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Posted: 12/25/2003 11:53:14 AM EDT
Okay, today to avoid the family I decided to go on the computer and listen to music and check out this site. All of a sudden I hear

Mom: Mmanwitgun are you okay?
Me: I'm fine
Mom: What are you doing?
Me: On the computer...
Mom: Your not watching anything bad are you?
Me: What do you mean?
Mom: You know....stuff thats not good...
Me: Mom, I'm not, don't worry.
(5 mins of silence)
Mom: You know Mmanwitgun, porn is very addictive
Me: Mom I'm not watching porn
Mom: It infects your brain
Me: Mom I'm not......
Mom: Your uncle is addicted and has to go to strip clubs...
Me: I'm not watching porn and I don't want to argue on christmas, leave and have fun with the rest of the family.
Mom: Okay, but remember...
Me: I"M NOT WATCHING PORN

Cripes, I got caught with nudie mags twice years ago and its still haunting me to this very day. I even still have the note she wrote me the second time.


Link Posted: 12/25/2003 11:56:54 AM EDT
Damn that's lame. One guy I know his mom bought him the subscription to playboy. That was cool. So is she. She posted here once!
Link Posted: 12/25/2003 11:57:00 AM EDT
Once a porn user always a porn user. You know you want it...your Mom's away. It's just a click away. Psst...go to Full-Auto.com BOTD or PRe-ban BOTD...they got some really good pics now, come on...
Link Posted: 12/25/2003 11:59:39 AM EDT
Seriously, your mom sounds nice. It's going to be a long while for you to live that down, though. Like living down a negligent discharge while handling a gun.
Link Posted: 12/25/2003 12:01:01 PM EDT
I know...I have the same problem...which is why I go with your Uncle to strip clubs
Link Posted: 12/25/2003 12:19:19 PM EDT
Clean Cut, your hilarious, but my mom didn't even catch me in the act on solo [sex] she just found the magazines. As for her sounding like a nice mom, she is, I could drop out of college and she would probably say "at least you tried", but when it comes to girls and porn I hear the following things numerous times a week You need a better car to get girls... Girls don't like men who watch porn... Girls don't like men with tattoos... Porn is evil and ruins lives... You need a girl... Wheres your soul going?... Do you want to die alone?.... When I do have a girlfriend my mom pretends I don't and just tells my sisters Mmanwitgun's girlfriend isn't good enough for him. Of course I usually meet girls who like my tattoos, watch porn and beg me to take them to strip clubs.
Link Posted: 12/25/2003 12:22:36 PM EDT
Your Mom wants you to meet a nice girl. Didn't you see those pics I posted in the Wacky Baptists thread? [:D]
Link Posted: 12/25/2003 12:24:22 PM EDT
how old are you?
Link Posted: 12/25/2003 12:29:41 PM EDT
If you'd shave your palms more frequently, your mom wouldn't be so suspicious.
Link Posted: 12/25/2003 12:32:12 PM EDT
You mean the pics at the church gathering with the BBQ in the background?. I vaguely remember, but my age groups a little lower, would post a pic, but I can't host it and I think a booty in tight jeans could get this locked.
Link Posted: 12/25/2003 12:36:53 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Mmanwitgun: You mean the pics at the church gathering with the BBQ in the background?. I vaguely remember, but my age groups a little lower, would post a pic, but I can't host it and I think a booty in tight jeans could get this locked.
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Not that one. This one. The girls in my church come in all ages...and they are HOT. [url]http://www.jobrelatedstuff.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=5&t=220206&w=myTopicPop[/url]
Link Posted: 12/25/2003 12:49:29 PM EDT
Originally Posted By 1911greg: how old are you?
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He's 37 years old.
Link Posted: 12/25/2003 1:03:16 PM EDT
Originally Posted By clean_cut:
Originally Posted By 1911greg: how old are you?
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He's 37 years old.
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Don't listen to clean cut, I'm only 20
Link Posted: 12/25/2003 1:52:02 PM EDT
[bullhorn]Take your hands off the joystick and step away from the computer... slowly!!![/bullhorn]
Link Posted: 12/25/2003 1:52:45 PM EDT
Thanks for the reminder to head over to BOTD on the other boards! [}:D]
Link Posted: 12/25/2003 4:46:52 PM EDT
You know....she caught me. There was a GLAMOUR magazing laying there....
Link Posted: 12/25/2003 4:55:09 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Mmanwitgun: Mom: Your uncle is addicted and has to go to strip clubs...
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[ROFL2] - N20
Link Posted: 12/25/2003 5:02:00 PM EDT
Originally Posted By heavily_armed: You know....she caught me. There was a GLAMOUR magazing laying there....
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HOLY SHIT!! GLAMOUR!![shock] Your going to hell son.... but, at lest you'll look good when you get there.[:I]
Link Posted: 12/25/2003 5:48:34 PM EDT
She is just looking out for you and giving some last minute advice before you move out.
Link Posted: 12/25/2003 6:16:51 PM EDT
Originally Posted By clean_cut:
Originally Posted By 1911greg: how old are you?
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He's 37 years old.
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[lol]
Link Posted: 12/25/2003 7:26:04 PM EDT
My mom confiscated my porn when I was about 15. But funny thing, she didn't throw it out. My dad and her used to watch it instead. I guess I had good taste in porn even then.
Link Posted: 12/25/2003 8:15:40 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Yankee1911: If you'd shave your palms more frequently, your mom wouldn't be so suspicious.
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or just braid it like i do[%|]
Link Posted: 12/25/2003 8:26:56 PM EDT
Mmanwitgun will from this point on will always be known as "the porn addicted guy".
Link Posted: 12/25/2003 9:24:30 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Notorious:
Originally Posted By heavily_armed: You know....she caught me. There was a GLAMOUR magazing laying there....
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HOLY SHIT!! GLAMOUR!![shock] Your going to hell son.... but, at lest you'll look good when you get there.[:I]
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His birth name is George C.?, better known to the ladies as 'BuckNekid'
Link Posted: 12/25/2003 10:17:58 PM EDT
is your mom hot? TXL
Link Posted: 12/25/2003 10:28:13 PM EDT
Originally Posted By TxLewis: is your mom hot? TXL
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Hey! Jeez guys, it's his [i]Mom[/i]!! So?....... Is she? [;)]
Link Posted: 12/26/2003 4:03:03 AM EDT
Honest answer: "Yes, Mom, I'm looking at porn"
Link Posted: 12/26/2003 5:14:41 AM EDT
How does she expect you to wank efficiently without porn?
Link Posted: 12/26/2003 5:41:03 AM EDT
Hmm so many comments, let me try to respond Heavily Armed, Glamour? WTF maybe you beat it to scantily clad models when you were younger (your mom was complaining about her magazine pages sticking together), but not me, need nude stuff, not artsy nude either, I'm talking trashy stuff. P806, HA I will not be known as the porn guy since I have no picture so people won't remember me TxLewis, I don't think my moms hot, but if you have a thing for nearly senior citizen ladies swing by CT and take a look. Phil A Steen, no saying I was looking at porn would not be an honest answer, had she caught me 10 hours later though.... ~The porn addicted guy
Link Posted: 12/26/2003 7:45:30 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Mmanwitgun: Glamour? WTF ..... ~The porn addicted guy
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Sienfeld episode reference. George's mother caught him whacking off to her Glamour magazine.
Link Posted: 12/26/2003 9:34:08 AM EDT
How could he be looking at porn on the internet......I thought that stuff made you go blind?
Link Posted: 12/26/2003 2:23:31 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/26/2003 2:37:20 PM EDT by TimJ]
if you go blind you won't be able to surf here. Want to cure a sex addiction? Get married. LOL
Link Posted: 12/26/2003 3:42:46 PM EDT
Originally Posted By GoVol98: How could he be looking at porn on the internet......I thought that stuff made you go blind?
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I quit when I needed glasses.
Link Posted: 12/26/2003 4:08:32 PM EDT
Originally Posted By parshooter:
Originally Posted By Mmanwitgun: Glamour? WTF ..... ~The porn addicted guy
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Sienfeld episode reference. George's mother caught him whacking off to her Glamour magazine.
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Ohh god if that was my mom I would probably shoot myself out of guilt. One of the notes my mom wrote me before was bad enough, all my friends laugh when they read it. What can I say hard core roman catholic moms just don't appove of the one man [naughty]
Link Posted: 12/26/2003 4:15:07 PM EDT
Girls don't like men who watch porn...
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I hear ya....I don't know too many women that don't like porn of some kind.
Link Posted: 12/26/2003 5:07:43 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Yankee1911: If you'd shave your palms more frequently, your mom wouldn't be so suspicious.
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That wasn't what tipped her off. In the last 3 years he's gone from 20/20 to being able to be claimed as legally blind on a Form 1040. [8D]
Link Posted: 12/26/2003 5:53:18 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Mmanwitgun:
Originally Posted By clean_cut:
Originally Posted By 1911greg: how old are you?
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He's 37 years old.
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Don't listen to clean cut, I'm only 20
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lol jeez.. i'm 14 and my mom hardly cares about me looking at porn.. sometimes we even joke about it, like i'll take my neutrogena handcream and put little globs of it on the back of my hand and i'll go around her, and she'll be like denny.... what's that?? and i'm like oooooops! i forgot to wash my hands off after i was done.
Link Posted: 12/26/2003 6:03:35 PM EDT
Mom:"Son, if you masturbate, you'll go blind!" Son:"Mom, I'm over here."
Link Posted: 12/26/2003 6:16:06 PM EDT
that's such bs, masturbating doesn't 'cause any health problems, ie. blindness
Link Posted: 12/26/2003 6:51:56 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Fez: lol jeez.. i'm 14 and my mom hardly cares about me looking at porn.. sometimes we even joke about it, like i'll take my neutrogena handcream and put little globs of it on the back of my hand and i'll go around her, and she'll be like denny.... what's that?? and i'm like oooooops! i forgot to wash my hands off after i was done.
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This is really far more information than we need.
Link Posted: 12/26/2003 7:46:37 PM EDT
At least you didn't forget to take the Debbie Does Dallas video out of the VCR.
Link Posted: 12/26/2003 7:51:55 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Fez: lol jeez.. i'm 14 and my mom hardly cares about me looking at porn.. sometimes we even joke about it, like i'll take my neutrogena handcream and put little globs of it on the back of my hand and i'll go around her, and she'll be like denny.... what's that?? and i'm like oooooops! i forgot to wash my hands off after i was done.
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Thats just really messed up, if you were my son I'd smack you. Every parent can assume their kid beats the meat, but openly joking about it with them is just weird.
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 8:05:47 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Mmanwitgun:
Originally Posted By Fez: lol jeez.. i'm 14 and my mom hardly cares about me looking at porn.. sometimes we even joke about it, like i'll take my neutrogena handcream and put little globs of it on the back of my hand and i'll go around her, and she'll be like denny.... what's that?? and i'm like oooooops! i forgot to wash my hands off after i was done.
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Thats just really messed up, if you were my son I'd smack you. Every parent can assume their kid beats the meat, but openly joking about it with them is just weird.
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::shrugs::
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 8:52:01 AM EDT
Don't worry, there is always touch typing and voice-assisted websurfing. [LOL]
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