type of thing and I kind of expect to get the "there's nothing we can do without proof" speech. (Which may be true I suppose) My other idea is to try to get him to admit in text messages that it's mine and take that to the police, would this be more likely to succeed? If no one can offer any advice on that, creative revenge methods are also welcome.
ETA: Revenge comment was not intended to be taken seriously, seems some people didn't get that. Been there, done that. It's because of "friends" borrowing stuff, that I no longer let "friends" borrow stuff. Dont look at it as missing money/items, look at it as an investment that will keep the douche bag far away from you for as long as he has your stuff. |
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You gave him possession of the items. It's a civil matter. You will need to take him to small claims court. Go buy yourself a PS3. If you let someone borrow something, then they refuse to return it, that's still theft. Maybe technically speaking, but practically speaking it's kindergarten bullshit. Yeah, it's kindergarten bullshit, I'm sure you'd be the bigger man and walk away from it. Although I'd say that makes one a pussy, different opinions I guess. I don't let people steal from me, as a rule. Merca. Fuck Yeah. |
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Better to lose your hearing for life. 
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