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Posted: 1/2/2007 9:52:35 AM EST


news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070102/od_afp/safricacaveobese_070102115418

Overweight woman stuck in South African cave

Tue Jan 2, 6:54 AM ET

CAPE TOWN (AFP) - An overweight woman got stuck in a well-known South African cave for nearly twelve hours on New Year's Day, trapping 23 others in the process.

The woman was stuck inside the "Tunnel of Love" shortly after noon and was freed with the help of liquid paraffin and a pulley around 11:30 pm (2130 GMT), said Hein Gerstner, manager of the Cango Caves in the Western Cape.

"She was really quite a large woman," he told AFP Tuesday. "She was forewarned at the ticket office and by the guide that she might have difficulty on the tour, but she insisted on going along."

Rescuers from two nearby towns and a private ambulance service were called in to help.

"We used liquid paraffin to grease the surface area and used a pulley to lift her," said Gerstner. "She was eventually carried out on a stretcher."

Twenty-three other people trapped in another tunnel behind the woman were given blankets, water, chocolate bars and ablution buckets during the rescue effort.

The group included two asthmatic children and a diabetic for whom insulin had to be brought from a nearby town, said Gerstner.

Once freed, the woman was taken to a nearby hospital for treatment, and was due to be discharged on Tuesday afternoon. None of the others came to any harm.

"We regularly have people getting stuck in the caves for an hour or so, but never anything on this scale," said Gerstner. "This was a freak. None of our guides, some of whom have been here for more than 40 years, have ever seen anything like it."
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 9:54:07 AM EST
Oh snap!

Link Posted: 1/2/2007 9:54:32 AM EST
That bitch would have moved or I'd moved her a piece at a time.
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 9:54:39 AM EST
Instead of a minimum height they need a maximum width. That is when you know you are way too fat.
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 9:55:05 AM EST
Should have greased her hips and dangled a twinkie in front of her face..She'd have scooted right out of there
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 9:55:32 AM EST
/nelson HA HA /nelson

i would hate to be the people traped behind her...
what if she let one rip? they have nowhere to go!
well , now i have sufficient motivation to go run a few miles tonight
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 9:57:02 AM EST
The thing that bothers me the most is
she wont lose weight after this.
Fat people make me sick
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 9:57:31 AM EST

Originally Posted By VoodooChile:
Should have greased her hips and dangled a twinkie in front of her face..She'd have scooted right out of there


I always take a pint of Kroil along when I go into caves with fat people.
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 9:58:18 AM EST
[Last Edit: 1/2/2007 9:58:27 AM EST by Covert8645]
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 9:58:26 AM EST

Originally Posted By Airwolf:
Twenty-three other people trapped in another tunnel behind the woman were given blankets, water, chocolate bars and ablution buckets during the rescue effort.


Did they give the stuck woman any chocolate bars?
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:00:23 AM EST
The best part is, when you click on the article, they have a generic photo of a fat British woman, although the event in the cave happened in South Africa.

It's like they're saying, "In case you haven't seen one yourself, here's a photo of a fat woman."

Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:01:18 AM EST
[Last Edit: 1/2/2007 10:02:53 AM EST by shawn21]
lmao dumb bitch would have moved after i kicked a football sized rock up her ass
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:03:20 AM EST
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:03:24 AM EST
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:04:53 AM EST
Fat women need (the tunnel of) love too.
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:05:10 AM EST
[Last Edit: 1/2/2007 10:06:04 AM EST by soccermike7]

Originally Posted By Airwolf:
"This was a freak. None of our guides, some of whom have been here for more than 40 years, have ever seen anything like it."


yes, yes she is.
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:07:27 AM EST
I did a 3 hour tour ("a threeeee hour toooour!") at Moaning Caverns in California. At one point, you have to lay on your back, tilt your head to the side (helmet light gets in the way) and "scoot" your way through a passage the guide called "the pancake squeeze". I always wondered what would happen if somebody got stuck. Now I've got kind of an idea.
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:07:47 AM EST
IBTFA
in before the fatty apologists!

And then the fat people get offended when a situation like this was forewarned.

like fat people in planes. they scoff at the idea of purchasing two tickets, or two seats.

poor people stuck behind her. i hope it wasn't in close quarters.
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:10:26 AM EST

Originally Posted By staraero:
That bitch would have moved or I'd moved her a piece at a time.


+1

Pretty much read my mind.
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:10:35 AM EST
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:11:00 AM EST

Originally Posted By Paul:
"ablution buckets"



Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:12:45 AM EST
They should have a fit check device like the airlines use for carry-on luggage. The sign should say" If your ass is bigger than this <--------> ya just can't go. " BTW the airlines should use a similar device to make fat people buy a second seat.
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:13:28 AM EST
I thought every human being in Africa was staving and a virtual skeleton, that's why we have to send them billions of taxpayer dollars every year.
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:14:31 AM EST

Originally Posted By Lucidvizion:

Originally Posted By staraero:
That bitch would have moved or I'd moved her a piece at a time.


+1

Pretty much read my mind.


+2 To hell with being stuck for 12 fricken hours. She might have come out bruised & bleeding, but her fatass would've been moved out the way.

"Everyone, on 3!"
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:14:49 AM EST
I wonder if this will give her motivation to lose weight, but I'm thinking not.
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:15:22 AM EST
I am fat.

I keep my fat ass out of caves where I would get stuck.
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:17:03 AM EST

Originally Posted By rcoers:
I wonder if this will give her motivation to lose weight, but I'm thinking not.


That little incident probably wouldn't motivate her to lost weight any more than getting my ass kicked by a sumo wrestler would motivate me to gain weight.
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:17:29 AM EST
Time for some emergency liposuction.
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:18:02 AM EST

Originally Posted By Beltfedleadhead:
The best part is, when you click on the article, they have a generic photo of a fat British woman, although the event in the cave happened in South Africa.

It's like they're saying, "In case you haven't seen one yourself, here's a photo of a fat woman."



That was the first thing I noticed
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:18:27 AM EST
[Last Edit: 1/2/2007 10:18:53 AM EST by staraero]

Originally Posted By dedfella:
I am fat.

I keep my fat ass out of caves where I would get stuck.



I know i'm way fat, but no way i'd get stuck in caves i can ride fair rides fine. HFB was she?
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:20:34 AM EST
Had to be like pulling Shamoo out of a well.
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:21:44 AM EST
maybe being stuck for 12 hours, she probably lost about 1 pound in blubber?
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:21:51 AM EST
If I ever go into a cave for any reason, it's going to have 10+ foot tall and 10+ foot wide tunnels at all times. Getting stuck in a cave has got to be the stuff of the worst nightmares. The only thing that would make it worse would be if the cave was underwater.
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:21:57 AM EST
[Last Edit: 1/2/2007 10:24:49 AM EST by Hokie]
Oh man, I'm so glad I wasn't stuck in that cave. I'd have completely freaked out, yelled alot, and started ramming her with my shoulder from 10 feet back.

I don't do well when trapped behind obese women in confined spaces. Reminds me of a bad experience in college.

This is why roller coasters have height requirements and why caves should have width requirements.
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:22:12 AM EST
WTF!!!
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:23:58 AM EST

Originally Posted By Hokie:
Oh man, I'm so glad I wasn't stuck in that cave. I'd have completely freaked out, yelled alot, called her a bunch of names, and started ramming her with my shoulder from 10 feet back.
I don't do well when trapped behind fat people.

This is why roller coasters have height requirements and why caves should have width requirements.


I'd pay to see that. Really, I would!
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:24:04 AM EST
Ya, I'm going to hell, but...


...she was in there for 12 hours. Any chance she got hungry and asked for a bite?



Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:25:23 AM EST
[Last Edit: 1/2/2007 10:26:43 AM EST by Hokie]

Originally Posted By Dilbert_556:

Originally Posted By Hokie:
Oh man, I'm so glad I wasn't stuck in that cave. I'd have completely freaked out, yelled alot, and started ramming her with my shoulder from 10 feet back.

I don't do well when trapped behind obese women in confined spaces. Reminds me of a bad experience in college.

This is why roller coasters have height requirements and why caves should have width requirements.


I'd pay to see that. Really, I would!


It'd be the expression on my face that'd be worth the money!
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:26:05 AM EST
I don't know how much you'd have to pay me to get me into a cave where I had even a remote possibility of being stuck. That's one of my big fears, being stuck and unable to move, powerless and maybe doomed to die there.
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:26:29 AM EST

Originally Posted By SubnetMask:
Ya, I'm going to hell, but...


...she was in there for 12 hours. Any chance she got hungry and asked for a bite?





I would say too bad! Or do like someone else said and dangle the food in front of her. Just hold one of those chocolate bars a few feet from her face the whole time.
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:27:43 AM EST

Originally Posted By SubnetMask:
Ya, I'm going to hell, but...


...she was in there for 12 hours. Any chance she got hungry and asked for a bite?





that'd be the point where I'd snap.
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:31:18 AM EST

Originally Posted By CZ75_9MM:

Originally Posted By SubnetMask:
Ya, I'm going to hell, but...


...she was in there for 12 hours. Any chance she got hungry and asked for a bite?





I would say too bad! Or do like someone else said and dangle the food in front of her. Just hold one of those chocolate bars a few feet from her face the whole time.

If that happened I would make sure to remind her that her fatass is the reason we were stuck there and then tell her how good the candy bars were
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:33:24 AM EST
Just a bit of background...that cave isn't like ANY commercial cave you might have been to here in the US. No sidewalks and colored lights

Unfortunately, the guide should have looked at the woman before the tour and known she was too big. He (or she) failed to do that
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:33:25 AM EST
"Hey Bob - I flip ya to see which one of us has to lube-up the fat cow".
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:34:44 AM EST

Originally Posted By VACaver:
Just a bit of background...that cave isn't like ANY commercial cave you might have been to here in the US. No sidewalks and colored lights

Unfortunately, the guide should have looked at the woman before the tour and known she was too big. He (or she) failed to do that


He probably did...which is why he ended up on the OUTSIDE of the cave.
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:36:48 AM EST

Originally Posted By VACaver:
Just a bit of background...that cave isn't like ANY commercial cave you might have been to here in the US. No sidewalks and colored lights


The cave I went in had all that for the "regular" tour, but for $75 (IIRC, it's been a while) you got to suit up, rappel down into the cavern (couple hundred feet, at least) and spend the next 3 hours crawling around in little passages gettin' muddy.

The only light we had were our collective helmet lights. It was fun.
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:38:13 AM EST

Originally Posted By Primos:
IBTFA
in before the fatty apologists!

And then the fat people get offended when a situation like this was forewarned.

like fat people in planes. they scoff at the idea of purchasing two tickets, or two seats.



There's another side to that. I'm 6ft 4, and they won't let me buy two seats (mine and the one in front of me).
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:39:52 AM EST

Originally Posted By Maxwell71:
Fat people make me sick


Oh brother...

Don't ever go to an Arfcom shoot then.
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:41:17 AM EST

Originally Posted By Procyon:
I thought every human being in Africa was staving and a virtual skeleton, that's why we have to send them billions of taxpayer dollars every year.


must've been sally struthers.
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:41:35 AM EST

Originally Posted By operatorerror:

Originally Posted By Maxwell71:
Fat people make me sick


Oh brother...

Don't ever go to an Arfcom shoot then.


+1. Know what I noticed? In person at a shoot, there are some skinny folks, some real fat folks, and a bunch of folks in between. Nobody gives anybody shit about anything IN PERSON. Yet somehow over the internet...
Link Posted: 1/2/2007 10:46:55 AM EST
[Last Edit: 1/2/2007 10:48:57 AM EST by bluefalcon]

Originally Posted By CZ75_9MM:
Time for some emergency liposuction.


slit her open like a fuckin' ton-ton.


hell, i wanna know how she got in there in the first place. what, did she eat a whole hog while she was inside?
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