Warning

 

Close

Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Confirm Cancel
Member Login

Site Notices
Posted: 5/13/2004 6:53:45 AM EST
Bar Wench! Bring Me More Ale!


Back in my younger days, myself and a few buddies were getting drunk in Yuma at a bar called The Office. As he was setting down an empty long neck bottle of Coors, and in a loud clear voice, my highly intoxicated friend Rodney Page "politely" asked the middle aged female bartender for another cold beer...

I thought that woman was going to kill us all.


Anyone else have a similar experience or two?
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 6:57:16 AM EST
One of my crazier drinking buddies used to ask pretty barmaids

"Hey - you're pretty! Want to come to my place and screw?"

(which always got a dirty look at best - sometimes a not-so-polite No!)

And then he'd say

"So I suppose a blow job here is out of the question too, huh?"
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 6:58:38 AM EST
I said that to girlfriends while drunk numerous times, hmm probably why I'm single
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 7:01:57 AM EST
Got thrown out of a bar once for not being nice to the bar-maid. A couple of buddies of mine and I were bar hopping on a hunting trip in Northern Michigan, and got to our third watering hole. I'm a lightweight so I was pretty looped already when we got there. We sat down at the bar and I swear, the barmaid had the biggest tit's I have ever seen-Elsie the cow couldn't live in this woman's shadow!

Anyway, she works her way over to us and asks what we're having and I looked at them, looked at her and said: "Got Milk?" Man, she didn't even ask for help-she bounced me out on my ass like you wouldn't believe!

Dave
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 7:16:35 AM EST
[Last Edit: 5/13/2004 7:17:00 AM EST by Mmanwitgun]

Originally Posted By TheOtherDave:
We sat down at the bar and I swear, the barmaid had the biggest tit's I have ever seen-Elsie the cow couldn't live in this woman's shadow!

Anyway, she works her way over to us and asks what we're having and I looked at them, looked at her and said: "Got Milk?"



From one Dave to the other... I would have probably done the exact same thing
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 7:29:18 AM EST
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 7:43:02 AM EST

Originally Posted By TheOtherDave:
Got thrown out of a bar once for not being nice to the bar-maid. A couple of buddies of mine and I were bar hopping on a hunting trip in Northern Michigan, and got to our third watering hole. I'm a lightweight so I was pretty looped already when we got there. We sat down at the bar and I swear, the barmaid had the biggest tit's I have ever seen-Elsie the cow couldn't live in this woman's shadow!

Anyway, she works her way over to us and asks what we're having and I looked at them, looked at her and said: "Got Milk?" Man, she didn't even ask for help-she bounced me out on my ass like you wouldn't believe!

Dave



My wife used to bartend at an Applebee's in VA Beach. She is pretty well endowed.

If she had come home and told me a story like this, I would have laughed my ass off!

Big tittie jokes are the best.
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 7:46:42 AM EST
got thorwn out of a bar once, ok more than once but this time i walked in and asked the bartender.

can i smell your pussy??

she looked all shocked and said no

i said, must be your feet


true story
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 7:55:50 AM EST
I have had some interesting bar experiences.....trust me

Bigscrun + Jager + Hot chicks= the dumbass show
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 8:16:16 AM EST
I recall being cut off at a bar at a ski resort. We were referring to the waitress as "Hey You-without the tits..."

Link Posted: 5/13/2004 8:18:28 AM EST

Originally Posted By bigscrun:
I have had some interesting bar experiences.....trust me

Bigscrun + Jager + Hot chicks= the dumbass show



You gotta try Jager mixed with Goldschlager
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 8:22:32 AM EST
i had lots of good stories, but then i killed all those brain cells..................
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 8:46:52 AM EST

Originally Posted By Mmanwitgun:

Originally Posted By TheOtherDave:
We sat down at the bar and I swear, the barmaid had the biggest tit's I have ever seen-Elsie the cow couldn't live in this woman's shadow!

Anyway, she works her way over to us and asks what we're having and I looked at them, looked at her and said: "Got Milk?"



From one Dave to the other... I would have probably done the exact same thing



From yet another Dave to the other... DAMN!!!! That is funny!
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 8:49:38 AM EST

Originally Posted By tequilabob:
got thorwn out of a bar once, ok more than once but this time i walked in and asked the bartender.

can i smell your pussy??

she looked all shocked and said no

i said, must be your feet


true story



You owe me 3 oz of Pepsi and a new keyboard!! That one will be remembered!
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 8:51:19 AM EST

Originally Posted By Aimless:
I live in a pretty small town, being a jerk to the bartenders is very uncool.


+1 . Even moreso given the little lady is oneof the bartenders here .

True story I was sitting at the bar haveing a beer , and this guy comes up next to me and sits down and orders a beer. He was served and as she was walking away he says to me "Will you look at the ass on her ?I would so fuck her brains out ." I told him I agree she does have a nice ass. we made some small talk and he says." I heard she has a boyfriend and he is a preaty bad mother fucker ."I chuckled at him and said " He's a punk . Hell man I bet you a beer I can get her to come home and fuck me tonight."He said OK . When she came back by I ordered a beer and said ." When you get out of work tonight I am takeing you home and fucking your brains out ." She smiles and says "Ok."He paid for my beer . My friend came up a minute later and let him in on the fact that I am the boyfriend he was talking about . " He got a little pissy at first and said"That isn't fair.""I just laughed and said " Remeber I'm a bad motherfucker ." He actually turned out to be a real cool guy , and we kicked back and had a few more that night .
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 9:08:42 AM EST

Originally Posted By Kodiak-AK:

Originally Posted By Aimless:
I live in a pretty small town, being a jerk to the bartenders is very uncool.


+1 . Even moreso given the little lady is oneof the bartenders here .

True story I was sitting at the bar haveing a beer , and this guy comes up next to me and sits down and orders a beer. He was served and as she was walking away he says to me "Will you look at the ass on her ?I would so fuck her brains out ." I told him I agree she does have a nice ass. we made some small talk and he says." I heard she has a boyfriend and he is a preaty bad mother fucker ."I chuckled at him and said " He's a punk . Hell man I bet you a beer I can get her to come home and fuck me tonight."He said OK . When she came back by I ordered a beer and said ." When you get out of work tonight I am takeing you home and fucking your brains out ." She smiles and says "Ok."He paid for my beer . My friend came up a minute later and let him in on the fact that I am the boyfriend he was talking about . " He got a little pissy at first and said"That isn't fair.""I just laughed and said " Remeber I'm a bad motherfucker ." He actually turned out to be a real cool guy , and we kicked back and had a few more that night .



A girl that can get you free beer is a true keeper.
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 9:21:01 AM EST
[Last Edit: 5/13/2004 9:22:28 AM EST by u-baddog]
My brothers bachelor party, u-baddog as the best man of course
6 guys all rock climbers hitting a few strip clubs on the way to West Virginia to go rock climbing for the last free weekend of my brothers life.
The last titty bar before we hit the campsite was key because this is were we get tore up.
Tom (my brother) is hammered when we get there. I sit him at the runway and throw a couple of dollars out in front of him and go to get him a beer. I got a couple of beers and on my way back to him and I see the dancer slut jump up (she was backed in to his nose) and scream " WHAT DID YOU SAY? “ to Tom. Tom stand up yells back at her " I SAID BRING ME A BEER WENCH " This stupid bitch didnt know what a Wench was and she started YELLING for the bouncer to kick these MUTHERFUCKERS out. Bouncer was one of the bigger humans I have ever seen. As he was doing his best to waddle over to the runway I stepped in and said dont worry I would take care of it. Bouncer pushed me down . It went down hill fast after that 6 guys, 1 bouncer, and a girl tending the bar. The guy we were with LOVED to fight. I barley made it to my feet before they were all over the bouncer. We tore that place a new asshole and made a clean get away in the VW camper van. Brother fucked his hand up so NO climbing for him for a while.

AHH the good old days, I am glad they are gone.
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 9:29:06 AM EST
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 9:46:41 AM EST

Originally Posted By Aimless:
You escapted in a VW camper van, LOL did they have unicycles or skateboards?




Link Posted: 5/13/2004 9:50:37 AM EST

Originally Posted By Aimless:
You escapted in a VW camper van, LOL did they have unicycles or skateboards?



Hey that camper hauls ass DOWN the mountains.
Link Posted: 5/13/2004 10:01:52 AM EST

Originally Posted By Mmanwitgun:

Originally Posted By bigscrun:
I have had some interesting bar experiences.....trust me

Bigscrun + Jager + Hot chicks= the dumbass show



You gotta try Jager mixed with Goldschlager



I am a Jager Redbull drinker, but the best is:

Double shot of Jager (ice cold) with a Heineken mhmmm, mhmmm good!
Top Top