Warning

 

Close

Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Confirm Cancel
Member Login
Site Notices
11/24/2017 4:44:23 PM
11/22/2017 10:05:29 PM
Posted: 9/15/2004 12:02:52 PM EST
1. Beer makes you feel better when you have your period.

2. Beer stains don't smell funny the next day.

3. Beer goes where you want it to.

4. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you try on shoes at the mall.

5. Your beer never suffers performance anxiety.

6. When your beer won't get a head up, you can toss it out.

7. Beer doesn't stand there tapping its wristwatch.

8. No woman ever got stood up by a beer.

9. A beer doesn't start a fistfight with an ale.

10. Puking will rid you of that queasy feeling you get when you made the wrong choice.

11. Beer doesn't get drunk and call you at 3am to beg.

12. You don't need a restraining order with bad beer.

13. I never met a beer with a criminal record.

14. Beer labels come off when you want them to.

15. When you go to a bar, you can pick up a beer without worrying about that tan line on his ring finger.

16. You can pick up a beer in a bar right in front of your mom and she won't mind.

17. Beer never has a bad temper.

18. A beer won't throw you into the back seat of a 76' Datsun and dry hump you under a mercury vapor lamp.

19. A beer won't toss you in the passenger seat of a Mazda RX7 and show you it can go 100MPH on a flat stretch.

20. A beer doesn't bring strange people home with it.

21. It's easy to give beer good head with minimal shaking up.

22. You don't have to worry about a gag reflex with beer.

23. You can have more than one beer in a night without feeling sore.

24. You can talk to your girlfriends about your beer without it getting pissed off.

25. You have a good idea where that beer has been before you got it.

26. No one ever had to sleep in a beer spot.

27. Beer doesn't dis' you because you are a babe.

28. A beer won't shove its hand up your dress at your graduation party.

29. You don't have to fake it for a beer. Beer has no ego.

30. A cold beer is a good beer.

31. Beer tastes good.

32. Beer doesn't leave you. It snuggles around your hips for a lifetime.

33. A beer doesn't hate your cat.

34. You can get six at once without taxing yourself.

35. A beer doesn't mind if you don't finish.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 12:05:24 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/15/2004 12:48:02 PM EST by Boomholzer]
If beer is better than man, I am on the greatest self-help plan ever invented!
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 12:45:40 PM EST
Women that like beer are OK in my book!!!
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 12:51:09 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/15/2004 12:56:03 PM EST by RAMBOSKY]
Then why do women want a man to show up for a date on time, well groomed, with flowers.
Then take them out to a nice place to eat, say nice things, pay attention to them and be romantic?

All we want you to do is show up naked with a case of BEER!


Maybe both sexes have more in common than you thought.

After I have a few beers I really don't care what you look like anyway.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 12:57:26 PM EST

Originally Posted By RAMBOSKY:
Then why do women want a man to show up for a date on time, well groomed, with flowers.
Then take them out to a nice place to eat, say nice things, pay attention to them and be romantic?

All we want you to do is show up naked with a case of BEER!


Maybe both sexes have more in common than you thought.

After I have a few beers I really don't care what you look like anyway.


really, thats all we want too! the rest are just extras!
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 1:06:39 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/15/2004 1:07:14 PM EST by RAMBOSKY]

Originally posted by MrsBRF: "really, thats all we want too! the rest are just extras!"



I'm a cheap date but a good time.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 1:08:11 PM EST
uuummmmmm....beer
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 2:07:58 PM EST
...on that note, lets open a cold one.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 2:11:28 PM EST
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 2:16:44 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/15/2004 2:20:19 PM EST by ms_international]
Salute

hmmm, girlie beer .... Miller light! (least amount of carbs though - or so they say)
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 2:18:32 PM EST

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:

Originally Posted By ms_international:
...on that note, lets open a cold one.

Done. Any ladies who want to come to my place for a drink are welcome

With Ivan headed in my general direction, that might not be such a bad offer! Have I ever mentioned my irrational fear of tornadoes? Hurricanes spawn tornadoes....

That little bullseye is where I live......in a trailer.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 2:21:35 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/15/2004 2:22:20 PM EST by ms_international]

Originally Posted By cat_aclysm:

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:

Originally Posted By ms_international:
...on that note, lets open a cold one.

Done. Any ladies who want to come to my place for a drink are welcome

With Ivan headed in my general direction, that might not be such a bad offer! Have I ever mentioned my irrational fear of tornadoes? Hurricanes spawn tornadoes....

img.photobucket.com/albums/v416/cat_aclysm/20.jpgThat little bullseye is where I live......in a trailer.



I reside in Hurricane Land, not that bad ... if you don't live in a trailer. sorry just seen that you do.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 2:24:25 PM EST
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 2:25:33 PM EST

Originally Posted By Lumpy196:
I agree whole heartedly with the concept that beer is better than men....



Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwww­wwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 2:37:27 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/15/2004 3:19:39 PM EST by Gungho_1989]

Originally Posted By Lumpy196:
I agree whole heartedly with the concept that beer is better than men....



Gone a little bit far there! Women like beer, but we need men too, for one thing.

damn men signed me out (mrsgungho) and I didn't realize it. GRRR
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 2:39:02 PM EST

Originally Posted By Donna:

11. Beer doesn't get drunk and call you at 3am to beg.

28. A beer won't shove its hand up your dress at your graduation party.





Haha those two are hilarious, they remind me of my high school days
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 2:50:23 PM EST

32. Beer doesn't leave you. It snuggles around your hips for a lifetime.





Link Posted: 9/15/2004 2:54:25 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/15/2004 3:17:51 PM EST by Persephone]

Originally Posted By Gungho_1989:

Originally Posted By Lumpy196:
I agree whole heartedly with the concept that beer is better than men....



Gone a little bit far there! Women like beer, but we need men too, for one thing.



I'm going to pray this is Mrs.Gungho. Or mr gungho has some 'splainin' to do.

Link Posted: 9/15/2004 2:57:53 PM EST

Originally Posted By Donna:

26. No one ever had to sleep in a beer spot.



... Not true!
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 3:01:24 PM EST

Originally Posted By Winston_Wolf:

Originally Posted By Donna:

26. No one ever had to sleep in a beer spot.



... Not true!



Link Posted: 9/15/2004 3:03:45 PM EST
Check the sig line.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 3:21:52 PM EST

Originally Posted By Persephone:

Originally Posted By Gungho_1989:

Originally Posted By Lumpy196:
I agree whole heartedly with the concept that beer is better than men....



Gone a little bit far there! Women like beer, but we need men too, for one thing.



I'm going to pray this is Mrs.Gungho. Or mr gungho has some 'splainin' to do.




Yes it was me.. I edited the other post. Ever had one of those days when nothing goes right? Todays that day. And I really want a beer now, but none in the house
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 3:29:41 PM EST
first round's on me - I'll be over in about 6-8 hrs.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 3:38:33 PM EST

Originally Posted By Persephone:
first round's on me - I'll be over in about 6-8 hrs.



Make it a lite. Michelob... that is.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 4:00:15 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/15/2004 4:03:28 PM EST by otar]
I was told there was beer in here.
So, with out any undue fan fare:

1. Beer makes you feel better when you have your period.
Nope, not gona touch that one with a 10 ft. pole.

2. Beer stains don't smell funny the next day.
Wanta bet?????

3. Beer goes where you want it to.
And some places you dont want it to go.

4. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you try on shoes at the mall.
True, but it either gets all hot and irritated, for it turns into the ice queen depending on the weather.

5. Your beer never suffers performance anxiety.
One word homebrew.

6. When your beer won't get a head up, you can toss it out.
See #1.

7. Beer doesn't stand there tapping its wristwatch.
And if you ignore it.... Flat.

8. No woman ever got stood up by a beer.
Have you ever tried Sam Adams 3x bock? It made me stand up and say Daaayuuummm

9. A beer doesn't start a fistfight with an ale.
I was with a bunch of friends one time and we ended up in a 1 bar town. I tried to order an ale. That almost got us into a fight with the bar tender. I suupposed it didn't help matter any that one of the friends that was there (female) tried to order a strawberry margerita before me. If it wasnt beer or wiskey they didn't have it. We were told to drink our drink and get the hell out of there. We did just that.

10. Puking will rid you of that queasy feeling you get when you made the wrong choice.
again, and again, and again.....

11. Beer doesn't get drunk and call you at 3am to beg.
I've had beer call me at 3 AM

12. You don't need a restraining order with bad beer.
True, but I've threatened.

13. I never met a beer with a criminal record.
Lambec

14. Beer labels come off when you want them to.
Not without work

15. When you go to a bar, you can pick up a beer without worrying about that tan line on his ring finger.


16. You can pick up a beer in a bar right in front of your mom and she won't mind.
You know my mom???

17. Beer never has a bad temper.
Grolsch

18. A beer won't throw you into the back seat of a 76' Datsun and dry hump you under a mercury vapor lamp.
It wasnt a 76. It was a 74 B210. Also I never did thank you for telling the cop that you WERE there on your own free will.

19. A beer won't toss you in the passenger seat of a Mazda RX7 and show you it can go 100MPH on a flat stretch.
That wasnt me

20. A beer doesn't bring strange people home with it.
On many occasions it did

21. It's easy to give beer good head with minimal shaking up.
and shacking gets it volitile

22. You don't have to worry about a gag reflex with beer.
See 13, or any home brew with a lactose contamination

23. You can have more than one beer in a night without feeling sore.


24. You can talk to your girlfriends about your beer without it getting pissed off.
I've got to find one of those

25. You have a good idea where that beer has been before you got it.
want to bet? Why are they putting best before dates on them now?

26. No one ever had to sleep in a beer spot.
I kick the empties out of bed before that. They dont mind it. I've known people that have had that problem though.

27. Beer doesn't dis' you because you are a babe.


28. A beer won't shove its hand up your dress at your graduation party.
No comment

29. You don't have to fake it for a beer. Beer has no ego.


30. A cold beer is a good beer.
Mmmmmmm, beer.

31. Beer tastes good.
most

32. Beer doesn't leave you. It snuggles around your hips for a lifetime.


33. A beer doesn't hate your cat.
My cat doesn't like beer.

34. You can get six at once without taxing yourself.
with proper training.

35. A beer doesn't mind if you don't finish.
A good beer finishes too quickly. A bad beer never seems to finish

Man I need to start dating a beer after that.




Edited to correct content.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 4:08:13 PM EST

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:

Originally Posted By ms_international:
...on that note, lets open a cold one.

Done. Any ladies who want to come to my place for a drink are welcome



I would, but I'm afraid Willy will bite me
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 4:11:11 PM EST

Originally Posted By otar:
I was told there was beer in here.
So, with out any undue fan fare:

1. Beer makes you feel better when you have your period.
Nope, not gona touch that one with a 10 ft. pole.

2. Beer stains don't smell funny the next day.
Wanta bet?????

3. Beer goes where you want it to.
And some places you dont want it to go.

4. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you try on shoes at the mall.
True, but it either gets all hot and irritated, for it turns into the ice queen depending on the weather.

5. Your beer never suffers performance anxiety.
One word homebrew.

6. When your beer won't get a head up, you can toss it out.
See #1.

7. Beer doesn't stand there tapping its wristwatch.
And if you ignore it.... Flat.

8. No woman ever got stood up by a beer.
Have you ever tried Sam Adams 3x bock? It made me stand up and say Daaayuuummm

9. A beer doesn't start a fistfight with an ale.
I was with a bunch of friends one time and we ended up in a 1 bar town. I tried to order an ale. That almost got us into a fight with the bar tender. I suupposed it didn't help matter any that one of the friends that was there (female) tried to order a strawberry margerita before me. If it wasnt beer or wiskey they didn't have it. We were told to drink our drink and get the hell out of there. We did just that.

10. Puking will rid you of that queasy feeling you get when you made the wrong choice.
again, and again, and again.....

11. Beer doesn't get drunk and call you at 3am to beg.
I've had beer call me at 3 AM

12. You don't need a restraining order with bad beer.
True, but I've threatened.

13. I never met a beer with a criminal record.
Lambec

14. Beer labels come off when you want them to.
Not without work

15. When you go to a bar, you can pick up a beer without worrying about that tan line on his ring finger.


16. You can pick up a beer in a bar right in front of your mom and she won't mind.
You know my mom???

17. Beer never has a bad temper.
Grolsch

18. A beer won't throw you into the back seat of a 76' Datsun and dry hump you under a mercury vapor lamp.
It wasnt a 76. It was a 74 B210. Also I never did thank you for telling the cop that you WERE there on your own free will.

19. A beer won't toss you in the passenger seat of a Mazda RX7 and show you it can go 100MPH on a flat stretch.
That wasnt me

20. A beer doesn't bring strange people home with it.
On many occasions it did

21. It's easy to give beer good head with minimal shaking up.
and shacking gets it volitile

22. You don't have to worry about a gag reflex with beer.
See 13, or any home brew with a lactose contamination

23. You can have more than one beer in a night without feeling sore.


24. You can talk to your girlfriends about your beer without it getting pissed off.
I've got to find one of those

25. You have a good idea where that beer has been before you got it.
want to bet? Why are they putting best before dates on them now?

26. No one ever had to sleep in a beer spot.
I kick the empties out of bed before that. They dont mind it. I've known people that have had that problem though.

27. Beer doesn't dis' you because you are a babe.


28. A beer won't shove its hand up your dress at your graduation party.
No comment

29. You don't have to fake it for a beer. Beer has no ego.


30. A cold beer is a good beer.
Mmmmmmm, beer.

31. Beer tastes good.
most

32. Beer doesn't leave you. It snuggles around your hips for a lifetime.


33. A beer doesn't hate your cat.
My cat doesn't like beer.

34. You can get six at once without taxing yourself.
with proper training.

35. A beer doesn't mind if you don't finish.
A good beer finishes too quickly. A bad beer never seems to finish

Man I need to start dating a beer after that.




Edited to correct content.



You need to start dating a beer?
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 4:15:34 PM EST
And the flip side....

Top 10 Reasons Why Handguns Are Better Than Women:

10. You can trade an old .44 for two new .22's.

9. You can have one handgun at home and another when you're on the road.

8. If you admire a friend's handgun and tell him so, he will be impressed and let you try a few rounds with it.

7. Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you have a backup.

6. Your handgun will stay with you, even if you are out of ammo.

5. A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

4. Handguns function normally every day of the month.

3. A handgun won't ask, "Do these new grips make me look fat?".

2. A handgun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you've used it.

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON A HANDGUN IS BETTER THAN A WOMAN

1. You can buy a silencer for a handgun.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 4:16:18 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/15/2004 4:18:25 PM EST by otar]
Naaaa, I gave up dating for lent.
Beer is cheaper anyway.


Edited for spellin
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 5:07:27 PM EST
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 5:14:03 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/15/2004 5:15:56 PM EST by Donna]

Originally Posted By otar:
Naaaa, I gave up dating for lent.
Beer is cheaper anyway.


Edited for spellin



Dating can be cheap! Listen to Leykis....



edited: I did NOT just say that... nevermind!
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 5:21:51 PM EST

Originally Posted By SigZiggy:

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:

Originally Posted By ms_international:
...on that note, lets open a cold one.

Done. Any ladies who want to come to my place for a drink are welcome



I would, but I'm afraid Willy will bite me



I know I've been drinking, but jeez! Willy will bite you?

Link Posted: 9/15/2004 5:42:00 PM EST

Originally Posted By Donna:

Originally Posted By SigZiggy:

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:

Originally Posted By ms_international:
...on that note, lets open a cold one.

Done. Any ladies who want to come to my place for a drink are welcome



I would, but I'm afraid Willy will bite me



I know I've been drinking, but jeez! Willy will bite you?




Have you watched Willie lately?
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 5:46:54 PM EST

Originally Posted By SigZiggy:

Originally Posted By Donna:

Originally Posted By SigZiggy:

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:

Originally Posted By ms_international:
...on that note, lets open a cold one.

Done. Any ladies who want to come to my place for a drink are welcome



I would, but I'm afraid Willy will bite me



I know I've been drinking, but jeez! Willy will bite you?




Have you watched Willie lately?



Sadly, no...
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 5:54:38 PM EST

Originally Posted By Donna:

Originally Posted By SigZiggy:

Have you watched Willie lately?



Sadly, no...






me neither
Link Posted: 9/16/2004 2:32:50 AM EST
Link Posted: 9/16/2004 2:52:41 AM EST

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:

Originally Posted By Donna:

Originally Posted By SigZiggy:

Originally Posted By Donna:

Originally Posted By SigZiggy:

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:

Originally Posted By ms_international:
...on that note, lets open a cold one.

Done. Any ladies who want to come to my place for a drink are welcome



I would, but I'm afraid Willy will bite me



I know I've been drinking, but jeez! Willy will bite you?




Have you watched Willie lately?



Sadly, no...

photos.ar15.com/Galleries/Avatars/12141.gif



Once I seen Willy doing what he's doing, I quit looking to the left.. he gives me the creeps!
Link Posted: 9/16/2004 3:06:27 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/16/2004 3:07:16 AM EST by ms_international]


Originally Posted By Donna:

Originally Posted By SigZiggy:

Originally Posted By Donna:

Originally Posted By SigZiggy:

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:

Originally Posted By ms_international:
...on that note, lets open a cold one.

Done. Any ladies who want to come to my place for a drink are welcome



I would, but I'm afraid Willy will bite me



I know I've been drinking, but jeez! Willy will bite you?




Have you watched Willie lately?



Sadly, no...



Those Grafic geeks - watch the Avatar. Caught me by surprise, I thought I had one too many. But then there it was plain as day...
Link Posted: 9/16/2004 3:55:56 AM EST

Originally Posted By ms_international:

Originally Posted By Donna:

Originally Posted By SigZiggy:

Originally Posted By Donna:

Originally Posted By SigZiggy:

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:

Originally Posted By ms_international:
...on that note, lets open a cold one.

Done. Any ladies who want to come to my place for a drink are welcome



I would, but I'm afraid Willy will bite me



I know I've been drinking, but jeez! Willy will bite you?




Have you watched Willie lately?



Sadly, no...



Those Grafic geeks - watch the Avatar. Caught me by surprise, I thought I had one too many. But then there it was plain as day...



And like the sands of times......passing through the hourglass.....I'm just cracking up. You ladies (and guys) are better than coffee.

I must agree that Willie kind of freaks me out too! It like, la la laaaaa, I'm looking at nice Willie....and then....all of a sudden....

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek, Willie is trying to bite me!
Link Posted: 9/16/2004 4:11:42 AM EST
Okay!! I get it now!!!
Link Posted: 9/16/2004 10:10:04 PM EST

Originally Posted By Winston_Wolf:

Originally Posted By Donna:

26. No one ever had to sleep in a beer spot.



... Not true!




The reall question on everyone's mind is did 'Beer' still respect you in the morning??...
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 4:09:54 PM EST
I'll take a number 3, 5, 6, 10, 14, 15, 24, 27, 31, 35 please. Oh and double up on number 30.
Link Posted: 9/19/2004 6:19:38 PM EST
I brought back 72 bottles of liqued therapy from Alasaka, & no,.....I won't share with the best looking woman on earth. Unless it's her beer.
Link Posted: 9/19/2004 6:27:01 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/20/2004 7:19:56 AM EST by CSM]
Sorry, I did not mean to come off that harshly. I have had a very stressful few weeks and it looks as if it will stay that way for some time to come. When I am stressed out I tend to remove the filter bewteen the keyboard and my brain and say exactly what I think. I ask for your forgivness if I hurt anybodies feelings. I guess I need to take a break and go shooting sometime... -CSM
Link Posted: 9/19/2004 6:37:04 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/19/2004 7:27:23 PM EST by thebeekeeper1]

Originally Posted By CSM:
<Removed>





go away
Link Posted: 9/22/2004 5:53:57 PM EST

Originally Posted By MrsGungho:

Originally Posted By Persephone:

Originally Posted By Gungho_1989:

Originally Posted By Lumpy196:
I agree whole heartedly with the concept that beer is better than men....



Gone a little bit far there! Women like beer, but we need men too, for one thing.



I'm going to pray this is Mrs.Gungho. Or mr gungho has some 'splainin' to do.




Yes it was me.. I edited the other post. Ever had one of those days when nothing goes right? Todays that day. And I really want a beer now, but none in the house



Damn women trying to make me look bad, geeze now all my fellow arfcommers are gonna think Im a fruit!?!?

Just to set a few minds at ease I'm not one of those "dont ask dont tell types"
Link Posted: 9/22/2004 5:56:57 PM EST
Link Posted: 9/22/2004 6:50:07 PM EST
Now........extremely thirsty. Getting another beer....

Beer, it's what's for dinner.

Beer. Not just for breakfast anymore.

Beer, the other, other, other white meat.

Beer, get it in you!
Top Top