Warning

 

Close

Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Confirm Cancel
Member Login
Site Notices
9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 8/3/2005 3:50:31 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/3/2005 3:50:31 PM EDT by JAFO]

> > > This insults just about everyone................sorry.
> > >
> > > DEMOCRATIC
> > > You have two cows.
> > > Your neighbor has none.
> > > You feel guilty for being successful.
> > > Barbara Streisand sings for you.
> > >
> > > REPUBLICANISM
> > >
> > > You have two cows.
> > > Your neighbor has none.
> > > So?
> > >
> > > SOCIALIST
> > >
> > > You have two cows.
> > > The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
> > > You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
> > >
> > > COMMUNIST
> > >
> > > You have two cows.
> > > The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
> > > You wait in line for hours to get it.
> > > It is expensive and sour.
> > >
> > > CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
> > >
> > > You have two cows.
> > > You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
> > >
> > > BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
> > >
> > > You have two cows.
> > > Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot
one, milk the
> > > other, and then pours the milk down the drain.
> > >
> > > AMERICAN CORPORATION
> > >
> > > You have two cows.
> > > You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on
> > > the
2nd one.
> > > You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
> > > You
are surprised
> > > when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the
analysts stating
> > > you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
> > > Your stock goes up.
> > >
> > > FRENCH CORPORATION
> > >
> > > You have two cows.
> > > You go on strike because you want three cows.
> > > You go to lunch and drink wine.
> > > Life is good.
> > >
> > > JAPANESE CORPORATION
> > >
> > > You have two cows.
> > > You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
> > > ordinary
cow and
> > > produce twenty times the milk.
> > > They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
> > > Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
> > >
> > > GERMAN CORPORATION
> > >
> > > You have two cows.
> > > You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of
> > > beer,
give excellent
> > > quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
> > > Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
> > >
> > > ITALIAN CORPORATION
> > >
> > > You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
> > > While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
> > > You break for lunch.
> > > Life is good.
> > >
> > > RUSSIAN CORPORATION
> > >
> > > You have two cows.
> > > You have some vodka.
> > > You count them and learn you have five cows.
> > > You have some more vodka.
> > > You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
> > > The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you
> > > really
have.
> > >
> > > TALIBAN CORPORATION
> > >
> > > You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
> > > You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature'
private parts.
> > > You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find
alternatives to
> > > milk production but use the money to buy weapons.
> > >
> > > IRAQI CORPORATION
> > >
> > > You have two cows.
> > > They go into hiding.
> > > They send radio tapes of their mooing.
> > >
> > > POLISH CORPORATION
> > >
> > > You have two bulls.
> > > Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to
> > > milk
them.
> > >
> > > BELGIAN CORPORATION
> > >
> > > You have one cow.
> > > The cow is schizophrenic.
> > > Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
> > > The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
> > > The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
> > > The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
> > > The cow dies happy.
> > >
> > > FLORIDA CORPORATION
> > >
> > > You have a black cow and a brown cow.
> > > Everyone votes for the best looking one.
> > > Some of the people who actually like the brown one best
accidentally vote
> > > for the black one.
> > > Some people vote for both.
> > > Some people vote for neither.
> > > Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
> > > Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which
> > > one
you think is
> > > the best-looking cow.
> > >
> > > CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
> > >
> > > You have millions of cows.
> > > They make real California cheese.
> > > Only five speak English.
> > > Most are illegals.
> > > Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
>
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 12:32:29 PM EDT
Thanks, that was great!
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 12:38:28 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 3:32:41 PM EDT
That was too good!
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 7:16:33 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 7:26:28 PM EDT
mOOO!
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 7:31:32 PM EDT
lol
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 7:38:39 PM EDT
Oldie but goodie.

In before the dupe police.
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 8:08:49 PM EDT
old but still very funny
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 8:15:03 PM EDT
Moo
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 8:15:09 PM EDT
That was nice man.
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 8:18:40 PM EDT

Car!
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 8:19:43 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 8:26:30 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 8:26:45 PM EDT
Top Top