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SCOTTISH courts are dealing with an ever growing collection of fetishists.

In September 2003, pervert Ian Curtis was caught having sex with a frozen chicken.

When he was discovered by his wife Jean, the former military policeman, 42, of Glasgow, was dressed in a skirt, silk blouse and rubber stockings.

Jean, who later divorced him, shouted at her hubby: 'You dirty b ****** , that's my Sunday lunch.'

In the same year, farmer Darran Emms, 35, was caught having sex with the family's Rhodesian Ridgeback dog by his pregnant wife Suzanne.

In 1999, a pervert nicknamed Dr Strangeglove was jailed for a year.

David Clark, 23, of Hurlford, Ayrshire, tried to force women to wear leather and rubber gloves. In 2002, Ross Watt appeared in court charged with having sex with a traffic cone and a shoe.

The 33-year-old, of Edinburgh, who was being watched by a crowd, was remanded in custody pending a psychiatric report.

In February 2003, officers arrested oddball Michael Bramham, who duped an Edinburgh woman into letting him cover her feet with baked beans.

The 25-year-old conman claimed he was trying to raise cash for Comic Relief.

In 1997, David Blackwood, of Ayrshire, was arrested for his hairdresser fetish.

The 33-year-old admitted flashing at stylists and then doing a runner from their shops.

In 1993, Karl Watkins was jailed for 18 months for trying to have sex with pavements.

The electrician was just 21 when he indulged in his bizarre sexual fantasy

What about that one guy who sat on a frozen trout?

Wasn't he just fishing and slipped on a rock or somethinghinking.gif

I guess there's not much to do in Scotland.

Well,

I guess this proves you can have sex with anything....

a traffic cone and a shoe

 I just don't understand.

Now, the baked beans I could get into.

At least they aren't building private amusement parks and having sex with little boys

Actually, that's not a very impressive list.  A couple of perverts from 2003 and a few more from the 1990s.  Those Scots better get hopping if they want to live up to the hype of rising fetish crimes.  

In 1993, Karl Watkins was jailed for 18 months for trying to have sex with pavements.

Gives new meaning to the slogan "Where the rubber meets the road."

Quoted: In 1993, Karl Watkins was jailed for 18 months for trying to have sex with pavements. Gives new meaning to the slogan "Where the rubber meets the road."

Road Rash: the new Scottish STD

Quoted: In 1993, Karl Watkins was jailed for 18 months for trying to have sex with pavements. Gives new meaning to the slogan "Where the rubber meets the road."

How is that even possible? I mean wtf... I mean hell.

he fucked a road?!!?, how the fuck do you shag a street?

mmmmmmkay

Quoted: he fucked a road?!!?, how the fuck do you shag a street?

Lots of potholes i guess.  personall i prefer pieholes....but i guess if you like potholes........

Quoted: a traffic cone and a shoe  I just don't understand. Now, the baked beans I could get into.

Hell I remember being 16 many years ago and I would have dry humped a knothole in a tree, but with an audience and the pavement, that's just not right.

well, everybodys gota have a hoby

Quoted: In 1993, Karl Watkins was jailed for 18 months for trying to have sex with pavements. Gives new meaning to the slogan "Where the rubber meets the road."

And a new meaning for "road rash" too. This is too painful to even think about for normal folk.

In September 2003, pervert Ian Curtis was caught having sex with a frozen chicken. When he was discovered by his wife Jean, the former military policeman, 42, of Glasgow, was dressed in a skirt, silk blouse and rubber stockings. Jean, who later divorced him, shouted at her hubby: 'You dirty b ****** , that's my Sunday lunch.'

Now that's a woman with clearly defined priorities.

All this was predicted back in 1970

'You dirty b ****** , that's my Sunday lunch.'

Quoted: Link SCOTTISH courts are dealing with an ever growing collection of fetishists. In September 2003, pervert Ian Curtis was caught having sex with a frozen chicken. When he was discovered by his wife Jean, the former military policeman, 42, of Glasgow, was dressed in a skirt, silk blouse and rubber stockings. Jean, who later divorced him, shouted at her hubby: 'You dirty b ****** , that's my Sunday lunch.' In the same year, farmer Darran Emms, 35, was caught having sex with the family's Rhodesian Ridgeback dog by his pregnant wife Suzanne. In 1999, a pervert nicknamed Dr Strangeglove was jailed for a year. David Clark, 23, of Hurlford, Ayrshire, tried to force women to wear leather and rubber gloves. In 2002, Ross Watt appeared in court charged with having sex with a traffic cone and a shoe. The 33-year-old, of Edinburgh, who was being watched by a crowd, was remanded in custody pending a psychiatric report. In February 2003, officers arrested oddball Michael Bramham, who duped an Edinburgh woman into letting him cover her feet with baked beans. The 25-year-old conman claimed he was trying to raise cash for Comic Relief. In 1997, David Blackwood, of Ayrshire, was arrested for his hairdresser fetish. The 33-year-old admitted flashing at stylists and then doing a runner from their shops. In 1993, Karl Watkins was jailed for 18 months for trying to have sex with pavements. The electrician was just 21 when he indulged in his bizarre sexual fantasy

I think Ian Kurtis was just expressing his dismay at his wife's lousy cooking.

David Blackwood was just pissed off and tired of paying $15 to have his haircut.

Karl Watkins was making his political statement that we need to do something to fix the potholes in the road.

ASSFISH!

And I thought the official ARFCOM anal sex(SIIHPAPP) fetish was strange...

 Just goes to show you that when you deprive a people of guns, explosives, smokes, eight cylinder engines and other cool stuff they turn into retards.


 Shoe fuckers, the lot of 'em!  Poor dirty, bored off their asses bastards!!!!