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Posted: 12/16/2010 8:28:48 AM EDT
[#1]
Good luck, brah.
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Posted: 12/16/2010 8:29:11 AM EDT
[#2]
Strip club. No phone numbers, no worries!
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Posted: 12/16/2010 8:29:26 AM EDT
[#3]
Best wishes to you.
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Posted: 12/16/2010 8:30:32 AM EDT
[#4]
The Chicken Ranch contains what you desire.
...and In. ETA: In all seriousness, you need to take your time, work things through your head, and decide what you want. If you do not do these things, and settle for someone, history will repeat itself. |
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Posted: 12/16/2010 8:30:57 AM EDT
[#5]
It would be prudent to wait until the dust settles and you are thinking staight.
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Posted: 12/16/2010 8:31:51 AM EDT
[#6]
Even if you don't drink go down to the bar with your ring on, you'll be sure to get some companionship.
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Posted: 12/16/2010 8:32:30 AM EDT
[#7]
Quoted:
I am a bit confused at the moment. My 11 year marriage has very recently fallen apart and I am in the process of filing for divorce but nothing official has been done as of yet but it is over for sure. The worst part of this right now, after getting over the initial shock and realizing the total scope of the mess she made, is the loneliness. I have never really, in my adult life, been alone for any long periods of time. I am feeling the need for female companionship right now but I don't really want to be in a committed relationship right now either though. There are just certain things a guy and a girl could do that two guys really can't and I am not talking sexually here. I would like to go to the zoo and look at the lights, not really something two dudes would be doing ya know? I don't even know where to meet women now. I am not a drinker so bars are not really my thing and I am not really interested in one night stands either. I also don't even know if I should be even thinking about this crap until my divorce is final. I had a female friend tell me to take 6 months minimum before even considering dating again, I don't know if I want to be lonely that long. I would actually like to find someone I could trust and love and have a family with but I don't have a clue where to even start[/quote Al I can say is that from previous threads on this subject, you are in the right place. Try every suggestion at least once, and most of them two or three times. |
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Posted: 12/16/2010 8:32:43 AM EDT
[#8]
Women are nuts. You'll hang out with them. They'll tell you their deepest darkest secrets and then put you in the friend zone and flirt with every swinging dick that walks through the door. They'll say hey lets go to blah blah together, but when you get there they peel off and do their own thing but when they are ready to go, you gotta leave. Fuck bitches. Get money.
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Posted: 12/16/2010 8:33:02 AM EDT
[#9]
Learn how to not need companionship.
It's like withdrawal from any other thing. |
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Posted: 12/16/2010 8:34:15 AM EDT
[#10]
Quoted: It would be prudent to wait until the dust settles and you are thinking staight. This is what I'm thinking. Maybe you can start working more hours or take up woodworking or some shit like that. The last thing you need right now is another woman to come into your life and fuck it up more. |
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Posted: 12/16/2010 8:34:43 AM EDT
[#11]
Quoted:
I am a bit confused at the moment. My 11 year marriage has very recently fallen apart and I am in the process of filing for divorce but nothing official has been done as of yet but it is over for sure. The worst part of this right now, after getting over the initial shock and realizing the total scope of the mess she made, is the loneliness. I have never really, in my adult life, been alone for any long periods of time. That's going to last for a while. Nothing you can really do about it except press through it. I am feeling the need for female companionship right now but I don't really want to be in a committed relationship right now either though. There are just certain things a guy and a girl could do that two guys really can't and I am not talking sexually here. I would like to go to the zoo and look at the lights, not really something two dudes would be doing ya know?
You need to start by doing these things YOURSELF. Take some time to be alone and rebuild yourself from the ground up as an independent man. No woman wants to be around a needy guy... and, right now, you're about as needy as they get. I don't even know where to meet women now. I am not a drinker so bars are not really my thing and I am not really interested in one night stands either.
Again, you are not ready to "meet women" right now. You need to take time for yourself. That's going to be difficult, but it's like ripping a band-aid off. It's going to hurt, but it's going to hurt a lot less if you don't try to pad your fall with the soft bodies of vapid women. I also don't even know if I should be even thinking about this crap until my divorce is final. I had a female friend tell me to take 6 months minimum before even considering dating again, I don't know if I want to be lonely that long.
Your female friend gave you some great advice. I'd say a year minimum. I would actually like to find someone I could trust and love and have a family with but I don't have a clue where to even start
you start where you start all things - with yourself. |
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Posted: 12/16/2010 8:35:16 AM EDT
[#12]
With all the weight loss you have just gone threw, soon teh womenz will come looking for you !
Just hang on tight cause the fun will start soon ! 
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Posted: 12/16/2010 8:35:17 AM EDT
[#13]
Before anyone asks, I am doing better than I have in a long time mentally, spiritually and physically. I am not only going to be fine when this is finished, I am going to be better than ever.
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Posted: 12/16/2010 8:35:31 AM EDT
[#14]
in for zoo pickup lines
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Posted: 12/16/2010 8:36:42 AM EDT
[#15]
I advise waiting until the divorce is final before even thinking about finding another women.
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Posted: 12/16/2010 8:36:53 AM EDT
[#16]
Quoted:
It would be prudent to wait until the dust settles and you are thinking staight. +1 and don't rebound back into a quick relationship just for the sake of companionship. Have had a few friends make the mistake of quickly jumping back into a serious relationship only to find it fail due to the same problems that caused the first marriage to fail. Of course this isn't always the case, you're ex-wife could have been sleeping around or something |
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Posted: 12/16/2010 8:36:55 AM EDT
[#17]
Matt forgot the pic.
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Posted: 12/16/2010 8:37:39 AM EDT
[#18]
Quoted:
I am a bit confused at the moment. My 11 year marriage has very recently fallen apart and I am in the process of filing for divorce but nothing official has been done as of yet but it is over for sure. The worst part of this right now, after getting over the initial shock and realizing the total scope of the mess she made, is the loneliness. I have never really, in my adult life, been alone for any long periods of time. I am feeling the need for female companionship right now but I don't really want to be in a committed relationship right now either though. There are just certain things a guy and a girl could do that two guys really can't and I am not talking sexually here. I would like to go to the zoo and look at the lights, not really something two dudes would be doing ya know? I don't even know where to meet women now. I am not a drinker so bars are not really my thing and I am not really interested in one night stands either. I also don't even know if I should be even thinking about this crap until my divorce is final. I had a female friend tell me to take 6 months minimum before even considering dating again, I don't know if I want to be lonely that long. I would actually like to find someone I could trust and love and have a family with but I don't have a clue where to even start If you tell single chicks this, you will rake in the pussy. It will be like a buffet. |
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Posted: 12/16/2010 8:38:12 AM EDT
[#19]
Quoted:
Learn how to not need companionship. It's like withdrawal from any other thing. Now that is an interesting concept. I guess one would not be very attractive when they seem desperate. I am going to have to reflect on this. Thank you. |
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Posted: 12/16/2010 8:44:15 AM EDT
[#20]
Quoted: Before anyone asks, I am doing better than I have in a long time mentally, spiritually and physically. I am not only going to be fine when this is finished, I am going to be better than ever. +1 There are days that suck, but you start to look at things as "This is the best point of my life and I have just been given a chance to press the reset button and play this game with the experience I have better than ever". I never really got to be a bachelor, so i've been enjoying doing guy things with my guy friends. Going to Vegas, camping, bars, getting a pizza and lounging in front of the TV watching guy movies or sports, etc. I'm not accountable to anybody for my time, my money, my actions and that freedom feels wonderful. Keep going to the gym, get in the best shape of your life, and take all life has to offer. (I'm also buying all the guns and toys that I couldn't before and taking training classes I couldn't before when our money was shared )I think once the dust settles, I may even buy a Ferrari (used, but still, fuck you, its a ferrari) just cause I can.
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Posted: 12/16/2010 8:45:26 AM EDT
[#21]
Quoted:
It would be prudent to wait until the dust settles and you are thinking staight. Here is wisdom. |
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Posted: 12/16/2010 8:45:43 AM EDT
[#22]
Quoted:
With all the weight loss you have just gone threw, soon teh womenz will come looking for you ! Just hang on tight cause the fun will start soon ! I may have lost a lot of weight but I am still not easy on the eyes.
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Posted: 12/16/2010 8:47:18 AM EDT
[#23]
You'll NEVER do well with women when you are NEEDY.
The dynamic when you're NEEDY is just fucked and never works well. 1. To the good women you want, being NEEDY, gets you friend-zoned. The kind of man they want is a confident alpha-male who is not NEEDY, or at a minimum won't ever show it till he dies. 2. To the not-so-good women who themselves are NEEDY, you are an easy target, due to their own low self-esteem and neuroses. They'll either just make a miserable/messy pairing with you, or when they feel better about themselves after being in the relationship with you, your ass is dumped. 3. Even worse, to the utterly evil woman, being NEEDY makes you a target for being controlled and used. And the worst part of the dynamic with woman/relationship types 2 and 3 is that all women on some level, even if they're too screwed up to actually go for it want/need a dominant/confident alpha-male as their partner. And they can't/won't respect you when they don't have it. This is why feminist and overly-"liberated" woman will NEVER be happy, because the milquetoast beta-male who "respects" them and treats them 100% "equal" in all things that they're SUPPOSED to want, leaves them utterly flat. It's also why the sweet beautiful woman inevitably seems to be with some thug/asshole/loser, because even if he sucks at life, he's giving that alpha-vibe she craves. Be strong, take time to finalize your divorce, and figure out who the hell you are on your own. Do the things you could never do when married. Travel, or engage in a hobby you'd never have had the time for before. Enjoy your freedom. Then, when it's time, approach the issue of women, dating, relationships as someone who is happy and confident like YOU DON'T CARE ONE BIT IF YOU HAVE A WOMAN OR NOT. And that's the sure fire way to actually get the type of woman you want. |
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Posted: 12/16/2010 8:48:43 AM EDT
[#24]
Quoted:
Quoted:
With all the weight loss you have just gone threw, soon teh womenz will come looking for you ! Just hang on tight cause the fun will start soon ! I may have lost a lot of weight but I am still not easy on the eyes. If you can't dazzle them with diamonds , baffel em with bullshit.........and if that don't work.........get a puppy ! |
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Posted: 12/16/2010 8:48:53 AM EDT
[#25]
Quoted:
Before anyone asks, I am doing better than I have in a long time mentally, spiritually and physically. I am not only going to be fine when this is finished, I am going to be better than ever. Yes you will, if you stay clear of women for a while. DO NOT get involved with another female until you can honestly say that you don't want one, then and only then will you be open to the type of relationship you desire. |
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Posted: 12/16/2010 8:55:36 AM EDT
[#26]
Your desires sound totally normal to me. We just want female companionship and a partner we can trust and be intimate with. Totally normal desire.
Sad part is, it's a hoax. A fairy tale in our heads and it's what completely fucks up our lives and makes our world a living hell. Blow the load, go down the road. |
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Posted: 12/16/2010 9:04:19 AM EDT
[#27]
Quoted:
It would be prudent to wait until the dust settles and you are thinking staight. +1 Take a year off from dating and "detox". I took over a year after my divorce and it helped me clear my mind.... |
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Posted: 12/16/2010 9:04:52 AM EDT
[#28]
Why would you be lonely just because you're by yourself? Develop interests, hobbies, etc. Reading is also good.
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Posted: 12/16/2010 9:05:09 AM EDT
[#29]
Let me get this straight.
You were married for 11 years, and want to do it again? It confounds me. |
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Posted: 12/16/2010 9:07:25 AM EDT
[#30]
I'm just putting a place holder here for when I'm on a PC
 Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
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Posted: 12/16/2010 9:07:44 AM EDT
[#31]
Quoted: Quoted: I am a bit confused at the moment. My 11 year marriage has very recently fallen apart and I am in the process of filing for divorce but nothing official has been done as of yet but it is over for sure. The worst part of this right now, after getting over the initial shock and realizing the total scope of the mess she made, is the loneliness. I have never really, in my adult life, been alone for any long periods of time. That's going to last for a while. Nothing you can really do about it except press through it. I am feeling the need for female companionship right now but I don't really want to be in a committed relationship right now either though. There are just certain things a guy and a girl could do that two guys really can't and I am not talking sexually here. I would like to go to the zoo and look at the lights, not really something two dudes would be doing ya know? You need to start by doing these things YOURSELF. Take some time to be alone and rebuild yourself from the ground up as an independent man. No woman wants to be around a needy guy... and, right now, you're about as needy as they get. I don't even know where to meet women now. I am not a drinker so bars are not really my thing and I am not really interested in one night stands either. Again, you are not ready to "meet women" right now. You need to take time for yourself. That's going to be difficult, but it's like ripping a band-aid off. It's going to hurt, but it's going to hurt a lot less if you don't try to pad your fall with the soft bodies of vapid women. I also don't even know if I should be even thinking about this crap until my divorce is final. I had a female friend tell me to take 6 months minimum before even considering dating again, I don't know if I want to be lonely that long. Your female friend gave you some great advice. I'd say a year minimum. I would actually like to find someone I could trust and love and have a family with but I don't have a clue where to even start you start where you start all things - with yourself. All of this. Very good advice. Get a kitten or a puppy. Cats are easier to take care of... |
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Posted: 12/16/2010 9:08:36 AM EDT
[#32]
Take some time to be alone or at least comfortable with who you are! Don't go out looking for a replacement wife right off the bat or your loneliness will cloud your thinking and likely mean you'll end up with someone you'd otherwise not choose. It's far,far too common of a trap.
Get out,socialize.You don't have to get hammered if you go to a bar and chances are there are plenty of ladies in similar shoes at the same places...just try to avoid the "whose relationship was worse" contest.Or you could try your luck with online matches.Don't worry man,it'll get better for you. Even though it sucks to go through the heartache and loneliness,you know that you're moving towards being in a healthier and happier position. |
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Posted: 12/16/2010 9:09:54 AM EDT
[#33]
Quoted:
Quoted:
With all the weight loss you have just gone threw, soon teh womenz will come looking for you ! Just hang on tight cause the fun will start soon ! I may have lost a lot of weight but I am still not easy on the eyes. Based on this statement we definitely need pics to see what we're working with.
Also, pics of soon to be ex-wife are required. 
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Posted: 12/16/2010 9:11:46 AM EDT
[#34]
Quoted: Women are nuts. You'll hang out with them. They'll tell you their deepest darkest secrets and then put you in the friend zone and flirt with every swinging dick that walks through the door. They'll say hey lets go to blah blah together, but when you get there they peel off and do their own thing but when they are ready to go, you gotta leave. Fuck bitches. Get money. This is your problem: when you fuck bitches, you don't get money. THEY do. Some people's kids....... OP? Take your time. Do NOT rush in...fools do that and all that jazz.... |
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Posted: 12/16/2010 9:12:28 AM EDT
[#35]
This time of year just magnifies all the emotions. That, I'm sure, you understand. Whether it helps is another story.
Find a social activity where there are women. Hiking club, volunteers, whatever. |
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Posted: 12/16/2010 9:14:26 AM EDT
[#36]
Quoted:
Let me get this straight. You were married for 11 years, and want to do it again? It confounds me. What could possibly go wrong?
Seriously, I enjoyed being married most of the time. My mistake was ignoring some warning signs prior to marriage that would have saved me a lot of future head aches. It was not till a few years into the marriage that I realized she would never accept responsibility for anything and everything she did was because someone caused it. This apparently made it pretty easy for her to be a cheater. I won't ignore ANY warning signs ever again in a relationship. |
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Posted: 12/16/2010 9:16:01 AM EDT
[#37]
i'm going through something similar. 5 year relationship that was leading to marriage imploded in the space of 2 months. she had another guy waiting on the side and moved to new orleans to be with him a month after we split. the loneliness is what hurts the most, along with the feelings of betrayal and abandonment. along with being fucked over emotionally, i get fucked financially by having to pay double the rent and utilities while she gets a free ride (yeah i'm sure that kind too) from the new guy...
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Posted: 12/16/2010 9:16:04 AM EDT
[#38]
Quoted: Lol. I see your point but its a rap lyric by Biggie Smalls. Basically ignore women, make cash. Quoted: Women are nuts. You'll hang out with them. They'll tell you their deepest darkest secrets and then put you in the friend zone and flirt with every swinging dick that walks through the door. They'll say hey lets go to blah blah together, but when you get there they peel off and do their own thing but when they are ready to go, you gotta leave. Fuck bitches. Get money. This is your problem: when you fuck bitches, you don't get money. THEY do. Some people's kids....... OP? Take your time. Do NOT rush in...fools do that and all that jazz.... |
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Posted: 12/16/2010 9:17:48 AM EDT
[#39]
Quoted: It would be prudent to wait until the dust settles and you are thinking straight. I did a lot of hiking, shooting, and anything that diverted my attention. I spent a lot of time walking all over the desert in Central Oregon. Very good for the head. Waiting for awhile to date is a pretty good idea. Eventually you'll know when to get back into the meat market. If you rush things, you'll make bad decisions and pick the wrong person. And for gawds sake, don't stick Mr Winky in the crazy I think we've all been there. Time heals all wounds. Time will heal you too. |
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Posted: 12/16/2010 9:18:29 AM EDT
[#40]
Date strippers, grudge fuck a few, spend some time with them.
You will soon enjoy the lonelyness. |
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Posted: 12/16/2010 9:19:08 AM EDT
[#41]
Quoted: I wouldn't take proper shooting stance advice from rappers...let alone relationship advice...but that's just me Quoted: Lol. I see your point but its a rap lyric by Biggie Smalls. Basically ignore women, make cash. Quoted: Women are nuts. You'll hang out with them. They'll tell you their deepest darkest secrets and then put you in the friend zone and flirt with every swinging dick that walks through the door. They'll say hey lets go to blah blah together, but when you get there they peel off and do their own thing but when they are ready to go, you gotta leave. Fuck bitches. Get money. This is your problem: when you fuck bitches, you don't get money. THEY do. Some people's kids....... OP? Take your time. Do NOT rush in...fools do that and all that jazz.... |
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Posted: 12/16/2010 9:20:36 AM EDT
[#42]
Be a third wheel or find groups.
When my girl of 5 years and I split I went through a similar thing. I wanted to go see a show, or do something that normally would be done as a couple. Not a guy/guy thing. I'm not going to go look at Christmas lights with a dude. Or see a choir perform or something like that. But I wanted too. If you search, you frequently can find groups that are going to such events. Usually they are groups of singles who are going through the same thing, and so many people want to hookup. But you would be surprised how many singles groups have people in them that never date. They just want to hang out with other singles. I also had a lot of couple friends who would invite me as a third wheel. But do their best to not make me feel like a third wheel. I got through it for a year, and then finally was good to go. Realized my time was mine and had fun for 6 months. Lost a bunch of weight. Worked on my house. Had a lot of fun with friends, did nothing "relationship" for a while. Now I am on month 3 with the most awesome woman I have ever met. |
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Posted: 12/16/2010 9:21:07 AM EDT
[#43]
Quoted: Quoted: Women are nuts. You'll hang out with them. They'll tell you their deepest darkest secrets and then put you in the friend zone and flirt with every swinging dick that walks through the door. They'll say hey lets go to blah blah together, but when you get there they peel off and do their own thing but when they are ready to go, you gotta leave. Fuck bitches. Get money. This is your problem: when you fuck bitches, you don't get money. THEY do. Some people's kids....... OP? Take your time. Do NOT rush in...fools do that and all that jazz.... fuck bitches /= have sex with them, fuck bitches = forget about them That's what that stupid "disregard females, acquire currency" meme is referencing. It's just more retarded crap from the he-man women haters club.  |
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Posted: 12/16/2010 9:22:40 AM EDT
[#44]
If you can avoid bankruptcy from the swindlers addressed as "Judge"... you will be most fortunate... all too easy to give away anothers money, most likely to fill the pocket of an attorney pal... Anyhow, if you are bored vist : www.eros.com and then ECCIE for some suggestions, not drama... priced usually upfront... not known to all presented to be toxic...Good Luck !
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Posted: 12/16/2010 9:22:54 AM EDT
[#45]
Go to the grocery store. Lots of chickie snacks there.
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Posted: 12/16/2010 9:24:57 AM EDT
[#46]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Learn how to not need companionship. It's like withdrawal from any other thing. Now that is an interesting concept. I guess one would not be very attractive when they seem desperate. I am going to have to reflect on this. Thank you. No problem. And it's not just about whether you seem attractive (but you're right). It's just a state of mind. Someone who is used to being in a relationship and constantly being around somebody has forgotten how to feel fulfilled without that, and is used to having that comfort around, but you certainly can. And there's certainly nothing wrong with being in a relationship, and a woman's company can certainly be enjoyable, but there's a life outside of it! Find hobbies you enjoy, things you've always wanted to try but haven't, etc... Pretty soon you'll find yourself thinking from the standpoint of "Man, I need to at some point try and fit in the time to date someone", which is a pretty advantageous situation to be in. |
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Posted: 12/16/2010 9:25:35 AM EDT
[#47]
Quoted:
I am a bit confused at the moment. My 11 year marriage has very recently fallen apart and I am in the process of filing for divorce but nothing official has been done as of yet but it is over for sure. The worst part of this right now, after getting over the initial shock and realizing the total scope of the mess she made, is the loneliness. I have never really, in my adult life, been alone for any long periods of time. I am feeling the need for female companionship right now but I don't really want to be in a committed relationship right now either though. There are just certain things a guy and a girl could do that two guys really can't and I am not talking sexually here. I would like to go to the zoo and look at the lights, not really something two dudes would be doing ya know? I don't even know where to meet women now. I am not a drinker so bars are not really my thing and I am not really interested in one night stands either. I also don't even know if I should be even thinking about this crap until my divorce is final. I had a female friend tell me to take 6 months minimum before even considering dating again, I don't know if I want to be lonely that long. I would actually like to find someone I could trust and love and have a family with but I don't have a clue where to even start I understand what your looking for it's what I'd like to find, a companion. You don't want to date and put yourself out there to be hurt again or put up with all the hassles that go along with women but you want to be able to do all the fun things couples do that you can't do alone without being the creepy "that guy". |
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Posted: 12/16/2010 9:26:05 AM EDT
[#48]
Lonely?
Get a dog. Spaniel would be a good choice. 
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Posted: 12/16/2010 9:28:34 AM EDT
[#49]
Quoted:
Before anyone asks, I am doing better than I have in a long time mentally, spiritually and physically. I am not only going to be fine when this is finished, I am going to be better than ever. JOIN A GYM! When you start feeling lonely and sorry for yourself, go to the gym and bust your ass getting in the best shape of your life. This will do several things... 1) You can work some frustrations/anxiety out physically in a constructive manner 2) Get yourself in good/great shape for when you start dating again.. 3) Be in a place that has hot chicks all around, so when you are ready, you can talk to some of them... 4) Have a new "hobby" so you don't have as much free time. If you already belong to a gym, start setting some goals for yourself (speed/times/weight etc) and bust your ass to reach these new goals. See if the gym sponsors out of the gym activities like hiking, biking, running, white water rafting, canoeing.... etc. Get involved... you'll start meeting women automatically without having to "work" at it. -ZA |
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Posted: 12/16/2010 9:30:16 AM EDT
[#50]
Maybe you can't ask guy friends to the zoo, but you can go do more stuff with them and take platonic female friends to the zoo. Go socialize without dating, go camping with your guy friends. Cook for a mixed crowd. Know anyone with kids? Go fly kites. Stay busy and make friends.
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