For starters, we are talking about USGI mags, correct?
Without having the rifle in hand, let me just take a stab in the dark.
1. The upper to lower fit is tight in regards to the amount of gap between the two. When you load the fully loaded mag, you have to shove/bang the mag is place. Since the mag has run out of room to allow the rounds to go any further lower, you are just cam'g the shit out of the mag and button.
2. Regarding replacing the mag button, you are wasting your time. The problem is the upper to lower fit, including the carrier fit into the upper. Over time, the carrier will grove/mate into the upper, which will allow you to load a full mag as the carrier will ride a little higher. But until this happens, just remember to lock the carrier/bolt back and load the mag. By loading this way, the bullets are not compressed into the mag, and loading will be a snap. Also, leave the carrier back when the rifle goes dry, just insert a mag, and hit the bolt release button to charge the weapon again.
Hope this helps.