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Posted: 12/27/2003 9:29:06 PM EDT
Welcome friends.  How are we all doing this evening?  The kind Doctor Sgtar15 is in the house tonight.  I am here to help you with all of life little and big problems.

SO please friends...let me help you.  Ask and I will guide you.  You can ask any questions related to life...work...relationships...and so on.

But please, no riddles

Sgtar15

Edited to add that I have a PHD in Psychology and a Doctorite in Balissitics.
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 9:33:08 PM EDT
I have this problem. When I get drunk at parties, I go around collecting random packs of cigarettes laying out. I wake up the next day with packs of cigarettes in my pockets, but I dont smoke. I think I might have a problem.
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 9:33:22 PM EDT
Why are standard transmissions 'optional' on most new trucks and SUVs?
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 9:33:53 PM EDT
Can I use smileys instead of words? [:D]
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 9:34:01 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/27/2003 9:39:27 PM EDT by dpmmn]
Hey Doc,

Balissitics, it should be spelled
[b]Ballistics[/b]



sorry I had to do that

On that note can you tell me what the hell is going on with my intense need of anothe 1911?

edited to fix my piss poor typing
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 9:34:14 PM EDT
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 9:34:58 PM EDT
[url=http://www.ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=5&t=220803]Why did my bread collapse?[/url]
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 9:35:03 PM EDT
Why is the sky blue?
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 9:36:15 PM EDT
why did the racoon get run over crossing the road?
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 9:36:28 PM EDT
What kind of gun did Al Pacino use in HEAT?  
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 9:37:34 PM EDT
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 9:37:36 PM EDT
what kind of gun did Jack Ruby use?
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 9:37:52 PM EDT
I have this tactical cockatiel that likes to be scratched on its head, but I can't bring myself to do it now because of the emotional trauma imparted by the Sherrick beastiality episode. I can't seem to get his last words out of my mind, "It was above the tail..." How can I break out of this so I can give my cockatiel the attention she deserves?


CW
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 9:38:11 PM EDT
It's all this seasonal stress....I wanna go postal....AK or AR?
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 9:38:14 PM EDT
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 9:38:16 PM EDT
I'm getting tired of my cat.  My last cat when I got tired of him I had him with just salt and pepper.  What spices do you recommend this time?
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 9:38:16 PM EDT
Why did you post another one of these threads?
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 9:38:29 PM EDT
Originally Posted By TREETOP:
Originally Posted By dpmmn:
Hey Doc,
Balissitics, it should be spelled
[b]Balistics[/b]
sorry I had to do that
View Quote


Actually it's spelled [b]Ballistics[/b]
View Quote


Thanks Treetop, I knew I left out an "l"
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 9:40:32 PM EDT
Does this look infected?
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 9:42:02 PM EDT
Originally Posted By spc-ops:
I have this problem. When I get drunk at parties, I go around collecting random packs of cigarettes laying out. I wake up the next day with packs of cigarettes in my pockets, but I dont smoke. I think I might have a problem.
View Quote



You have a mothers complex...now stop it!!

Why are standard transmissions 'optional' on most new trucks and SUVs?
View Quote


Because todays automatice transmissions can more closely match the RPM's of the motor to better provide the neccessary power needed.  They can do this better than any human with a manual.

The in-laws finally went home after being here for the holidays and we have the house to ourselves once again.

However, I think I'm coming down with the flu that's been going around.

So do I hit it now, knowing it's been a while and would be even longer to get over the flu, or do the nice thing and try to keep her healthy?
View Quote



Trust me...hit it now!!  She is going to get sick anyways and in a few days she will have a plugged nose and won't be able to breath with her mouth full.

DzlBenz
View Quote


Old Yeast

Wilson[/qoute]

No ridlles.

SGtar15

Link Posted: 12/27/2003 9:42:57 PM EDT
What the hell is wrong with "polishing the polish", anyway?
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 9:44:31 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Cold_Warrior:
I have this tactical cockatiel that likes to be scratched on its head, but I can't bring myself to do it now because of the emotional trauma imparted by the Sherrick beastiality episode. I can't seem to get his last words out of my mind, "It was above the tail..." How can I break out of this so I can give my cockatiel the attention she deserves?


CW
View Quote


I think the main problem here is that you keep refering to your cock in the female sense.

Sgtar15
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 9:44:58 PM EDT
Why does it hurt when I pee?
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 9:45:39 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/27/2003 10:09:20 PM EDT by FishandShoot]
Hi Sgtar15,
I'm a long time listener, first time caller. [:P]I'm in a bit of a pickle. Rightnow I have a weekend construction job in addition to going to school full time.
I am in the process of enlisting in the Air Force and will be shipping out around July. How should I allocate my funds?
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 9:46:34 PM EDT
Originally Posted By sherrick13:
I'm getting tired of my cat.  My last cat when I got tired of him I had him with just salt and pepper.  What spices do you recommend this time?
View Quote


Ahhh!  The key is patient seasoning out it the sun for a few days.

[img]http://www.aronne.it/gatti_korea1.jpg[/img]
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 9:48:33 PM EDT
Originally Posted By FishandShoot:
Hi Sgtar15,
I'm a long time listener, first time caller. [:P]I'm in a bit of a pickle. Rightnow I have a weekend construction job in addition to going to school full time. ...

I am in the process of enlisting in the Air Force and will be shipping out around July. How should I allocate my funds?
View Quote


Pay back your parents.

Sgtar15
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 9:48:54 PM EDT
Why can't we discuss firearms (especially AR-15's) on the main page of AR15.com anymore.     Some Asshole always chimes in right fucking away and says.."THIS POST DOESN'T BELONG HERE!!!! But if someone wants to ask  "What hemorroid cream did Al Pacino use in "Heat", then that is a perfectly acceptable topic to post on ...WTF???
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 9:50:22 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/27/2003 9:51:38 PM EDT by dpmmn]
Originally Posted By sgtar15:
Originally Posted By sherrick13:
I'm getting tired of my cat.  My last cat when I got tired of him I had him with just salt and pepper.  What spices do you recommend this time?
View Quote


Ahhh!  The key is patient seasoning out it the sun for a few days.

[img]http://www.aronne.it/gatti_korea1.jpg[/img]
View Quote


Are those the cats from Jonestown?
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 9:50:59 PM EDT
Why are states/places like NYC, NJ and PRK so messed up?
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 9:52:16 PM EDT
Originally Posted By andrew:
Why can't we discuss firearms (especially AR-15's) on the main page of AR15.com anymore.     Some Asshole always chimes in right fucking away and says.."THIS POST DOESN'T BELONG HERE!!!! But if someone wants to ask  "What hemorroid cream did Al Pacino use in "Heat", then that is a perfectly acceptable topic to post on ...WTF???
View Quote


Maybe....now just maybe....you are posting your questions in the wrong forum.

Think about it.

Sgtar15

PS  BTW, Pacino used Prep H with plastic aplicator
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 9:53:40 PM EDT
Originally Posted By smokycity:
Why are states/places like NYC, NJ and PRK so messed up?
View Quote


Because the rednecks and the inbreeds from the so called "free" states keep sending their liberals here.

Sgtar15
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 9:58:40 PM EDT
Why do they put Braille dots on the keyboards of drive up ATM's?
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 10:00:42 PM EDT
Originally Posted By FishandShoot:
Why do they put Braille dots on the keyboards of drive up ATM's?
View Quote


Americans with Disabilities Act.

Sgtar15
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 10:01:39 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/27/2003 10:02:45 PM EDT by smokycity]
Originally Posted By sgtar15:
Originally Posted By smokycity:
Why are states/places like NYC, NJ and PRK so messed up?
View Quote


Because the rednecks and the inbreeds from the so called "free" states keep sending their liberals here.

Sgtar15
View Quote


And I use to think it was because the folks from those places (NYC and NJ specifically) had the idea that they were superior to those of us from the south. Thanks Dr Sgtar15 fir making me see the light.
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 10:03:56 PM EDT
chunky peanut butter or creamy peanut butter?

Link Posted: 12/27/2003 10:05:59 PM EDT
Originally Posted By wkenneth:
chunky peanut butter or creamy peanut butter?

View Quote


Depends on the situation.

For a sandwich...chunky

For a sex toy...creamy

Sgtar15
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 10:06:50 PM EDT
Why do cats purr?
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 10:07:25 PM EDT
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 10:09:52 PM EDT
Originally Posted By WILSON:
Why do cats purr?
View Quote


They are transmitting signals into your brain telling yoy to feed them.

SGtar15
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 10:14:50 PM EDT
Dear [b]sgtar15[/b],

The sale of my house is nearing completion and I'd like to tell my worthless neighbors goodbye the day of the closing.  How do you recommend that I officially part ways with these inconsiderate, disrespectful, far left-wing liberal dumbasses?

[b]Blamm[size=4]O[/size=4][/b]
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 10:18:09 PM EDT
Originally Posted By BlammO:
Dear [b]sgtar15[/b],

The sale of my house is nearing completion and I'd like to tell my worthless neighbors goodbye the day of the closing.  How do you recommend that I officially part ways with these inconsiderate, disrespectful, far left-wing liberal dumbasses?

[b]Blamm[size=4]O[/size=4][/b]
View Quote


Eat their cat outside on their lawn on the final day you leave.

SGtar15

SGtar15
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 10:22:31 PM EDT
So, there we were, my roommate and me, slappin' the monkeys on the couch while watching Big ol' Tittie Tongue Lashers III.  My other roommate comes in the room and acts like he's Mother Teresa.  I think he might have gone back to his room and passed out.

So, here's the question - should I tell him that I spooged on his toothbrush?  Actually, now that I think about it, it's too late.
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 10:25:23 PM EDT
[lolabove] [rofl2]
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 10:26:08 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Johnny_Reno:
So, there we were, my roommate and me, slappin' the monkeys on the couch while watching Big ol' Tittie Tongue Lashers III.  My other roommate comes in the room and acts like he's Mother Teresa.  I think he might have gone back to his room and passed out.

So, here's the question - should I tell him that I spooged on his toothbrush?  Actually, now that I think about it, it's too late.
View Quote


HOLD ON ONE SECOND!!!!!!!  You mean to tell me you were "doing it" while there was another guy sitting next to you on the couch??

ANd your worried about some other guy??

Your the one with the problem mister!!

Now you get a jar of creamy peanutbutter and go alone into your room.

Be normal for Christs sake!

SGtar15
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 10:35:25 PM EDT
You people just aint right.
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 10:35:44 PM EDT
Originally Posted By sgtar15:
Originally Posted By Johnny_Reno:
So, there we were, my roommate and me, slappin' the monkeys on the couch while watching Big ol' Tittie Tongue Lashers III.  My other roommate comes in the room and acts like he's Mother Teresa.  I think he might have gone back to his room and passed out.

So, here's the question - should I tell him that I spooged on his toothbrush?  Actually, now that I think about it, it's too late.
View Quote


HOLD ON ONE SECOND!!!!!!!  You mean to tell me you were "doing it" while there was another guy sitting next to you on the couch??

ANd your worried about some other guy??

Your the one with the problem mister!!

Now you get a jar of creamy peanutbutter and go alone into your room.

Be normal for Christs sake!

SGtar15
View Quote


Geez, we aren't freaks, ya know.  We were both sitting at the [b]far[/b] ends of the couch.

Still, I'm gonna have to try that peanut butter thing.  My dog loves that stuff.
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 10:37:32 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Tras:
You people just aint right.
View Quote


What?

Would you prefer gay porn?

Geez, they'll let anyone on this site.
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 10:40:07 PM EDT
Why am I strange?
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 10:42:53 PM EDT
Originally Posted By LotBoy:
Why am I strange?
View Quote


Your not strange......your special.

Sgtar15
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 10:43:19 PM EDT
Originally Posted By LotBoy:
Why am I strange?
View Quote


You ain't strange. I already told them that we were sitting on the [b]far[/b] ends of the couch.
Link Posted: 12/27/2003 10:44:27 PM EDT
How come two of my girlfriends from high school decided to look me up 25 years later just to tell me they are now both lesbians?
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