Quoted:
Taking it a step further.

Feeling confident and willing to really devote to improving, I decided I'd take the advice of the post who suggested using a full size 9mm.

At the moment, I only have compact 9's, and one P80 g17 length that I really dont even like and wished I'd never put together...  So I headed to the gun shop this morning and picked up an M9A1.

Here's the results after 45 rounds!

Implementing every suggestion here, except for the 9mm can because this barrel is not threaded, I loaded up the first mag and did... meh okay I guess:

https://www.ar15.com/media/mediaFiles/10799/20220521_130953_jpg-2391843.JPG

^ everything is on the paper but I'm still dropping low.

I figured it was from flinching, so again turning to the advice here, I did 10 shots dry fire and bingo I caught myself flinching even when I KNEW it was not loaded.

Loaded up another 15 and went to it:

https://www.ar15.com/media/mediaFiles/10799/20220521_132626_jpg-2391845.JPG

^  At least the flinching is getting better, I thought.  So I took a breath and ran through some more dry fires.

Loaded up the last 15 I had with me and took it nice and slow.  Here's where I'm at as of right now:

https://www.ar15.com/media/mediaFiles/10799/20220521_133942_jpg-2391848.JPG

^  I noticed right away that if it took my damn time, concentrate only on the front sight (another suggestion from here) and just let things happen like they were in slow motion (yet another suggestion here) things turn out MUCH better.

Those guys on the bottom are from me still flippin flinching though.  At least IMO I recognize what's going on.  I'm really really really thankful for everyone's suggestions here.  

I've said it before but I'm serious you guys are helping me more than I ever thought I could do by myself.

This week I've probably shot more than I did the entire last year.  I've been hitting it every night that wasn't raining.  That first round I had with the 44mag was an eye opener.  I've been missing out on really enjoying pistol shooting because I never asked for help, but you guys sure have helped me.

I'll keep at it, but just to say it again, thanks everyone!