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Posted: 11/5/2013 9:53:50 AM EDT
Nov 5, 2013 Fairfax, VA

In a suprise move today, the Obama Justice Department landed a stunning blow to the gun rights community.  Attorney General Eric Holder, on a stage surrounded by Federal and local law enforcement officials, and the families of several government Agents who were killed on duty by gun violence, announced Justice's new tactic in the war against violence on America's streets.

Citing a seminal study funded by former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomburg's Mayors Against Illegal Guns public safety organization, Attorney General Holder smiled broadly as he prepared to make his remarks before a group of high school students in the Washington DC suburb.

The gun rights issue is a contentious one, where a minority of Americans focus on an antiquated interpretation of the Bill of Rights.  In his remarks, Holder emphasised the day of arguing the meaning of the word "is" has passed.  In a move that had been hailed as brilliant by Democrat advisors, Attorney General Holder has successfully petitioned the courts to issue an injunction against the National Rifle Association, citing the second ammendement, et al, are the intellectual property of the Federal Government of the United States.  The order requires the NRA to immediately cease the use of language from any document of the Federal Government without the express written permission of a yet to be named Federal agency.

When reached for comment, NRA Executive Wayne LaPierre was flabbergasted, and insisted that the only thing that stops bad guys with guns is good guys with guns.  Apparently Mr. LaPierre didn't get the memo that Eric Holder is from the government, and here to help.

Follow this and other national news at www.
Link Posted: 11/5/2013 9:55:11 AM EDT
My blood pressure can't handle satire anymore.
Link Posted: 11/5/2013 9:55:46 AM EDT
FBHO and FEH

How can it be intellectual property??
Link Posted: 11/5/2013 9:56:24 AM EDT


Go fuck yourself.
Link Posted: 11/5/2013 9:58:08 AM EDT
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No shit, what's sad is that this kind of thing wouldn't surprise me if found true.
Link Posted: 11/5/2013 9:58:17 AM EDT
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Link Posted: 11/5/2013 9:58:37 AM EDT
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Quoted:
My blood pressure can't handle satire anymore.




Yep.


Can I FBHO anyway?
Link Posted: 11/5/2013 10:00:09 AM EDT
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Quoted:
My blood pressure can't handle satire anymore.
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Link Posted: 11/5/2013 10:00:44 AM EDT
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My blood pressure can't handle satire anymore.
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Link Posted: 11/5/2013 10:01:03 AM EDT
The "antiquated view" of the 2A is not  in the Bill of Rights.

Source?

ETA: Is this satire?
Link Posted: 11/5/2013 10:01:45 AM EDT
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Quoted:
Quoted:
My blood pressure can't handle satire anymore.

http://i.imgur.com/3NhKpge.gif


How did you know what I ate for lunch?
Link Posted: 11/5/2013 10:02:38 AM EDT
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The multiple spelling errors should be a clue.
Link Posted: 11/5/2013 10:04:45 AM EDT


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Quoted:



The "antiquated view" of the 2A is not  in the Bill of Rights.





Source?





ETA: Is this satire?
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yes and in poor taste at that.





 
Link Posted: 11/5/2013 10:04:59 AM EDT
Link Posted: 11/5/2013 10:06:23 AM EDT


Link Posted: 11/5/2013 10:06:39 AM EDT
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Quoted:

The multiple spelling errors should be a clue.
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Source?

The multiple spelling errors should be a clue.


So, are you saying it did come from the White House?  
Link Posted: 11/5/2013 10:07:40 AM EDT
Can mods go ahead and nuke threads like this, or at least flag it as retarded?
Link Posted: 11/5/2013 10:08:18 AM EDT
did you get this from theonion.com???

Link Posted: 11/5/2013 10:08:55 AM EDT
On a scale of 1 to 10, I score this satire as "shitty".
Link Posted: 11/5/2013 10:09:51 AM EDT
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Can mods go ahead and nuke threads like this, or at least flag it as retarded?
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that'd be awesome!



and if it were true they should just start using "because fuck you - that's why"


Link Posted: 11/5/2013 10:10:03 AM EDT
OP.....I know what he's been smokin.  

So, what have you been smokin?

Aloha, Mark
Link Posted: 11/5/2013 10:12:05 AM EDT
And yet.......................................Water is still wet !

How can this be you say ?   Because the goverment says so, that's why.
Link Posted: 11/5/2013 10:12:23 AM EDT
Link Posted: 11/5/2013 10:14:23 AM EDT
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Quoted:
Quoted:
My blood pressure can't handle satire anymore.

http://i.imgur.com/3NhKpge.gif

I would love to go to Taco Bell, but we have to take this thread with us so we can enjoy the comedy.
Link Posted: 11/5/2013 10:17:36 AM EDT
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Quoted:

I would love to go to Taco Bell, but we have to take this thread with us so we can enjoy the comedy.
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Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
My blood pressure can't handle satire anymore.

http://i.imgur.com/3NhKpge.gif

I would love to go to Taco Bell, but we have to take this thread with us so we can enjoy the comedy.


The irony of an Eric Holder/gun control satire turning into discussion of making a run for the border
Link Posted: 11/5/2013 10:19:26 AM EDT
I lost in on the TacoBell gif.
Link Posted: 11/5/2013 10:20:27 AM EDT
why should we listen to eric fast and furious holder anyway.he probably needs more guns to sell to mexico or whatever

Link Posted: 11/5/2013 10:35:05 AM EDT
Ok, I'll play. "A well regulated Malitia, being necessary to the security of a free State,The right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed"
There I said it!!!!!
Come fucking sue me Eric Holder!
Link Posted: 11/5/2013 10:39:55 AM EDT
FPNI.
Link Posted: 11/5/2013 10:44:31 AM EDT
Link Posted: 11/5/2013 10:45:52 AM EDT
Who didn't see this coming?
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