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Posted: 10/16/2023 6:08:03 AM EDT
A Nebraska funeral worker was busted last week after he had sex with a life-sized doll that belonged to the dead man he was tasked with transporting, police said. Ryan Smith, 41, was arrested Friday on charges of burglary, criminal trespassing, and tampering with physical evidence — and was promptly fired from his Omaha mortuary gig. Smith became smitten with the doll after spotting it inside the Rock Creek Apartments unit he and a colleague were dispatched to collect the body of a man who died a natural death, according to court documents obtained by WOWT. MORE ON: https://nypost.com/2023/10/15/nebraska-funeral-worker-arrested-for-using-dead-mans-sex-doll/amp/ 
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Posted: 10/16/2023 6:08:44 AM EDT
[#1]
Well, could have been worse.
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Posted: 10/16/2023 6:10:43 AM EDT
[#2]
What. The. Fuck.
I’ll never understand what makes some people tick. |
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Posted: 10/16/2023 6:11:01 AM EDT
[#3]
Before you laugh at him, keep in mind that your gfs/wives are even dirtier than that doll.
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Posted: 10/16/2023 6:11:23 AM EDT
[#4]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Well, could have been worse. This IS the happy ending. |
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Posted: 10/16/2023 6:12:19 AM EDT
[#5]
he's got... lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes
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Posted: 10/16/2023 6:13:00 AM EDT
[#6]
Of his choices of who to have sex with , he did choose correctly.....
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Posted: 10/16/2023 6:14:20 AM EDT
[#7]
How is that even illegal?
What could they charge him with? £uckin funsuckers is what they are. |
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Posted: 10/16/2023 6:14:47 AM EDT
[#8]
At least he didn't fuck the dude..
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Posted: 10/16/2023 6:16:28 AM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted: How is that even illegal? What could they charge him with? £uckin funsuckers is what they are. The criminal trespass/burglary charges makes me think he transported the corpse to the funeral home and then returned to the apartment. |
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Posted: 10/16/2023 6:17:03 AM EDT
[#10]
I need to see the doll before I pass judgement.
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Posted: 10/16/2023 6:17:57 AM EDT
[#11]
Looks like down syndrome.
Can't necessarily blame him... no one else was going to use it and last I checked - they aren't cheap. At least he didn't bang the dead guy. |
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Posted: 10/16/2023 6:18:13 AM EDT
[#12]
Amazon link missing from story.
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Posted: 10/16/2023 6:25:29 AM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Of his choices of who to have sex with , he did choose correctly..... Well, he probably thought to himself, ''she didn't say no..........'' |
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Posted: 10/16/2023 6:27:23 AM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I need to see the doll before I pass judgement. Thank you for being the one with the sense to state the obvious. Everyone else fails at life |
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Posted: 10/16/2023 6:27:33 AM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted: The criminal trespass/burglary charges makes me think he transported the corpse to the funeral home and then returned to the apartment. I mean, if I died in my sleep I hope someone would take my sex doll out of the house before my kids got there. It's like please delete my browser history. |
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Posted: 10/16/2023 6:33:26 AM EDT
[#16]
pics of doll not loading
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Posted: 10/16/2023 6:35:00 AM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted: pics of doll not loading Police have her in evidence lockup and she's under a gag order. |
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Posted: 10/16/2023 6:36:48 AM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I need to see the doll before I pass judgement. 
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Posted: 10/16/2023 6:37:08 AM EDT
[#19]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I mean, if I died in my sleep I hope someone would take my sex doll out of the house before my kids got there. It's like please delete my browser history. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: The criminal trespass/burglary charges makes me think he transported the corpse to the funeral home and then returned to the apartment. I mean, if I died in my sleep I hope someone would take my sex doll out of the house before my kids got there. It's like please delete my browser history. Very true. Dude might have just been trying to carry out an act of broship for a stranger 
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Posted: 10/16/2023 6:39:36 AM EDT
[#20]
from the article: The Douglas County Crime Lab is in the midst of processing fingerprints lifted from the moved items — and is planning to request DNA samples from the doll.
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Posted: 10/16/2023 6:41:53 AM EDT
[#21]
He should have just taken his wallet and bought a hooker.
And honestly, I’d be more pissed over that unless I was junior and looking forward to my unspoiled by outside family inheritance. |
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Posted: 10/16/2023 6:44:21 AM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted: At least he didn't fuck the dude.. I don't know what this says about our current "standards" in our modern society. While while this is the correct answer it is also pretty damn sad at the same time. |
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Posted: 10/16/2023 6:45:12 AM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted: The criminal trespass/burglary charges makes me think he transported the corpse to the funeral home and then returned to the apartment. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: How is that even illegal? What could they charge him with? £uckin funsuckers is what they are. The criminal trespass/burglary charges makes me think he transported the corpse to the funeral home and then returned to the apartment. Well, of course. He wanted some private time with the "girl". Makes me wonder what he may have done with real females. |
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Posted: 10/16/2023 6:50:31 AM EDT
[#24]
Funny everyone was thinking the same thing.
Ironically, had he fucked around with the corpse, this wouldn't even have made the news. |
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Posted: 10/16/2023 6:51:49 AM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted: He should have just taken his wallet and bought a hooker. And honestly, I’d be more pissed over that unless I was junior and looking forward to my unspoiled by outside family inheritance. Out of the box thinking you are, mmmmm? |
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Posted: 10/16/2023 7:05:33 AM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted: At least he didn't fuck the dude.. Yet. |
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Posted: 10/16/2023 7:09:40 AM EDT
[#27]
Victimless crime
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Posted: 10/16/2023 7:11:14 AM EDT
[#28]
Dead guy would prolly approve. Accused username?
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Posted: 10/16/2023 7:24:45 AM EDT
[#29]
Florida Man didn’t even bat an eye at this.
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Posted: 10/16/2023 7:31:15 AM EDT
[#30]
Next date was going to be a ménage troi.
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Posted: 10/16/2023 7:39:42 AM EDT
[#31]
The doll wanted it
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Posted: 10/16/2023 7:40:25 AM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted: The criminal trespass/burglary charges makes me think he transported the corpse to the funeral home and then returned to the apartment. This |
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Posted: 10/16/2023 7:41:14 AM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Out of the box thinking you are, mmmmm?
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Posted: 10/16/2023 7:41:43 AM EDT
[#34]
Narrow eyes are a sign.
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Posted: 10/16/2023 7:42:32 AM EDT
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted: At least he didn't fuck the dude.. I was expecting him banging the dead guy and the sex doll!
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Posted: 10/16/2023 7:43:51 AM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted: from the article: The Douglas County Crime Lab is in the midst of processing fingerprints lifted from the moved items — and is planning to request DNA samples from the doll. "You work at a crime lab?" "Yes. Yes I do." "WOW just like the movies! That must be amazing to be doing such CSI level stuff! Amazing!" "um.......yeah, sure." I know someone who works in one of these labs. This is the kind of crap they deal with.....when there even is anything to do.
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Posted: 10/16/2023 7:47:34 AM EDT
[#37]
Well that’s nasty on multiple levels.
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Posted: 10/16/2023 7:48:03 AM EDT
[#38]
The police detective noticed that some evidence had been removed from the scene when he returned later that evening hoping to canvas the house privately. Upon entry he discovered the police chief was there also searching the bedroom, and had just uncovered a six pack of condoms and some KY Jelly and was "just holding them as evidence".
the two searched for over an hour before concluding that someone had stolen the sex doll. |
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Posted: 10/16/2023 7:49:31 AM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Well, of course. He wanted some private time with the "girl". Makes me wonder what he may have done with real females. Exactly. |
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Posted: 10/16/2023 7:50:10 AM EDT
[#40]
He went and fucked the wrong potato.
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Posted: 10/16/2023 7:51:12 AM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted: The police detective noticed that some evidence had been removed from the scene when he returned later that evening hoping to canvas the house privately. Upon entry he discovered the police chief was there also searching the bedroom, and had just uncovered a six pack of condoms and some KY Jelly and was "just holding them as evidence". the two searched for over an hour before concluding that someone had stolen the sex doll. He got sloppy seconds after the Sling blade dude. |
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Posted: 10/16/2023 7:51:47 AM EDT
[#42]
Better the doll than the corpse I guess.
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Posted: 10/16/2023 7:52:01 AM EDT
[#43]
i wanna know HOW this came to be investigated and/or known to someone besides him…..wtf
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Posted: 10/16/2023 7:53:40 AM EDT
[#44]
 Who Has My Pocket P*ssy!? |
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Posted: 10/16/2023 7:55:07 AM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted: The doll wanted it not potty |
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Posted: 10/16/2023 7:58:26 AM EDT
[#46]
What did they charge him with?
 Another victimless crime? |
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Posted: 10/16/2023 8:17:47 AM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryQuoted: The police detective noticed that some evidence had been removed from the scene when he returned later that evening hoping to canvas the house privately. Upon entry he discovered the police chief was there also searching the bedroom, and had just uncovered a six pack of condoms and some KY Jelly and was "just holding them as evidence". the two searched for over an hour before concluding that someone had stolen the sex doll. Um, yeah, "hoping to canvas the house privately". And "discovered the police chief was there". Just a routine death investigation, right? Word got out about the doll and the cops were going to do an "in depth" investigation. Funeral home guy got busted because he chilled their action. |
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Posted: 10/16/2023 8:23:04 AM EDT
[#48]
Quote HistoryQuoted: The police detective noticed that some evidence had been removed from the scene when he returned later that evening hoping to canvas the house privately. Upon entry he discovered the police chief was there also searching the bedroom, and had just uncovered a six pack of condoms and some KY Jelly and was "just holding them as evidence". the two searched for over an hour before concluding that someone had stolen the sex doll. The cops were thinking the same thing, he just got caught. Must have been an expensive doll for everyone to want a go with it. 
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Posted: 10/16/2023 8:32:13 AM EDT
[#49]
His DNA is in every dead person he processed for the funeral home.
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Posted: 10/16/2023 8:32:50 AM EDT
[#50]
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