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Posted: 2/12/2007 12:29:06 AM EDT
[#1]
Sig line, ripe for the picking. |
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Posted: 2/12/2007 12:31:39 AM EDT
[#2]
You got a prostate massage and some drugs out of the deal and didn't even have to buy him dinner. What's the problem again?
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Posted: 2/12/2007 12:33:25 AM EDT
[#3]
Man, if I were you I'd see about getting a new dentist. That's totaly un called for.
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Posted: 2/12/2007 12:36:43 AM EDT
[#4]
Heh, you got a visit from Dr Jellyfinger!!! hey, in some cultures you two are considered married!!!
In all seriousness though, people make a bigger deal than it needs to be. You will be sedated, next thing you know, you wake up and it's all done. Here is to hoping you just have roids. Never envisioned myself ever saying that to another man 
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Posted: 2/12/2007 12:37:18 AM EDT
[#5]
I LOLed 
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Posted: 2/12/2007 12:38:57 AM EDT
[#6]
I went to the doctor the other day and all he did was suck blood from my neck.
Never go to Dr. Acula! |
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Posted: 2/12/2007 12:39:14 AM EDT
[#7]
man i'm not looking forward to getting that done when i get older. My dad was telling me about it, he had to have a camera down the throat and up the ass. They asked which end he wanted first and he opted to swallow the camera....i would have told them to wait until I was out...i wouldn't want to know which end they would violate first
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Posted: 2/12/2007 12:40:19 AM EDT
[#8]
I got a colonoscopy. the idea is not pleasant, but they drug you up so much you dont feel a thing and dont quite realize they are sticking a camera up your wazoo. You just see the inside of your colon on the TV and go" HEHE thats my colon LOL"
. At least i did. The drugs they gave me were supposed to put me to put me to sleep but i only fell asleep like 2 and a half hours after teh procedure. Being 17 at the time, i spent those 2.5hours mocking my dad and just being mean to him and looking at the pictures from my colon upside down and not realizing it. Damn codein
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Posted: 2/12/2007 12:40:27 AM EDT
[#9]
I had that done 3 years ago; it's time for another. Ugh.
Actually, after, say, 40 years of age it's a good idea to have it done regularly. In my case, they found cause for (mild) concern: 3 polyps high in the colon, which have a 10% chance of becoming cancerous. They were removed, but now I have a regular once-every-3-years appointment with "Dr. Finger and His Wonderful Camera of Joy." 
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Posted: 2/12/2007 12:41:47 AM EDT
[#10]
After the colonoscopy the patient then was given the camera down the throat... the patient said "Doc, this camera tastes like shit" "yeah well... due to budget cuts...." Oh that was sick... Im going to bed. |
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Posted: 2/12/2007 12:42:55 AM EDT
[#11]
It looks like a big black alien embryo they are going to implant up your ass. In fact it is an Olympus camera on a flexible thin tube. No big deal.
Drink a gallon of stuff. Shit a lot. Go to the doc get nekked. Go under. Wake up and fart a lot. Go out and eat a tasty meal. End of story, God Willing. Good luck. |
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Posted: 2/12/2007 12:45:20 AM EDT
[#12]
How do you tell the difference between an oral and anal thermometer??? the taste 
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Posted: 2/12/2007 12:49:03 AM EDT
[#13]
Here's my story on that... My wife had one and had to have some polyps removed. She started pestering me about having one around 40. I told her I was gonna wait until 45. At 50 I was going to wait until 55. I had exactly no gastric trouble at all, no pain, regular every day, no problems at all. I wanted to buy something expensive (I forget what now) and as part of the deal with the wife I agreed to get the procedure done. I arrived at the hospital completely pissed off at the wife for wasting my time as well as the hospital testing for something that I surely didn't have. The nurses just listened to my rants and went about their business. After I awoke and talked to the Doc I expected to hear my evaluation of this as a waste of time to be confirmed and a big "I told you so" to the wife. The Doc had pictures of my guts and said "Mr. Hopkins, you're a lucky man". He pointed to something on the photo and said "That is a precancerous polyp. I'm reasonably sure it isn't cancer yet, but I've sent it to the lab to make sure. I can tell you that four years from now, if you hadn't come in, we would be having a completely different conversation right now." When I explained how I never had any symptoms and the wife made me come in he said "You're the poster child for colon cancer. By the time any symptoms of this disease show up it's mostly too late for us to do anything. Most of the male patients I see are here only because their wives did the same to them that yours did to you". The wife has never said "I told you so.". Since they found something I was supposed to go back in three years for a retest. It's been five and the wife's been bugging me again. The hardest part is the night before. You have to fast for about 24 hours and the Doc will prescribe something to "clean you out". You will be hitting the throne every half hour for most of the evening. The procedure itself is really fast and you won't remember a thing.
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Posted: 2/12/2007 12:49:56 AM EDT
[#14]
Pretty thorough. Sounds like somebody owes you a dinner.
Don't feel bad. I like colonoscopies so much... I've had 6 in the last 7 years. And I'm only 26. |
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Posted: 2/12/2007 12:55:16 AM EDT
[#15]
.after reading a bunch of google links I guess id rather not [poop my pants{ like that astronaut gal.
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Posted: 2/12/2007 1:42:16 AM EDT
[#16]
Now you know why his nickname is "Doc Knuckles".
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Posted: 2/12/2007 2:34:46 AM EDT
[#17]
Go get it. Not a big deal. Even the prep is not that bad. In fact, after the "clean out", I felt like a million bucks. Getting all the toxins out of your system is not a bad thing. Test itself was a big non event. Don't remember a thing about it. In fact I don't even remember reading the literature they sent home with me as I ate lunch. I had two polyps removed.
Get it done and get it done now. Just man up an do it. If you have kids, it's a great way to help insure that you get to play with your grandkids. Colon cancer usually never presents itself until it is too late. Having the test is a lot easier than getting the cancer. |
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Posted: 2/12/2007 2:56:57 AM EDT
[#18]
I can not agree more. I had 7 polyps removed and I'm only 36. Do it for your wife and kids if not for yourself. |
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Posted: 2/12/2007 2:57:32 AM EDT
[#19]
Remember, he probably likes sticking his finger up your but if anything even less than you like having his finger stuck up your butt.
Red blood is better than black blood, IIRC, because red blood generally doesn't mean cancer, whereas black blood is often related to cancer. But I could be wrong. |
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Posted: 2/12/2007 2:59:19 AM EDT
[#20]
Yep no big deal...Like everyone has said you wont remember a thing. Saved my life by doing so.
Coming down off the seditives is a funny experience. Man up and bend over! hehe  Most likley the blood that was found is from a hemi...Pffft! |
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Posted: 2/12/2007 3:09:01 AM EDT
[#21]
I worked a deathe scene call several years ago where a guy bled out through his ass. It's no joke, and very messy. Hope it works out.
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Posted: 2/12/2007 3:19:36 AM EDT
[#22]
You get someone else to watch out for your cornhole bud.
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Posted: 2/12/2007 3:24:21 AM EDT
[#23]
It's no big deal.
I finally went after putting it off for a long time. The doc started putting the probe up inside me while I was watching on the TV monitor. It must have been making a turn or something because I groaned and the nurse moved the needle in my arm and that's all I remember until I woke up in the recovery area. It was more interesting than anything to fear or be worried about. Unless they puncture your intestine and then you are likely to get a communitiy drug resistant infection and die.
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Posted: 2/12/2007 3:33:42 AM EDT
[#24]
Buy the biggest tub of unscented baby-wipes you can find at Walmart. Use them instead of TP, otherwise you'll end up with a chapped ass.
Also, just wear a bathrobe all day after taking the medicine to clean you out. Having to drop your pants, etc, when the urge hits will not have good results. It will feel like you're pissing out your butt by the end of it.
Kharn |
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Posted: 2/12/2007 3:56:38 AM EDT
[#25]
I've watched a few people I care about die from colon cancer. I'm not going to die that way. It runs in my family. I get tested regularly. The indignity of the test is worth it for the peace of mind.
The prep the night before is the worst part. Plus you get to lay in the recovery area after it's over and rip off some really earth shaking farts.  |
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Posted: 2/12/2007 4:23:19 AM EDT
[#26]
I am dreading the day I have to do that.
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Posted: 2/12/2007 4:54:11 AM EDT
[#27]
Uh oh. He said colonoscopy. Well my friend, apart from having them slide something WAY up your ass, it's really no big deal. The junk they put you on for the procedure is actually kind of cool. Makes you feel exceptionally wierd. Trust me. Make sure you come back and file a Arfcom status report. Pics are not necessary. Anyway, best of luck. There's lot's of things that cause blood there that are no big deal, so chances are you're fine. |
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Posted: 2/12/2007 5:19:02 AM EDT
[#28]
+1x10^6 Listen well guys. That stuff can kill you...IF you let it. I had my first one at 50...just like they recommend. I had one polyp that the doc burned out. He told me its a "win-win". If they find something (presupposing that you began the checkup program BEFORE you actually get the Big "C") he fixes it on the spot and you're good to go. If they don't find anything, you're good to go. After I got my "procedure" I started bugging the missus to go too. My wife was reluctant but I talked her into going. Well...guess what-NO symptoms...but she had a few pre-cancerous polyps and lesions. He burned them out and she is fine. Now she goes every three years. So I asked the Doc...what if she had not had the procedure? He told us that she would be dead by now. Just do it! |
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Posted: 2/12/2007 5:24:21 AM EDT
[#29]
Very easy process. You can start worrying when they tell you they want to stick the camera in your dick and check out your bladder. Bad, bad.
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Posted: 2/12/2007 5:31:24 AM EDT
[#30]
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Posted: 2/12/2007 5:58:37 AM EDT
[#31]
I actually work in the gastroenterology dep at my hospital. We knock over about 2 dozen colonoscopy and endoscopes a day. The farting that goes on in recovery at times is something to behold......
No laughing matter though - a lot of our patients don't get good news at the end..... |
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Posted: 2/12/2007 6:36:34 AM EDT
[#32]
THAT and being hungry for a day is the only bad part. The procedure is lights out. Now don't let them talk you into a endosigmoidoscopy which is essentially the same thing (not quite as deep) without the anesthesia. I get nausea thinking about a gallon of Colite and as a hypoglycemic I get sick from not eating for a day. Demand a morning procedure so you don't have to spend the whole day hungry. There is a pill prep that is much easier to take for me. Be sitting on the pot when you drink the Ginger Ale. It reacts with the pill like one of those volcanos you used to make in school with vinegar and baking soda. Ask the doc what the prep options are and choose wisely. Some docs only allow one prep. If it's Colite, I choose another doctor. On the good side, the drugs are great and afterwards you can never imagine how good breakfast at House of Pancakes can be. You will fart for a few hours, and the KY will make you think you've shit yourself, but have no fear, you ain't got no shit. And however noisy, the farts smell like good air. |
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Posted: 2/12/2007 6:40:31 AM EDT
[#33]
Bullshit - I think its just some crazy shit the DR. community came up with. I will never let them do it . I don't want to live forever anyway.
I don't trust DR's any more than I trust LEO's or priest. A little notice is all I need. |
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Posted: 2/12/2007 7:01:49 AM EDT
[#34]
That women loves you. |
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Posted: 2/12/2007 7:34:41 AM EDT
[#35]
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Posted: 2/12/2007 7:38:28 AM EDT
[#36]
Same here, and I totally agree it's worth it. My grandfather and both of his brothers died of colorectal cancer. Their sister was diagnosed with it when she was on her deathbed from heart disease. It's a bad way to go. The laxatives are a real drag, but it's kind of amusing chugging a can of Foster's Lager and having it blast out the back end within 15 minutes. When that happens, you are good and prepped. |
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Posted: 2/12/2007 7:41:45 AM EDT
[#37]
The worst part of the Colonoscopy was the night before after i drank a gallon of laxative. Actually the test itself was a non event...I was out cold.
I had one last year at 49. They found 3 polyps, cut em out, no signs of malignancy...back in 2 years for another one... |
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Posted: 2/12/2007 7:44:00 AM EDT
[#38]
Wow--does the fart gas cost extra?? 
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Posted: 2/12/2007 7:51:58 AM EDT
[#39]
Will keep in mind when the spousal unit sends me in in 3 years.
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Posted: 2/12/2007 7:56:26 AM EDT
[#40]
Now that's funny. As for a prostate exam, just make sure the doctor doesn't have both hands on your shoulders. 
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Posted: 2/12/2007 8:09:34 AM EDT
[#41]
Waited too long to get tested? I shudder at the thought.......
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Posted: 2/12/2007 8:15:11 AM EDT
[#42]
Its like paying for sex, only you don't get the sex
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Posted: 2/12/2007 8:15:56 AM EDT
[#43]
This thread is worthless with out pics....................................
Never mind
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Posted: 2/12/2007 8:27:51 AM EDT
[#44]
Aw Hells no! Everybody in the office is now wondering what was so uproariously funny I had a colonosocopy last year. the docs give you a med that sedates you. not knocked out, but you don't remember it. |
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Posted: 2/12/2007 8:40:45 AM EDT
[#45]
Yea, I kind of like her too.
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Posted: 2/12/2007 8:42:33 AM EDT
[#46]
Survival statistics on colon cancer - approximate. If you wait until it matisizes, you have a real problem and the life expectancy is not good. If you catch it before, the survival rate over 10 years is about 95%. If you have the precancerous polyps removed, then follow up as often as they will schedule you, then you won't develop the cancer without finding it before it matistizes.
A great deal is made over the preps. Basically, we humans are lazy. If you don't want to do the preps, then don't eat for a week and you will be able to present yourself as empty. BFD. If you have the full up scope, you are out for the whole procedure, so what is the big deal, again? There is an inordinate fear of pain in connection with the procedure. My response is very simple. If I could get Kaiser to do the procedure more often, I would go in more often. At this point, because you have not gone in for inspection before, your doctor is being conservative. If it turns out to be hemmoroids, the usual advice (often ignored unfortunately) is to stop using scented toilet paper and use dedicated wash clothes. It is very delicate down there and using toilet paper is using an abrasive (even Charmin isn't good). You will even be told to use towels only once and have to be shown how to wipe your rear (I'm sure that your mother did nothing other than change your diapers). |
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Posted: 2/13/2007 1:40:15 AM EDT
[#47]
They DO sedate you, so have someone else drive. I felt OK to drive after my first buttcam job, but that might have been post-sedation euphoria. I slept for 5 hours after the visit. |
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Posted: 2/13/2007 3:47:12 AM EDT
[#48]
Do you also find you are questioning your sexuality these days too???..... 
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Posted: 2/13/2007 4:08:49 AM EDT
[#49]
You owe me a can of Coke, a keyboard, and a desk blotter. |
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Posted: 2/13/2007 4:19:33 AM EDT
[#50]
I don't mean to sound too much like your wife, but for God's sake get your ass in there and get the re-test! Have you ever watched someone die of colon cancer? |
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