Filthy squaters. Need advice.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Filthy squaters. Need advice. (Page 1 of 2)

Posted: 3/28/2009 3:14:25 PM EDT

So, these guys think it's cool to move into my backyard and set up camp. They have some balls. I will give them that as their new home is directly outside of my back door and they don't even react when I go outside anymore. I took this picture from about 1-2 feet way. Nothing, not even a flinch. I tried to be reasonable and actually went outside to talk to them about it. I explained that they were not legally entitled to reside on my property. Fuckers just stared vacantly at me.

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Posted: 3/28/2009 3:15:30 PM EDT

[#1]

Quoted:
So, these guys think it's cool to move into my backyard and set up camp. They have some balls. I will give them that as their new home is directly outside of my back door and they don't even react when I go outside anymore. I took this picture from about 1-2 feet way. Nothing, not even a flinch. I tried to be reasonable and actually went outside to talk to them about it. I explained that they were not legally entitled to reside on my property. Fuckers just stared vacantly at me.

http://img3.imageshack.us/my.php?image=mrpete.jpg

Police & Tresspassing charges are required.

Oh yeah, red X.

Posted: 3/28/2009 3:16:47 PM EDT

[#2]

Fire.

Posted: 3/28/2009 3:19:39 PM EDT

[#3]

Better pic uploaded. So, does anyone have any good dove recipes?

Posted: 3/28/2009 3:19:55 PM EDT

[#4]

Leave them alone.

Posted: 3/28/2009 3:19:58 PM EDT

[#5]

Doves? We had them in a similar sutuation growing up. We never had problems and they were relatively clean.

Pidgions on the other hand are SOS.

Posted: 3/28/2009 3:20:10 PM EDT

[#6]

The big one is eye fucking you. Totally mad dogging. Watch your 6.

Posted: 3/28/2009 3:20:51 PM EDT

[#7]

MMMM.....

tasty

Posted: 3/28/2009 3:21:12 PM EDT

[#8]

Posted: 3/28/2009 3:21:49 PM EDT

[#9]

Posted: 3/28/2009 3:23:17 PM EDT

[#10]

give peas a chance

Posted: 3/28/2009 3:24:33 PM EDT

[#11]

go an watch the Professional, it could give you some ideas.

Posted: 3/28/2009 3:25:36 PM EDT

[#12]

Somewhere, someone on a boat is thinking "Dry land at last!"

Posted: 3/28/2009 3:25:54 PM EDT

[#13]

Pepper spray FTW!

Posted: 3/28/2009 3:27:29 PM EDT

[#14]

Leave them alone, they are not hurting anything, they will leave in due time.

Posted: 3/28/2009 3:32:21 PM EDT

[#15]

John Kerry likes to hang them then cold smoke them.
He says they're good for picnics, so you know, maybe some potato salad on the side, baked beans.

Posted: 3/28/2009 3:32:50 PM EDT

[#16]

Quoted:
give peas a chance

Pee on them? Hmmm, that didn't even occur to me! Brilliant! OK, when night falls, Operation Yellow Justice will kick off.

Quoted:
The big one is eye fucking you. Totally mad dogging. Watch your 6.

I thought the same thing. He is like Heavy 6, with feathers and hollow bones. Fat, angry, bastard bird.

Posted: 3/28/2009 4:33:07 PM EDT

[#17]

SSS

Shoot
Season
Saute

Posted: 3/28/2009 4:37:06 PM EDT

[#18]

Are fireworks legal in your state? Toss a few lady fingers their way and they will likely seek out a more peacful enviroment.

I have no use for filthy, flying disease bags nesting on my home and shitting everywhere.

Posted: 3/28/2009 4:45:19 PM EDT

[#19]

Smoked...
Wrapped in Bacon, FTW.

Posted: 3/28/2009 4:46:41 PM EDT

[#20]

Gas, grass or ass.

Since they aren't likely to have any of the first two, I think you know what you have to do.

Posted: 3/28/2009 4:48:08 PM EDT

[#21]

Quoted:
Are fireworks legal in your state? Toss a few lady fingers their way and they will likely seek out a more peacful enviroment.

I have no use for filthy, flying disease bags nesting on my home and shitting everywhere.

Meh, I could pick them up and shake them if I wanted to. They are pretty use to me. Little turds were here last year until a cat dove on their nest and broke the eggs. I'm going to let them be, they can be pretty entertaining. I'm still going to pee on them though.

Posted: 3/28/2009 4:50:16 PM EDT

[#22]

Dinner!

Posted: 3/28/2009 4:51:50 PM EDT

[#23]

in for the dinner pics

Posted: 3/28/2009 4:54:34 PM EDT

[#24]

Posted: 3/28/2009 4:54:41 PM EDT

[#25]

Quoted:
Doves?

Yessir. Delicious, delicious doves.

Posted: 3/28/2009 4:57:25 PM EDT

[#26]

Quoted:
Leave them alone.

+1 They will leave soon anyway.

Posted: 3/28/2009 4:58:16 PM EDT

[#27]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Are fireworks legal in your state? Toss a few lady fingers their way and they will likely seek out a more peacful enviroment.

I have no use for filthy, flying disease bags nesting on my home and shitting everywhere.

Meh, I could pick them up and shake them if I wanted to. They are pretty use to me. Little turds were here last year until a cat dove on their nest and broke the eggs. I'm going to let them be, they can be pretty entertaining. I'm still going to pee on them though.

Who in their right mind would pee on food?

Posted: 3/28/2009 4:59:10 PM EDT

[#28]

I am far from squeemish about killing things, but I personally would leave them alone. I'm sure there is something you could set up so they can't nest there in the future.

Posted: 3/28/2009 5:04:32 PM EDT

[#29]

Quoted:

Meh, I could pick them up and shake them if I wanted to. They are pretty use to me. Little turds were here last year until a cat dove on their nest and broke the eggs. I'm going to let them be, they can be pretty entertaining. I'm still going to pee on them though.

This sounds like the middle ground. Your not killing them but you are establishing your authority over them. In case you change your mind, I would let them get a little bigger before eating them but not big enough to fly. Like dove veal. Mmmm tasty.

Posted: 3/28/2009 5:09:03 PM EDT

[#30]

Recipe for Squab

Posted: 3/28/2009 5:13:01 PM EDT

[#31]

Rosted dove

Posted: 3/28/2009 5:15:52 PM EDT

[#32]

Quoted:
Leave them alone, they are not hurting anything, they will leave in due time.

This. They'll also come back year after year.

Baby pic from last year in my backyard:

Really cool to watch when the parents kick 'em out of the nest to teach them how to be adult birds.

Posted: 3/28/2009 5:48:10 PM EDT

[#33]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Leave them alone, they are not hurting anything, they will leave in due time.

This. They'll also come back year after year.

Baby pic from last year in my backyard:

http://home.surewest.net/hivac/images/babies.JPG

Really cool to watch when the parents kick 'em out of the nest to teach them how to be adult birds.

Now, I gotta ask. Why do you have two blue toilet brushes lodged in the window grating??

Posted: 3/28/2009 6:04:09 PM EDT

[#34]

They're for dusting and cobwebs. The birds liked the one I left hanging. I got another so they'd have more room to nest.

Posted: 3/28/2009 6:09:46 PM EDT

[#35]

Dove is really tasty.

Take boneless breast, jalapeno, and cheese (or substitute pepperjack to simplify), and wrap with bacon. Use toothpick to secure. Cook over charcoal until bacon is done and cheese is melty.

Posted: 3/29/2009 11:09:13 AM EDT

[#36]

Quoted:

Quoted:

Meh, I could pick them up and shake them if I wanted to. They are pretty use to me. Little turds were here last year until a cat dove on their nest and broke the eggs. I'm going to let them be, they can be pretty entertaining. I'm still going to pee on them though.

This sounds like the middle ground. Your not killing them but you are establishing your authority over them. In case you change your mind, I would let them get a little bigger before eating them but not big enough to fly. Like dove veal. Mmmm tasty.

Exactly. I'm hard but I'm fair.

Posted: 3/29/2009 11:16:35 AM EDT

[#37]

My wife feeds a flock on the patio every am.

I encourage her charity.

When the shtf they're an easy 8' shot with some Super Colibris.

Posted: 3/29/2009 11:45:13 AM EDT

[#38]

Pretty good pics.

I have a couple of mating pairs that reside in my backyard. The population is self controlling because doves are pretty friggin stupid. If they would only stick to the feeders (that are always full) instead of hanging out on the ground where the neighbors cats pick them off.

I leave them be. Future SHTF supplemental food source.

Posted: 3/29/2009 12:21:58 PM EDT

[#39]

Might be a little tight, but open of one of these:

Call this guy:

And he will tell you what to do. Guarantee they will bug out after that.

Posted: 3/29/2009 12:32:46 PM EDT

[#40]

Quoted:

They're for dusting and cobwebs. The birds liked the one I left hanging. I got another so they'd have more room to nest.

That's cool! I saw some really fat ones last year,they looked like freakin' pigeons!

Posted: 3/29/2009 12:36:33 PM EDT

[#41]

blade at 45 and yell, "YOU WILL NOT TAKE OVER MY FLOWER POT, YOU WILL NOT ACT LIKE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME!"

then turn around and sprint as fast as you can into your house.

Posted: 3/29/2009 12:53:38 PM EDT

[#42]

22lr just to be safe

we used to destroy those f*ckers when i was growing up by barely opening the sliding glass door and waiting on them to come try and shit on the hot tub. funny how one drops and the other just turns and looks like WTF you doing you dumbass?

Posted: 3/29/2009 1:01:11 PM EDT

[#43]

Leave them be.

"At the national level, the mourning dove is a migratory bird protected under the Federal Migratory Bird Treaty Act. This Act allows managed hunting, based upon dove population surveys. States are responsible for establishing their own hunting seasons within the Federal framework."

I hunt them within the law. Dove is a fun hunt, and a good meal. Try to avoid harassing the game off season.

Lem

Posted: 3/29/2009 1:09:41 PM EDT

[#44]

Cute little dudes.... Bring them some water and bread crumbs.

Posted: 3/29/2009 1:27:43 PM EDT

[#45]

Quoted:
Smoked...
Wrapped in Bacon, FTW.

THIS, if they overstay their welcome. Otherwise, let 'em be. I concur with above posts that pigeons must die, though. Trick is shooting them in midflight so they land on asshole neighbor's roof.

Posted: 3/29/2009 1:40:04 PM EDT

[#46]

I say you're squatting on their land, not the other way around.

Posted: 3/30/2009 12:23:59 AM EDT

[#47]

Quoted:
Cute little dudes.... Bring them some water and bread crumbs.

Just water. I put out seed for them last year, but that just attracted critters which attracted the cat that fubared their nest last year.

Quoted:
I say you're squatting on their land, not the other way around.

Well then, that would make you a hippy. Thanks hippy.

Posted: 3/30/2009 1:08:20 AM EDT

[#48]

Thanks man, the funnniest things I've heard all night are as follows: 1) Operation Yellow Justice 2) Fat angry bastard bird 3) I'm still going to pee on them.

Posted: 3/30/2009 1:36:47 AM EDT

[#49]

Put its head in a dresser drawer!!! Make a day of it!!

Posted: 3/30/2009 1:52:36 AM EDT

[#50]

Next season you will be dead. They are an advance team of killer birds that will peck your eyes out and eat your liver.

Some guy named A. Hitchcock made a documentary about a similar incident out in California.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Filthy squaters. Need advice. (Page 1 of 2)

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