Does marriage make a womans butt explode?

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Does marriage make a womans butt explode? (Page 1 of 3)

Posted: 10/11/2005 3:00:59 PM EDT

It sure made my wife's @ss expand x3 over the years and then there's her friend Suzie. She just got married about four months ago. When she was single and while she was engaged she had a @ss that was worthy of framing and now,.........,<sighs>..................

Posted: 10/11/2005 3:01:35 PM EDT

[#1]

this is gonna be good.

Posted: 10/11/2005 3:04:57 PM EDT

[#2]

I think you mean "butt" with two "T"'s.

I've heard that putting a ring on a woman's finger is like pulling the lanyard on a life raft: PFFFFFFFFT!

As soon as I married my ex, she quit her job, cut her hair, and gained twenty pounds.

Posted: 10/11/2005 3:05:21 PM EDT

[#3]

Its called D.W.S.-Dependent Wife Syndrom. Very prevelent in the military.

Posted: 10/11/2005 3:05:44 PM EDT

[#4]

You speak of the topic that shall not be mentioned.

Time to hide.

Posted: 10/11/2005 3:05:51 PM EDT

[#5]

Butt and or gut.

Posted: 10/11/2005 3:07:37 PM EDT

[#6]

Maybe you're bad in the sack and she's trying to make herself unattractive to you?

Posted: 10/11/2005 3:09:24 PM EDT

[#7]

Quoted:
I've heard that putting a ring on a woman's finger is like pulling the lanyard on a life raft: PFFFFFFFFT!

So it's not just me......

Posted: 10/11/2005 3:10:13 PM EDT

[#8]

My ife is about 5 lbs heavier than when we met 20 years ago. ( 5'7" 115# )

Posted: 10/11/2005 3:10:36 PM EDT

[#9]

It also shuts their cooter off. Or something........

Posted: 10/11/2005 3:11:13 PM EDT

[#10]

Some say one bite of wedding cakes sucks thier desire for sex out of thier soul.

Posted: 10/11/2005 3:20:11 PM EDT

[#11]

Quoted:
Some say one bite of wedding cakes sucks thier desire for sex out of thier soul.

Oh no, she still wants sex when she doesn't have something going on with her thyroid or something. About once a every other month or so she'll squeeze into some lingerie that would otherwise look sexy and........ and......... well you don't want to know really.

Don't get me wrong, I still love my wife but damn........

Posted: 10/11/2005 3:21:05 PM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:
now,.........,<sighs>..................

Then she was shoved ass first down a chimney?

Posted: 10/11/2005 3:25:16 PM EDT

[#13]

Quoted:
I think you mean "butt" with two "T"'s.

I've heard that putting a ring on a woman's finger is like pulling the lanyard on a life raft: PFFFFFFFFT!

As soon as I married my ex, she quit her job, cut her hair, and gained twenty pounds.

LOL!

And severely cut back on the oral gratification!

Posted: 10/11/2005 3:28:15 PM EDT

[#14]

Yet another reason to never get married.

Posted: 10/11/2005 3:28:22 PM EDT

[#15]

After 5 years of marriage my friend's wife wanted bigger boobs and he suggested she wipe toliet paper between her breast and she asked how that would make her boobs bigger. He said he didn't know but it sure worked on her a$$.

Posted: 10/11/2005 3:29:34 PM EDT

[#16]

No more so than Marriage makes a man's gut grow.
Get over yourself, Skippy.

Posted: 10/11/2005 3:31:00 PM EDT

[#17]

NO!

Married 16+ years. Out of respect for ourselves and each other we refuse to turn into fat bastards. Love our beer, love our food, but exercise daily to keep it in shape. She is 41, produced two great children, and I can still bounce a quarter off her ass!

Posted: 10/11/2005 3:31:11 PM EDT

[#18]

Quoted:
After 5 years of marriage my friend's wife wanted bigger boobs and he suggested she wipe toliet paper between her breast and she asked how that would make her boobs bigger. He said he didn't know but it sure worked on her a$$.

Posted: 10/11/2005 3:31:24 PM EDT

[#19]

Wait till they have children.

Posted: 10/11/2005 3:32:02 PM EDT

[#20]

If you think about it this is just more proof that there is no god. If there was who made man in his own image, then when we got married our wives boobs would grow instead of their butts.

How'd that be...........

Posted: 10/11/2005 3:35:38 PM EDT

[#21]

Mrs. FLAL1A has blimped up like nobody's business. She must have put on 3, maybe 4 ounces since I married her 22+ years ago. I guess they just go on a lifelong feeding frenzy once they're hitched.

I don't think I'd complain if she picked up 5 - 8 lbs. of ass.

Posted: 10/11/2005 3:40:02 PM EDT

[#22]

tag
wifes awake

Posted: 10/11/2005 3:41:15 PM EDT

[#23]

Only if she takes a ton of laxatives ...

Posted: 10/11/2005 3:41:55 PM EDT

[#24]

marriage=mega sized posterier

Posted: 10/11/2005 3:42:57 PM EDT

[#25]

Welcome to marriage. I swear Mrs Pony loves Blue Bell Ice Cream more than she loves me...and I'm about to let Blue Bell have her too

Posted: 10/11/2005 3:46:52 PM EDT

[#26]

Quoted:
After 5 years of marriage my friend's wife wanted bigger boobs and he suggested she wipe toliet paper between her breast and she asked how that would make her boobs bigger. He said he didn't know but it sure worked on her a$$.

we need pics of the friend to decide

Posted: 10/11/2005 3:48:04 PM EDT

[#27]

I know a girl who got married and has had two kids in the past three years, and that wonderful athletic body is now distinctly pudgy from head to toe. It's a shame to watch it happen.

CJ

Posted: 10/11/2005 3:51:07 PM EDT

[#28]

Actually my wife's ass shrunk. She loses 10 pounds after having a kid. 8 more and she'll be a super model.

Posted: 10/11/2005 3:52:38 PM EDT

[#29]

My wife's butt (whole body) is worthy of a trophy!

We've been married 11 years and I still get a
chubby just thinking about her. She's 40, but she has the body of a 25 year old. She's at the gym
5 day per week, 2 hours per day. TIGHT!

Posted: 10/11/2005 3:54:28 PM EDT

[#30]

I dunno, but Taco Bell sure makes my butt explode.

Posted: 10/11/2005 3:55:36 PM EDT

[#31]

thank god we have these threads so i wont want to get married

Posted: 10/11/2005 4:17:28 PM EDT

[#32]

Quoted:
Quoted:
I think you mean "butt" with two "T"'s.

I've heard that putting a ring on a woman's finger is like pulling the lanyard on a life raft: PFFFFFFFFT!

As soon as I married my ex, she quit her job, cut her hair, and gained twenty pounds.

LOL!

And severely cut back on the oral gratification!

nomarriage.com/marriedsex.html

I can remember my last blowjob like it was yesterday. Actually it was six years ago the day before I got married. Sex then was four to five times a week. Now I have a four year old son who sleeps in my bed with my wife more nights a week than I do. Sex now maybe once a month. Triple that for vacation sex. I have noticed that the rate goes up for a short period of time but drops off quickly when large purchases are made (house, Landrover, shopping sprees, new floors, etc). I am thirty eight, not happy, and slowly methodically plotting my way out. I always love the look in the eyes of my friends who say that won't happen to them.

My wife reached a point where she only uses sex to get something, and she doesn't happen to want anything at the moment.

My GF was damn good to me, in and out of the sack. We probably had sex, on average, 10-15 times a week. Anywhere and everywhere. Even a once a day BJ on average. Things were great.

That was, until we got married. A day later, everything had changed. Got it once on the honeymoon, and she told me to "hurry up and finish". When I ask her why she never initiates anything, never even flirts anymore, when she used to before, she says "I was trying to get you to marry me then".

I walked into a large bedroom when my wife was changing into her outfit to get on the plane to start our honeymoon, admired her gorgeous half-naked figure with a 'you wanna knock one out right here and now' look on my face, and she said, "Oh, no. None of that nonsense. We're married now." I mean she changed *instantly* from this funny happy woman into this scheming bitch who just had plans to buy and redecorate a big house and throw parties in it with my money.

Posted: 10/11/2005 4:20:51 PM EDT

[#33]

Marriage doesn't do it - not caring about one's appearance does. But then again - judging from oft-posted range photos on this board - just a many men have joined the Big Gut, Flaccid Butt crew.

CWO

Posted: 10/11/2005 4:22:58 PM EDT

[#34]

My wife lost weight since we were married, she was about 115 then & about 108 now at 5' 3".

Posted: 10/11/2005 4:23:12 PM EDT

[#35]

I think it's a combination of a wedding band and wedding cake myself.

Danny

Posted: 10/11/2005 4:27:47 PM EDT

[#36]

My wife's gained about 2 pounds in the last 11 years. She still gets carded!

I've gained and lost more than her whole body weight x10 over the same time span. Good bthing my kids are on the kind end of the gene pool.

Posted: 10/11/2005 4:32:13 PM EDT

[#37]

It's all in the jeans

er... jenes. My wife is one of the few fortunates that is lighter now than when she married me. She is so small our new doctor in our new town asked if she had an eating disorder. Actually, she eats as much as me I told him. Of her five sisters, the "fat" ones in her family are what most would call normal.

ETA: 118 lbs at 5'9". 123 when I married her. 165 lbs max when pregant (and no stretch marks

).

Kent

Posted: 10/11/2005 5:34:20 PM EDT

[#38]

Quoted:
It sure made my wife's @ss expand x3 over the years and then there's her friend Suzie. She just got married about four months ago. When she was single and while she was engaged she had a @ss that was worthy of framing and now,.........,<sighs>..................

Would that be two or three axe handles wide?

Posted: 10/11/2005 5:38:24 PM EDT

[#39]

Anyone know why brides are always smiling when they walk down the aisle?
Because they know they have given their last blowjob!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: 10/11/2005 5:47:09 PM EDT

[#40]

Man...This hit close to home.

I married a size 6 and now she's a size 12 and still growing.

Not what I expected at all.

Posted: 10/11/2005 5:49:49 PM EDT

[#41]

What?!?!?!

2 pages and no pics!!!

Travis

Posted: 10/11/2005 5:55:25 PM EDT

[#42]

A guy at work said that his wife went from "Girls Gone Wild" to "Girls Gone WIDE" almost immediately after marriage.

Posted: 10/11/2005 5:57:30 PM EDT

[#43]

Quoted:
A guy at work said that his wife went from "Girls Gone Wild" to "Girls Gone WIDE" almost immediately after marriage.

LMAO

What a sad thread...

Posted: 10/11/2005 5:57:56 PM EDT

[#44]

I'll take one for the team, and find out. I'm getting married next Friday

Posted: 10/11/2005 6:02:33 PM EDT

[#45]

Quoted:
NO!

Married 16+ years. Out of respect for ourselves and each other we refuse to turn into fat bastards. Love our beer, love our food, but exercise daily to keep it in shape. She is 41, produced two great children, and I can still bounce a quarter off her ass!

+1

Neither hubby or I have turned into fat bastards (+11 years married).

Posted: 10/11/2005 6:04:59 PM EDT

[#46]

We could end world hunger tomorrow ....

All you'd have to do is air drop wedding cake over these starving countries and voila'....one bite should be good for an extra 50-60+ lbs.

Posted: 10/11/2005 6:41:18 PM EDT

[#47]

Ooops, never mind...

Posted: 10/11/2005 6:45:04 PM EDT

[#48]

Quoted:
Quoted:
now,.........,<sighs>..................

Then she was shoved ass first down a chimney?

Posted: 10/11/2005 6:47:11 PM EDT

[#49]

My wifes plumped up a bit. Actually quite nicely.

Posted: 10/11/2005 6:51:28 PM EDT

[#50]

That sucks.
My wife gained some weight, but she has had three kids.
With two toddlers in the house and me working, getting to the gym is tough for her butt she does fine.
5'2" 115.
I'll keep her.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Does marriage make a womans butt explode? (Page 1 of 3)

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