Posted: 11/2/2012 8:02:41 AM EDT
I've packed on some poundage in the past several years. Not a whole lot, but I'm a small-framed guy so an extra 20lbs is a lot of mass. I got chunky after getting married. Before marriage I had a very physical job as a laborer, excersized regularly, and had a simple, well-rounded diet. The wife intakes a lot of fast food which impacted me quickly, on top of the added stress despite cushy jobs. She also continuously implied that she liked "thicker" men, despite every actor she's attracted to being a waif  . Well, I got fat, felt miserable, then got my ass in gear and got back to the best shape of my life through a lot of cardio, working out, and a very basic low cal diet. The wife and her best friend would constantly tell me that I was disgustingly skinny, which took the wind out of my sails and had me back to the old ways. At 5'8" I was at a lean 175lbs, hardly what I would call "too skinny." I was back up near the 200lb range in no time.
After a lot of yo-yoing with the diet for years, I finally got down to keeping a log of caloric intake. The specifcs of what I eat don't matter, as my body keeps me honest. I am hungry for whatever I need. If I snack too much I will suffer for it later. The log also keeps me honest. Using 15-1600 calories a day as a general guide, I've lost three belt sizes in a month and a half. I look forward to getting back to my highschool dimensions in another couple months. This time I'm not listening to the wife's BS and doing what makes me feel good and keeps me happy. If you guys have any tips or anything to add I'd love to hear it. |
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I would sit down and have a very honest discussion with her about supporting you through what is important to you, or at very least not tearing you down for it. Sounds like you have a handle on the diet part but could use some greater support from her.
Society's idea of skinny is about as fucked up as a bodybuilder's idea of fat. |
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Get the wife on board. Mine is and we support each other. We both have our set backs and help pull each other back in line.
If your wife likes thicker guys lift weights and make it a healthy thick. I am trading my gut for bigger legs, chest, and back. It will take awahile, but three weeks in and the results are noticable in the mirror and the according to the wife the reactions of other women are noticable. 
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Quoted:
Get the wife on board. Mine is and we support each other. We both have our set backs and help pull each other back in line. If your wife likes thicker guys lift weights and make it a healthy thick. I am trading my gut for bigger legs, chest, and back. It will take awahile, but three weeks in and the results are noticable in the mirror and the according to the wife the reactions of other women are noticable. You're not helping. That's why his wife doesn't want him working out. Yes, I'm generalizing heavily.
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Quoted:
Quoted:
Get the wife on board. Mine is and we support each other. We both have our set backs and help pull each other back in line. If your wife likes thicker guys lift weights and make it a healthy thick. I am trading my gut for bigger legs, chest, and back. It will take awahile, but three weeks in and the results are noticable in the mirror and the according to the wife the reactions of other women are noticable. You're not helping. That's why his wife doesn't want him working out. Yes, I'm generalizing heavily.
That opens the door to come back with "Gee I hadn't really been paying attention seeing as I was admiring your beauty dear." Serious note. If the wife is not supportive of your efforts it is going to be a struggle. My wife got the ball rolling in our household. I limped along for a few months and said screw it, all aboard the work out train. Now I am pushing things further. I want to convert the basement to a home gym to avoid the dread curl in the squat rack guy. Good luck OP. |
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Yeah...she's nearly impossible at times. She gets all manner of miffed when she comes in late at night with some ultra fattening freshly baked snack when I am at my hungriest and least want to see it. It immediately goes into the fridge while she shoots me the look of death.
My neighbors have all been telling me that I don't need to lose weight. Most people can't tell if I'm 30lbs heavier or lighter as my chest hides my gut pretty well. I'm really not sure what her whole "thick" thing is about. The other night she was watching one of the Twilight movies where the wolf boy is shirtless. Almost salivating, she tells me that is what I used to look like. It may be to discourage other girls...who knows. I got hit on the most when I was my heaviest...so that might be why she's not bothered by my being trim again. I definitely do not want to put on any muscle. I'm naturally muscular, and happy maintaining what I have. This, a chair, and the floor is my sophisticated workout equipment: 
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How's is wife's fitness?
Not being a dick, but I'm willing to bet she's fat. You being self motivated to make a positive change is screwing with her self esteem. In any case, your description of her treatment of you is pretty fucked up. Join a Crossfit gym and start hanging out with the fittest women in town, see what she does then
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She's put on about 10-15 pounds since we met 12 years ago. She was very slender at the time. She still looks very good, though I did like her better then. She had been doing yoga for some time but I haven't seen her at it lately. I used to be a raging asshole and have mellowed out a lot. In the meantime she's been becoming a real fucking ball buster 
She used to have guys whistling, cat calling, and making asses of themselves around her constantly. |
| Sounds like the support at home is the biggest issue. If working out (to a reasonable degree) makes you happy, your wife should support you. Then again I know many people that when one spouse starts to better themselves it makes the other nervous as to the motivations. A quick look at any of these chick sites shows them all to be wary of the number one sign of cheating.... "getting in better shape".... Another possibility is I know in my family cooking was a sign of affection, refusal of this offering is like turning your back on someone. Personally I'd try to find something you both can do and enjoy that will help you toward your goals. |