Alcohol makes my reflexes as quick as .... something really quick, my whole personality is all sunny, friendly and everybody just has to like me. Simply irresistible. Especially the girls are turned on by my subtle, Jaegermeister-induced charm. The more I drink, the more brilliant my remarks. I'm also invincible and better than them all, haha! I swear I drive better drunk than most people sober, whooosh, and around that corner, mwhuahaha, I bet that jogger girl just wants to be in my arms, her screaming at me must be some kind of hidden way of "showing all the right signals". Hmm, and how she bounces when she runs, up, and down, and up, up....oh, pretty bird!