There comes a quiet afternoon, and then a morning... (Page 6 of 33)
The Happy Hessian & his Wonderful Wife!
Joined:
Oct 2002
Posts:
10534
EE: 100% (118)
TN, USA
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John, I hope you have a wonderful day today.
Still praying for you brother. 
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Why do you own a fire extinguisher when you have the fire department to protect you???
Elected officials should wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers so we could identify their corporate sponsors.
Elected officials should wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers so we could identify their corporate sponsors.
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So that was Grief night.
Something unspoken had passed between us yesterday, we knew it would happen somehow..... Phones off, tablets put aside, nothing on tv worth watching anyway. It began with drinks and small talk in the front yard, sharing thoughts about the day, laughing at the antics of our cats and dog. Managed to finish dinner and then, we both broke. Heaving sobs, grabbing at each other, and then to bed. Wave after wave, and just when you thought it was done, it would come again. “Who’s gonna fix stuff? I asked, and she said “I will- I can figure it out!”. And the animals joined in- it wasn’t a night for “Get Down!!!”. We cried and cried- saying everything and nothing. And finally, completely exhausted, fell asleep. Glad that together, we’d chosen A King-Sized bed. 
Thank you each. Have a great day. There WILL be something good in it. John |
Go From Darkness Unto Light
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I can't imagine all the emotions you must be going through. Thank you for taking the time to write this down for us. There is a magnificent beauty in your outlook. I hope to have the same grace as you some day.
You are also in my prayers. You and your incredible wife. |
Do you ever get the feeling the world is a tuxedo and you are a pair of brown shoes?
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Just to thank you all again- There are no wrong or unworthy words. Neurologist today, now have a ct scan scheduled- didn't really expect much out of today- Nice guy, read the imaging and gave me his interpretations- nothing new really, more verification. "Inoperable" kind of stood out. Disappointed a bit, as from what I'd heard, I expected some kind of "cognitive" testing. Was really disappoint I didn't have to spell anything backwards, and I was really ready if he was going to ask "Who's the President?" I was really looking forward to saying "Well, I can,t remember his name, but I'm sure glad it's not Hillary". 
"How about a hard one, like "Who's the Secretary of State?" Guess after running my gums for a few minutes he could see I'm cognitive enough.... Just really tired after the past 2 days. Just want to get home, have a couple, and forget it all for a while..... Jeeze, that sounds just like a normal work day.
G'night all, John |
Go From Darkness Unto Light
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Originally Posted By Mds238:
Hi John, Just checking in again. Hope you have a good night. May the Lord hold you and Karla close and protect you. Good night, Mike S. |
“the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being”.
Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
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Good morning-
Just had one of those early morning “re-plays”- My conversation with the neurologist yesterday. The ct scan is to see if there are other cancers. Even though they can’t do anything, they seem to want to understand everything that’s going on. Once all that’s done, I will finally see the oncologist. I told him that any intervention solely to extend time would be rejected. He actually agreed with me. He said that even with what he was seeing in the imaging, my “case” would go before some sort of “surgical board”, but any action by them is unlikely. Reading past his politeness, I could see he meant no way, no how. He also said that when all was said and done, there will probably be a referral to a “Palliative Team”. (End of life for you in Rio Lindo)). And for some reason I agreed I would see them....... Kind of glad I forgot that one when Karla and I talked- suppose she’s going to find out anyway. This whole thing is nothing like you see on tv, in movies, or read in books. At all....... Where’s Dr House when you need him?
Have a wonderful day. There will be something good in it. John |
Go From Darkness Unto Light
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Good morning John,
I have quietly been reading about your journey. Although I can offer nothing but prayers and hopeful wishes for you and Karla, you have offered much to me. As others have said, the grace you have displayed is beyond anything I could imagine being able to project. Each time hover over that little green arrow next to your thread, I have to prepare myself for what to expect from you. But I've come to learn that I can't prepare because you have proven to be a man who never ceases to amaze me with both your humbleness and your strength. Thank you for sharing. Jeff |
Work, work, work....curse of the drinking man
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Morning John,
As of late, I find myself getting to work in the morning, firing up the computer, and going to this thread... As I go to it, I find myself anxious as to whether you had a good night, and how Karla's doing.. As I bang away through the day, I catch myself thing about ya'll... Strangers to me, but good folk that have opened up their lives in what we all know we'll face, but choose to ignore. I guess it's on my mind so much, because at 47 years old, I've realized my mortality as of late. Still a young man by some standards, but long in the tooth by others. It's hard to think that in reality, my life is at a minimum half over. Being the tight-ass of the household with money, I'm the one always worried about scrimping, saving, etc. for "the future". You've made me realize that the future is now. Been wanting to take the wife and kids on a guided striper fishing trip on Texhoma for a couple years... Just haven't found the time. Now I'll find the time... Just like all the other little trips and things we've wanted to do "someday". You have somehow managed to help me "soak it all in" John... And for that, I cannot thank you enough. Carpe Diem Brother, and God bless... Dave |
Nobody gets out of here alive....
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DAD
AND THE NIGHTFIGHTERS So Dad, who didn't have a rascist bone in his body, loved to share this story: During WWII, with the 351st Inf. Reg., 88th Inf. Div., as a Chaplain's Assistant AND Machinegunner (How's THAT happen?, and did you know, CIBs used to be made of solid sterling silver?), they were garrisoned in a small village in northern Italy. Very remote, even without electricity, the villagers had never before seen a black man. "Who are these men? From where do they come?"etc.. Finally, one afternoon, the guys were just sitting around, and in response to constant questions, the company wise-ass (not Dad, the OTHER one ), says:
"Them? Them's our nightfighters." Everyone, including the black guys, just laughed their socks off. Except the Italians, Dad said. "They believed it" 
So, I mentioned I've done some artwork- gave most of it away, actually sold a few pieces ( a fool and his money...), and kept a bit. Don't think I was every really good at it, but it was fun. So, here's one of my few attempts at something other than "Western" art: Attached File Detail: Attached File It's title is: NIGHTFIGHTER
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Go From Darkness Unto Light
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Originally Posted By usjet:
DAD AND THE NIGHTFIGHTERS https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/80978/NF1-642867.JPG Detail: https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/80978/NF2-642868.JPG It's title is: NIGHTFIGHTER
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The OP either shut it down for the night or is in the bathroom covered in shoe polish from belt to knees trying to get the lighting right -Sierra5
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Originally Posted By RikWriter:
When I face mortality, I hope I can face it with the good grace and humor you have displayed here, John. |
I just can't fathom the complete and total near-sightedness, ignorance, and bigotry it must take to see things that narrowly. I imagine it's like taking a color-blindness test, and failing.
Shit, I can see the "46", why the fuck can't you?
Shit, I can see the "46", why the fuck can't you?
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Just to say, once again,
There is nothing you can say wrong, there is nothing trite or useless. If you’ve somehow been led to put it here, it makes a difference, and we thank you for it, all of it. Just finished spending time with my favorite Major, US Army, Retired. Hasn’t been out in years, and he brought a bottle of the good stuff, so, I gotta be careful here, but as has happened recently, we talked of things we never could have imagined, those things that were true then, are true now, will be true tomorrow. It helps he is the only Major, US Army, Retired I know. And he always did get a kick when I said “I really liked you better back when you were Captain”. He said: “Me too”.
O’club is closed, gentlemen. G’night, John |
Go From Darkness Unto Light
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Hey John,
I was out on the lawn tractor today for a couple hours and you passed through my thoughts. I've always hated doing yard work but lately I'm grateful to be in the sun, heat, and humidity making long not quite straight lines in my yard here in rural Eastern North Carolina thinking about life and friends. I miss the west. Getting caught back up on this thread I remembered as my wife (and I) prepared for her time here to end we had many of those same really deep conversations you're having. New Friendships were deeper, Old friends more important, life richer. There were times when we wouldn't trade what we were going through (as awful as it was) for anything. But, at some point-realize that it will be just you and Jesus. And that's all it needs to be and I hope that is a comfort to you. Become acquainted as quickly as you can with hospice (palliative care). They are awesome people and will help in hundreds of ways. It will ease Karla's heart and burdens. My prayer today for you both is that your night is full of peace. Show us more art and eat all the ice cream! |
The more I know- the less I understand
Everyday I catch God smiling at me through the eyes of a horse.
Everyday I catch God smiling at me through the eyes of a horse.
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Hi John,
Just said a prayer for you and Karla. During that prayer the thought entered my mind that you have been led here to share and witness to us. God moves in ways we can never fully understand. I think many of us have been moved to consider our own worlds and reorganized some of our priorities. The word "Grace" has been used a few times by posters describing your character. That word has jumped out at me more than once. I ask God to cover yo in His Grace. Have a good, both of you. Mike S. |
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Originally Posted By BTccw:
Hey John, I was out on the lawn tractor today for a couple hours and you passed through my thoughts. I've always hated doing yard work but lately I'm grateful to be in the sun, heat, and humidity making long not quite straight lines in my yard here in rural Eastern North Carolina thinking about life and friends. I miss the west. Getting caught back up on this thread I remembered as my wife (and I) prepared for her time here to end we had many of those same really deep conversations you're having. New Friendships were deeper, Old friends more important, life richer. There were times when we wouldn't trade what we were going through (as awful as it was) for anything. But, at some point-realize that it will be just you and Jesus. And that's all it needs to be and I hope that is a comfort to you. Become acquainted as quickly as you can with hospice (palliative care). They are awesome people and will help in hundreds of ways. It will ease Karla's heart and burdens. My prayer today for you both is that your night is full of peace. Show us more art and eat all the ice cream! And thank you for that, I hope you’ve somehow found peace, that you’ve found strength to continue. Somehow I think you have. LOOK at that lawn! Just LOOK at it!
Thank you all, and apologies to admin/staff for using all this bandwidth. But when I re-upped this year, it was for a lifetime membership, so cut me some slack.
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Go From Darkness Unto Light
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John,
Every so often God seems to reveal to us something about life - about Himself, even - through interactions with others that He puts in our lives. For me, after coming across your thread by chance today, you've shown to me the graceful ebb and flow of life, the gentle poetry that it always seems to boil down to - like a guitar string, vibrating as it does about a central position, always moving yet always sounding the same note. I hope that doesn't sound too silly or trite, as others have said - but your words and the baring of your soul have moved me in a way I don't think I've quite felt before. For that, I thank you - truly, thank you. Your musings here are funny, deep, and, like another poster said, are possibly the most human things I have ever read. I hope this day has been good to you, and that there has been something good in it. I hope you know that today, for me, that something good has been you and your writings 
God bless you and Karla; you will both be in my prayers. Taylor |
“It takes very little to govern good people. Very little. And bad people cant be governed at all. Or if they could I never heard of it.”
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Taylor- as I was bringing Karla up to date (she just got home, I was so happy to see her),
And there, at the bottom of the page, was your post. As I read aloud, for the first time I’d seen it, I found it hard to continue. You honor and heal in ways you perhaps will never know. Thank you, John |
Go From Darkness Unto Light
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Hey John,
I have been reading your thread. While I am not so good with the inspirational words or wisdom, you were in my thoughts today and you said that no words were too trite or meaningless so I will post my dumb little story anyway. I was at the dentist today having my teeth drilled on. As I was laying there while the good doc did his thing with that fucking drill, I was trying to think of other things to make the time pass. I wondered how things where going today for you. Then I thought well whatever he is doing, I hope to fuck, at the very least he is having a better time than me <--(note the teeth pun. I warned you).Anyway, dumb stories aside, I do hope you are having a good day today and I hope tomorrow is even better. |
Thanks, Burnsy- always did appreciate a guy speaks my language.
Anyway, me and Karla had a bit of a talk, and she can’t understand quite why I’ going through a lot of this: cancer center called today, an didn’t have anything right,really. So, I said, “ there’s gonna come a time when I keep an appointment with the cancer guy, and I’m gonna say- “Well, you’ve got it all, everything ordered, and here I am.” “So, what have you got to say?” Just wait until he finds out he’s been published on the Internet.
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Go From Darkness Unto Light
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Originally Posted By usjet:
DAD AND THE NIGHTFIGHTERS So Dad, who didn't have a rascist bone in his body, loved to share this story: During WWII, with the 351st Inf. Reg., 88th Inf. Div., as a Chaplain's Assistant AND Machinegunner (How's THAT happen?, and did you know, CIBs used to be made of solid sterling silver?), they were garrisoned in a small village in northern Italy. Very remote, even without electricity, the villagers had never before seen a black man. "Who are these men? From where do they come?"etc.. Finally, one afternoon, the guys were just sitting around, and in response to constant questions, the company wise-ass (not Dad, the OTHER one ), says:
"Them? Them's our nightfighters." Everyone, including the black guys, just laughed their socks off. Except the Italians, Dad said. "They believed it"
So, I mentioned I've done some artwork- gave most of it away, actually sold a few pieces ( a fool and his money...), and kept a bit. Don't think I was every really good at it, but it was fun. So, here's one of my few attempts at something other than "Western" art: https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/80978/NF1-642867.JPG Detail: https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/80978/NF2-642868.JPG It's title is: NIGHTFIGHTER
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I’ve been trying to keep up with this thread. Shed tears many times. Started to post several times but always deleted them because I just couldn’t find the right words. The love and compassion shown by what amounts to a bunch of complete strangers connected by a hobby is truly amazing. John, I pray God provides you peace. I pray he comforts and strengthens your friends and family. |
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Last post today.
I hope that any medical folks here have not seen or felt any disparagement. I have never seen a harder working group, from orderlies to Doctors, the care and compassion is phenomenal. It’s the system- it will beat you down, patient and provider. You know it better than I. So thank you each, whever you are, whatever it is you do. Know, you do make a difference. |
Go From Darkness Unto Light
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Good morning all.
Since this IS a "Gun" Forum, My nephew is a Marine, and when he got back from "Iraqi Freedom", he picked up his phone one afternoon and said: "That's the GPS coordinates where I buried an AK in the desert- They wouldn't let us bring back anything". And I said, "You know, just as soon as you guys left, they crawled out of the dunes and dug it up, right?" He simply smiled and said "Yeah, I know...". I built 11 AKs back when parts kits were complete and cheap- This was a $69 1982 Romanian "G", virgin and all matching, built on a "Marshhawk" blank. It's the last I have, done up as a "Battlefield Pick-Up". His mom's visiting, and will take it back for him. It's the last one I have left. Wish I could be there when he gets it I think he'll like it, eh? Attached File Have a great day There will be something good in it John |
Go From Darkness Unto Light
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A strange sensation this am.
I feel somehow as if I'm standing aside, watching myself do stuff- It's the weirdest thing, came on early as I saw Karla off to see her sister. My gait has seemed to fallen off a bit more- probably due to the after-effects of that bottle of " the good stuff" the Major brought by yesterday- One can only hope............... Really don't want to do this gun show thing today, but it was my idea, plans have been made, and what am I gonna do? Just sit around and have my own private "pity party"? Actually, that's exactly what I'd like to do somehow. But, it's off I go. Have a great day all, and be careful out there. You never know when you might be sharing the road with some half-blind madman...... John |
Go From Darkness Unto Light
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Originally Posted By usjet:
I built 11 AKs back when parts kits were complete and cheap- This was a $69 1982 Romanian "G", virgin and all matching, built on a "Marshhawk" blank. It's the last I have, done up as a "Battlefield Pick-Up". His mom's visiting, and will take it back for him. It's the last one I have left. Wish I could be there when he gets it I think he'll like it, eh? Attached File |
I just can't fathom the complete and total near-sightedness, ignorance, and bigotry it must take to see things that narrowly. I imagine it's like taking a color-blindness test, and failing.
Shit, I can see the "46", why the fuck can't you?
Shit, I can see the "46", why the fuck can't you?
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Real quiet around here all of a sudden.
Good- means you guys are out there busy living. Went to the gun show, as I told Karla, if I'd known what a good time I'd have, "wouldn't have missed it for the world". Got home, we had a wonderful nap. Keeping it short for tonight, but I did buy something. This for me: Attached File This for her- she loves it, it changes colors all the time. Just had to get it. Attached File And there were some really good deals on guns. Another time, another place. Hope you guys are getting every drop of juice there is, I know I am. G'night all. Monday will be here before you know it........ John |
Go From Darkness Unto Light
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Originally Posted By usjet: Thank you so very much. Belen, and surrounding area, for those of you who don't know, is one of the most verdant, abundant, beautiful places in NM, especially if you're into ranching/farming. I've walked the fields of Belen, I've had Belen beef. You travel from the high desert to Belen, and you cannot believe you're in the same state. I'm one who in the best of times, heads home, and home is where I'll be until I have to leave. And right now, with twisted face, twisted voice and the dribbling thing when I eat, will have to respectfully pass. Karla won't be happy, she read this and got all excited. But your invite has meant so very much, and for that, WE thank you.
Both sides of my family are from Belen, lots still live in the area. I moved away at 5. Moved to Deming when I was 13. New Mexico is always ‘home’. |
Signatures are stupid and annoying.
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Originally Posted By usjet:
A strange sensation this am. I feel somehow as if I'm standing aside, watching myself do stuff- It's the weirdest thing, came on early as I saw Karla off to see her sister. My gait has seemed to fallen off a bit more- probably due to the after-effects of that bottle of " the good stuff" the Major brought by yesterday- One can only hope............... Really don't want to do this gun show thing today, but it was my idea, plans have been made, and what am I gonna do? Just sit around and have my own private "pity party"? Actually, that's exactly what I'd like to do somehow. But, it's off I go. Have a great day all, and be careful out there. You never know when you might be sharing the road with some half-blind madman...... John I think One of the things about your posts that really impact me, is that I start reflecting about my own life, and "what if?".... How many times has my son, wife, friend, etc... mentioned wanting to do something, and the outcome is "yeah , we can do that....sometime....." I think I need to make those "sometimes" occur more frequently, and sooner, rather than later.. Hope you had a great time at the gun show.. I haven't been to 1 in a few yrs, need to go check them out again. Have a good day, prayers for you both! |
The Happy Hessian & his Wonderful Wife!
Joined:
Oct 2002
Posts:
10539
EE: 100% (118)
TN, USA
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John,
Rainy day here. The wife and I spent the day in bed. We are blessed that we are able to do that. Then we got up and watched goofy comedies. I reccomend that you and Karla try it sometime. That's why this post is so late. I hope that God blesses you and yours with comfort and peace. I'm heading to bed now. I pray you are living and resting well. David |
If you would do a thing, do it with thy might! Ecclesiastes 9-10
In totus res peto ponder
(In all things seek balance)
In totus res peto ponder
(In all things seek balance)
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02:00?
And I’ve already been up long enough to make coffee. Feeling a lot of anger. Don’t remember what I was dreaming except it was all anger too, if that makes any sense. And does anything make sense this time of day, anyway? Hate sharing this part of it all, but it is part of it . “Share the Pain” Bet Merle Haggard could have got a good song out of that..... |
Go From Darkness Unto Light
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Originally Posted By usjet: Thank you all, and apologies to admin/staff for using all this bandwidth. But when I re-upped this year, it was for a lifetime membership, so cut me some slack. That reminded me of every time the gal at Sam's club asks if I want to renew my membership early. I say.... "I could get hit by a bus tomorrow, I'm not leaving you $45 for nothing They always look at me like  Good luck, stay peaceful. |
I only eat corn to evaluate how my digestive system is working. It's like a bunch of little bookmarks - bcw107
There comes a quiet afternoon, and then a morning... (Page 6 of 33)
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