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9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 5/9/2002 10:44:50 PM EDT
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement." Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire." Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough." Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft." Problem: "Something loose in cockpit." Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit." Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear." Solution: "Evidence removed." Problem: "Number three engine missing." Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search." Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud." Solution: "Volume set to more believable level." Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield." Solution: "Live bugs on order." Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 foot per minute descent." Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground." Problem: "IFF inoperative." Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode." Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick." Solution: "That's what they're there for."
Link Posted: 5/9/2002 10:49:56 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Zardoz: Problem: "Number three engine missing." Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."
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My favorite.
Link Posted: 5/10/2002 12:34:56 AM EDT
It's amazing that the ground crews are smarter than the pilots. Shouldn't it be t'other way 'round?
Link Posted: 5/10/2002 3:18:01 AM EDT
LOL! This is my favorite one
Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield." Solution: "Live bugs on order."
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medcop
Link Posted: 5/10/2002 5:18:32 AM EDT
My personal favorite was "no transmit in stby" of course it wont transmit stupid it is in stand-by. i.e. it is warming up.
Link Posted: 5/10/2002 5:42:09 AM EDT
WE were flying down at Ft Rucker one night and we hit a bird. It came through the Chin Bubble and got stuck in the Tail Rotor control pedals. The guy wrote up "Duck Lodged beween co-polits tail rotor conrtol pedals" Action taken: Removed Duck. Aviator [img]www.milpubs.com/aviator.gif[/img]
Link Posted: 5/10/2002 5:51:54 AM EDT
I had to email this one to my wife , since she used to be a avionics tech in the army . Sounds like a list of 'operator headspacing' problem .[:)]
Link Posted: 5/10/2002 5:51:55 AM EDT
You could fill a book with this stuff. I'd buy it. [:D]
Link Posted: 5/10/2002 6:04:19 AM EDT
Problem: My canopy turns black when I pull 9 Gs Solution: That is your problem, not the canopy's!
Link Posted: 5/10/2002 6:12:24 AM EDT
my favorite.
Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick." Solution: "That's what they're there for."
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you think the pilot would understand this? and #2
Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough." Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."
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mmhmm... and i though pilots knew their aircraft intimatly(no not that way you pervert!).
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