Edited: If you are a punkass cityboy that likes to make fun of anyone that has a different taste than you, read on and flame me like these other gentlemen did so you can get your rocks off.  However, if you are none of the type, do not read on because it will be a waste of your time and intelligence.---End edit---

Is it just me, or does anyone else just NOT get along with girls?  I don't know what it is, but I've pretty much lost all respect for them.  I don't know a girl under the age of 25 that has ever had anything decent to say to or about me.  A little background info:

Live in small town, 20yrs old, usually wear jeans, tshirt, cowboy boots or sneakers, maybe dockers and Doc's about once every 2 wks for a change.  Drive a purple (shutup!) Ranger 4x4 or my Honda F4i when it's not raining.  Currently going to a small college.  As far as money, I have a litle bit but I try to save as much as I can.  Of course, I have a gun collection that would make the liberals cry.  My hobbies consist of hunting, fishing, riding dirt or street bikes, and muddin.  I listen to every kind of music, with the exception of heavy metal, classical, and hardcore rap.  Here is a link to a pic of me if you really want to see something ugly (pic is really terrible) http://www.il.ngb.army.mil/b2-130-eff/07%20Newsletters/Soldieroftheyear03.htm

I don't try to be something I'm not, and I am fairly generous and will listen to about anybody.  Just don't know what it is, but girls and I are like oil and water.  Many of them make smartass comments about me and they don't even know me.  All most every one that gets in my truck changes the radio station to the exact opposite of what I'm listening to at the time.  It's like if they don't completely ignore me then they are just bent on pissing me off.

I get along with guys great, and for some reason nobody ever talks about me behind my back(very rare in this small town, and yes I would have heard about it).  Even a good friend of mine last drill said he's sure I'm the most well respected enlisted man in the company.  

I have tried to be nice to girls but that has pretty much changed.  Anymore I just have no sympathy for them or anything they do, and am becoming more and more like the "jerk" everyone says they are always attracted to.

Is anybody else like this or am I just a "one-off" model?  Sorry for the rant, but I feel better now.

So your self proclaimed ugly, drive a truck and dress like a cowboy. And chicks dont like you...You have two options:

1) Go gay

2) Change

Changing because you dont like the way your life is and being someone you arent are two different things. Its just a matter of time untill youre unhappy enough to change.

LOL, "drive a truck and dress like a cowboy."  That has to be the funniest thing I've heard all week.  What do you suggest I do, buy a civic w/ the fartcan and 6' wing, and sell my bike so I can buy a white "pimpin" outfit and drive around blaring nelly all night?  If you did that around here, you are likely to get your ass beat within an ounce of your life.  Not that that would stop me if I wanted to go that route, but why would anyone want to look and act like some homo from backstreet boys?

Youre going from one extreme to the other. Its not cowboy OR homo (wait is that redundant? kidding). There IS an inbetween. Lose the painted on wranglers and get some slacks. Lose the spurs and get some timberlands or sneakers. Lose the belt buckle and get...uh a different belt buckle lol.

There are also many other cars besides Hondas and trucks. Shit keep the truck lots of different people drive trucks. You said you like alot of different music, thats a good start.

1-"Lose the painted on wranglers and get some slacks"  In my first post- "maybe dockers and Doc's about once every 2 wks for a change", and I don't wear tight jeans anyway, unless you consider anything besides pants that you have to pull up every 3 steps "tight".

2-"Lose the spurs and get some timberlands or sneakers"  In my first post- "cowboy boots or sneakers"

3-"get...uh a different belt buckle lol"  I don't wear a dinner plate buckle, don't rodeo, haven't earned one, therefore I don't wear one.

I guess the "country" image is so sterotyped anymore.  How many "cowboys" do you know ride a Honda F4i?

Look all I know is that there are a few guys here in the dorms on base you wear jeans, a cowboy hat a big ass belt buckle and get no play. As a matter of fact I cant remember anytime someone DIDNT make fun of them. And Im in Louisiana.

Sounds like you have already identified the problems, like I said its only a matter of time until you decide to change or accept your fate.

Edit: Not to say there not good guys, they are there just not getting laid.

Purple eh? Check out this thread http://ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=5&f=14&t=4284 purple. I hope you didn't do this as well. 20 and poor, those don't go together at all. Get a kyvek suit and spray paint it purple, then cruise around in your purple car listening to some of that country music, sure way to atract something, may not be what you are looking for. Watch yourbackside in your purple car. If you do get a honda, you have to get in purple as well, so it will match the lipstick your new boyfriend will get you.

#1- I'm not poor, far from it
#2- I don't even own a car, it's a truck.

Well let me rephrase my orig. post, I get along with almost all guys EXCEPT the ones from www.AR15.com because, god forbid, they are obviously haters and I do not conform to the cityboy prep standards as set by individuals on www.AR15.com.  Oh yeah, I guess I don't have 10,000 posts on here and don't post pictures of my dinner, so I don't fit in here either.  BOO HOO.  I suppose that since my M4 has a carry handle on it instead of PAQ-4C, PVS, bayonet, 10 flashlights, and a Beta C, that I don't fit in with your group either.  

Obviously my post was a waste of my time and yours too.

Here is a very important rule, found in maxim...

Don't play music you like, play music GIRLS like...witch means yes you have to play Nelly.

Changing wont matter, I am the same age, have a BLACK ranger 4x4, dress nice when I go out (kakis & black shirt usually) and girls use me and lose me.  I think you need to play the motorcycle card a little more, chicks dig guys on crotch rockets.

You might also save a lot of time and money by spending money on cheap hookers and beer.

On second thought you might just want to lose the cowboy boots until you have a steady girlfriend, and then wear them...

Yet another person dissatisfied with the results when they come here whining about personal problems. My work here is done.

Hey don't sweat it! I grew up in a small town and still live in one. All I ever owned and drove was trucks,(currently driving a '94 Nissan 4x4, 4-inch lift, and running 33's). Running with women comes in cycles, keep looking and you will find the right one. I did, she's my wife now and she loves to hunt and fish as well as ride 4 wheelers and most of all shoot. Do your own thing and don't worry about what a bunch of preppy cityboys think.

This is my third marriage, so don't be in a hurry to tie one up, make sure she's a good one. Not all women are self centered, egostical, pyscho hose beasts. (Just 95% of them).[;D]

Women are strange creatures in my younger days it was always feast or famine when it came to women!!!
My buddys and I used to go to partys and make a point not to even look at the good looking women but rather go strike up a conversation with the ugly and or shy ones it was not very long before they would all be competing for our attention LOL
Just remember to try to be nice to them all word gets around!!!
Also it only take one woman if its the right one and studying any of your prospective future mother in laws goes a long way in determining what you can expect in the future
Good luck
Big

People are usually a good indicator on what YOU are like.  IN GENERAL: If people laugh around you a lot, then you're either funny, or the brunt of their jokes.  If people are always calling you an asshole, then you're probably an asshole.  That being said, maybe you need to change your attitude towards women.  Yeah, it's easy to reciprocate their negative attitude, but if you play it cool, and let them know it doesn't bother you, then they're bound to either leave you alone, or come around to you.  Try working on CHARM 1st.  Even charming assholes get laid!

Josh, you dont seem to be able to take criticism, even when you asked for it.  No doubt your attitude, possibly self centeredness, comes out to women quite openly.  And since women are the most self-centered, selfish, me first types around, they refuse to deal with competition for that attitude from a man.

Haters?  Hrmm a cowboy who uses gangster terms.  Thats hilarious!  I think the problem is that you dont know yourself.  Find yourself, then find someone to share that with.



Dinner Pic
[img]http://chinesefood.about.com/library/graphics/jasmine_theme.JPG[/img]
Please like me! [:)]

You really need to look at dating etc. as a marketing/sales program.You are putting yourself on the market, they either like what they see or not.If you are not "selling",  you then have a choice change the packaging to attract enough interest for the ladies to get to know whats underneath the wrappings, or move to a different market where the original packaging may sell.
You can't force this, if you are not what is being looked for something has to change or you accept being alone.

You have simply discovered, at last, nice guys finish last. I'm not saying be a dick, but sometimes the best thing you can do to drive a womenz nuts is to act like she means nothing. Maybe even like she isn't even there.

Sounds crazy, and it's against my nature, but it has worked for me many times!

However, if you have found a good one, one that you really like, don't do the above, as it only applies when you're just looking to get some pooty. A "keeper", requires effort. It's usually worth it though.

Second thought:

It seems like you keep running into women that want the nice guy, and they think you're more of the badboy/jerk type.  Well, I keep running into the opposite.  Maybe we should trade towns for a while.  Then once you're tired of having all that "pooty", you can think about settling down.  

Couple of things:
-I agree with above, you've got a shitty attitude. Trust me, that's a big part of dating.  My ex left due to what she called my "negative attitude".  Women like a guy that's stable and happy.  I personally think that it's because they want to be the only one complaining, but that's just my theory.
-Don't talk about yourself.  Get a list of little questions in your head that you can ask about them, and be prepared to have follow up questions.  Nothing too personal (at first) just inane bullshit.  Most women loooove to talk about themselves.
-Don't marry the first chick that let's you in her panties.  You will be a pussy-whipped bitch for the rest of your life.
-Don't cry when you don't like the advice these guys gave you.  It sounds like you came here hoping to hear "it'll be ok, just keep doing what you're doing and everything will be ok".
-People that do the same thing over and over again, and expect a different response, are called crazy.  If what you're doing isn't working for you, and your goal is to get laid, you have to change.
-If all else fails find a doormat. Don't hit her but put her down alot, tell her she'll never find anyone but you, etc.  At least that's the only kind of girls I ever see with guys doing th redneck stereotype. (it's sarcasm guys, don't give me a hard time)
-Deffinately play up the bike.  I've got a 100% success ratio from women that have ridden my Harley.
-Move.  It sounds like your location is the problem.  I live in Ft. Lauderdale FL, and it's nothing but scattered ass down here.  I ain't no stud but I'm currently going around with more than 1 woman.
-Play up your future.  Women like a guy with a plan.  Don't brag, just be mindful of what you say.  If they aske what you're studying say "architecture, I want to own my own firm one day" or whatever major you've got.  Women don't want some aimless dipshit.

Are you gonna publish that Norman?  Cause if not, I'm gonna steal it and make some $ in the Dating Book scene!

Unfortunately these are hard learned lessons, and he probably won't listen.  I wouldn't have at his age.  He's looking at the whole world saying "ya'll are fucked up".  Problem is, if you think the entire world is fucked up, it's probably the other way around.
Before you think I'm some old fogey Josh, I'm 28.  I am dating, and have dated, the same women you're going after.
One other thing, if all else fails, look for older (30-40) divorcees (or married women).  If all you're looking for is getting laid, these women will put a serious hurtin on you and teach you things you can take back to those young fillies that the other young guys you're competing with have no clue about.  Once you've got that kind of confidence in the sack, you'll do fine.
Right now I would venture to guess that you're a little shy and insecure, and you're making up for it by acting like a jerk to women.  Women will fall for jerks all day long, but it takes a special kind of jerk.  If you can't figure out what kind of jerk, then it's best you go with being a standup guy.  Not nice, just standup.
By the way, clothes do make the man.  I am by no means a fashion plate, but I got my own thing goin on and it works for me.  Most women don't want some dork that just fell out of a Carhart catalog.  Find a look that's your own and that works for you.  If they can't put you in a "fashion category" then you've succeeded, plus you'll get access to way more poon.  Right now you're going to be stuck with redneck women.  If you get your own thing goin on, you can go after rednecks, ravers, party girls, sorrositutes, nerdy chicks (who are often animals in bed BTW), older women, business women, the list goes on and on.

Incidentally, what do you want from a woman?  someone to sleep with? a wife? a friend? someone to date? lots of someones to date?

You have to figure out your prioritees, because your strategy is going to be different for each one.

Oh yeah, and if you're the dude with the catepillar on your lip, shave that shit off right now.  You're not Ron Jeremy.

Growing up in a very small town in Illinois myself, I know exactly what you are going through.

First, if you are 20, then the girls you are going after are probably 18 to 20.  At that age all they want is "a guy to pick them up, buy them things, and let them control the radio".  You aren't missing out by not getting along with these women.

Second, you aren't in Texas, get rid of all the cowboy stuff...women do not like it.  Heck, even my female cousin out in Wyoming hates the guys that dress like cowboys and that's mainly what they have out there.

Do you really need a purple truck?  I had several purple items that I thought were cool at the time.  Now looking back on it, they made me look really gay and trust me I'm not.

What I would suggest is getting yourself a nice pair of black work boots (not cowboy boots), a couple nice pairs of blue or black jeans, a couple nice t-shirts, and a black leather jacket.  Wear that and ride your bike more.

Now all that this will do is let you approach people easier.  If you have a bad attitude, don't know what to say, or act clingly, needy, or like a wuss, the perfect setup isn't going to help you any.

To get a good grip on how to handle the women, goto [url]http://www.doubleyourdating.com[/url] buy the eBook and read it a couple times.  This book is expensive for a book $40, but the value of the content is priceless.  If you consider that a date will cost you $40, if the book saved you from going on one bad date, and it will, then it paid for itself.

Josh, Its all in your attitude man. You seriously over reacted to the comments made in this thread. The tone of your post indicates that you over react to a lot of things. My friendly advice is to relax and quit focusing on yourself. Changing the radio station in your truck is not personal. She did not get in thinking to herself "I think I will piss him off by changing the station"....she got in your truck looking to have a good time and changing the station to her type of music probably made her feel more comfortable. Insults and personal attacks are one thing, but you have to "give in" a little to be in a relationship. Chill, and everything will work out fine.

Be yourself and don't worry about it.

If you want a female perspective, here goes.
First off your attitude from what I can see through your post,would be a real turn off. If you come off as an ass, most girls,women won't give you the time of day. I certainly wouldn't. Second nice guys might finish last, but I always liked the nice guys. I want to be respected,treated nicely, and what sold me on my husband(who is 3 years younger than me) was that he always made me laugh and still does. Even if I have had the worlds worst day. Also
what is nice is someone who will listen and give advise when needed.My husband and I are also best friends, we have similiar interest,and we are very supportive of one another, in what ever we do. We knew each other 4 months when we got married,but we'll be together 20 years in Nov. We met in the service,but I also worked in an all male shop, and very few women in my company. Trust me I worked with a bunch of jerks too, I wouldn't give them the time of day, also we had the few that thought they were god's gift to women, they didn't get very far either. Just be yourself,you'll meet some one when you least expect it.

i simply can not believe that some of you people are advocating this guy being something that he is not.  if the man dresses like that, its because he wants to and thats who he is, if the girls dont like it, tough shit.  pussy is great but it aint worth putting yourself through some of the shit advocated here, nor is it acceptable to be an asshole to women or treat them like shit just because thats what works.

and i dont know what the hell some of you peoples problem is with cowboys, but get the hell over it.  fashion changes for most, never for me.  and everything is circular, when "country" comes back in like it was in the late 70's and early 80's yall are gonna go out and buy you some tony llamas and we're gonna get a good laugh at your expense.

if you want to try a different approach, try a different approach, but dont change yourself for any damn woman or you'll end up not knowing who the hell you are

oh ya, and get rid of the purple ford

There has to be give and take in any relationship (friendship or love). You don't have to sacrifice "who you are", but you do have to bend a little to allow for the other persons personality. If you are the "me me me" type, it will be a difficult road socially. Of course you can wear whatever you like, if that's who you are then carry on. You should not get mad at other people if they do not approve. Sometimes I have to deviate from my favorite lure (as much as I hate to) in order to catch bigger and better fish. I don't have to change the rod and reel.

*note* opinions are like assholes....everybody has one. Take em for what they are worth and get on with it. [:)]

thanx for reafirming my strong belief that you sir are an ignorant, incoherant, heartless asshole [:|]

A month ago I would have agreed with you.  But now I know better.  It's pretty obvious that Josh isn't happy with what he currently is and he's asking what he can do to improve himself.  There is nothing wrong with trying to find ways to improve yourself to get better results out of life.

I went through what Josh is going when I was 18 to 20.  Now I'm 27 and I was still going through it...because I was never able to figure out what worked.  I have now improved myself in a couple minor ways and I'm getting results.  But, most importantly I feel better about myself and I am able to be myself instead of someone who wanted to be better but constantly felt sorry for myself because I couldn't get anywhere with the ladies.




Being an asshole, isn't what women like...it's just most assholes are usually confident, cocky, and funny which is what women are attracted to.  Just re-read MrsWildweasel's post for verification.



Exactly.  Do things for yourself.  You are in charge of your own reality and the women that you speak of only have as much power over you as what you give them.  They are a guest in your reality, remember that.

Your statement is false. Only a few people gave him shit (as they always do) and he got pissed. There are a bunch of very helpful replies to this thread. On any board, you have to take the good with the bad. You ask for it anytime you post. I learned this the hard way several times [:D]

Ok, thanks for all the replies, be they insulting or helpful.  I think I was probably just in a pissy mood last night.  

I do think the main prob. around here is the small town thing.  You have to drive an hour to find a town with more than 8K people.  

No, I'm not a dick to women, exactly the opposite, I am (or was) the nice guy.  I have come to the conclusion that from now on I will go out and just have a good time and not worry about the other half of the species.  

Thanks again for the comments

Dude you don't have to change the way you dress or what you drive.  Loose the fu*cking attitude, act like a man and quit whining.  Girls can spot confidence a mile away and you don't seem to have any. Grow up, act like a gentleman, and be CONFIDENT in yourself and you'll do fine.  

And thats why we like him!  [smoke]

All women fall into slightly to extreme psycotic attitudes.  Try living with one.  You learn to deal with it.

"thanx" for "reafirming" my strong belief youre a child who cant let shit die and has to hijack peoples threads with personal grudges.

I cant let shit die because you just seem to keep on spewing it every turn you get. I quote "Yet another person dissatisfied with the results when they come here whining about personal problems. My work here is done." FYI people dont come here with personal problems to hear your bitching about how they are soooooo ignorant and how you would handle the situation sooooo perfectly. People come here with thier personal problems to get good sound advice and support not to get pissed on.

you need to get your panties out of that twist they have been in and grow up. you dont have any job here (thank god) but your responability to the other members is to be at least a little bit compassionate.

you ever heard the saying "treat others as you would like to be treated." well im treating you the same way you treat everyone else. so you asked for it. if dont like it then shut your fuckin pie hole once in a while and try to compose a decent reply. [:(!]

Go gay, trust me it is were its at. Mmmmm, bath houses.

i'm kinda old...sorta wise...and i survived the sixties and lived thru disco.

so here's three words of wisdom to live your life by...always remember them and you will be a god among men.

[b]CHICKS DIG JERKS[/b]

BE that jerk and you'll do just fine.

oh, and knock off the personal attacks.

we're all on the same team here.

good luck josh. i'm sure you'll do well in the future with the womenz.

You gotta be smooth, you gotta be Don Juan Delanooch.

What is it, your personal mission to fly around and piss and moan when you don't like the way CA responds to a thread?  Seek help dude, and soon.
Or, you can just post here and wait for someone to come along and hose that sand out of your pussy.

Try being 30 plus,driving a '90 Escort, living with your parents and being unemployed for about three years.  You have it easy, lighten up.  At least girls get in your truck and change the radio.  Last girl that was in my car....


TS

Remember, there is a fine line between "nice guy" and "doormat".  Any woman worth having is looking for a nice guy, but has no interest in taking care of a momma's boy.

That's not to say that there aren't chicks out there who want to pair up with jerks.
These girls are good for recreational sex, but worthless for a relationship because of their emotional baggage.

I think the best advice you've received so far is to take a good long look at yourself and see what you think you need to change to become the man you want to be and work on them.
The other thing is to get the hell out of that small town.   I tried living in a situation where everyone in your life knows everyone else.
Its a no win scenario, trust me.

Id say something but I dont think anyhting else needs to be said.

Well, IMO, moderators: feel free to lock/delete this post.  I think it has ran it's course, a few other guys along with SWIRE had the info I was looking for.  Thanks all.

Josh,

  Next time you see an attractive girl, come up to her and say hello- its a start.  If something happens, then it happens, who gives a rats ass what anyone else thinks.  Go for what you want.
  Well if you dont start a coversation or get a date, ect- Remember what she looks like, her face her body, the way she carries herself, whatever makes her attractive to you.
  Go home take a shower, and jerk off thinking about her... Shit man its the same end result.  Man I am happily married and I fire for effect in the shower every day.
   Meeting girls, not a big deal.  Just my $.01