[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Child support wasted (Page 1 of 5)
Posted: 9/1/2017 12:36:31 AM EDT
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My kid is 17 and child support will end next year. For shits and giggles, I logged in the Texas OAG website to view my payments. One option is to download a PDF of all payments, and it shows the total amount paid.
I'm not going to give the exact amount, but it's enough to buy a nice house here in Houston. A whole house, free and clear. My ex has spent it frivolously. Eating out, getting her nails done, supporting boyfriends, buying new cars. It hasn't gone to putting a roof over my kid's head, because my ex lives with her mommy and daddy. It hasn't gone to supporting my kid, because I've constantly had to buy clothes, school supplies, refill her lunch account, buy her a car, etc. A whole fucking house. Frittered away. There's no point to this thread except that seeing the exact amount shocked me. |
| I feel you OP. been there. when i scratched the last check and she realized the gig was up and the free cash wasn't coming anymore, she told me "fuck you, this is the worst thing you ever did". Ha, how is being homeless bitch? maybe she shouldn't have wasted every penny she ever had. |
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Yeah, money management at it's finest. By choice I didn't stop paying child support until my daughter got married at age 20 and my son moved in with me fulltime at age 19 just because I knew she wasn't spending anywhere near what I paid for support on the kids. When child support stopped her life of champagne wishes and caviar dreams came to a screeching halt. She eventually lost her home to foreclosure and filed bankruptcy.
Living well is the best revenge. Or something like that. eta Only 4 more years of alimony! |
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Ahh child support, Texas OAG and family law.
Fuck it all, it's government support and alimony by another name under threat of jail time. My kid could have have had a college fund or business start up capital if the ex-wife actually had some responsibility. But she is too busy shitting kids out by different guys. Judge don't care, OAG/Texas just wants their enforcement cut from the federal government and fathers get screwed. Trump would understand our plight. He would throw a hand grenade into the system if he did away with Title-IV-D. Reform family law and watch divorce rates plummet when exwives realize they won't be getting primary custody and paychecks |
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Recipients of child support should have to prove to the court how the money was spent each month. |
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Child support payments should be applied as credit to a credit card. No cash advances allowed, the payee should get monthly statements and should be able to file an online dispute if it's used for purchases unrelated to the child's needs. |
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I feel you OP. been there. when i scratched the last check and she realized the gig was up and the free cash wasn't coming anymore, she told me "fuck you, this is the worst thing you ever did". Ha, how is being homeless bitch? maybe she shouldn't have wasted every penny she ever had. |
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I have a stepson, who coincidentally turned 18 today. When my wife and his father got divorced, she was awarded a whopping $108 a month in child support. Throughout the years, the ex has progressed and makes a very solid living. We got letters from Texas all the time basically begging her to go back and request more support since he made more money.
She refused, and I support her in that 100%. We didn't need the money. $108 a month is MORE than enough to support half a kid. Since we didn't need it, my son has nearly $50k in investments he doesn't even know he has. He enlisted in the Marine Corps. He ships out in November. I imagine he'll be surprised when he graduates boot and we hand him the account info.... |
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Sounds about right. Next year you will be free, and your Ex will start calling you a terrible person for not continuing to pay her. To your kids. Number of times I've spoke ill of my ex to my kid: Zero. Number of time I've spoke ill of my ex to anyone else: Too numerous to count. |
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Serious question: How is she doing after the gravy train stopped? Quoted:
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I feel you OP. been there. when i scratched the last check and she realized the gig was up and the free cash wasn't coming anymore, she told me "fuck you, this is the worst thing you ever did". Ha, how is being homeless bitch? maybe she shouldn't have wasted every penny she ever had. Why do you ask? .... nevermind you are op. I didn't realize. Just thinking about her got me all defensive. Edit: added last line. |
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My kid is 17 and child support will end next year. For shits and giggles, I logged in the Texas OAG website to view my payments. One option is to download a PDF of all payments, and it shows the total amount paid. I'm not going to give the exact amount, but it's enough to buy a nice house here in Houston. A whole house, free and clear. My ex has spent it frivolously. Eating out, getting her nails done, supporting boyfriends, buying new cars. It hasn't gone to putting a roof over my kid's head, because my ex lives with her mommy and daddy. It hasn't gone to supporting my kid, because I've constantly had to buy clothes, school supplies, refill her lunch account, buy her a car, etc. A whole fucking house. Frittered away. There's no point to this thread except that seeing the exact amount shocked me. |
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It stands to reason that if ex-wife's lifestyle changes when child support ends, then the ex-wife has been stealing from the child. Hopefully, your child will come to this realization. She's so mature in some ways, and she said she knows her mom's lifestyle is going to implode. She also said she's worried her mom will try to sponge off her as an adult. |
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Not good. Daughter moved as soon as she could. She burned every bridge she had. She is not liking the real world of earning what you get. Why do you ask? .... nevermind you are op. I didn't realize. Just thinking about her got me all defensive. Edit: added last line. Maybe that makes me a bad person, to take joy in another's pain, but I'm not apologizing. |
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Occasionally, some threads in GD make me sorry we didn't have kids when I was married years ago. This isn't one of them.
I don't mean to sound like I'm gloating. I am sorry for all you guys who have been through the wringer with the courts at the hands of ex-wives and their lawyers. It can't have been easy and I'll never understand or appreciate the sacrifices you all have made to help your kids and comply with the courts. Good on ya for doing it though. Hopefully, your kids are at least somewhat better off. |
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I here you, i have 17 years left for my two boys and i am willing to bet that the end result for my ex will not be so much different than yours, squandered on dumb shit. i went from 90k per year to about 65k per year during the Obama draw down, and she couldn't and can not understand cutting back. The mortgage for the house i bought as the height of the market was an ass kicker with the pay cut, and she could not comprehend not taking a couple vacations a year among other things.
fast forward to today, we are amicable, and the time that i am spending in the middle east right now is going to be spend sureing up the next 20 years, Debt, savings, investment, property, ect... Ill be back by the time the boys are in 1st grade or so. i am very open about not being crushed by a mortgage which was a major factor in the decline of the marriage and have intentions on getting a mobile home/prefab/trailer/modular home and having that bitch paid off right from the door. a quarter acre and 1200-1400 square feet is what it is no matter what way you cut it. when i suggested that she should consider doing the same, she balked at it and said she could never live like that. she is currently renting a luxury townhouse for around 1600 a month before utilities without a nickle to her name. she is a teacher and i give her 1600 a month. I am not at all bitter, my boys will have a nice play to stay while i am overseas, and about 17 years down the road, ill have a modest house that has been long paid off, a nice amount of property in WV and a nice retirement, she will have nothing. no pension because like her marriage, she was never content with her choice and has bounced around. She cashed out her 401k to move into her townhouse. her parents who moved in with us well before the separation are currently living with her. her mother watches our boys, the dad is waiting for a big job that will never come, he is too proud to go to home depot and stock shelves or something. best part of the whole thing, they have 80 plus paintings/artwork from artist ranging from Rothco to Picaso, over a 100 Persian rugs bought in Dubai, at least 4 rolex's, a handfull of other expensive his and hers watches, countless high end bags like LV, Gucci, and channel. i am almost certain that they could liquidate assets and at the very least get into a nice, doublewide trailer, and live comfortable. save some money for a few years, then maybe get something nice. Nope full speed ahead... |
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The reason is that I wanted to live vicariously through you for a bit. Maybe that makes me a bad person, but I'm not apologizing. Pay what you have to and love your child. You are almost there. When you are done with her Treat yourself with something you would not normally spend money on. I remember less than a year. |
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All fathers should when they ask for help in college. Quoted:
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You should print out that report and give it to your daughter and ask her how much of that benefited her. I can't hold what happened against my kid. I plan to help my kid in college, just like I planned all along to help my kid as a child. I would be able to help her more with college if I wasn't being robbed, but I can't help that. |
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It could be worse.
I became interested in the family courts after I saw a friend of mine destroyed. We're not talking your average divorcee, this guy was a "winner". ...until he wasn't. He divorced in the early 00's, gave up his primary home to his ex, including all furniture and toys. ...no problem. He also paid for his kids private school tuition, healthcare, and paid a monthly child support payment after taxes, that is more than most arfommers make. That went on for many years, then 2007-2009 brought some challenges. The guy had a string of "business setbacks", you might say a perfect storm of bad luck. But, he maintained his luxury child support. He tightened his belt. Sold his property, sold his toys, liquidated his investments. Finally, when things weren't turning around for him, he tried to negotiate with his ex. She wouldn't have it, so she, and her attorney, took their "private divorce"...to the government. Child Support Services got involved. Though he provided his children with a home, that he had paid for, and that he maintained enough income stream to provide for their the utilities, food, their clothes and insurance, he couldn't quit float the $45k annual private school tuition. ...and for that his house was surrounded in a multi-agency task force, he was cuffed and arrested, and taken to jail. His ex's lover from a wealthy Jewish family had pulled some strings and had some friends in law enforcement round him up during a publicity "sexual offenders" warrant round-up. It made the news, his mugshot and all. You can't quite overcome that. My friend was destroyed. |
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For what benefit? A stab at my ex? Yeah I'll do that here with you guys, but I don't see the point with my kid. Quoted:
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You should print out that report and give it to your daughter and ask her how much of that benefited her. "You asked me one time about the child support I was paying....Here's the totals." |
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It could be worse. I became interested in the family courts after I saw a friend of mine destroyed. We're not talking your average divorcee, this guy was a "winner". ...until he wasn't. He divorced in the early 00's, gave up his primary home to his ex, including all furniture and toys. ...no problem. He also paid for his kids private school tuition, healthcare, and paid a monthly child support payment after taxes, that is more than most arfommers make. That went on for many years, then 2007-2009 brought some challenges. The guy had a string of "business setbacks", you might say a perfect storm of bad luck. But, he maintained his luxury child support. He tightened his belt. Sold his property, sold his toys, liquidated his investments. Finally, when things weren't turning around for him, he tried to negotiate with his ex. She wouldn't have it, so she, and her attorney, took their "private divorce"...to the government. Child Support Services got involved. Though he provided his children with a home, that he had paid for, and that he maintained enough income stream to provide for their the utilities, food, their clothes and insurance, he couldn't quit float the $45k annual private school tuition. ...and for that his house was surrounded in a multi-agency task force, he was cuffed and arrested, and taken to jail. His ex's lover from a wealthy Jewish family had pulled some strings and had some friends in law enforcement round him up during a publicity "sexual offenders" warrant round-up. It made the news, his mugshot and all. You can't quite overcome that. My friend was destroyed. I think I missed something. |
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My ex took me back to court one year ago today! They took close to 400 more out of my check per month. My daughter graduated in June of 2016, so she took me back to have it raised. She found out I had gotten a raise ..
I was hit hard because that 400 was for me and my kids. I spent it more wisely in them than she did. She's a financial mess. Well it's been a year since that day and also a year since my daughter has spoken to me. The ex told her if she continued talking to me, she wouldn't help her at college with the money she got. I no longer had a way to help my daughter with expenses cause I had told my daughter I would give her 200 a month. I ended up taking a job at Gander Mountain and her dumb ass attorney intentionally took 5 months to send the letter to my primary job. They continued deducting and took my IRS refund because I was arrears. It was a mess. My son is in band and I had to sell some guns and pawn the few I didn't want to give up. I figured I would get them out with the 2017 tax refund. Then that was gone. I have always paid for things my kids needed for school. She wouldn't. September 2016 was looking bad. Things got a little better when the Gander job came. Then... I met my girlfriend. She and I went to High school together and she had gone through a hard chapter. She lost her husband to an oilfield accident a few years ago. She and I started talking and saw the type of man I am. She is well off due to the lawsuits and has helped me out in so many ways. I found out 3 weeks ago that my ex is pregnant. Pregnant at 40!!!! My son turns 18 in 2019 and she doesn't get a cent of the 1000 they are taking anymore. People who know her think she got pregnant again so she can keep getting child support. I feel sorry for the guy she's taking to court. Cause if it's the guy I'm thinking , he's about late 40s and is already paying for two little girls. She is pure evil. We have been divorced since 2002. Best thing is come today I enjoy another raise and she can't take me back to court for 3 years which by then my son will be 18 and with me. He can't stand her . I have more things than I did before. I have money now in my pocket and guns in the safe to replace those I lost. Just remember. Never give up guys. A year ago I thought I was going to be in bad shape, but it has turned around for me. I miss my daughter like hell though. It's so sad. She has a beautiful heart, but it got twisted like her mothers. |
[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Child support wasted (Page 1 of 5)
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