[ARCHIVED THREAD] - My wife filed for divorce (Page 1 of 3)
Posted: 8/12/2020 6:13:36 PM EDT
|
In 2013. The fact that she made it formal is moot; in spirit I had tacitly sued her. It was mutual. We are still married today. I want to keep this simple, and drop one observation: if we had gone through with the divorce, the experiences we've had as a family over the past seven years would have never been. I can see, in pictures and in memory, that which I would've lost. I've waited seven years to post this, and now it seems that I should say more. A lot more. But I have no interest in trying to convince anyone of anything. I do want to glorify God, because I believe that these images are evidence of his unmerited favor toward us, and proof that what he says in his word is true. So be it that a near divorce brought about that revelation; I was a blind man leading my family into a ditch, and my pride was such that that's what it took to open my eyes. |
|
|
|
Quoted: In 2013. The fact that she made it formal is moot; in spirit I had tacitly sued her. It was mutual. We are still married today. I want to keep this simple, and drop one observation: if we had gone through with the divorce, the experiences we've had as a family over the past seven years would have never been. I can see, in pictures and in memory, that which I would've lost. When I look at these vacation pics from 2017, it's a blow of sweet nostalgia and gratitude. I've waited seven years to post this, and now it seems that I should say more. A lot more. But I have no interest in trying to convince anyone of anything. I do want to glorify God, because I believe that these images are evidence of his unmerited favor toward us, and proof that what he says in his word is true. So be it that a near divorce brought about that revelation; I was a blind man leading my family into a ditch, and my pride was such that that's what it took to open my eyes. https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/244128/FB_IMG_1590638993135_jpg-1543674.JPG https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/244128/FB_IMG_1590638998453_jpg-1543676.JPG I wish you all the luck in the world. I filed for divorce 9 years in. She had an affair. We had two children. I foolishly worked it out with her and didnt follow through. At 22 years in, she ran away with a fella my oldest son's age. Divorced then. Found out she had been sleeping with half the town after the fact. Best thing that ever happened to me. Left the boys with me the second time. I never even got a lawyer, child support....nothing. also the best thing I ever did. Cut the bitch completely out of my life. Praise God, good riddance. Married #2. Wish I'd have met her first. |
|
Quoted: Good for you, all of you. Why did she file? How did you overcome it? I was providing absolutely no spiritual leadership in my household at the time, and in the absence of that, I believe that my wife truly felt like she was doing the right thing by filing. As I started to understand that I could never exercise right leadership without putting myself under the authority of a benevolent, loving, sovereign God, things began to fall in line. When I learned that I could trust him, and that he is good, I started to let go of the lie that I was ultimately in charge. I began to comprehend the example of Jesus as servant/leader. The story of the faith of the Centurion helped me immensely. Maybe this all comes off as churchy, but for me, it is reality. It was the "natural man" governing my family, a man who knew very little about spiritual things, and who, as I said, was blindly leading the household toward destruction. Plus, Marriage Bootcamp cost $2,000, and I'm skeptical (especially now) that it would've helped. The church charged us 50 bucks for the Re-engage study guide, and they probably would've just given it to us  |
|
Quoted: I'm confused too, but reading other posts makes me believe that they worked it out, and perhaps I can't read very well. Quoted: Quoted: Wait, was that a happy ending? am I lost? I'm confused too, but reading other posts makes me believe that they worked it out, and perhaps I can't read very well.
|
|
We thank the Lord for His mercy and His grace towards you and your family. The biggest failure any human being can face is having gained the whole world and lost his soul...imagine also being the leader responsible for your family losing theirs as well... If a father and a husband leads his own family to Christ and and the Lord's salvation then that man will spend eternity with His God and His earthly family...I cannot think of a greater success any man can have in this life than that. and FPNI |
|
OP, God has been kind to both of us. I say that not because I have had an easy life, because I have had a horribly difficult life at times. When I was 12 I was sexually assaulted by a neighbor. It was not a good thing. My father died when I was 15 and my mother died when I was 19. I chose poorly (well, we both did) when it came to marriage and spent 30 years in a difficult to say the least and a self-destructive relationship. My daughter was molested as a 12 year old. My son killed himself at 17. I held his lifeless body in my arms. My wife abandoned me and our surviving son while he was still in HS. My physical and mental health have been horrible at times to the point of suicidal ideation. I failed in several careers and was fired 3 or 4 times. I hit the point where I just wanted to get old enough to die. I was covered with bleeding plaques from my scalp to under my toe nails. I bled every time I went to the toilet. My brother pushed me one last time to find some good doctors and I did. I stopped hating myself inside and out, took dance lessons, and began to enjoy life. I began to forgive those I felt had wronged me. I even forgave myself. And then God brought Mrs Rabinowitz and me together. The past 9 1/2 years have been the best of my adult life. We are very, very happy. Our life together is very good. We aren’t born entitled to a good life. I certainly wasn’t. After all my poor choices, weaknesses, and failings, God gave me a life I did not deserve and it has been good. Life is hard. It can be soul-crushing. But I knew that God is sovereign over creation and I am a part of that. For His reasons I am doing well. I had given up on everything.....everything except a very bruised belief that God is good and that I served a purpose for Him. God is kind even to the worst sinners. |