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Posted: 1/6/2012 1:27:50 PM EDT
For the love of God and all that is Holy.
Do not: Throw every ever loving fucking tool in a fucking god damn fucking pile.
Put your fucking daughter down for knowing how to fix your god damned ever loving red necked bullshit.
Ask said daughter for a god damned cigarette, after having a god damn stroke and making said daughter pull up your fucking pants because you cant. I swear to fucking God, there was a milkman or mailman involved. My fucking pinky finger is bigger than that. Daughters aren't supposed to see that shit. No wonder my mother laughs her ass off when you get the freak on

You saved every god damned screw you ever came across, you think maybe I could find one god damned fucking wood screw in that pile you call a work bench? In your fucking god damn tool bag, that's supposed to be in the ever loving car, A fucking Mazda of all things Holy....You have every goddamned fucking standard socket known to man.... Where in the deepest circle of Hell do you keep the fucking metric sockets? When your left arm hurts and goes numb for months, take your sorry fucking ass to the fucking doctor.
It took me god damn two mother fucking hours to find the fucking phillips attachment for the fucking drill that wasn't fucking charged, had to find the fucking battery and ever loving charger to charge fucking battery. All so I could screw some god damned reflectors on a fucking telephone pole because my mother can't use the fucking mirrors on the god damned car.

Leave your shit a complete horrible mess, that fucking Einstein couldn't figure out.
Ignore the fucking fact that "Wow, my left arm really hurts, numb, ect......."
Put your daughter down for knowing how to do shit, you sorry fucking sack of worthless piece of fucking shit. Because now you're counting on me to fix all the fucking shit you were too drunk and lazy to do.
Put down the dudes I date, because well, daughters look up to their dad's and you set a horrible example.
Lock me out of the fucking gun cabinet. My dad was supposed to teach me about guns. Just because I'm a girl doesn't make me worthless. When the owls or coyotes come for your stupid ass never shutting the fuck up dog, I'll just yell at them. And i'll be happy because that damn piece of shit won't shut the fuck up.
Do not under any circumstances, put your daughter down for having the balls to learn. One day she may be pulling up your pants.

Fuck!
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:29:41 PM EDT
I'm way too old and grumpy to read that wall of text.
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:31:27 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/6/2012 1:32:44 PM EDT by Sparky]
Wow. Talk about daddy issues.
You forgot the part where he didn't hug you enough.
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:32:34 PM EDT
Not bad, could use a little more variety in the vulgarity, but overall, not bad at all. I'll give it a 9/10.
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:34:11 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/6/2012 1:34:27 PM EDT by Bobby_the_Hun]
Originally Posted By txwxgirl:
For the love of God and all that is Holy.
Do not: Throw every ever loving fucking tool in a fucking god damn fucking pile.
Put your fucking daughter down for knowing how to fix your god damned ever loving red necked bullshit.
Ask said daughter for a god damned cigarette, after having a god damn stroke and making said daughter pull up your fucking pants because you cant. I swear to fucking God, there was a milkman or mailman involved. My fucking pinky finger is bigger than that. Daughters aren't supposed to see that shit. No wonder my mother laughs her ass off when you get the freak on

You saved every god damned screw you ever came across, you think maybe I could find one god damned fucking wood screw in that pile you call a work bench? In your fucking god damn tool bag, that's supposed to be in the ever loving car, A fucking Mazda of all things Holy....You have every goddamned fucking standard socket known to man.... Where in the deepest circle of Hell do you keep the fucking metric sockets? When your left arm hurts and goes numb for months, take your sorry fucking ass to the fucking doctor.
It took me god damn two mother fucking hours to find the fucking phillips attachment for the fucking drill that wasn't fucking charged, had to find the fucking battery and ever loving charger to charge fucking battery. All so I could screw some god damned reflectors on a fucking telephone pole because my mother can't use the fucking mirrors on the god damned car.

Leave your shit a complete horrible mess, that fucking Einstein couldn't figure out.
Ignore the fucking fact that "Wow, my left arm really hurts, numb, ect......."
Put your daughter down for knowing how to do shit, you sorry fucking sack of worthless piece of fucking shit. Because now you're counting on me to fix all the fucking shit you were too drunk and lazy to do.
Put down the dudes I date, because well, daughters look up to their dad's and you set a horrible example.
Lock me out of the fucking gun cabinet. My dad was supposed to teach me about guns. Just because I'm a girl doesn't make me worthless. When the owls or coyotes come for your stupid ass never shutting the fuck up dog, I'll just yell at them. And i'll be happy because that damn piece of shit won't shut the fuck up.
Do not under any circumstances, put your daughter down for having the balls to learn. One day she may be pulling up your pants.

Fuck!



I'm 52 and I love you.


Just kidding, I don't care what your "Fucking" issue is.

Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:34:37 PM EDT
It's shrinkage.
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:35:23 PM EDT
Not bad.
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:35:34 PM EDT
well, at least i throw away all the extra screws at my house. :D
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:35:57 PM EDT
Honey I think you need to PM PlaneJane and work up a strategy before going deeper with this thread.
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:36:23 PM EDT
Ouch. Sorry your dad sucks.
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:36:46 PM EDT
Yep. Not sure about the rest but my dad puts all of my tools in a pile as well. I hate that shit dammit!
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:36:59 PM EDT
Did you get spanked a little hard as a kid?
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:38:21 PM EDT
I see no courtroom doll reference in this thread yet



Speed
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:39:15 PM EDT
M'kay
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:39:20 PM EDT
I'd slap a bar of soap in your mouth little girl.
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:40:13 PM EDT
Tell us how you REALLY feel.
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:40:27 PM EDT
So do you have a bunch of tattoo's?
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:41:15 PM EDT
Want a candy bar? it's right here in my pocket
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:41:27 PM EDT
Originally Posted By aerod1:
Did you get spanked a little hard as a kid?


....and not enough as an adult.
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:41:59 PM EDT
OP is clearly not a member of The Greatest Generation.
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:45:00 PM EDT
Pics?
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:45:11 PM EDT
What round to put dad down?
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:45:31 PM EDT
Life sucks. Get used to it. Meanwhile, come here and give Daddy a kiss.
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:46:27 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/6/2012 1:46:46 PM EDT by Delta]
Clearly 8/10

Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:46:31 PM EDT

Originally Posted By hourglassing:
Honey I think you need to PM PlaneJane and work up a strategy before going deeper with this thread.


Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:47:14 PM EDT
are you a stripper?
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:47:56 PM EDT

Originally Posted By txwxgirl:

I swear to fucking God, there was a milkman or mailman involved. My fucking pinky finger is bigger than that.

One in 1000 men have a micropenis. Just so you know that it isn't that uncommon.
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:48:05 PM EDT
Originally Posted By txwxgirl:
For the love of God and all that is Holy.
Do not: Throw every ever loving fucking tool in a fucking god damn fucking pile.
Put your fucking daughter down for knowing how to fix your god damned ever loving red necked bullshit.
Ask said daughter for a god damned cigarette, after having a god damn stroke and making said daughter pull up your fucking pants because you cant. I swear to fucking God, there was a milkman or mailman involved. My fucking pinky finger is bigger than that. Daughters aren't supposed to see that shit. No wonder my mother laughs her ass off when you get the freak on

You saved every god damned screw you ever came across, you think maybe I could find one god damned fucking wood screw in that pile you call a work bench? In your fucking god damn tool bag, that's supposed to be in the ever loving car, A fucking Mazda of all things Holy....You have every goddamned fucking standard socket known to man.... Where in the deepest circle of Hell do you keep the fucking metric sockets? When your left arm hurts and goes numb for months, take your sorry fucking ass to the fucking doctor.
It took me god damn two mother fucking hours to find the fucking phillips attachment for the fucking drill that wasn't fucking charged, had to find the fucking battery and ever loving charger to charge fucking battery. All so I could screw some god damned reflectors on a fucking telephone pole because my mother can't use the fucking mirrors on the god damned car.

Leave your shit a complete horrible mess, that fucking Einstein couldn't figure out.
Ignore the fucking fact that "Wow, my left arm really hurts, numb, ect......."
Put your daughter down for knowing how to do shit, you sorry fucking sack of worthless piece of fucking shit. Because now you're counting on me to fix all the fucking shit you were too drunk and lazy to do.
Put down the dudes I date, because well, daughters look up to their dad's and you set a horrible example.
Lock me out of the fucking gun cabinet. My dad was supposed to teach me about guns. Just because I'm a girl doesn't make me worthless. When the owls or coyotes come for your stupid ass never shutting the fuck up dog, I'll just yell at them. And i'll be happy because that damn piece of shit won't shut the fuck up.
Do not under any circumstances, put your daughter down for having the balls to learn. One day she may be pulling up your pants.

Fuck!


If you want, I will be happy to give you a virtual internet adoption.

Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:49:02 PM EDT
Don't try so hard.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:49:27 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/6/2012 1:50:16 PM EDT by Capt-Planet]
Someone has to say it:

Pics?


-e- Foiled again!

Originally Posted By Silver_Surfer:
Pics?


Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:49:34 PM EDT
I couldn't stand to have my tools all over the place

I'm wearing old spice after shave.......................just saying
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:50:05 PM EDT
So, I gotta know.......Which one is Daddy?

Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:51:00 PM EDT
to much punk ass whining to read all that shit
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:51:33 PM EDT
My screwdriver is charged.



9/10 rant
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:52:40 PM EDT
only 29 uses of the work fuck

And here I thought Texas girls did everything bigger
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:52:58 PM EDT
Well shit, I went back and read it. Waiting patiently for pics
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:54:31 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/6/2012 1:55:25 PM EDT by VA-gunnut]
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:54:59 PM EDT
Such a use of so many foul words is totally uneeded. Use your 3 or 4 brains cells and use other words.
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:57:01 PM EDT
Not a half bad god damned fucking rant. I'll give it a god damned fucking 8/10.













-2 for god damned fucking repetitive god damned fucking expletives.
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:57:26 PM EDT
I only do what I have to do around the house for my mom.
But dammit! Did he have to be such an ass? Really, how hard is it to flipping put a fucking screw driver back where it goes?
Do you really need those fifty million nails from great grandpa?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, get me started on the flipping greenhouse full of dead orchids and Bonsai. That the fucking loser expects me to revive for him.
Which reminds me, I have to track down a water leak in the greenhouse.......Fuck!!!! It'll take the rest of the day just to find the tools for that.
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:57:45 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/6/2012 2:05:21 PM EDT by bluetick357]
Originally Posted By txwxgirl:
For the love of God and all that is Holy.
Do not: Throw every ever loving fucking tool in a fucking god damn fucking pile.
Put your fucking daughter down for knowing how to fix your god damned ever loving red necked bullshit.
Ask said daughter for a god damned cigarette, after having a god damn stroke and making said daughter pull up your fucking pants because you cant. I swear to fucking God, there was a milkman or mailman involved. My fucking pinky finger is bigger than that. Daughters aren't supposed to see that shit. No wonder my mother laughs her ass off when you get the freak on

You saved every god damned screw you ever came across, you think maybe I could find one god damned fucking wood screw in that pile you call a work bench? In your fucking god damn tool bag, that's supposed to be in the ever loving car, A fucking Mazda of all things Holy....You have every goddamned fucking standard socket known to man.... Where in the deepest circle of Hell do you keep the fucking metric sockets? When your left arm hurts and goes numb for months, take your sorry fucking ass to the fucking doctor.
It took me god damn two mother fucking hours to find the fucking phillips attachment for the fucking drill that wasn't fucking charged, had to find the fucking battery and ever loving charger to charge fucking battery. All so I could screw some god damned reflectors on a fucking telephone pole because my mother can't use the fucking mirrors on the god damned car.

Leave your shit a complete horrible mess, that fucking Einstein couldn't figure out.
Ignore the fucking fact that "Wow, my left arm really hurts, numb, ect......."
Put your daughter down for knowing how to do shit, you sorry fucking sack of worthless piece of fucking shit. Because now you're counting on me to fix all the fucking shit you were too drunk and lazy to do.
Put down the dudes I date, because well, daughters look up to their dad's and you set a horrible example.
Lock me out of the fucking gun cabinet. My dad was supposed to teach me about guns. Just because I'm a girl doesn't make me worthless. When the owls or coyotes come for your stupid ass never shutting the fuck up dog, I'll just yell at them. And i'll be happy because that damn piece of shit won't shut the fuck up.
Do not under any circumstances, put your daughter down for having the balls to learn. One day she may be pulling up your pants.

Fuck!

Did someone huff all of the freon out of the fridge again?Really,I had to read this twice to even take a stab at what you were getting at.
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:59:14 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Pawdog:
So, I gotta know.......Which one is Daddy?

http://www.dba-oracle.com/images/red_neck_car.jpg


It isn't the one on the right, EdSr only has boys.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 1:59:55 PM EDT
Sick, pitiful rant and a nasty, nasty thread.
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 2:00:58 PM EDT
tl dr
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 2:01:58 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Pawdog:
So, I gotta know.......Which one is Daddy?

http://www.dba-oracle.com/images/red_neck_car.jpg


I assume this picture was taken in Oklahoma, or possibly just over the line in Arkansas
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 2:02:01 PM EDT
52 count as old fart?

Danny
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 2:02:40 PM EDT
Originally Posted By aerod1:
Did you get spanked a little hard as a kid?


Looks like not enough.
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 2:07:04 PM EDT
Shut yur face punk...
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 2:07:52 PM EDT
Glad I'm not her Daddy.

I wouldn't get any sleep knowing my daughter wants to kill me.
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 2:12:16 PM EDT
cliffnotes are your friend
Link Posted: 1/6/2012 2:12:39 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Win_88:
Originally Posted By aerod1:
Did you get spanked a little hard as a kid?


Looks like not enough.


Ya'll say what you want. I don't really care. I got it all off my chest and feel better. If you must know, yes, the fucker beat me. Hard.
Full fisted punches. Like pinning me down to hit me. When I was little and couldn't fight back. Now, I fight back.

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