almost relevant, Fear and loathing quote

Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop-heart. Make the bastard chase you. He will follow.

ALIENS

"Does anyone mistake you for a man?"
"No, and you?"

Army of Darkness:

"You got two things going for you: Jack and Shit-And Jack just left town"

"First you wanna kill me, now you wanna Fuck me. Blow!"

My donut chasing amigo:

Please get the quote right (it helps that I work with a Vasquez here and we enact this at least once per week:

"Hey Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?"

"No, have you?"



Adam

I thought the quote from army of darkness was

1st you want to kill me, now you want to kiss me. BLOW.

???

Loud gunshot.
[b]Jules:[/b] Oh, I'm sorry. Did I break your concentration?
______________________________

[b]Mr. Wolfe:[/b] If I'm curt with you, it's because time is a factor. I think fast, I talk fast, and I need you guys to act fast if you want to get out of this. So.... pretty please, with sugar on top... clean the fuckin' car.
______________________________

[b]Henchman:[/b] This search... how do you want it done?
[b]Marsellus:[/b] I'm prepared to scour the Earth for that motherfucker. If Butch goes to Indochina I want a nigger hidin' in a bowl of rice waitin' to pop a cap in his ass.
______________________________

[b]Jules:[/b]   I will never forgive your ass for this shit. This is some fucked-up repugnant shit!
[b]Vincent:[/b]   Did you ever hear the philosophy that once a man admits he's wrong, he's immediately forgiven for all wrong-doings? Did you ever hear that?
[b]Jules:[/b]   Man, get outta my face with that shit! The motherfucker who said that never had to pick up itty- bitty pieces of skull on account of your dumb ass.
[b]Vincent:[/b]   I got a threshold, Jules. I got a threshold for the abuse I'll take. And right now I'm a race car and you got me in the red. I'm just saying that it's fuckin' dangerous to have a racecar in the fuckin' red. It could blow.
[b]Jules:[/b]   Oh, you're gettin' ready to blow?
[b]Vincent:[/b]   I could blow.
[b]Jules:[/b]   Well I'm a mushroom-cloud-layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Every time my fingers touch brain I'm "SUPERFLY T.N.T," I'm the "GUNS OF NAVARONE." In fact, what the fuck am I doin' in the back? You're the motherfucker should be on brain detail. We're fuckin' switchin' right now. I'm washin' the windows and you're pickin' up this nigger's skull.

Harlem Nights with Eddie Murphy

Friday w/ Ice Cube

I forget the name of the cheesy movie, but Roddy Piper, a pro-wrasler, burst into a place; "I came to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and I'm all out of bubblegum."

Sorry, it was really late at night/early in the AM!

I AGREE.

(read my sig line.......)

The Professionals, 1966

Lee Marvin: “You’ll have to get over this nasty habit of losing your pants...it’s not dignified.”

Burt Lancaster: “Yeah...drafty too.”

Rdogs
"You shoot me in a dream.... you better wake up and apologize."

Love the new sig line dude! That rocks. (If you know the inside joke)......   [x]

Someone will get the full correct quote for me, but I like the line from The Outlaw Josey Wales that goes something like this:

Josey: "The people that I like have a habit of dying on me."
Indian Chief: "I noticed that the people you don't like don't last long either."

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Tuco: (Reading a handwritten note) “See you soon ... idi ... idi ...”

Blondie: “... Idiots  ... it’s for you.”

Great movie .

Piper is walking down the street with the glasses on

"OORRHH That's like putting perfume on a big"

I have borrowed this line more than once and have never had to explain it

Billy Madison, its long but well worth it:

Principal: Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Billy: A simple "wrong" would have worked.

OK, I found it.  The correct quote is:

Josey: "It's always like that, though. Whenever I get to likin' someone, they aint around long."

Indian: "I notice that whenever you get to dislikin' someone, they aint around long either."

Ah, well done!  That was one of the funniest lines in the movie.

"I would salute you, but I am bereft of spit."
John Wayne, "Ghengis Khan"

Liar Liar, Jim Carey

"This would be like if Tina Turner told Ike to hit me a again and this time, knock the stank off of me"

"I'm your huckleberry."---absolutely the most stupid, chilling remark ever

"you gonna uncase that smoke-wagon or stand there and bleed.....

Probably the only funny thing in [i]Lethal Weapon 4[/i]:

[b]Chris Rock:[/b]
"You have a right to remain silent, so shut the fuck up. You have a right to an attorney; if you can't afford an attorney we'll provide you with the dumbest fuckin' lawyer on earth. And if you hire Johnnie Cochran I'll kill you."

From [b]Galaxy Quest[/b]:

Jason (Tim Allen) sleeps, on the floor under the coffee table, hungover, dead to the world. There is a knocking on the door. He barely moves. Every indication is that he's dead. More knocking. He stirs enough to groan. The knocking continues ... Jason opens his eyes and sees THE ALIENS standing outside his patio door, looking in at him. He groans, gets up from under the table and makes his way wearily to the door.
Jason opens the door in his underwear, drooping bloodshot eyes, squint of a headache ... There before him are THE ALIENS dressed in their perfect GALAXY QUEST attire. Jason stares at them, bleary eyed. With earnest respectful faces, the five salute him in the classic "GALAXY QUEST" style.

Jason: Can I help you?!

The leader, MATHASAR, steps forward. Speaks quickly:
Sir, I understand this is a terrible breach in protocol,

Jason: Right. You shouldn't come to my house.

MATHASAR (CONTINUING): ... but please, I beg you to hear our plea. We are Thermians from the Klatu Nebula. Our people are being systematically hunted and slaughtered by Roth'h'ar Sarris of Fatu-Krey. We are to meet in negotiation. However our past efforts in this regard have been disastrous.

Please Commander, you are our last hope.

(beat)

We have secured our limousine.

Jason: What? ... Oh, oh, oh, oh, um. It's the thing for the thing that's, um –
(beat)
Maybe I should get some pants on. Come on in.

---Inside---

The four aliens stand on one side of the room. Jason, mostly dressed, hunts under his couch for something.

MATHASAR: Commander, I must say that standing here in your presence is the greatest honor we could ever have hoped to achieve in our lifetimes.   *Mostly all they can see of Jason at the moment is his butt, as he is on his knees, looking for his shoes. *

Jason: That's – I really appreciate that. Would you guys look for another shoe that looks like this, please? *holds up a shoe*

THE ALIENS look around for the other shoe, mostly by staring at the ceiling.

--- Limo ---
Jason sits in back with MATHASAR and the others, half-awake. The three men are seated across from Jason, and a dark-haired female is sitting next to him. Jason, ever the ladies' man, eyes her appreciatively.

LAHNK: Sir, I am Lahnk, senior requisition officer. Before we travel to the ship, please let me know if you have any requirements. Weapons, documents, personnel...

Jason: Um – a Coca Cola? Do you have one of those?

One of the aliens nods to the other who opens a compartment in the limo and takes out a cola.

TEB: Sir, I am Teb. I would like to explain the history between our people and the Sarris Dominion in greater detail.

JASON (to LALIARI, the dark-haired female)

Hey, how ya doin'?

TEB

In the 5 million years following the great nebula burst our people were one...

Jason: (to LALIARI) What's your name?

She just smiles and sits there.

Jason: Doesn't she talk?

TEB: Her translator is broken.

LALIARI says something, but it comes out a weird mix of sounds. Like a screaming baby inside a bagpipe.

Jason: Okey dokey... Ya know, guys, I had a late night with a Kreemorian Fangor Beast, so I'm going to just shut my eyes for a bit. But go on, I'm listening to everything you say. Okay? ...

Jason is asleep before Teb gets the next sentence out.

TEB (CONTINUING)...


[EDITED TWICE because I'm too used to HTML and put the wrong tags on... twice... ]