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Posted: 10/29/2004 1:34:23 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/29/2004 1:35:23 PM EST by JHP]
Guys - I was wondering if any of you ever regret choices you have made in your life and how you deal with them.

I am currently in sales but about 10 years ago I had an oppty to be a Fed Agent w/ DOJ which I believe I would have enjoyed but I made a choice to go into defense/electronics sales and have been there ever since...primarilyl because of a woman - whom I ended up marrying - she hated the idea of me being shot at

I friggin hate being a sales weasle and I often regret my choice...but at the end of the day, I have a wife, two wonderful children and a decent life...but I do wonder what if....

Do any of you guys ever get hung up with these sorts of thoughts? I have been in a funk over this for a while now...I would have been a Sr Agent by now and running my own team. Instead, I am dealing with corporate douche bags and slugs...

Link Posted: 10/29/2004 1:41:42 PM EST
Nearly every fucking day of my life
Link Posted: 10/29/2004 1:43:10 PM EST
so what do you do about it?

Drink
Work out
Go shooting
Download porn

I need to figure out something...before I lose my God damn mind
Link Posted: 10/29/2004 1:44:28 PM EST

Originally Posted By Mmanwitgun:
Nearly every fucking day of my life



+1

Except when something truly good happens or I meet someone very special...

Then God, the Smiter of Smiter's, Smites me with his Godly "SsssssIKE!!

I should have been a gangbanger, then I wouldn't give a wooden nickle.
Link Posted: 10/29/2004 1:45:02 PM EST

Originally Posted By JHP:
so what do you do about it?

Drink
Work out
Go shooting
Download porn

I need to figure out something...before I lose my God damn mind



Buy a dog or take up baking.
Link Posted: 10/29/2004 1:46:12 PM EST
Link Posted: 10/29/2004 1:49:27 PM EST

Originally Posted By JHP:
...I would have been a Sr Agent by now and running my own team. Instead, I am dealing with corporate douche bags and slugs...




Or you could have been shot dead by some street punk because he didn't want to get arrested over some petty crime and left your wife and children with a lot of mental baggage

It could always be worse
Link Posted: 10/29/2004 1:49:48 PM EST
I think I agree with everything that's been posted thus far.

I often hear people say they have NO regrets and if they were to do it again, they'd do it the same. I say bullshit. Nobody's lived their life w/o mistakes, and if someone claims they have I think they've led a pathetic life!
Link Posted: 10/29/2004 1:51:57 PM EST
Not joining the military. Waiting until I was 30 to go to college. Choosing some of the "friends" I had earlier in life.
Link Posted: 10/29/2004 1:59:19 PM EST
all good points...again, every time I come home I am thankful that I made my choice. When I am playing with my kids, wife and dog it is awesome....I guess it comes down to me hating my current fucking job....

I started my own bus on the side and hope to go 100% on that...I think that is my only salvation at this point.

I think getting out to the range might be a good idea too

Thanks
Link Posted: 10/29/2004 2:05:02 PM EST
Not moving out of California sooner, though I'm actively fixing that one at the moment. Other than that, I can't complain.
Link Posted: 10/29/2004 2:08:31 PM EST
JHP,

You need to realize the importance of being a good husband and father as well as being the provider for the family. Don't under estimate your importance and contribution to your family unit.
Link Posted: 10/29/2004 2:09:01 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/29/2004 2:10:16 PM EST by Mauser101]
I should've enlisted straight out of high school.

I went to State Uni for a year, got kicked out for a 0.05 GPA at the end of that year. I went to community college and continued a horid GPA (though better than the last year). I quit school for a year and a half and went to work full time. 2 years later I went back to school part time (1-2 classes per semester) and have been doing so ever since. I've been in college 5 years and still qualify as a Freshman.

I also regret starting a relationship with my best friend's ex-girlfriend...a week after she broke up with him. Luckily for me he's one of the best human beings I've ever known and we started talking again about a year after she and I broke it off. We're a buddy buddy again.

Yeah, I've got regrets.

Ofcourse, if I hadn't screwed up in my life and always did the right thing all the time...would I be the man I am today? I'm pretty happy with who I am dispite the mistakes I've made. That's because I learned from them and corrected myself.

ETA: I pull down a 3.8 GPA right now if you only include the point at which I went back to school part time.
Link Posted: 10/29/2004 2:16:41 PM EST
Not enlisting in the military. Not much I can do about it at 31 yrs. old....
Link Posted: 10/29/2004 2:19:06 PM EST

Originally Posted By yobo:
JHP,

You need to realize the importance of being a good husband and father as well as being the provider for the family. Don't under estimate your importance and contribution to your family unit.



I appreciate the perspective and certainly agree that those are the intangibles....but the one hang up I have is that I am in business and I never took much interest in it. I don't like numbers I don't like selling shit...the money is great but I just remember my days working on homicide and sex assualt cases and feeling good about what I did that day to put assholes behind bars.

I need some zen...
Link Posted: 10/29/2004 2:20:50 PM EST

Originally Posted By JHP:
so what do you do about it?

Drink
Work out
Go shooting
Download porn

I need to figure out something...before I lose my God damn mind



Plenty of drinking, working out didn't work for me, can't even remember the last time I went shooting the range here has a weird schedule that never works with mine and yes, downloading porn is a good way to deal too. My computers full of smut. Other ways to deal are getting hotties at the bar, but that usually ends up hurting me more then it does help. You probably shouldn't listen to my advice though, seeing that it doesn't even work that well for me, every minute sober is my own personal hell.
Link Posted: 10/29/2004 2:21:10 PM EST

Originally Posted By JHP:

Originally Posted By yobo:
JHP,

You need to realize the importance of being a good husband and father as well as being the provider for the family. Don't under estimate your importance and contribution to your family unit.



I appreciate the perspective and certainly agree that those are the intangibles....but the one hang up I have is that I am in business and I never took much interest in it. I don't like numbers I don't like selling shit...the money is great but I just remember my days working on homicide and sex assualt cases and feeling good about what I did that day to put assholes behind bars.

I need some zen...



There are few things better than having a job you love, and few worse than having a job you hate. Switch jobs! Doing so, does not mean you forfeit your family life.
Link Posted: 10/29/2004 2:22:10 PM EST

Originally Posted By Mmanwitgun:

Originally Posted By JHP:
so what do you do about it?

Drink
Work out
Go shooting
Download porn

I need to figure out something...before I lose my God damn mind



Plenty of drinking, working out didn't work for me, can't even remember the last time I went shooting the range here has a weird schedule that never works with mine and yes, downloading porn is a good way to deal too. My computers full of smut. Other ways to deal are getting hotties at the bar, but that usually ends up hurting me more then it does help. You probably shouldn't listen to my advice though, seeing that it doesn't even work that well for me, every minute sober is my own personal hell.



Damn... after reading that now I need a beer or two or three or ...............
Link Posted: 10/29/2004 2:22:26 PM EST
MY one big regret is missing out on most of my oldest daughter's life as she grew up.(She's 21 now and I have a beautiful granddaughter) Long story, but all my stupid fault.


A minor second regret is not joining the military. I'm too old and broke down for that now.

It sounds like it's just the job for you. That's relatively easy to fix. If you don't like what you are doing, do something else. Financialy it might be hard but it can be done.
I lost time, and I can never get that back.



Damn, thanks for making me feel like shit.

J/K I've learned to deal with my fuck-up regret. Gotta go call my oldest daughter right now.
Link Posted: 10/29/2004 2:23:08 PM EST
Yeah, I have some regrets ... They are not deep regrets however. I have a wonderful life but I do wonder from time to time what would have happened if I had really tried to achieve my ultimate dreams what would have happened?

I didn't pursue my ultimate dreams/goal because like one of you posted earlier, the woman I married put a hold on a lot of those things. But, I have a woman that loves me and that I have complete and utter trust in ... We never take cheap shots at one another and life is great ... So, the other ... ? Well, it sounds cliche but you can't fix water under the bridge.

Decide what you want for the future ... Really DECIDE ... then, talk it over with your family and GO FOR IT.
Link Posted: 10/29/2004 2:23:31 PM EST
after reading that I had to put down my crack pipe
Link Posted: 10/29/2004 2:25:35 PM EST
Not joining the Army sooner. I've always wanted to join, and now that I'm older I feel I've wasted the last couple years of my life.

(And I'm still not in yet, but hopefully will be an 11B by the end of next year)



... and how you deal with them.


Video games. I find a good team-based action first-person shooter (for the PC) and then find some really good people to play with as part of a team. Life issues tend to take a backseat when you're under heavy fire and screaming to your teammates for backup, or riding into a massive firefight on a heavily-armed gunship in formation. Games aren't just for kids either... this is a common misconception. The last couple of teams I was a part of were made up mostly of married, ex-military types, and had nobody in them under about 22 years of age. You do find a lot of kiddie-teams out there, but with some searching you can avoid them.
Link Posted: 10/29/2004 2:27:45 PM EST
Link Posted: 10/29/2004 2:28:01 PM EST
Why did I pay for hookers? I mean really? Who does that?
Link Posted: 10/29/2004 2:32:09 PM EST

Originally Posted By JHP:

Originally Posted By yobo:
JHP,

You need to realize the importance of being a good husband and father as well as being the provider for the family. Don't under estimate your importance and contribution to your family unit.



I appreciate the perspective and certainly agree that those are the intangibles....but the one hang up I have is that I am in business and I never took much interest in it. I don't like numbers I don't like selling shit...the money is great but I just remember my days working on homicide and sex assualt cases and feeling good about what I did that day to put assholes behind bars.

I need some zen...



JHP,

I worked at the county medial/trauma center for 4 years while going to university. Seeing gunshot cases, stabbings, accident victoms, etc. was all exciting for the first couple months but it got old. Seeing people in such tramatic period of their life slowly eats away at your soul. After a while it becomes painful and definitely not exciting. Becareful what you wish for as it may come true.


Link Posted: 10/29/2004 2:33:50 PM EST
You don't know what your life would've been if you did something different, could be worse, could be over as was pointed out above.

I made some MAJOR mistakes as a teen, screwed my life up pretty good for a while, of course I regret it, wish I'd kept my life together for that year when I got involved with the wrong woman, and the wrong crowd.(Banditos)

But if that hadn't happened I never would've had the experiences I've had, never would have learned the lessons I did, never would have enlisted, probably never would have met my wife.

Bottom line is even so I made some mistakes, I never did anything I can't respect myself for, that choice to do the right thing when it came right down to it led me to some serious problems with an injury and legal problems even, like I said really screwed my life up good.

But I like the man I am today, I'm not sure I'd be me if none of that ever went down. It was a defining event in my life.

So do you like you? That's the real question. If not make a change and be the man you want to be.

If you like yourself the way you are you can't have any regrets, your mistakes define you.
Link Posted: 10/29/2004 2:34:02 PM EST

Originally Posted By thebeekeeper1:

Originally Posted By JHP:
I need some zen...



I don't know him, but I'm guessing you'd have to get him really, really drunk first. Perhaps come to Gunstock next year and get him to join you on the Ghey Ride.



Ghey ride? hmm maybe there is a reason what happens at gunstock stays at gunstock.
Link Posted: 10/29/2004 2:37:07 PM EST
I hear ya boys...I had my days of crap while on the job...lots of busted up kids and crack moms but on the whole I enjoyed it.

The thing is I can't just up and change due to the cash flow situation...it would be a _major_ problem since I am leveraged like hell with a phat assed housing payment.

I think you guys are right on the money....my problem boils down to the job...I need to get motivated and find a job I enjoy. Instead of being a pussy and belly aching, I need to go after what i want....but damn it would have been fun....

Link Posted: 10/29/2004 2:37:54 PM EST

Originally Posted By JHP:
Guys - I was wondering if any of you ever regret choices you have made in your life and how you deal with them.

I am currently in sales but about 10 years ago I had an oppty to be a Fed Agent w/ DOJ which I believe I would have enjoyed but I made a choice to go into defense/electronics sales and have been there ever since...primarilyl because of a woman - whom I ended up marrying - she hated the idea of me being shot at

I friggin hate being a sales weasle and I often regret my choice...but at the end of the day, I have a wife, two wonderful children and a decent life...but I do wonder what if....

Do any of you guys ever get hung up with these sorts of thoughts? I have been in a funk over this for a while now...I would have been a Sr Agent by now and running my own team. Instead, I am dealing with corporate douche bags and slugs...




Well ya gotta stop thinking about it firstly. You made your choice and now live with it. Hind sight is always 20/20 and by reading your post it seems you got ALOT out of your decision on the positive side. I dont know how old you are but its possible to still change your carreer to one you might enjoy more. If not then just keep playing the lottery and thinking of retirement. Ive been slaving away with BROWN for the past 10 years and finally decided to pursue a carreer in LE. Im 32 so I do have a few years left. True ya might have been a SR Agent with your own team and then again ya might have caught a bullet in the head 5 years ago. Count your blessings and enjoy life whle ya can. Fix what ya can and say fuck it to what ya cant.
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