Posted: 6/21/2013 2:17:07 AM EDT
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A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text: “If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you!”
The husband, typically non-romantic, replied, “I am on the commode. Please advise." |
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Quoted:
A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text: “If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you!” The husband, typically non-romantic, replied, “I am on the commode. Please advise." 
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Woman at the edge of a cliff ready to jump. Homeless guy happens by and asks her " hey, since you're going to suicide, would you have sex with me before you jump?" Disgusted by his slovenly appearance she says "hell, no, you're nasty." "Aw, shit. I'll just wait at the bottom then."
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ok that was kinda funny.