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Posted: 3/25/2001 8:42:27 PM EDT
Just heard from my brother. This weekend he found that his wife had obtained several credit cards in his name.

The damage passed the $25,000 mark this morning.  He's currently looking for a lawyer.

Anything like this ever happened to anyone here?
Any non-AR15 related suggestion?
Link Posted: 3/26/2001 5:54:56 PM EDT
Link Posted: 3/26/2001 5:59:51 PM EDT
The bad news?  He's responsible as long as they are married and no divorce papers, separation agreement has been filed.  

Why hasn't he gotten a lawyer already?  Did he know this was coming?  Tell him to get a good, reputable divorce lawyer.  Whatever he spends in legal fees should be made up in the settlement.

Also I would recommend getting in contact with those credit card companies and explaining the situation.  Cancel the cards, etc.

Also ask Steve in VA in the legal forum.

Good luck!  Even a so-called friendly divorce is horrible.
Link Posted: 3/26/2001 6:08:02 PM EDT
Don't forget the restraining or other order which prevents her continuing to use his name.  He should be able to sue her for the expences.  
[}:d]Bitch from Hell[}:d]
Link Posted: 3/26/2001 6:08:24 PM EDT
Thanks, Miss M.

Thisngs have been kinda rocky for a while, but he was trying to work it out.  Most of the problems were over money.  When they sat down this weekend to try to figure out why they couldn't make ends meet, she pops him with:

1. It's worse than you think because there's credit cards I use that you didn't know about.
2. I've been working with a lawyer, and am going to file for divorce.
3. It's all your fault because you never loved me...that's why I had to spend the money and hide it from you.

My brother is crushed....emotionally and financially.  Found a lawyer this morning.  Still trying to get info from Credit Reporting Agencies to asses the damage.
Link Posted: 3/26/2001 6:12:03 PM EDT
Link Posted: 3/26/2001 6:31:25 PM EDT
But you're not bitter, right, Ed?  [;)]
Link Posted: 3/26/2001 6:34:25 PM EDT
He may or may not be responsible for the credit cards, depending on state law.  In my state he would not be.

But the divorce court judge could order him to pay them; it might depend on why the charges were incurred.
Link Posted: 3/26/2001 6:43:00 PM EDT
Same thing happened to me.  Answered the phone one evening, a credit card company wanting to know if the payment had been sent.  I didn't even know I had a card with their company.  She fessed up to two cards, maxed at $2500 each.  The next day, she confessed to the one maxed at $20,000.

Since most of the charges were cash advances, there was nothing to return for credit.  Since we were married at the time, all the debts were considered "marital debts."  A 50/50 split at best.  Thank goodness she worked, otherwise I'd have had to pay for her lawyer too.

I didn't file charges against her for forgery since the credit card company couldn't supply me with the signed original application.

Basically you add up the marital assets, add up the marital debts, then divide them along income lines (his income/her income) or however that state does it.  That's the part that really sucks.  To just get my X to sign, I took all the credit card debt.  

My legal fees, at $125/hour, hit $12,000 and we never argued the case in front of a judge.  That would have doubled the costs.

If both parties are willing to act like humans, that's the best possible case.  Sounds like she's angry, so it's gonna be a bitch.

Ed, my X bought Beanie Babies by the case after we separated.  What's THAT all about?
Link Posted: 3/26/2001 6:43:14 PM EDT
C'mon, Ed Sr.!  That $40,000 investment is down to $3,000 now.  $3,000 sounds like a bargain, no?
Link Posted: 3/26/2001 6:51:04 PM EDT
I share his pain, oh lordy, how I share his pain.

The Court told me, "If you are married, then she is your agent and may legally sign your name". [rolleyes] So I got to pay for this (I'm going to be kind here) Females clothes and jewelry. [pissed]

Other than some vehicle infraction's of the law I have never been in violation of the Law, in my life.

I told the Judge that day and I do quote myself, "This is not a court of law, nor a court of justice. This is a C---'s charity group!" Judge replied, "you are real close to going to jail", my return reply, "There are other venue's in which justice can be found, if you make it neccessary, I will seek out those venue's". I didn't go to jail that day and I do believe the judge found Fear-of-the-Lord, in my eye's that day!
Link Posted: 3/26/2001 7:06:03 PM EDT
Link Posted: 3/26/2001 7:27:09 PM EDT
My oldest son got a divorce a year ago. He went back to their house after being at my house for a week and he found that his wife taken all of his firearms and tossed them in the trash. 5 handguns and 11 longguns two of which where AR's. Two this day he has never gotten anyone of them back. That SUCKS.

red man
Link Posted: 3/26/2001 10:23:16 PM EDT
Red Man,

Gotta be a law against leaving guns out like that.  Wonder if he can get her arrested?
Link Posted: 3/26/2001 10:48:23 PM EDT
My bro's wife did the same thing to him. Got him into debt for $40k with credit cards. Shopped at Target every day, buying the kids toys. Kept them a month, threw them away, and then back to Target. They're staying together because of the kids. He got what he asked for, so I have no pity for him.
Link Posted: 3/26/2001 11:03:54 PM EDT
You'll like this one.  His wife spent $1800 at a concert ticket broker.  Wanted to get her parents 2 tickets to see Placedo Domingo, and figured she'd score some Eric Clapton tickets while she was there.  Where the hell is the concert? Spain!?!?!?!?
Link Posted: 3/26/2001 11:44:23 PM EDT
There are many credit protection services which keep you advised of whenever somebody checks out your credit.  Like when somebody issues you credit.  TRW "Essentials" is one, IIRC.  Make sure that it is paid for in advance, not on a common CC, and notifies a private email account.

It's worth it.
Link Posted: 3/26/2001 11:53:04 PM EDT
Thanks, Cible, I'll let him know.....for NEXT time.
Link Posted: 3/26/2001 11:53:27 PM EDT
This happened to a buddy of mine a few years ago. His wife stuck him with over $35k in debts he knew nothing about. After their divorce,she laughed in his face at the courthouse. She said he can pay that off in a few years. The wife and her mother were laughing their butts off at him. He just looked at her and told her it would be better for her to pay it off. He reminded them that he still had her life/accident policy up to date. He reminded them that it was for $200k, and that there were a lot hit and run drivers in the city.He told her that since she was a big time jogger, chances were very high that he would be able to collect on the "big money" and pay off her screw job she did to him..... The wife repaid all the money within a years time.
Link Posted: 3/26/2001 11:55:18 PM EDT
My ex paid for her lawyer with the credit card.

The courts did rule that she had to pay the bill though.  The only problem was the courts let her pay it with other money they let her steal from me.
Link Posted: 3/27/2001 12:02:16 AM EDT
Man I am so lucky to have my wife....she is the kind of girl that wouldn't even tell a white lie.  Thank you GOD.  
Link Posted: 3/27/2001 12:33:50 AM EDT
Try $40,000 in......Beanie Babies![:(!]
View Quote

So that is YOU at all the gunshows trying to sell off those stupid things! :)

I'll help ya out and buy one next time I'm there, but only if ya got some of the Grateful Dead ones left, or beanie babies that are holding beanie-guns, I'm not too picky.
Link Posted: 3/27/2001 12:45:06 AM EDT
Oh man, are these the kinds of nightmares I have to look forward to if I get me a womenz? What other wonderful things will happen?
Link Posted: 3/27/2001 1:24:49 AM EDT
Oh I know this story all too well. Ask him how it feels to be a meal ticket. I know it did not set too well for me.

Even if the retainer for a lawyer is 1k, that is a bargen!

Link Posted: 3/27/2001 2:13:16 AM EDT
Try $40,000 in......Beanie Babies![:(!]
View Quote

[b] Look on the bright side, Ed; Beanies make excellent targets!!!!!!!!!!!!![/b] [sniper]      [:D] Milldude
Link Posted: 3/27/2001 2:37:07 AM EDT
What is it with F-ing women and credit cards???  My stupid a$$ed wife has ran through more money on credit cards over the years that I cant count it all.  I cant get her to stop at all.  I just fairly recently found she did it again with 2 cards, one with MY name, unknown to me, on it somehow, and was paying nothing on them but using the hell out of them.  When I discovered the debt I nearly went through the roof then found she had ran our bank accounts empty and was bouncing checks everywhere.  She nearly lost our house, twice, and has zero credit.  I took everything away from her, pay all the bills myself, got my own checking account and got rid of my own credit card that also had her name on it because she stole it from me and ran up additional thousands, separate from the other cards, on it to cover other debts she had created from bouncing checks and not paying bills and to get a collection agency off her back.  Thank God for overtime or I would have lost everything.  She had to go to a Consumer Credit company to consolidate her credit cards so she can manage to repay them and works 2 jobs now.  I never let her forget, every damn day, what she has done.  I know its cruel but she did the same thing with credit cards 10 years ago and obviously never learned her lesson.  I will NEVER NEVER F-ING NEVER let a woman touch ANY of my money ever again!!!!!!!  Women in general have absolutely no concept of money or paying bills.  The tirade McUzi went on recently about women having no value beyond sex is seeming to be completely true, as far as I am concerned.

Hey Imbroglio, if you were smart you would just use your hand instead of getting some woman who will destroy you and make you WISH you had just used your hand instead.
Link Posted: 3/27/2001 2:50:12 AM EDT
So your responsible for all the beannie babies at gun shows
Link Posted: 3/27/2001 2:52:43 AM EDT
When the ex left me over 10 years ago, I was left with about 30K in debts besides house mortgage while she went to live with her boyfriend.
Immediately all credit cards were cancelled along with her name taken off checking and savings accounts. Also called all creditors and told them from this day forward I would'nt be responsible for any debt incurred by the estranged wife.
Since I was the one to do all paperwork on assets and bills, I naturally made it to my favor. Got the house, vehicles and everything left in the house.
I had a big yard sale to sell her personal property. What didn't sell was given to charity and I took the tax write off.
The only issue I didn't win was custody of the children but that is to be expected.
I have 6 years left to deal with her because of the children. After that, she is but a fading memory of years wasted.
When I met my new wife 5 years ago, I looked for someone exactly opposite of what was had. Absolutely very few problems in a marriage where you can trust your mate.
Link Posted: 3/27/2001 3:36:03 AM EDT
Geez, I'm getting married in less than 2 weeks and now you guys have me scared. Actually, I think I might be one of the lucky few. My fiancee doesn't believe in credit. In fact, I asked here to get her first credit card last year (at age 33) so she can establish a credit history for our future home purchase. Since then she's charged 3 items and the last one was my wedding band.
Link Posted: 3/27/2001 4:10:54 AM EDT
Write to the three major credit reporting companies and request that a "victim of fraud" statement be added to your credit file.

Anyone attempting to obtain credit will be advised to contact you and obtain your permission before extending credit.



Link Posted: 3/27/2001 4:54:28 AM EDT
I'm getting married in 4 weeks and you guys are scaring me too.  My S.O is the better one with the money, though. I spend it all.  She feels bad about spending more than $60 without telling me about it.  She doesn't particularly care for Credit Cards either.
Mattja, congrats, good luck, etc.
FatMan, hope it works out with your brother.
Link Posted: 3/27/2001 5:10:01 AM EDT
My Father always told me "Don't get married, get a dog". It wasn't bad advice.
Link Posted: 3/27/2001 8:42:48 AM EDT
Yikes, I did both last year (wife and dog).  Actually in my new family the wife is the money maker so she has the most to lose.

We actually have separate accounts and treat the wedding like an equal partnership.  Of course she is more equal than I am. [;)]

We have our own bedrooms as well.  We never sleep apart but it is just nice to have your own space.  I reccommend it.
Link Posted: 3/27/2001 8:53:43 AM EDT
good advice, that's what we've done (even living in sin [:D]).  And it does help.  Except she likes to come in and use my machines to surf the web.  Guess I'll have to upgrade her machine so I can keep her out more!
Link Posted: 3/28/2001 7:55:10 PM EDT
Seems like several of us have traveled the same road.  My advice (to paraphrase): "Trust but verify".  It is a good idea to remain very involved with finances because if your spouse decides to "make other plans", once you begin to suspect a problem, significant financial shenanigans probably have already taken place.

If you have kids, of course they are the main consideration.  You can always get more money...  

After the big D, you will probably find that you are better off (even after giving away half of your assets) and that it costs you less to pay support than it does to maintain a relationship in which your spouse has determined that he/she is "entitled" to a standard of living that is beyond your means.

Link Posted: 3/29/2001 5:13:40 AM EDT

Thanks for the tip. I've passed it on to my brother.

His attitude at this point is, "This is not complicated, we have a house that we'll lose money on, and loads of debt.  Just get me outta this marriage without having to declare bankruptcy."  

Sounds like her lawyer is a hard-ass.  Advised her not to seek work (was never a steady worker anyway).  Took a $7500 retainer!  Sounds like he knows she's a flake and is trying to pry as much money out of the situation as possible.
Link Posted: 3/29/2001 5:37:09 AM EDT
Link Posted: 3/29/2001 5:45:51 AM EDT
Link Posted: 4/5/2001 7:30:35 AM EDT

Spoke to my brother.  His wife approached him about a reconciliation.  OK, fair enough.  They have a civil discussion about the issues and will talk again.

2 hour later he gets a notification from Equifax that she just applied for a Discover Card in his name!

Man, you just can't make this stuff up!
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