Am I a bad person? Update page 2.

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Am I a bad person? Update page 2. (Page 1 of 3)

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:22:39 AM EDT

About 4 months ago my daughter, 21, got a job in the next town up the coast. It is about 8-10 miles there.
She has no drivers license so I has to take her and pick her up. (The wife is down due to knee replacement)
After about a week I got fed up. I no longer had time to ride my bike or fix dinner due to picking her up.
I told her that she had until Jan 1, 2012 to either find a new job or get her license or take public transportation.
Well the deadline came and nothing has been done. In fact very little effort was expended until last month when she started to understand that I was serious.

I stopped taking her to work Jan 1.
She is pissed and is trying to guilt me into starting up again.
I refused.

So, am I being mean or what?

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:24:05 AM EDT

[#1]

nope your not a bad person.

She needs to get her shit together.

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:24:30 AM EDT

[#2]

She's too good to take the bus and too lazy to get a DL?

21 years old...WTF?

You're not being mean at all. Kindly tell her to grow the fuck up and/or move out

Speed

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:24:34 AM EDT

[#3]

No.
Tell her to buy a bicycle. 8-10 isn't that far.

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:25:13 AM EDT

[#4]

She needs to grow up and be responsible for her own transportation (assuming she doesn't have a disability).

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:25:44 AM EDT

[#5]

No. Absolutely not.

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:26:09 AM EDT

[#6]

Yes you are, that's your child! You must be at her beckoning call, night and day, and week ends.

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:26:49 AM EDT

[#7]

Hell no.

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:26:58 AM EDT

[#8]

Yes you clearly are a bad fucking person.

I do however agree with your approach regarding you daughters transportation issue. Good on you.

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:26:59 AM EDT

[#9]

Quoted:
She needs to grow up and be responsible for her own transportation (assuming she doesn't have a disability).

Nope healthy as a horse.

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:27:23 AM EDT

[#10]

IMHO, the fact that she is trying to guilt you into chauffeuring her again shows that she needs to do some growing up.
You are a good father doing the right thing.

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:27:28 AM EDT

[#11]

I don't think so. Does she still live at home? If so I'd make her pay rent as well even if it's just a small amount. She has to learn personal responsibility sometime it may as well be now.

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:27:34 AM EDT

[#12]

I didn't read the OP or any of the comments, but yes, yes you are. You are a bad person OP, for whatever it is you're bad for.

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:27:50 AM EDT

[#13]

Quoted:
nope your not a bad person.

She needs to get her shit together.

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:28:19 AM EDT

[#14]

If she is not in school she shouldnt even be living at home. Time for her to grow up.

You did good OP.

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:28:19 AM EDT

[#15]

hes an adult. time to act like one. would you expect someone to haul you to and from work?

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:28:34 AM EDT

[#16]

Why does she not have a license? I know CA has some funny laws concerning youngsters getting to drive, but damn. What is the deal here?

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:28:45 AM EDT

[#17]

Quoted:
I didn't read the OP or any of the comments, but yes, yes you are. You are a bad person OP, for whatever it is you're bad for.

Thanks bud. Appreciate the support.

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:29:04 AM EDT

[#18]

You have been weak––now you are doing better. "Bad" isn't a part of this.

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:29:33 AM EDT

[#19]

Tell her to get a DL and a place in the next town up the coast.... She is 21, not 16.

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:29:48 AM EDT

[#20]

Quoted:
nope your not a bad person.

She needs to get her shit together.

Truth

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:30:24 AM EDT

[#21]

Quoted:
Why does she not have a license? I know CA has some funny laws concerning youngsters getting to drive, but damn. What is the deal here?

She never needed one. I rarely leave the beach and I guess she doesn't either. She also told me she didn't want the responsibility.

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:30:28 AM EDT

[#22]

Quoted:

I don't think so. Does she still live at home? If so I'd make her pay rent as well even if it's just a small amount. She has to learn personal responsibility sometime it may as well be now.

I had to pay $125/month in rent when I was 16 til I moved out

This was in 1996 and $125 was a lot to a teenager.

In my parent's defense, they knew I was making some cash on the side besides my job, and I think they just wanted their cut

Speed

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:30:36 AM EDT

[#23]

You gave her fair warning, you're GTG.

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:31:21 AM EDT

[#24]

Funny, the pics are loading for me.

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:31:39 AM EDT

[#25]

Quoted:
She's too good to take the bus and too lazy to get a DL?
21 years old...WTF?

You're not being mean at all. Kindly tell her to grow the fuck up and/or move out

Speed

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:31:58 AM EDT

[#26]

She's living at home, yes?

Why is she working?

You need to up her allowance so she doesn't have to work, ya big meanie.

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:32:12 AM EDT

[#27]

Call hondaciv. I hear he likes to help out ladies in distress...

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:32:25 AM EDT

[#28]

Why doesn't your daughter have a drivers license? Has she ever had one? Does she know how to drive?

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:33:11 AM EDT

[#29]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Why does she not have a license? I know CA has some funny laws concerning youngsters getting to drive, but damn. What is the deal here?

She never needed one. I rarely leave the beach and I guess she doesn't either. She also told me she didn't want the responsibility.

I didn't need one when I was a young'en either, but my parents still made me get one. They probably would have kicked me out by the time I was 21 too, but I made my way out long before then.

Sometimes the eagle has to push the eaglet out of the nest.

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:34:13 AM EDT

[#30]

Quoted:
Why doesn't your daughter have a drivers license? Has she ever had one? Does she know how to drive?

She has been learning but as I said, too little,too late.

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:34:56 AM EDT

[#31]

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:44:59 AM EDT

[#32]

21, no license?
why?

time to cut the umbilical cord. if she tries to guilt you, tell her keep pushing and she can look for a apartment too

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:48:03 AM EDT

[#33]

AND, you have to absolutely stick to what you said. She is an adult.

Posted: 1/5/2012 10:48:54 AM EDT

[#34]

I have no idea whether you are a good person or not, but this is clearly Bush's fault

Once upon a time I put all my son's worldly shit in trash bags and piled it all down front of the property by the gate. I texted his hungover/whatever ass after cancelling his gas credit card on my account and told him he needed to come get his shit before somebody drove by and picked it all up. I told him I didn't ever want to see him or talk to him again, my obligations had been fulfilled. Have a nice life somewhere else. Time has passed and his shit is straight. We are OK now. I am glad. It was a tough thing to do, but it was the right thing at the time and it is entirely possible that had I not he would be in the gutter chewing on a dead rat.
Your situation doesn't sound that bad, but some people will never stop taking as long as you are willing to put up with it.

Posted: 1/5/2012 11:04:10 AM EDT

[#35]

Quoted:
AND, you have to absolutely stick to what you said. She is an adult.

I'm sure she's quick to remind him of her "adult" status whenever it's in her best interest to do so.

Posted: 1/5/2012 11:06:28 AM EDT

[#36]

Nope , 21 ....... you know the rules ..

Posted: 1/5/2012 11:06:30 AM EDT

[#37]

Posted: 1/5/2012 11:07:48 AM EDT

[#38]

You are not bad.

Your grammer is bad.

Posted: 1/5/2012 11:08:22 AM EDT

[#39]

She is 21 time to figure out about life and something called personal responsiblity.

Posted: 1/5/2012 11:10:10 AM EDT

[#40]

21? and no pics? You know the rules

Posted: 1/5/2012 11:11:03 AM EDT

[#41]

Tell her that you'll drive her for $2.70 per trip/flag drop, plus another $0.30 per 1/4 mile, plus a $2 surcharge for rides after dusk.

I think she'll get the hint and figure out that it's cheaper to drive herself!

Posted: 1/5/2012 11:11:14 AM EDT

[#42]

Quoted:

nope your not a bad person.

She needs to get her shit together.

Yup.

You might be a bad parent, but you aren't a bad person.

Posted: 1/5/2012 11:14:33 AM EDT

[#43]

10 miles on a bike isn't even enough to get me warmed up. I'd just ride it, but I like to ride.

Posted: 1/5/2012 11:16:18 AM EDT

[#44]

Quoted:
http://www.neoscooters.com/prodimages/XB-600/xb-600-blue-angle-1.jpg

This FTW
Hell yes it's only 8-10 miles.

Posted: 1/5/2012 11:16:58 AM EDT

[#45]

21? I had my permit THE DAY I turned 15!

Incidently, I have a 19 year old cousin who STILL hasnt got her license and makes her parent drive her back and forth to college 4 hours away. WTF, is it not "cool" to drive anymore?

Posted: 1/5/2012 11:21:14 AM EDT

[#46]

Quoted:
Tell her that you'll drive her for $2.70 per trip/flag drop, plus another $0.30 per 1/4 mile, plus a $2 surcharge for rides after dusk.

I think she'll get the hint and figure out that it's cheaper to drive herself!

Profit potential!