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Posted: 5/12/2002 10:13:41 PM EDT
knock knock knock:
who is it?
dave!
.
.
.
knock knock knock:
who is it?
dave!
daves not here.
knock knock knock:
who is it?
dave, let me in man.
daves not here.
no man, i'm dave.
daves not here.
.
.
.
.
.
.still cracks me up after all these years.[:D]
Link Posted: 5/12/2002 10:17:16 PM EDT
[#1]
Knock Knock
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"You keep on knockin but you cant come in!"




Sir where is your license?
.
.
License,Isnt it on the bumper?

Link Posted: 5/12/2002 10:23:45 PM EDT
[#2]
Link Posted: 5/12/2002 10:27:58 PM EDT
[#3]
Hey man! This isnt a joint man...This is a toothpick!

  Thats not a toothpi-- Hey that is a toothpick.
Link Posted: 5/13/2002 4:13:10 AM EDT
[#4]
lol, I can't watch Nash Bridges w/o getting a chuckle [:)]
Link Posted: 5/13/2002 8:08:09 AM EDT
[#5]
Link Posted: 5/13/2002 9:38:46 AM EDT
[#6]
"you mean weve been smoking dog shit"
Link Posted: 5/13/2002 9:42:34 AM EDT
[#7]
You will take your plane and crash it into the American Aircraft Carriers, Any questions, yes you in the back.

Are you out of your F**king mind Man!!!
Link Posted: 5/13/2002 12:26:06 PM EDT
[#8]
Link Posted: 5/13/2002 1:32:04 PM EDT
[#9]
Link Posted: 5/13/2002 2:15:32 PM EDT
[#10]
"Here's the pizza, and" ZZZIIIPP, "here's the pepperoni!"


"Any questions, class?"
"Yeah. Who cuts your hair?"

[music] "I gota a basketball jones..."[/music]
Link Posted: 5/13/2002 3:03:55 PM EDT
[#11]
Gonna go down town
Gonna see my gal
Gonna sing her a song
Gonna show her my ding dong.
Link Posted: 5/13/2002 4:17:37 PM EDT
[#12]
BEANERS
Link Posted: 5/13/2002 4:22:25 PM EDT
[#13]
[b]'Basketball Jones' by Tyrone Shoelaces[/b]

Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones
Got a Basketball Jones, oh baby, oo-oo-ooo

Yes, I am the victim of a Basketball Jones
Ever since I was a little baby, I always be dribblin'
In fac', I was de baddest dribbler in the whole neighborhood
Then one day, my mama bought me a basketball
And I loved that basketball
I took that basketball with me everywhere I went
That basketball was like a basketball to me

I even put that basketball underneath my pillow
Maybe that's why I can't sleep at night
I need help, ladies and gentlemens
I need someone to stand beside me
I need, I need someone to set a pick for me at the free-throw line of life
Someone I can pass to
Someone to hit the open man on the give-and-go
And not end up in the popcorn machine
So cheerleaders, help me out

{cheerleaders sing repeatedly...}
  (Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones)
  (I got a Basketball Jones, oh baby, oo-oo-ooo)

{while Tyrone Shoelaces sings/speaks...}
  Oh, that sounds so sweet
  Sing it out
  C'mon Coach Booty, Red Blazer, sing along with me
  That be bad, honky
  Yeah
  I want everybody in the whole stadium to stand up and sing with us
  Oh yeah, sing it out like you're proud
  All right, everybody watchin' coast-to-coast, sing along with us
  Bill Russell, sing along with us
  Chick Hearn, sing along with us
  Chris Schenkel, don't sing nothin'

  Oh, it feels so good
  Gimme the ball
  I'll go one-on-one against the world, left-handed
  I could stuff it from center court with my toes
  I could jump on top of the backboard, take off a quarter, leave fifteen
cents change
  I could, I could dribble behind my back
  I got more moves than Ex-Lax
  I'm bad
  I could dribble with my tongue
  Here I go down court, try to stop me
  You can't stop me 'cause I got a Basketball Jones
  Here I come
  That's my hook shot with my eyebrow
  Yeah, I could dunk it with my nose
  I'm, I'm bad as King Kong, gimme the ball
  I'm hot, I'm hot as..., I'm hot as..., I'm hot as... uh
  Uh, uh, uh, uh

(Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones,
Basketball Jones)
(Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones,
Basketball Jones)
(Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones,
Basketball Jones)
(Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones,
Basketball Jones)
{fade}

From [i][b]Los Cochinos[/b][/i] album, 1973.

Eric The(Wise)Hun[>]:)]
Link Posted: 5/13/2002 4:37:18 PM EDT
[#14]
(With British accent)
Seaman Kelly, you have been charged with Buggery on the high seas, How do you plead?

Los Cochinos
Link Posted: 5/13/2002 4:51:01 PM EDT
[#15]
Good old Cheech and Chong. Let's don't forget Ashley Roachclip!
Link Posted: 5/13/2002 5:01:58 PM EDT
[#16]
In a Southern accent

Last week, when I asked for volunteers to weed out that marijuana patch, I damned near got stampeded
View Quote


Ring, ring.  Hello.  Hey man, it's me Dave.  Whatever you do, don't answer the phone
View Quote


Young man, give me that knife.  PPPFFFFFTTTT, BBBOOOINNGGG.  Thank you
View Quote
Link Posted: 5/13/2002 5:06:26 PM EDT
[#17]
Quoted:
You will take your plane and crash it into the American Aircraft Carriers, Any questions, yes you in the back.

Are you out of your F**king mind Man!!!
View Quote


Today, pilots of the Rising Sun, you will fly your airplanes high into the sky, diving down into the American ships, killing yourself and all aboard.

Before traditional sake toast, are there any questions?

You, Sakimoto, in the second row.

Honorable General, sir, you outta your f**king mind!
View Quote
Link Posted: 5/13/2002 5:19:57 PM EDT
[#18]
Quoted:
(With British accent)
Seaman Kelly, you have been charged with Buggery on the high seas, How do you plead?

Los Cochinos
View Quote


Rip the shirt how cliche
Link Posted: 5/13/2002 5:25:16 PM EDT
[#19]
"YOU GET A [email protected][email protected]^= JOB BEFORE SUNDOWN, OR WE'RE SHIPPIN' YA OFF TO MILITARY SCHOOL, WITH THE [email protected][email protected]^= FINKLESTIEN S$#@ KID. Son of a B!*&$#."
Link Posted: 5/13/2002 5:29:09 PM EDT
[#20]
Has the constant drip drip drip
of gonorrhea got you down?

Call roto-router
thats the name
away goes trouble
down the drain
rotten peter
rotten peter
rotten peter

Link Posted: 5/13/2002 6:51:45 PM EDT
[#21]
oh man! memories of sneaking my friend's old man's wiskey, and trying so hard to not make a peep while laughin' so hard i thought i would pass out. eddie murphy's first album was a killer too. and let's not forget the great richard pryor. [beer]
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