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Posted: 4/2/2006 8:52:52 PM EDT
[#1]
There's one thing nobody ever told me about, and you can't tell from tv:
There's...an odor. 
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Posted: 4/2/2006 8:53:52 PM EDT
[#2]
shes already worried about shitting herself. Ive seen worse. Not from her but ive seen worse....
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Posted: 4/2/2006 8:56:44 PM EDT
[#3]
A big +1 on that. It was the most frightning thing in the world for me, i wanted to run from the room. It was a really great moment when my son came into the world. Tell here not to worry about shitting herself,mine was worried sick about it and it did not happen. |
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Posted: 4/2/2006 9:00:30 PM EDT
[#4]
To me the worst thing was the sound of the baby coming out. I thought my wife was going to split in half. It sounded like her bones were breaking.
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Posted: 4/2/2006 9:02:28 PM EDT
[#5]
I'll ask both the Mrs' and get back to you.  Actually, the 1st son was an absolute bitch for 26 hours, the 2nd son came in less than 1 hour, and my 2nd wife had a Caesarean. The firstborn son was a doozy...Mom wasn't too happy with anything I did or said. She can thank Eve.  HH |
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Posted: 4/2/2006 9:02:33 PM EDT
[#6]
She was in pain, but me, I didn't feel a thing. Being such a sensitive guys, I was suprised.
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Posted: 4/2/2006 9:03:03 PM EDT
[#7]
One of my gf was a mother, she said it wasnt that bad, far easier than she wqas lead to believe
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Posted: 4/2/2006 9:11:06 PM EDT
[#8]
I don’t mean to be rude but epidural should be a last resort if she is near passing out from pain. The ability to feel, as I understand, promotes quick passage once the baby is actually in the birth canal. The longer the baby is in the birth canal, the greater probability of complications resulting from insufficient oxygen which results in brain damage. Sure it doesn’t happen often, but natural is the way to go if possible. A friend of mine who had a kid 2 weeks ago had a small amount of during her contractions because she was having trouble staying conscious as a result of the pain, (she is tiny and her husband is 6' 3" - huge baby) but she insisted on no drugs during the actual delivery. Ask your doctor about risks. |
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Posted: 4/2/2006 9:14:19 PM EDT
[#9]
You are about to find out just how tough your wife really is...
I have never looked at my wife the same since.
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Posted: 4/2/2006 9:17:43 PM EDT
[#10]
Just remember Epidural and 4cm. Better living (and labor) through pharmaceuticals.
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Posted: 4/2/2006 9:23:05 PM EDT
[#11]
There is this one point during which the baby passes through what my wife called "The ring of fire"
I have NEVER seen my wife's face contort like that and she looked like she popped a vessel in her brain. But when my daughter was born... I cried. Best advice I can give anyone who is expecting: THROW ALL ADVICE OUT THE WINDOW BECAUSE NOTHING IS GONNA PREPARE YOU FOR WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO GO THROUGH!! Oh and you know all the stuff you are worrying about now? Cars, bills, job, house payment, etc...? all that worry will have NO value after your child is born. You will now realize what is trivial BS in your life. THIS is what matters.... Congratualtions my friend... all the luck to you, your bride and your child. 
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Posted: 4/2/2006 9:24:58 PM EDT
[#12]
Thanks... my priority right now is totally to make sure nothing ever happens to this little girl. She isnt even here yet and i am ultra paranoid.
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Posted: 4/2/2006 9:25:11 PM EDT
[#13]
You need to calve out a first time heifer to full appreciate the physics involved.
I've cranked THE SHIT out of a calf trying to drag his gargantuan ass out of the heifer, and it is not pleasant for anybody... Odor, yea, I can imagine. Thats a fucking (uterine) load of juices and mucus and blood and every other nasty that makes you gag and heave. I don't want to cross this bridge until I absolutely have to with a wife... I'd think it'd take the fun out of it. Literally. Gross me the fuck out. |
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Posted: 4/2/2006 9:28:48 PM EDT
[#14]
To tell you the truth, I hardly felt a thing.
 Seriously though, my wife reported an uncomfortable icy cold sensation from the epidural, but since it kills all feeling from the waist down, it's worth it. I couldn't imagine what it would be like without the epidural. We were told that the epidural should be given while the mother can still hold still. It's not safe to go poking needles into a shaking, contorting spine. FWIW, both of our deliveries were very quick, even with epidurals. The babies popped out very healthy looking and active. Modern meds are a good thing. The process is somewhat disturbing, but from a clinical perspective, very interesting. Regarding the pain involved, shouldn't you be asking this in the womans forum? |
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Posted: 4/2/2006 9:28:49 PM EDT
[#15]
We are expecting our forth child. My wife has never needed any pain meds during any of her births. All of her births have been vaginal delivery. I don't know how much pain she is in during birth, but she wants to have more children.
lumper. |
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Posted: 4/2/2006 9:37:42 PM EDT
[#16]
Why are you asking the fathers? Shouldnt you be asking the women that have actually gone through it?
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Posted: 4/2/2006 9:40:33 PM EDT
[#17]
I would prefer a dads perspective on what they see the wife going through honestly. No offense to thre ladies
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Posted: 4/2/2006 9:42:27 PM EDT
[#18]
I think it really runs the spectrum.
My wife had a very easy labor. She had to be induced, but she was already 3cm dialated for several weeks before giving birth. The labor only lasted 4 hours and she only had to push through 3 or 4 contractions. She BARELY got the epidural in time for the delivery.. She rated the pain as a 7 out of 10 right before she asked for the drugs. So basically she labored the entire time and her pain never rose above a "7". The best part was getting to help with the delivery - One nurse held one leg, I held the other leg, and the doctor caught the baby. It really wasn't bad at all. I didn't experience any horrible smell.. I think most of the Dad's who have trouble are a little squimish to begin with. |
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Posted: 4/2/2006 9:57:07 PM EDT
[#19]
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Posted: 4/2/2006 10:04:57 PM EDT
[#20]
My two daughter-in-laws had thier babies at a mid-wife service and they did it in the tub of water...both had fairly easy deliveries within an hour.
My wife's first was labor through 3 shifts of nurses and then a C section...after two more C sections, it was enough. But, she did love being pregnant |
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Posted: 4/2/2006 10:19:32 PM EDT
[#21]
Hey, what do you mean we haven't gone through it. Why, I was there at both the laying of the keel and the launching. What more could you posibly ask from me? Actually, I was surprised at and impressed with Mrs. NMSight when I was with her during the natural births of #1 and #2. Tough gal. NMSight |
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Posted: 4/2/2006 10:25:56 PM EDT
[#22]
So after those 26 hours he calmed down and wasn't a bitch anymore? |
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Posted: 4/2/2006 10:28:50 PM EDT
[#23]
Not so Bad if she's getting the spinal tap, could make her a little nauseated though
Natural birth gets the Blood/sweat/tears factor going...my wife actually had one of each like night & day comparing the two My new baby |
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Posted: 4/2/2006 10:34:10 PM EDT
[#24]
My back was killing me. Those damn nurses had the bed low enough that I couldn't stand up right and comfort my wife, and high enough I couldn't bend over all the way and get comfortable. I was in a half standing crouching position for like 4 hours. It was terrible, atleast my wife had drugs to take away some of the pain. The doc wouldn't give me anything.
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Posted: 4/2/2006 10:50:31 PM EDT
[#25]
Last one (second kid) was quick and painless for me. Water broke at midnight, took me 45 minutes to get to the hospital because I had to drop of arms room keys at work, got to Tripler at 1245, she was on a bed by 1am and baby out by 1:33. No drugs, no stitches, wife was up and about a couple hours later and we were out withing 36 hours. Wife is 5'2", 145 at time of birth, kid was 6lbs 1 oz. Hardest part was staying awake for me.
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Posted: 4/2/2006 10:52:32 PM EDT
[#26]
Never bothered me at all, my wife was begging for pain meds though
Make sure they give you the extra stich
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Posted: 4/2/2006 11:02:43 PM EDT
[#27]
Odor?
Never experienced it..... My wife doing an impression of Linda Blair from the Exorcist and telling me that this (her condition) was all my fault? Experienced it! Twice!
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Posted: 4/2/2006 11:02:46 PM EDT
[#28]
My first two were with minimal medications, mostly because in the first one the folks in the next door were having so many problems. She was a princess and was demanding drugs, they didn't want to give any more since she was on the edge. so she stopped pushing until more drugs, had been at it for 23 hours at that point. Ma D figured she was tougher and she was. Most of the "pain" was from back labor. Ask about that, Dad gets to massage constantly, and you generally get a real impossible position to do it from.
The second went pretty quickly. The third I had no problems with. Of course I was in Japan and she was in CA, so that may have a bearing on why it was so easy for me. Will she poop? on you? depends on timing. How far along in the process when arriving at the hospital, what she's been eating, how fast things are moving along. If you are in time they will give her an enema and clean things out and clean things up and no surprises. If not in time for that you may get a nasty surprise. Most ladies have a moderately uncomfortable experience, very few have a lot of bad pain and some are like the lady in my reserve unit who thought she ws having cramps a week before the due date and pooped it out in the lobby at Balboa Navy Hospital, explaining to the Receptionist, she thought she ought to see her Doc as long as she was in the area and her indigestion was funny. |
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Posted: 4/2/2006 11:10:39 PM EDT
[#29]
.
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Posted: 4/3/2006 4:38:36 AM EDT
[#30]
First kid took 12 hours, second an hour, third 2 hours--all with no medication. It's not unusual for the first to take awhile. The "Linda Blair" impression is on target.
We've talked about it, and she says it is the worst pain she has ever experienced, but the joy of holding our child immediately afterward somehow blocks the memory. She says she knows it hurt, but more clearly remembers the pain and soreness of her recovery rather than the actual labor and birth. |
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Posted: 4/3/2006 4:45:24 AM EDT
[#31]
epidural....all the way. I wouldn't want to be the one having kids. |
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Posted: 4/3/2006 5:06:56 AM EDT
[#32]
My wife and I have had two boys. First one was 9lbs 6oz. Took 59 hours from the start of contractions, and was done completely without medication. Second one took about 16, also without medication. She had significant back/hip pain with both of them, alleviated with hand pressure from me.
She absolutely wouldn't have had them any other way. If you go that route, make sure to keep her hydrated, calm, and relaxed. Make sure you have something to drink/eat as well. You don't want to run out of gas when she needs you. |
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Posted: 4/3/2006 5:10:58 AM EDT
[#33]
I've had 2 kids. The first one was induced, 22 hours of hard labor later, We had our first. Fast forward 2 years, I woke up feeling like I was having the starts of a kidney stone attack, called Kooter to come get me, as I was waiting for him my water broke (all over HIS side of the bed)
 about 8 hours later (and an epideral) came our last. I did not like the epideral, and would never consider it again!
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Posted: 4/3/2006 5:38:15 AM EDT
[#34]
I delivered my three kids. Didn't have a choice. Lived way up in the mountains. Here's what I did. I made her walk at least 2 miles a day in the final month. I got her in the mind set that she was preparing for an athletic event. I further explained that it would be the same for the baby, only tougher. I got some cocoa butter (helps avoid stretch marks) and had her rub it on in all the right places (everyday) to make the skin more elastic. When labor began, I had her stand up, facing a wall and supporting herself with her hands against the wall. Standing up makes gravity your friend. On this birth, she stood up for about 2 hours.
Here's the really tough part that you need to prepare for; both of you; it's called TRANSITION. When the baby is in the birth canal and the strecthing hits a new level, and the pain escalates: she will hate everthing in the room, especially you. She will call you everthing in the book. If you are prepared for this, you can keep your head. You have to be positive and not take what she says to heart. Delivery. I had her get on all fours and pant. I got in the catching position, behind her; this also puts away from her head so she is not yelling in your face. Have some padding on the floor, because my last kid came out so fast, I barely caught him and he had a soft impact on a pillow. After the baby is delivered, I had her lay on her back while I cleared the mucus out of his nose with a small suction device. At about this time, the placenta comes out (afterbirth). I had some sterilzed bootlaces. I tied off the cord about six inches from his belly and cut the cord. Then I handed him to my wife; who now loved me again. I will say; if it's her first birth, use a hospital. If there is a complication, you have back up. The above method I learned from a local native American tribe. Worked for me. Good luck. |
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Posted: 4/3/2006 5:45:04 AM EDT
[#35]
My wife did about 14 hours of labor with no real progress. The girls heart rate was starting to drop in contractions and once the probe came loose and nearly caused me a heart attack. The nurse said I turned white. My wife was puking constantly when she wasn't looking like she was being impaled. I seriouly began to wonder just how much she could take. I certainly have a great deal of respect for what they go through. The doctor decided on a C-section though due to the signs that baby was starting to have a rough time of it in there. I got to stay in the room as they did the operation and it was just amazing to see your child pulled out from inside your wife. I had to do all the feedings and stuff at first. My wife was out like a light the first night.
The lactation lady was about to make me nuts. She wanted to force her to wake up and feed the kid from her breast and it was quite F'n clear that she was in no condition to do so. Our kid was fine with either formula or breast as it turns out. If it was food she was all over it. |
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Posted: 4/3/2006 5:46:49 AM EDT
[#36]
- My hats off to you sir!
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Posted: 4/3/2006 5:50:28 AM EDT
[#37]
Let's put it this way, I thought I was going to have to have a set of Lee Press On fingernails surgically removed from my forearm when it was over.
Good luck! Ed |
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Posted: 4/3/2006 6:00:47 AM EDT
[#38]
Good post. Remember it. |
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Posted: 4/3/2006 6:05:05 AM EDT
[#39]
That's exactly what I was thinking! The thing about having and epi is that in some cases it can often lead to more interventions and (IMHO) this is not always a good thing. I've had four babies, the first three were natural births and what helped me the most during labor was walking. Gravity is your friend. Once that epi is in, you aren't going anywhere. My last baby (10 lbs) was induced because of gestational diabetes, the pain and pressure were so much that I had to have an epi and I hated the loss of control over what was happening to me (although I DID take back a certain amount of control during the second stage) - I did manage to get some time on the birthing ball before things got too bad (took a while for the pitocin to get kick in) and that speeded things up beautfiully - I can highly recommend it, moves things along nicely. It's painful, you're in the fight of your life, there might be a certain amount of hollering and screaming, I never got abusive towards my hubby, I think that's a Hollyweird thing. The worst I said, upong being told to breathe/push was "I AM fucking pushing/breathing!" and that was to my midwife. (she was annoying me by trying to keep me flat on my back, which felt WRONG) Get her walking, seriously. And on the ball, if one is available, because it opens the pelvis right up, sitting on the toilet helps too. I wish my hubby would post his thoughts on the subject. Good luck! |
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Posted: 4/3/2006 6:14:50 AM EDT
[#40]
Depends on the circumstances of the delivery. Ours was horrible, 17 hours long, wife vomitting constandly, screaming so loud the other patients were having their doors shut. Even with an epidural, bad news. But the kid should have been done by C-section.
GunLvr |
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Posted: 4/3/2006 6:17:27 AM EDT
[#41]
Never noticed any smell,but didn't get THAT close.
That said,I'm more impressed with my wife than EVER before. After days of labor,there was some sort of mixup at the hospital,and by the time the anaesthesiologist arrived,he said it was too late to go the epidural route.Then most of the way out,the Ob/Gyn says,"OH,SHEET!" Trust me,that is NOT something you want to hear! Then he says, "You need to push that baby out NOW!" She about turned purple with pushing and came up off the bed,with the Doc making similiar exertions! Out came the baby,then a nurse grabbed it and took off.Wife tried to follow.Seems she had the cord wrapped around her neck.Everything was fine,but scared the hell out of us.And wife had what I think they call third degree tearing.BAD! Later a nurse told me that if anything was to go wrong,he was the Doc to have.I asked him how many babies he had delivered,he just laughed.He was near 70 years old,and said he had delivered THOUSANDS before he ever came to the US,without much in the way of modern medical support. My daughter was just shy of 10# and the boys were all 10 or better.Last one was C-section,but was due to medical reasons. All the sonograms etc,had the kids pegged at 7-71/2 lbs.What gives? There is NOTHING better than holding a new one for the first time. |
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Posted: 4/3/2006 6:20:51 AM EDT
[#42]
picture trying to push a melon out of your ass
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Posted: 4/3/2006 6:24:29 AM EDT
[#43]
Same here, they had Jamie estimated at maybe 8-8.5 lbs and out came this whopping 10lb-er. he was almost too big for the scale and looked quite out of place among all the tiny little babies in the nursery. They nicknamed him 'The Bruiser', a name he is living up to quite nicely. |
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Posted: 4/3/2006 6:25:32 AM EDT
[#44]
Right ... imagine trying to squeeze a watermelon through a garden hose. 
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Posted: 4/3/2006 6:27:59 AM EDT
[#45]
Well said. Have your wife cut her fingernails... I think I still have some scars. Be prepared to be politefully assertive on your wife's behalf. If lots of babies are arriving, the staff may be busy. Understand that, but if your wife feels a need is being ignored, find someone and politely request the appropriate attention. The extra stitch line... Speaking of stitching... the physician says, "My wife taught me to always put things back just like I found them." Incredible volume of blood during this part. Looking over his shoulder during this part, I realized I must not be squeamish. If you are squeamish, don't google "episiotomy." I remember crying tears of joy when my kids were born. |
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Posted: 4/3/2006 6:29:59 AM EDT
[#46]
HAH! One of my boys was 80# at his 6th Bday.His elbows and knees are the size of mine.No one believes his age.Causes some problems because kids his size are way older.Some of the men on my wife's side are freakin' behemoths! I mean,they're big enough to eat hay! |
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Posted: 4/3/2006 6:40:46 AM EDT
[#47]
For our first my wife was in the labor room, and I stepped out to find a bathroom. The elevator door opened and they pushed this gurney out with a woman screaming and cussing like a sailor. I mean, Sgt. Ermy would have been embarrassed. Her poor hubby was following along meekly, head down.
"You sonuvabeotch... I'll cut your nuts out... this is all your fault, m---f---er, you'll never touch me again..." Straight back to the delivery room with her screaming all the way. I found the bathroom. All I could think was, dang, I hope my wife didn't hear all that and get upset. Headed back to the labor room, and a few minutes later, here comes the screamer back past us, she, the baby, and hubby all lovey-dovey. Kiss, kiss, our baby is beautiful, oh, I love you so much, yada, yada, yada. What's this? 10 minutes ago she was going to castrate him, now she is all sweetness. Go figure.  edited to add: My wife's delivery went smooth... I didn't feel a thing.
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Posted: 4/3/2006 6:48:47 AM EDT
[#48]
I'm actually enjoying the Dad's perspective. One peice of advice given to my husband in hindsight was probably good. Once Mother starts pushing DO NOT HOLD HER HAND! Patty |
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Posted: 4/3/2006 6:52:37 AM EDT
[#49]
My wife had bad epidural experiences with the first and second deliveries. Baby #1, they apparently gave her too much and she couldn't feel or move anything from the waist down. Then they backed it down and by the time she started pushing, it was worn off and she could feel all the pain. Baby #2, she had a"wet tap", which caused her excruciating, nauseating headaches. She had to get a blood patch for that, which is basically getting blood injected into the epi site to clot and seal the spinal fluid leak. Baby #3 she went natural out of fear of having another bad epi experience and it went really well and relatively quick. I don't really think her experience is typical though, as most other women she knows have had good experience with epidurals and most recommend it. She just has to decide what she thinks is right for her, nevermind what anyone else thinks. Good luck!
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Posted: 4/3/2006 6:55:35 AM EDT
[#50]
Labor pain looks bad enough that you will be glad that you are male. According to my wife, the labor is not pleasant (especially transition phase) BUT the pushing part was not bad and my wife did VERY well. Experiencing the birth of my daughter nearly 2 years ago was the most incredible thing that i have ever experienced.
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