[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Ask a Funeral Service Associate (Page 1 of 3)
Posted: 6/3/2009 7:19:47 PM EDT
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Every so often I see a thread regarding the laws of funeral processions where people have no clue as to the actual rules.
So, fire away. 
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What about the thread in GD about getting burried with their AR15? Any issues being put in the ground with a rifle? Never saw that thread. Depending on what the family chooses, no one may know. It's an open casket funeral, than people will know. Regarding the legality, I doubt anyone will kick up any fuss. But I'm not sure if it's legal or not. |
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1) WTF is a funeral service associate? 2) Taking the complete remains of an averaged size adult male, what is the smallest casket you can fit it in to? Feel free to reconfigure the remains, however, you can't burn or puree them. A: #1 
#2 those things behind the ice cream man? 
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1) WTF is a funeral service associate? 2) Taking the complete remains of an averaged size adult male, what is the smallest casket you can fit it in to? Feel free to reconfigure the remains, however, you can't burn or puree them. 1.) I'm the guy who tells people where/how to park. Hands out the little funeral tags. I magically place the flowers by the graveside and people wonder how they got there. I generally stand around and look important. 2.) Average human male is 6 foot tall. Legs can be bended to create more space. But caskets are generally sold around 7 foot. So I guess it would be a custom order. |
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I work in an anatomy lab, we do quite a bit of embalming. What type of formula do you use? What's your least favorite aspect of the job? I can't say for sure. I don't work in the prep room yet. Dealing with the grieving family. Seeing children sized caskets is rough. |
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you ever score with any hot girls from the family of the dearly departed  No, but I've gotten quite a few numbers. Grief is natures most powerful aphrodisiac. Most of them were batshit crazy though. man, you got numbers but didn't follow through, all you had to do was hit it and leave it, batshit crazy or not oh wait, that happens to me all the fuckin time 
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how much does it cost for cremation of a dog? and do you do extra work for the mafia to get rid of the bodies  I don't know about the cremation of a dog. But I do recommend going to a human cremation facility. You will get ONLY your dog. Not a mixture of your Fido and others. I do not paint houses. |
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Quoted: you mean some don't clean out the oven before another former living being is put in there? Quoted: how much does it cost for cremation of a dog? and do you do extra work for the mafia to get rid of the bodies I don't know about the cremation of a dog. But I do recommend going to a human cremation facility. You will get ONLY your dog. Not a mixture of your Fido and others. I do not paint houses. that is so wrong in so many levels - kinda freaky too. |
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you ever score with any hot girls from the family of the dearly departed No, but I've gotten quite a few numbers. Grief is natures most powerful aphrodisiac. Most of them were batshit crazy though. man, you got numbers but didn't follow through, all you had to do was hit it and leave it, batshit crazy or not oh wait, that happens to me all the fuckin time Haha, you and me both. 
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you mean some don't clean out the oven before another former living being is put in there?
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how much does it cost for cremation of a dog? and do you do extra work for the mafia to get rid of the bodies I don't know about the cremation of a dog. But I do recommend going to a human cremation facility. You will get ONLY your dog. Not a mixture of your Fido and others. I do not paint houses. that is so wrong in so many levels - kinda freaky too. You misunderstood me. Pet crematoriums are notorious for doing group burnings. |
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Did you ever hit one while they were still warm? Do you really let them keep those gold fillings? 1. 
2. Usually the family will collect all jewelry if desired. That was something I was wondering as the funeral director sort of urged us to collect all valuables. I guess the guys who shovel in the dirt do actually frisk the body before final burial. |
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Did you ever hit one while they were still warm? Do you really let them keep those gold fillings? 1.
2. Usually the family will collect all jewelry if desired. That was something I was wondering as the funeral director sort of urged us to collect all valuables. I guess the guys who shovel in the dirt do actually frisk the body before final burial. A funeral service associate, me, will stay until the gravediggers seal the vault. So, once the vault is sealed, it's never getting opened without considerable work. |
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Did you ever hit one while they were still warm? Do you really let them keep those gold fillings? 1.
2. Usually the family will collect all jewelry if desired. That was something I was wondering as the funeral director sort of urged us to collect all valuables. I guess the guys who shovel in the dirt do actually frisk the body before final burial. A funeral service associate, me, will stay until the gravediggers seal the vault. So, once the vault is sealed, it's never getting opened without considerable work. I got that same impression. Thanks. |
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Ok, so it is illegal to use a Sawz All on the legs. How about if the body died in a horrible brush chipper accident? Do you arrange the pieces in order? Or pour the pieces into a smaller sized one? they used duct tape on my buddy. ETA: not brush chipper accident though. |
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I'll bite: what are the laws for funeral processions? (like the driving part) Depends on the state. Many states have a right-of-way law. Where the funeral procession has the right-of-way. When it comes to traffic lights it's different too. In some states if the hearse goes through a green light all the cars can go through the light as long as they exercise caution. The general rule for a funeral is that the procession will drive half the speed limit to ensure it staying together. If the hearse goes too fast, the other cars may be left behind. Overall, it depends on the state. |
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This is the thread about the tall dead guy getting his legs cut off.
http://www.ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=5&t=881684 |
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What about him? It's extremely illegal to dismember a corpse, and there were other options such as bending the mans legs and the knees to create more room. Plus normal caskets are around 7 foot long. 
a standard casket is 82 x 28 exterior. If it is a wood, usable interior size is about 78 x 25 (6 1/2 feet long). For a taller person, you can raise the head end of the casket, and lower the foot end. This places the decedent on an angle, and gives a few more inches of usable space. For what it is worth, the corpse in question was not dismembered, the Achilles tendon was probably cut. This would allow a few extra inches as the foot could bend back. This is perfectly legal if authorised by the family. The problem is it wasn't authorised in that case. |