Do relationships work between people with different politics?

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Do relationships work between people with different politics?

Posted: 9/26/2005 11:27:06 AM EDT

Long story short, met a girl, she came back to my place, woke up the next morning, saw the 4 foot wide by 2 foot tall Barrett Firearms poster in my room and asked me how I felt about guns.

I told her.

She left.

She called me later and apologized saying that how she acted was childish.

Then today, I was watching a Drew Carey show rerun where they sort of had the exact same issue, so I took it as a sign that I was supposed to delve deeper into the matter.

Anyway, here is what I would like to know.

Do marriages or long term relationships actually stay cohesive and manageable when people have two vastly different political points of view?

Are you in one of those relationships now?

Do you just focus on things you have in common, and ignore the rest?

Success/horror stories? Comments?

Posted: 9/26/2005 11:32:50 AM EDT

[#1]

If both are politically active it will be hard but I'm sure it can be done.

Most people get by because politics is something they never take that seriously anyways so it's nothing that gets in the way of the relationship.

People on boards like this generally take politics seriously so it can get in the way.

I'm sure someone will chime in with some real world experience on the matter.

Posted: 9/26/2005 11:33:46 AM EDT

[#2]

Yeah, if the other person is as adamant as I am, then no.

Posted: 9/26/2005 11:35:58 AM EDT

[#3]

Well, if you restrict yourself to only pro-gun women, the pickings are going to be real thin. Most women don't really care for guns.

Posted: 9/26/2005 11:50:27 AM EDT

[#4]

It is possible if both parties are willing to accept the other's different beliefs. It is not really about politics... the issue is how each person interprets "reality". Politics is just one aspect of this and there are many others. But, politics does provide a good opportunity to identify significant differences that may exist.

Posted: 9/26/2005 11:53:16 AM EDT

[#5]

"Vastly different"?

No. IMHO, it will not work. There are some good gals out there that are not liberal sheep like that woman obviously is.

Find another one that suits you better.

CMOS

Posted: 9/26/2005 11:53:16 AM EDT

[#6]

My parents are pretty different in background, and it works for them. The trick is not to talk politics.

James Carville and his wife Mary whats her name are a good example.

Posted: 9/26/2005 11:57:03 AM EDT

[#7]

Quoted:
... James Carville and his wife Mary whats her name are a good example.

Exactly what I thought upon seeig the title of this thread... but I don't know how they do it.

I couldn't...

Posted: 9/26/2005 11:58:25 AM EDT

[#8]

A big difference in politics is a sign of a deeper difference about worldview, the nature of God, and the nature of man. If you like a shallow relationship, then it could work.

Posted: 9/26/2005 11:59:14 AM EDT

[#9]

If Carville and Matalin can do it -- and they are true believers -- then you can.

Posted: 9/26/2005 12:01:40 PM EDT

[#10]

Depending on how anti they are. The true antis require pooper pics

Posted: 9/26/2005 12:02:38 PM EDT

[#11]

They seem to make it work.

edit: As usual...you guys are quick. Before I could come up with a decent pic, you already chimed in.

Posted: 9/26/2005 12:04:17 PM EDT

[#12]

Politics aside if she came home with you and stayed the night on the first night you met.

You should not have any high expactations of anything lasting.

Posted: 9/26/2005 12:05:14 PM EDT

[#13]

Depends upon how adamant you both are about your beliefs, and whether you can debate/discuss them like adults. Asking/being asked to defend your beliefs will be the test - can you discuss them rationally, or will it turn into a pissing match?

Posted: 9/26/2005 12:05:32 PM EDT

[#14]

I don't think that different political views in general would be a deal breaker. It is the more specific issues that are usually the problem. Guns is probably one of the worst because it isn't an issue that only pertains to a policy, but it involves an actual object. If your S/O hates guns, it is kinda hard to keep them in the house. If you disagree on abortion or religion, just don't talk about it. It would probably also be a PITA to convince her that you need more guns, too.

So I guess my final anwer is......It Depends.

Posted: 9/26/2005 12:07:42 PM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:
I don't think that different political views in general would be a deal breaker. It is the more specific issues that are usually the problem. Guns is probably one of the worst because it isn't an issue that only pertains to a policy, but it involves an actual object. If your S/O hates guns, it is kinda hard to keep them in the house. If you disagree on abortion or religion, just don't talk about it. It would probably also be a PITA to convince her that you need more guns, too.

So I guess my final anwer is......It Depends.

You must know my law professor

.

You do make a good point, tangible and intangible ideas would certainly make a difference.

Posted: 9/26/2005 12:07:50 PM EDT

[#16]

My parents were from opposite ends of the political spectrum. They made it work.

Posted: 9/26/2005 12:08:57 PM EDT

[#17]

Apparantly so, given all the liberal/conservative marriages.

I have NO freakin idea how it works

Posted: 9/26/2005 12:15:21 PM EDT

[#18]

Quoted:
My parents are pretty different in background, and it works for them. The trick is not to talk politics.

James Carville and his wife Mary whats her name are a good example.

Most political rhetoric is appealing to fears, the kind exemplified by the acronym False Expectations, Already Realized. Most adults recognize this when having rational discussions.

For example, poverty may be a scourge on society, but eliminating the very last vestiges of it is demagogue talk. Most people would agree that poverty will always be with us, especially with the ever-changing definition of just what constitutes poverty.

Posted: 9/26/2005 12:16:59 PM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:
Apparantly so, given all the liberal/conservative marriages.

I have NO freakin idea how it works

It used to work fine when women couldn't vote, right?????

Posted: 9/26/2005 12:17:35 PM EDT

[#20]

Quoted:
Quoted:
I don't think that different political views in general would be a deal breaker. It is the more specific issues that are usually the problem. Guns is probably one of the worst because it isn't an issue that only pertains to a policy, but it involves an actual object. If your S/O hates guns, it is kinda hard to keep them in the house. If you disagree on abortion or religion, just don't talk about it. It would probably also be a PITA to convince her that you need more guns, too.

So I guess my final anwer is......It Depends.

You must know my law professor.

You do make a good point, tangible and intangible ideas would certainly make a difference.

I get that from my wife, who is a 3rd year law student.

Posted: 9/26/2005 12:20:42 PM EDT

[#21]

It depends on what the issues are that drive people's decisions politically, especially the vote.

Posted: 9/26/2005 1:37:57 PM EDT

[#22]

I would never waste my time with a woman who was as liberal as I am conservative. I realize politics are not the most important thing in life, by a longshot, but still, life is too short to be with a lib.

There are lots of conservative pro-RKBA women out there. I had to go to the beautiful south to find one, but it was worth the effort.

Posted: 9/26/2005 1:41:21 PM EDT

[#23]

I think James Carville and His wife proably do it the same way everyone else does it Hardshell...............A little "Doggie", a little "missionary", a little "Her on top" etc.

Posted: 9/26/2005 1:45:13 PM EDT

[#24]

Big difference in living with a woman who is smart and Democrat vs. ignorant and Democrat.

This will floor you guys, but there are Democrats out there who have not bought on to the gun control progressivist agenda, especially here in the South. Not many, but there are a few.

Posted: 9/26/2005 1:49:48 PM EDT

[#25]

It may or may not work. If I ever dated the male equivalent of my ex-roommate that would fly out the window real fast. However, if a guy was as liberal as all getout but was able to STFU about it I might be ok... I'm not sure, though because I've learned things can surface. Child-rearing, allocation of finances, etc. are influenced by one's political views. So I'd have to say, nah.

Posted: 9/26/2005 2:02:13 PM EDT

[#26]

She's probably just ignorant about guns like most out there. They believed the anti's statistics for imbeciles not necessasarily because they are stupid, but they want to believe them.

I'd try to get her shooting vs. trying to discuss it. My friends and I converted quite a few chicks into Rambettes, just get a AR in their hands and make sure they are safe with it.

If you discuss it, like rxdawg said, you gotta keep your cool.

Posted: 9/26/2005 2:09:31 PM EDT

[#27]

Quoted:
If both are politically active it will be hard but I'm sure it can be done.

Most people get by because politics is something they never take that seriously anyways so it's nothing that gets in the way of the relationship.

People on boards like this generally take politics seriously so it can get in the way.

I'm sure someone will chime in with some real world experience on the matter.

One (of many) issues my wife and I had before our split was that I was getting politically active while she could care less. I've decided that one of my requirements from now on in dating will be similar political views.

Posted: 9/26/2005 2:13:13 PM EDT

[#28]

The answer is no. Well, actually the answer is HELL NO!

However, she may have been brainwashed into liberalism, and if she has the capacity to reason and an open mind, you may be able to deprogram her.

At the very least, she will provide you endless hours of guilt free pleasure.

Seriously, having btdt, in any real relationship, the participants have to start with the same basic assumptions and common ground.

Posted: 9/26/2005 2:22:43 PM EDT

[#29]

It does work.

If you are reasonable and not a idiot, you will find that you can get most members of the other sexes to not be idiotic as well. If you are rah rah rah! guns guns guns hooray everyday to a girl who isn't pro-guns, then you acted like an idiot and it won't work.

My girlfriend used to be so scared of guns she didn't even want to look at mine. After a while, she saw that it was not evil like her retarded parents brainwashed her into beleiving... and after i kept bombarding her with FACTS concerning firearms. Now we're going to go to the range and get her addicted to the hobby next weekend, hehehe

People who are HARDCORE car/guns/computer/whatever need to realize that not everyone has their same devotion or respect for their hobby. The burden is on the person with the "offending" hobby to ease the person of interest into it. I'd say, lay off the gun talk in front of her and bring it into your relationship slowly... the whole "how to boil a frog" thing, you gotta raise the heat in small increments.

Posted: 9/26/2005 2:26:37 PM EDT

[#30]

Quoted:
Big difference in living with a woman who is smart and Democrat vs. ignorant and Democrat.

This will floor you guys, but there are Democrats out there who have not bought on to the gun control progressivist agenda, especially here in the South. Not many, but there are a few.

Guns are just one of many issues that only TWO political parties have to debate on.

Most of my democrat friends love guns for their intrinsic values... after I got them suckered in. First a little airsoft, then a few trips to the indoor pistol range. w00t!

Posted: 9/26/2005 2:55:53 PM EDT

[#31]

Quoted:
Politics aside if she came home with you and stayed the night on the first night you met.

You should not have any high expactations of anything lasting.

Why? Love at first sight does happen. Are you going to start calling her a skank too?

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Do relationships work between people with different politics?

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