Posted: 4/25/2008 6:06:42 PM EDT
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I'm going to a friend of the families funeral tomorrow, she was 93. My question isn't about this funeral, but something I won't do at funerals, view the body. It's not about being creeped out or anything, just something that my Dad instilled into me. The first funeral I ever went to was my Mom's oldest sister, I was 5, my Dad suggested I not view the body, but I did, he said I'd probably never remember her alive very well if I did. I don't, the only thing I remember about her was she was a good cook and was great with us kids. But I remember her in the hospital battling the cancer and in the casket. A couple months later a older cousin of Dad's passed, that time I didn't see the body and Dad seemed to be right I remember her better and we visited her less. So I have never viewed another body at a funeral, their memory stays with you better if you don't view the body, it's more like they moved far away instead of dying, it's less final. Went Dad passed we were hard pressed to decide if it would be an open or closed casket, we finally went with an open casket do to the large number of attendees. We later found out Dad had told his friends he didn't want them to view the body, they all honored his wishes. So my question to ARFCOM View the body or not. - ETA I'm not asking what I should do,but what YOU do at funerals. |
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Attending a funeral is not for the dead, but for the living. Viewing the body in the casket, seeing the casket placed in the ground, is a clear message to the psyche that a loved one is gone and never to be seen again. Grieving is a process we all go through. If you don't want to view the body, that is your privilege. If it will hurt you more than help you, don't do it. |
| It's your choice. I always view if I have the chance. For some reason, I "remember" that they are deceased better if I view them. The times I have not gone to viewings, or with closed caskets, I tend to expect to see them where I am accustomed to seeing them. For example, There is one older man who was a very good friend to me as a young man. I was not able to attend his viewing or funeral. When I shop at the store where he worked the counter, I still expect to see him there. He hasn't worked there for 15 years, and died about 10 years ago. |
First Shane your posts always kick ass. Loved the stories you posted. I have missed alot of funerals I should have went to. The 4 I've been to no viewing for me. I don't do good at funerals. |
| I went to a funeral for the first time in thirty years right before Christmas. I don't do well at funerals when the person is dear to me. It was my favorite Aunt. I viewed the body, I cried. I don't do well when loved ones die. It breaks my heart. It's too personal for me to share with anyone......... |
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Viewing the body? Sometimes yes and sometimes no. I busted my ass to travel from Okinawa to NY to carry my mother to her grave...by damn, it's a son's responsibility. Open casket at her request. Accompanied a fallen serviceman home...closed casket (by the time we got him home he wasn't fit for viewing)...family agreed. I guess it all falls down to personal preference, last wishes, family tradition. I funeral is more for the living than the dead anyway. |
+1, done the same thing several times myself, and helped to dig the graves/bury many more. the wakes/funerals I've attended and haven't assisted in prepping/dressing of the body I skip viewing the body as that is how I remember the person looking instead of how they looked when alive. |