[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Embarassing problem...ARFdocs? (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 1/11/2009 1:00:37 AM EDT
|
There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just come out and say it: I haven't crapped for weeks. I tried everything.
A little background: I'm in the IDF, and right now is a pretty crazy time as you could imagine. I'm not in Gaza, but I'm stationed in the North and there are constant alerts (running to put on flakjacket, vest, helmet etc) multiple times a day. I do ambushes, static guarding, and vehicle patrols, which means that when "the feeling" comes, it's not exactly possible to "go". I've always had a problem with this, not really wanting to crap in the woods. When you're static, it could be 30 minutes before someone comes to switch you so you can "go", assuming that you still need to when they get there. So that means pulling down the pants and crapping in a plastic bag...real professional like. Anyway, you get the idea. Basically I would go about once a week, but at least I would get the feeling. Lately I haven't even been getting the feeling at all. I tried changing diet, drinking more water, laxitives (produced "water"), suppositories (a couple pebbles, nothing serious), and an *gasp* enema (I told you I was fucking serious right? That was a last resort). The enema was the last option. It produced some pebbles and a bit of liquid shit but I still feel stuffed up as all hell. Plus I don't get the feeling to go. I'm trying to drop a bowl buster. The kind of thing that makes people gasp and say "THAT!? Came out of YOU!?". Doing the math, say 15 days worth of food is up there, that's about 45 meals. 45 MEALS for fuck sake. This should come out looking like frankenstein's shit monster. But he's not even fiddling with the lock, let alone trying to break out of his cave-prison like a rabid wolverine as one would expect. Now it doesn't hurt, but I feel...uh..."heavy". A bit bulged up, but it's not serious pain. Anybody have any advice? Our food options are pretty limited. I've cut out milk products entirely, and cut down on meat. Basically my plate is a salad and fruit orgy. I've really run out of solutions here. ARFcom docs, please help save my ass so I can get back to work! |
|
Wait, wait...45 MREs? You just might never shit again.
Is there a doc on post? Go see the doc. eta If you have done an enema and still no poop, you're either doing it wrong or you are already dead. A properly administered enema works. Period. (No I've never had one but I have been present for the results a few times. I once had a patient who had really bad breath, hadn't crapped in weeks, had a very hard and distended abdomen then started throwing up...poop. Don't be that guy. |
|
Quoted:
Wait, wait...45 MREs? You just might never shit again. Is there a doc on post? Go see the doc. eta If you have done an enema and still no poop, you're either doing it wrong or you are already dead. A properly administered enema works. Period. (No I've never had one but I have been present for the results a few times. I once had a patient who had really bad breath, hadn't crapped in weeks, had a very hard and distended abdomen then started throwing up...poop. Don't be that guy. Oh I wish we had MRE's mate. We have these things called "manot krav" which are basically canned tuna, peanuts, chocolate spread, olives, or pickles all in a cardboard box. MREs would be a luxury...these things don't even have crackers in them. The enema produced some pebbles and liquid shit but I feel like I've still got something in there. I'm trying to get it all out. My abdomen has always been slightly distended, which is weird as an ex-bodybuilder. The second that I tense my abs it sucks in and looks fine. Then I let go and it's quite distended. This is a normal condition for me. How long had it been since that poor guy crapped? |
|
Quoted:
If you've not had a bowel movement in "weeks", you need to go see the doc, now. ETA: Right now, stop reading this and go! It's moved a bit, just not as much as I would expect. I didn't produce a bowlbreaker, just some peanuts and liquid, that's the issue. I can pass occasionally finger-sized things but I think that these have hardened and are blocking the monster. I have a call into our medic, he's calling me back. This would be the second time I've gone to the doctor. The doc gave me liquid paraffin and the suppositories, which produced a little bit and the enema produced more, so it's not like nothing's moved "at all", but I still think there might be a blockage. I'll go to the doctor as soon as I find out where/when to go. Here things work much differently in the states. There's a military doctor in each major city that you go to if you've already received "sick days". That's why I'm posting at all, otherwise I'd still be on base. The doctors don't seem to think this is some crazy situation though. |
| its not abnormal for me to go a week without a bowel movement, i get stressed easily and my diet is fast food, and i dont drink alot of water. i went to the doc and he said it was normal for some people to go a week without a bowel movement but told me to take some fiber and drinks lots of water and it should help a little. but going weeks i dont know, i would see a doc about that ASAFP |
|
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Get a lover with a smaller dick. You make yourself out to be a fucking idiot with this post. It seems to me that a bigger dick would pack it tighter, but since your the expert, you explain it. Ok, IMO only a latent homosexual would interpret a soldier's request for help with a regularity problem into an alliteration towards his "supposed" homosexuality. YOU seem a little preoccupied, and not every post in GD demands a tastless comment such as yours. |
|
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Get a lover with a smaller dick. You make yourself out to be a fucking idiot with this post. It seems to me that a bigger dick would pack it tighter, but since you're the expert, you explain it.  You might want to re-think calling Clean a troll. 
|
|
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Get a lover with a smaller dick. You make yourself out to be a fucking idiot with this post. It seems to me that a bigger dick would pack it tighter, but since you're the expert, you explain it. You might want to re-think calling Clean a troll. Called it as it was. |
|
Quoted:
Quoted:
You might want to "prepare" the area with some kind of lube when you feel mother nature about to respond with vengeance. "This might be a record." Just about as gay as the "get a lover with a smaller dick" reply.  Not trying to be gay, just if and when you get ready to give birth to this monster, there may be some discomfort - my last comment wasn't meant to be rude. That's probably what I get for posting in a poop thread - I'm not a doc. Good luck. |
|
Quoted:
You are what we call in the medical field F.O.S. Full of S**t You may need an enima and need to see a Doctor or Nurse to help you with this. Heard all the jokes. :) Did the enema. Solved some of the problem, but I've got some questions about continuing the use of that until it becomes regular. I guess I'll save that for the doctor (hopefully today), unless somebody knows. Is it normal for an enema to knock out only part of "bore obstruction", and the patient requires a second enema to get it all out? Or should one do the job completely? |
|
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
You might want to "prepare" the area with some kind of lube when you feel mother nature about to respond with vengeance. "This might be a record." Just about as gay as the "get a lover with a smaller dick" reply. Not trying to be gay, just if and when you get ready to give birth to this monster, there may be some discomfort - my last comment wasn't meant to be rude. That's probably what I get for posting in a poop thread - I'm not a doc. Good luck. I was just joking man, don't be put off. Shit threads are always humorous. :) It is sound advice. I didn't mean to come off as unappreciative. |
|
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
You might want to "prepare" the area with some kind of lube when you feel mother nature about to respond with vengeance. "This might be a record." Just about as gay as the "get a lover with a smaller dick" reply. Not trying to be gay, just if and when you get ready to give birth to this monster, there may be some discomfort - my last comment wasn't meant to be rude. That's probably what I get for posting in a poop thread - I'm not a doc. Good luck. I was just joking man, don't be put off. Shit threads are always humorous. :) It is sound advice. I didn't mean to come off as unappreciative. No worries, I didn't take it that way at all. Uncomfortable situation I'm sure. Best advice would be to see the doc asap and go from there. Again, good luck. |
|
Quoted:
see a doctor before you have a rupture and die of sepsis. why do people seek medical advice on gun boards? Saw the doc already and I'm going again today. I'm asking here to see if other people have had similar experiences. This obviously isn't the beginning and end of seeking medical treatment. |
|
You save some serious cash on TP.
3 times a day to once every 3 days. That's what the docs told me was the "normal" range of frequency while in the USA. Get a colonoscopy. First, to confirm there is nothing seriously wrong, 2nd, to clear the "log jam" with the [wtf was the name of the Israeli nuke site?] laxatives they'll give you to clear the way for the recto-cam. |
|
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
You might want to "prepare" the area with some kind of lube when you feel mother nature about to respond with vengeance. "This might be a record." Just about as gay as the "get a lover with a smaller dick" reply. Not trying to be gay, just if and when you get ready to give birth to this monster, there may be some discomfort - my last comment wasn't meant to be rude. That's probably what I get for posting in a poop thread - I'm not a doc. Good luck. I was just joking man, don't be put off. Shit threads are always humorous. :) It is sound advice. I didn't mean to come off as unappreciative. Look, the issue is that you could have a problem in your innerds, blockage or other terrible things. When I get backed up, (I like milk and cheese too much  ) what I do is take Fibercon laxative.... fiber capsules. You have to swallow 3 horse pills QUICKLY, with lots of water... and the fiber expands. Sort of like 3x expanding foam  This in turn pushes the shit out I guess. It works, but if you have a bowel obstruction, you could end up with a blow out... and I don't mean goatse style, I'm talking out the side. Then you get sepsis, toxic shock, etc. If you were to get treatment in time, they have to remove all your innerds and clean it all off with Engine Brite foaming cleaner. It's not good, happened to my old man, don't fuck around bro. Seriously. Good luck, I hope you shit shortly.
|
|
Quoted:
Quoted:
You are what we call in the medical field F.O.S. Full of S**t You may need an enima and need to see a Doctor or Nurse to help you with this. Heard all the jokes. :) Did the enema. Solved some of the problem, but I've got some questions about continuing the use of that until it becomes regular. I guess I'll save that for the doctor (hopefully today), unless somebody knows. Is it normal for an enema to knock out only part of "bore obstruction", and the patient requires a second enema to get it all out? Or should one do the job completely? One will fix it most of the time and a 2nd one wont hurt. If you try a laxative make sure you take it off duty only. I have seen a little old lady (l.o.l.) that put a coat of brown all over her bathroom because of a laxative. She was so scared about what happened she called 911. I never knew a l.o.l. could contain that much poo to cover a bath room like she did. EDIT P.S Take care and God bless the IDF |
|
Quoted:
You save some serious cash on TP. 3 times a day to once every 3 days. That's what they told me in the USA. Get a colonoscopy. First, to confirm there is nothing seriously wrong, 2nd, to clear the "log jam" with the [wtf was the name of the Israeli nuke site?] laxatives they'll give you to clear the way for the recto-cam. They do have some Mega Massive Ass Blast for pre-colonoscopy! That's good thinking. Might want to just ask for the industrial strength and spend the day in the infirmary. You will lose every content. For certain! |
