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10/20/2017 1:01:18 AM
9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 8/9/2005 11:28:55 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/9/2005 11:51:50 AM EDT by sysop]
Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans And Southern Republicans?

The answer can be found by posing the following question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Democra­t's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor! Or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Republican's Answer:

BANG!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....(sounds of reloading). BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?”



Edit for Hi-cap.
Link Posted: 8/9/2005 11:30:12 AM EDT
It's funny because it's true, you know that right?
Link Posted: 8/9/2005 11:46:31 AM EDT
Man you have got the southern Repulican all wrong. Its not bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang followed by nine more its bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang followed by 15 more. Hicap all the way!
Link Posted: 8/9/2005 11:48:52 AM EDT
great one
Link Posted: 8/9/2005 11:50:01 AM EDT
old joke, but good.
Link Posted: 8/9/2005 11:52:29 AM EDT

Originally Posted By CamoGhost:
Man you have got the southern Repulican all wrong. Its not bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang followed by nine more its bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang followed by 15 more. Hicap all the way!



I fixed it.
Link Posted: 8/9/2005 2:28:19 PM EDT
Actually needs a POLL for authenticity.

Link Posted: 8/9/2005 2:30:31 PM EDT
This gets duped weekly, but I'm not complaining so far.
Link Posted: 8/9/2005 2:53:40 PM EDT
Daughter would get a back hand for not knowing that a Silver Tip IS a hollow point.
Link Posted: 8/9/2005 7:44:25 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Swindle1984:
This gets duped weekly, but I'm not complaining so far.



Funny, yet true!
Link Posted: 8/9/2005 9:36:20 PM EDT
See, I'm just a Republican... expert shot, the job's done with just one.

Link Posted: 8/9/2005 9:38:31 PM EDT
Only unskilled shooters need more than one shot...
Link Posted: 8/9/2005 9:39:45 PM EDT
Guess which one I am. Don't strain yourself.
Link Posted: 8/9/2005 9:44:04 PM EDT
its not that funnny
Link Posted: 8/9/2005 9:46:12 PM EDT
My sincere apologies for the dupe. It was sent to me today in an email and I had never seen it before.
Link Posted: 8/9/2005 9:47:32 PM EDT
I believe the joke is:

Are you a Democrat, Republican or a TEXAN!
Link Posted: 8/9/2005 9:54:32 PM EDT
I'm a northern Republican. Just one expert shot and then I dismember the body. There's no need to waste precious ammo on such scum that aren't worth the cost of each round, when there are more enjoyable, cheaper ways to "ensure he is no longer a threat".
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