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8/18/2018 9:15:16 PM EDT
[#1]
A chick stuck a finger up my ass during sexy time.
8/18/2018 9:16:57 PM EDT
[#2]
Ended up OK but the construction director at The Toledo zoo offered me a construction manager position when his #2 guy quit. I put in my notice in my department and my boss was pissed as fuck. The day I reported to my new job there was a different guy at my new desk. Director guy said he walked in off the street and he knew him so he hired him on the spot.  Never trusted that motherfucker again when he opened his mouth

That walk of shame to my old dept sucked pretty bad. Boss gloated pretty hard. The worst part was I stayed there another 9 years.
8/18/2018 9:19:05 PM EDT
[#3]
some crazy person shot heroin into me, i was 3 or 4, still remember it, though it is a vary fuzzy memory, was not pleasant
8/18/2018 9:19:22 PM EDT
[#4]
Mom was in the hospital with what turned out to be her final illness.  I would visit her every night in the hospital and on the weekends after reserve duty.  One Saturday night I came by after duty- it was the day I had been promoted to Major in the Army Reserve JAG Corps, and I wanted her to see my new rank (being the first in my family to serve as an Officer).  I was still in uniform, having come directly from duty.  She looked at the Gold Oak leaves on my collar and then said “If you keep up with this bullshit, you’ll end up in front of a firing squad like your Father”.  Actually, he ended up before one twice, but that’s a story for another time...Needless to say, things got awkward the last few months of her life
8/18/2018 9:19:38 PM EDT
[#5]
Quote History
Quoted:
A chick stuck a finger up my ass during sexy time.
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Only fucked up if you see her take her hand up to her mouth after and then hear a sucking sound.  Then later on you forget that happened and let her kiss you.
8/18/2018 9:20:03 PM EDT
[#6]
Quote History
Quoted:
some crazy person shot heroin into me, i was 3 or 4, still remember it, though it is a vary fuzzy memory, was not pleasant
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What the fuck, actual?
8/18/2018 9:27:26 PM EDT
[#7]
Quote History
Quoted:

What the fuck, actual?
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mom was a addict, around 4 she got arrested and my aunt and uncle raised me, now here i am 22 years later
8/18/2018 9:29:56 PM EDT
[#8]
When she kiss my neck and tickle me fancy. She give me the right kind of love on Sunday morning.
8/18/2018 9:31:29 PM EDT
[#9]
Quote History
Quoted:
mom was a addict, around 4 she got arrested and my aunt and uncle raised me, now here i am 22 years later
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Quoted:
Quoted:

What the fuck, actual?
mom was a addict, around 4 she got arrested and my aunt and uncle raised me, now here i am 22 years later
I apologize for ever thinking poorly of you.
8/18/2018 9:31:41 PM EDT
[#10]
Drywallers are the lowest form of scum on the planet.
8/18/2018 9:32:19 PM EDT
[#11]
Quote History
Quoted:

I apologize for ever thinking poorly of you.
View Quote
I won't. He's still nuttier than squirrel poop on some days.
8/18/2018 9:32:28 PM EDT
[#12]
Daughter and son in law named me as a creditor in their bankruptcy. I helped them with rent to the tune of a whopping $1000. Son in law has since proven to be a most vile human being.

Not really the most, but it sticks with me more than most.
8/18/2018 9:34:15 PM EDT
[#13]
Quote History
Quoted:
I won't. He's still nuttier than squirrel poop on some days.
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Quoted:
Quoted:

I apologize for ever thinking poorly of you.
I won't. He's still nuttier than squirrel poop on some days.
Never hurt a child. He posts some bizarre shit but I’m going to not judge him too hard.
8/18/2018 9:34:17 PM EDT
[#14]
Quote History
Quoted:

I apologize for ever thinking poorly of you.
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no bigs, she clean now, though still broken, i still talk to her too.

@burkeva
8/18/2018 9:35:10 PM EDT
[#15]
Quote History
Quoted:

I won't. He's still nuttier than squirrel poop on some days.
View Quote
some days you guys just force things
8/18/2018 9:36:25 PM EDT
[#16]
I broke my brothers confidence and told my parents he was doing drugs because he was fucking up hard. My parents didn’t believe me. Said out of the two of us they would be more likely to believe I was doing drugs (I wasn’t). This caised my brother to stop talking to me. He died in my parents house 1 month later of an overdose. Talk about feeling betrayed and alone as a kid.
8/18/2018 9:37:07 PM EDT
[#17]
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Quoted:
Launch an RPG at me
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I only had them launched in my general direction but it still beats all the other shitty stuff that's happened to me.
8/18/2018 9:38:30 PM EDT
[#18]
By the time I made it to kindergarten, I knew not to trust people and had experienced my first acid trip.  Good times.  
8/18/2018 9:38:46 PM EDT
[#19]
Quote History
Quoted:
I broke my brothers confidence and told my parents he was doing drugs because he was fucking up hard. My parents didn’t believe me. Said out of the two of us they would be more likely to believe I was doing drugs (I wasn’t). This caised my brother to stop talking to me. He died in my parents house 1 month later of an overdose. Talk about feeling betrayed and alone as a kid.
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its alright man, you tried, it was not your fault no one listened.

@j0hn
8/18/2018 9:40:39 PM EDT
[#20]
Quote History
Quoted:

My father abandoned us when I was 7.

Just packed up and left, said he didn't want a wife and kids any more.
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Mine did the same when I was 5, I remember him having a talk with me saying daddy wouldn't be around anymore.. I didn't understand at the time. Fucking asshole, I feel your pain bro.
8/18/2018 9:41:37 PM EDT
[#21]
I knew a guy who had a good engineering job, a house, and two kids , whose wife left him for the oil change guy at quick lube.
Then after the divorce, the cunt called him to whine about money.
8/18/2018 9:44:30 PM EDT
[#22]
Quote History
Quoted:
Mine did the same when I was 5, I remember him having a talk with me saying daddy wouldn't be around anymore.. I didn't understand at the time. Fucking asshole, I feel your pain bro.
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Quoted:
Quoted:

My father abandoned us when I was 7.

Just packed up and left, said he didn't want a wife and kids any more.
Mine did the same when I was 5, I remember him having a talk with me saying daddy wouldn't be around anymore.. I didn't understand at the time. Fucking asshole, I feel your pain bro.
Same thing happened to me when I was 4. I remember him packing up his clothes and me crying asking him to please don't leave.

I forgave him for it.
8/18/2018 9:47:22 PM EDT
[#23]
Quote History
Quoted:

I won't. He's still nuttier than squirrel poop on some days.
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But he’s our squirrel poop, so there.
8/18/2018 9:50:25 PM EDT
[#24]
Quote History
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Birth dad and his wife molested me and my step sister. That was pretty messed up.
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I hope you and your step-sister have sought help.
8/18/2018 9:51:09 PM EDT
[#25]
Quote History
Quoted:
mom was a addict, around 4 she got arrested and my aunt and uncle raised me, now here i am 22 years later
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Quoted:
Quoted:

What the fuck, actual?
mom was a addict, around 4 she got arrested and my aunt and uncle raised me, now here i am 22 years later
Damn, that's a pretty young age to get cuffed.

Glad you got out of that situation.
8/18/2018 9:51:53 PM EDT
[#26]
Girl who told all my friends I raped her. Took them 3 years to find out the truth. By then I didn't care.
8/18/2018 9:55:06 PM EDT
[#27]
I think the #1 thing I’ve learned from arfcom is to not marry.
8/18/2018 9:55:24 PM EDT
[#28]
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Guy called 911 and requested an ambulance for a stomach ache.

We show up and knock on the door, he tells us to come in.  We walk in the door and see him sitting on his couch with a .357 to his chin.  Says "Sorry you have to see this, I just didn't want my family to find me."

*BOOM!*

The best part of the story is after all was said and done we messaged our dispatcher to let them know we were clearing the scene and they dropped another call on us instantly for.....abdominal pain.
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8/18/2018 9:59:33 PM EDT
[#29]
Quote History
Quoted:

Same thing happened to me when I was 4. I remember him packing up his clothes and me crying asking him to please don't leave.

I forgave him for it.
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I never did. Fuck that asshole. He left us high and dry to struggle for 14 years. Fuck him, I hope he burns in hell. Worst part is, he had another family with 3 kids.. I have 3 step siblings I don't know.
8/18/2018 10:00:32 PM EDT
[#30]
Quote History
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Just joined today, eh?

Already an expert on arfcom euphemisms?

Impressive.

https://i.imgur.com/Wokm0Gw.jpg
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Quoted:
FHRC tried to become my president.
Just joined today, eh?

Already an expert on arfcom euphemisms?

Impressive.

https://i.imgur.com/Wokm0Gw.jpg
Oops.  Is NorCal around?
8/18/2018 10:01:59 PM EDT
[#31]
When I was 10, my stepsister pushed me off a houseboat deck at midnight on xmas, I got sucked under the houseboat and almost drowned.

20, passed out, and a chick I knew slightly decided to ride my dick with me passed out.

She was on the rag
8/18/2018 10:05:10 PM EDT
[#32]
Quote History
Quoted:
Guy called 911 and requested an ambulance for a stomach ache.

We show up and knock on the door, he tells us to come in.  We walk in the door and see him sitting on his couch with a .357 to his chin.  Says "Sorry you have to see this, I just didn't want my family to find me."

*BOOM!*

The best part of the story is after all was said and done we messaged our dispatcher to let them know we were clearing the scene and they dropped another call on us instantly for.....abdominal pain.
View Quote
I remember you posting this before.
8/18/2018 10:06:00 PM EDT
[#33]
Some of you guys.. fuck I'm sorry I posted this. It wasn't the intent to bring up really messed up shit. I was thinking, me wife cheated, my bff stole my guns, etc. Sorry guys :(

Here's another one I remembered. My fucked up Uncle used to babysit me and my little bother when we were kids.. that asshole used to make me do all kinds of fucked up shit for food when I was a kid.
Worst one I remember was he made me stick my hand in their nasty assed toilet and swish all the funk around on the bottom with my hand to get a fucking can of fruit cocktail.. I honestly forgot about it until today. He always was a giant piece of shit. I remember it vividly now.
I must have been 6 or 7.. who does that shit to a kid?? Lousy piece of filth he was
8/18/2018 10:07:18 PM EDT
[#34]
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Quoted:
Oops.  Is NorCal around?
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Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
FHRC tried to become my president.
Just joined today, eh?

Already an expert on arfcom euphemisms?

Impressive.

https://i.imgur.com/Wokm0Gw.jpg
Oops.  Is NorCal around?
Wonder if he used to pilot drones....
8/18/2018 10:08:49 PM EDT
[#35]
Many will recall my thread earlier this year involving my being falsely charged with DUI and Reckless Driving. Both charges were eventually dismissed with prejudice but not after incurring nearly $8000 in legal fees and voluntary drug tests. A motorist in South Carolina (also a teacher and musician) whose case paralleled mine (made illegal U-Turn, pulled over and did marginally on field test, blew .000 at the station, not afforded a blood test, charged with DUI, case dismissed) recently won a $200,000 civil settlement for malicious prosecution.

So where is my $200,000 settlement you're wondering ?

The above motorist was Black.

I contacted 20 different civil rights attorneys and none would take my case basically because there was no racial component.
My only solace is a mutually agreed upon police accountability mediation set to occur at the end of August. Mediation is a chance to go one-on-one with the officer and hash things out with a mediator present. Had I not agreed to this, the investigation I opened several months ago likely would have concluded with a slap on the wrist or more DUI training for the cop but that doesn't do it for me. I want to look this guy in the eyes and have him explain why he did what he did to me.

One thing is sure; I will hand him his hat. Never getting my 8 grand back but at least this is something.
8/18/2018 10:09:41 PM EDT
[#36]
Accused of spousal abuse.
8/18/2018 10:10:20 PM EDT
[#37]
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Quoted:

I won't. He's still nuttier than squirrel poop on some days.
some days you guys just force things
I didn't force any part of that. That's more for your showboating than it is anything or anyone else here from what I see.

You're a strange person for sure. What you do in your free time is entirely up to you. Freedom yo. I just get sick of seeing you parade it through here as if we all want to know.

You haven't annoyed me to the point of getting on the ignore list though. Strangely. arfcom does have some strange obsession with Trannys
8/18/2018 10:11:39 PM EDT
[#38]
Quote History
Quoted:
Birth dad and his wife molested me and my step sister. That was pretty messed up.
View Quote
8/18/2018 10:12:47 PM EDT
[#39]
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I paint houses for a living. Something wrong with that?
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I was gonna say cheating excluded, since there's plenty of us here with that story..
But include it all. Post the single most fucked up thing someone has done to you in your life.

Mine is being cheated on by my wife of 8 years with a fucking drywaller. I'm closing in on 6 figures annually, we have 2 houses and my kids and her wanted for nothing, and I called the piece of shit she was seeing behind my back a painter because he works for a painting company.. she had the fucking nerve to correct that and say "he's a DRYWALLER, not a painter" as if it makes all the difference in the world.. it would be comical if it wasn't so fucked up..  Fucking bitch.
Post yours.
I paint houses for a living. Something wrong with that?
Not if you don’t bang people’s wives. Houses still need painting last i checked.
8/18/2018 10:13:58 PM EDT
[#40]
Mine is a very fucked up version of cheating. Brief, sanitized, reduced-drama version:

18, first serious time dating, woman I've known all through HS, we're both now in college
and had been seeing each other for a couple months, and I'm falling in love with her.
She takes my virginity, the next day leaves on a week-long trip without telling me
(we'd had a date set up.)

About four days later I get separate calls from a couple guys I don't know at all, and
one guy I barely know all telling me they ran a train on her multiple times over the
past few days. Those calls were fucked up but but I figured it was just some weird
head game.

Then she calls, and says the same thing, and adds in that I'm the worst lay
she's ever had while the guys that had called before are laughing in the background.

Definitely set the bar, and I've had plenty of other fucked up things happen to me,
but nothing messed with me as much as that did.
8/18/2018 10:14:17 PM EDT
[#41]
Nothing really fucked up happened to me.

But I got one I did to someone else.
There was this guy in out barracks that would get drunk, run out of beer then go mooch off of the rest of us. Well one Friday night I after finishing my first beer I pissed in the bottle all the way to the top put the cap back on it and stuck it in the door of the fridge.
A couple of hours later Lushbucket knocks on my door. I answer it and sure enough he asks if I have an extra beer. Guess which one he got. He was drunk so it took a few swallows before he says "Hey dude I this beer don't taste right."
"Tastes like piss don't it? I said to him with a smile. He just left the bottle on the desk and stomped out. Never had him bum beer from me again.
8/18/2018 10:15:36 PM EDT
[#42]
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Quoted:
Launch an RPG at me
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8/18/2018 10:15:49 PM EDT
[#43]
Some asshole tried to kill me.

He didn't make it

Click To View Spoiler
8/18/2018 10:18:47 PM EDT
[#44]
Quote History
Quoted:
A chick stuck a finger up my ass during sexy time.
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This isn't the "best thing" that ever happened to me thread
8/18/2018 10:25:06 PM EDT
[#45]
Quote History
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I got an A in medical school anatomy and I have no idea what that was
8/18/2018 10:25:53 PM EDT
[#46]
Quote History
Quoted:
A chick stuck a finger up my ass during sexy time.
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We’re you more shocked by the act or by how much you enjoyed it?
8/18/2018 10:26:16 PM EDT
[#47]
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Quoted:

I got an A in medical school anatomy and I have no idea what that was
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Back of head (hair gives it away) with a well-burnt ear is my guess.
8/18/2018 10:27:59 PM EDT
[#48]
Quote History
Quoted:
Mine is a very fucked up version of cheating. Brief, sanitized, reduced-drama version:

18, first serious time dating, woman I've known all through HS, we're both now in college
and had been seeing each other for a couple months, and I'm falling in love with her.
She takes my virginity, the next day leaves on a week-long trip without telling me
(we'd had a date set up.)

About four days later I get separate calls from a couple guys I don't know at all, and
one guy I barely know all telling me they ran a train on her multiple times over the
past few days. Those calls were fucked up but but I figured it was just some weird
head game.

Then she calls, and says the same thing, and adds in that I'm the worst lay
she's ever had while the guys that had called before are laughing in the background.

Definitely set the bar, and I've had plenty of other fucked up things happen to me,
but nothing messed with me as much as that did.
View Quote
That is just plain evil mean.
8/18/2018 10:28:23 PM EDT
[#49]
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Drywallers are the lowest form of scum on the planet.
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Around here they’re all methheads. They disappear after the first paycheck and reappear a week later once they have smoked up all their money.
8/18/2018 10:29:25 PM EDT
[#50]
Quote History
Quoted:
Back of head (hair gives it away) with a well-burnt ear is my guess.
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Quoted:
Quoted:

I got an A in medical school anatomy and I have no idea what that was
Back of head (hair gives it away) with a well-burnt ear is my guess.
When did we start fighting against orcs? That guy looks rough.

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