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NM, USA
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Posted: 4/25/2024 5:05:02 PM EDT
[#1]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By NvrBrdWes: I am raising my children to welcome me into their home one day when I'm old, so I dont intend on booting them out as long as they aren't freeloading. Tale of two people I know. One is a co-worker living with his parents and his growing family that just put an offer in on a nearby house, because he wants to. Sounds like his dad loves having a lot of the family under one roof, but my coworker wants to have his own place, and a bit of separation, but was super glad to have a place after getting out of the army, and not having to buy/rent immediately. Another guy I know is back living with his mother in his 40's, has no real income, and no foreseeable ability to move back to his own place. Everyone is chafing there. Really depends on the details. |
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Posted: 4/25/2024 5:10:26 PM EDT
[#2]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By FistPeso: Unfortunately some kids need to be shown the door at 18. If it's a behavioral problem it can usually be attributed to mirroring the parents. |
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Posted: 4/25/2024 5:11:49 PM EDT
[#3]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Notcalifornialegal: Stay at home as long as they want. Save the rent. Find a good spouse. Use the money they saved for a house. Also stay close in case they need help with kids. That used to be the standard until we kicked kids out at 18 and left them to fend for themselves so we could "live out retirement" Yep. And some of that works both ways, kids can help with stuff as you get older also. I was just a few miles away from my folks when they got older whereas bro and sis were several hours away. Took them to practically every single med appt, etc. Frustrating at times then, but glad I got the time with them. And set a good example for next gen. |
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KY, USA
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Posted: 4/25/2024 5:24:15 PM EDT
[#4]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Burnsy: It's not really as easy as that. States are not new at this sort of thing and they have reach beyond such measures. Which to be fair...is fair. Things cost money and it has to come from somewhere. At any rate, was just sharing an example of how a child might end up caring for a property they will never own. I have thought about it. Maybe I should sell my place and move in with her. She might need it anyway, save me some money etc etc and win/win right? One has to consider all outcomes. Such as that in which I couldn't supply the needed care any longer...I might find myself in a very bad situation if I am counting on receiving that value. So it's more complicated that first meets the eye. I operate like I'm homeless when it comes to planning for the future. I can't get my mom to consider selling and downsizing now so she has the means to stay home longer. So when the time comes that I can't take care of her I'll sell the farm and reverse mortgage the house. That will buy a little time for me to hit the road and make money. When it's over if I can walk away and not have massive debt I'll consider myself blessed. One thing I'm pretty sure of once she's dead I don't intend of ever setting eyes on kentucky again. |
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Posted: 4/25/2024 5:39:09 PM EDT
[#5]
Whatever works.
Personally I couldn't wait to get out on my own. My old man always told us we were "out when we were 18", half jokingly, but I worked and saved that first year after HS and moved out of state, @18, kind of as a middle finger to my old man, which might have been his point. It was a struggle, had a shitty roommate who wouldn't pay up, so I lived without power until he moved out, and was basically broke, but I never had to call my parents for help, and never moved back, and I'm proud of that. That being said, having some support in that early adulthood is probably a good thing, and times are changing, furthermore I barely ever saw my father again, he died a few years later, so we never "patched things up", which isn't the greatest thing. I'm not going to idealize how my own child's transition into independent adulthood should be, and give him the boot when he reaches a certain age. There is something seriously lacking in our culture in regards to how we treat our own family. So many of us grow up in broken/dysfunctional homes and frankly it's difficult to comprehend just how it's supposed to be. So, whatever works, I don't think it's a bad idea OP. |
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Posted: 4/25/2024 5:57:10 PM EDT
[Last Edit: sitdwnandhngon]
[#6]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By PrincipsPistol: Whatever works. Personally I couldn't wait to get out on my own. My old man always told us we were "out when we were 18", half jokingly, but I worked and saved that first year after HS and moved out of state, @18, kind of as a middle finger to my old man, which might have been his point. It was a struggle, had a shitty roommate who wouldn't pay up, so I lived without power until he moved out, and was basically broke, but I never had to call my parents for help, and never moved back, and I'm proud of that. That being said, having some support in that early adulthood is probably a good thing, and times are changing, furthermore I barely ever saw my father again, he died a few years later, so we never "patched things up", which isn't the greatest thing. I'm not going to idealize how my own child's transition into independent adulthood should be, and give him the boot when he reaches a certain age. There is something seriously lacking in our culture in regards to how we treat our own family. So many of us grow up in broken/dysfunctional homes and frankly it's difficult to comprehend just how it's supposed to be. So, whatever works, I don't think it's a bad idea OP. There's a weird thing in some people too about helping an adult child, like a stigma around it among working class people. Very wealthy people though have no issues helping their children knowing that it will set them up early to build their own wealth. When I told my dad about our plan for the girls to rent our house he told me I would spoil them by doing that. No, I'll allow them to actually get into a position to move ahead earlier than they otherwise could. I know that hard work through your 20's kind of sets you up for success afterwards, but you can still push that hard work and help them not be basically in poverty at the same time. When I got older I realized just how many of my friend's parents helped them financially by either helping to for college, or by gifting them the down payment to their house, or whatever, just anything to make that first step not quite as high, and being raise the way I was I really thought of it as "cheating" for a long time. Now I realize it's what parents with the means do to help their kids succeed, and generally has a pretty good return provided you raised your kids right. I don't resent my parents for never helping me out financially. They are bad with money and never had much of it, and had no obligation at all, but if I can help my kids out early I certainly will, so they don't have to know what it's like to maybe not have electricity or meat next month because the insurance is due this week. |
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Posted: 4/25/2024 6:09:02 PM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By sitdwnandhngon: There's a weird thing in some people too about helping an adult child, like a stigma around it among working class people. Very wealthy people though have no issues helping their children knowing that it will set them up early to build their own wealth. When I told my dad about our plan for the girls to rent our house he told me I would spoil them by doing that. No, I'll allow them to actually get into a position to move ahead earlier than they otherwise could. I know that hard work through your 20's kind of sets you up for success afterwards, but you can still push that hard work and help them not be basically in poverty at the same time. When I got older I realized just how many of my friend's parents helped them financially by either helping to for college, or by gifting them the down payment to their house, or whatever, just anything to make that first step not quite as high, and being raise the way I was I really thought of it as "cheating" for a long time. Now I realize it's what parents with the means do to help their kids succeed, and generally has a pretty good return provided you raised your kids right. I don't resent my parents for never helping me out financially. They are bad with money and never had much of it, and had no obligation at all, but if I can help my kids out early I certainly will, so they don't have to know what it's like to maybe not have electricity or meat next month because the insurance is due this week. Pretty much nailed it, and thats basically how how I see things now, though I still can't quite break myself of viewing people who got a good jumpstart from their parents as soft handed, weak, privileged bitches, which if I'm honest is just childish jealousy. |
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Posted: 4/25/2024 6:21:36 PM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By PrincipsPistol: Pretty much nailed it, and thats basically how how I see things now, though I still can't quite break myself of viewing people who got a good jumpstart from their parents as soft handed, weak, privileged bitches, which if I'm honest is just childish jealousy. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By PrincipsPistol: Originally Posted By sitdwnandhngon: There's a weird thing in some people too about helping an adult child, like a stigma around it among working class people. Very wealthy people though have no issues helping their children knowing that it will set them up early to build their own wealth. When I told my dad about our plan for the girls to rent our house he told me I would spoil them by doing that. No, I'll allow them to actually get into a position to move ahead earlier than they otherwise could. I know that hard work through your 20's kind of sets you up for success afterwards, but you can still push that hard work and help them not be basically in poverty at the same time. When I got older I realized just how many of my friend's parents helped them financially by either helping to for college, or by gifting them the down payment to their house, or whatever, just anything to make that first step not quite as high, and being raise the way I was I really thought of it as "cheating" for a long time. Now I realize it's what parents with the means do to help their kids succeed, and generally has a pretty good return provided you raised your kids right. I don't resent my parents for never helping me out financially. They are bad with money and never had much of it, and had no obligation at all, but if I can help my kids out early I certainly will, so they don't have to know what it's like to maybe not have electricity or meat next month because the insurance is due this week. Pretty much nailed it, and thats basically how how I see things now, though I still can't quite break myself of viewing people who got a good jumpstart from their parents as soft handed, weak, privileged bitches, which if I'm honest is just childish jealousy. That's what it was for me. Jealousy. It's like a fast forward button to success and it can be bitter when it's not you. |
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Posted: 4/25/2024 7:47:27 PM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By NN300BLK: I more or less agree with you on this, OP. From an economic standpoint, it makes a lot of sense, and it can be a way for children to help their parents as they get older. Sure, the kids living in their parents' home will miss out on some of the independence that comes with getting their own place, but they also get the opportunity to spend more time with their parents, which they may appreciate later in life. That being said, I'm not sure the standard cookie-cutter neighborhood on 1/4 acre lots is built for multiple generations.  (Especially if grandkids come into the picture.) Our whole society seems to have been geared toward single generational households for a while now. |
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Posted: 4/25/2024 7:56:49 PM EDT
[#10]
To be clear if my kids want to leave I'm not gonna try to stop them. I had a plan and left home at 17 but I'll encourage them to leave only when they have a good plan or if they are taking advantage of me.
If they want to stay until they have some shit to work with in life I'd be glad to have them. I'll do what I can to make their path easier or better. |
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Posted: 4/25/2024 7:58:09 PM EDT
[#11]
Multigenerational housing is a luxury only available to stable and lasting family units.
Government and society seems intent on destroying that. |
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Posted: 4/25/2024 8:02:26 PM EDT
[#12]
I bought 120 acres that has sites for 3 homes on one ridge if we want too.
I'm sure some in the .Gov will one day call it a "Compound". |
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Posted: 4/25/2024 8:03:19 PM EDT
[Last Edit: FourLoko]
[#13]
My parents would have me back in an instant. It was never my intent to rely on them. I did the jobs, did the college then came 2008. More random jobs and then 2020. Still not an excuse.
I think I'm at the point where I could take care of them (with their insane boomer income) for the foreseeable future and not be a burden. I appreciate the newer parents considering this long term. ::edit:: In regards to what @OKnativeson said, they have offered me land to build on with support. I would love to live around them again, I just can't decide if it's better or worse that we've come to this. |
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Posted: 4/25/2024 8:05:36 PM EDT
[#14]
Make them pay you rent. When they leave you give that rent to them for down payment, they don't need to know that's the plan. But you are teaching them a valuable life lesson, and even at fifty percent of market value it's a good deal.
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MO, USA
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Posted: 4/25/2024 8:08:58 PM EDT
[#15]
I figure this will be more and more common as young people/couples are effectively priced out of the market until they’re in their late 20s.
So long as my boy carries his weight, and is actively pursuing a future then he’s welcome here |
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CO, USA
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Posted: 4/25/2024 8:19:48 PM EDT
[#16]
Bootstraps.
Beat the streets and talk to the manager. Get min wage job, buy a house. I was able to do it in 1970 so there's no reason you can't. /boomer |
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Posted: 4/25/2024 8:33:42 PM EDT
[#17]
My wife is having to help care for her Dementia riddled mother currently from 8 hours away, I wish we had planned ahead better and built her a home on our property to make things easier. It would make a lot of sense at this stage to have us all together.
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USA
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Posted: 4/25/2024 9:01:18 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Explorer225: Not a parent but I can speak from the child's perspective. I spent my twenties and thirties working on the road and coming home to my parents house when i had time off. When my dad got sick a few years ago I came off the road to help mom. After he passed I sold my business and worked part time while living with my mother. I have my own entrance coming and going as I please. I never paid rent instead I took over the upkeep of the house and farm. Roofs, paint, appliances what ever needs fixing I do it or pay someone. This has allowed me to save money but like everything there's a downside. Mom can still function by herself but she has become accustomed to leaning on me. I've recently realized I can see a future where I can't take care of her (memory starting to slip). So I really need to go back to work full time but she's fighting me on this. To summarize I'm pushing fifty taking care of a home and property I'll never own. I'm OK with that but I need to roll up some money now to insure my future later. I don't worry about ever paying my mortgage to zero, although I could do it tomorrow. You aren't truly the full "owner" even after paying the mortgage-----try skipping your property taxes once and see what the government does. Instead, I have focused on a variety of investments, including those that create passive income streams....forever, regardless of what I do. That's a good feeling. |
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NM, USA
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Posted: 4/25/2024 11:18:38 PM EDT
[#19]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Blind_Squirrel: I figure this will be more and more common as young people/couples are effectively priced out of the market until they’re in their late 20s. So long as my boy carries his weight, and is actively pursuing a future then he’s welcome here My parents were never the type to throw me out at 18, but i suspect they were a bit taken aback by how much I separated myself from them. Fortunately they have my sister, and I'm trying to be a good influence with my nephew on my wife's side. I'm happy to help out a friend or neighbor, don't see why not a family member. |
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Posted: 4/25/2024 11:26:12 PM EDT
[#20]
Natives tend to have multi generational homes.
Quite a few around here have up to five generations in a single home. Can be a bit tight. Everybody contributes to the house in some way. Building new homes in Bush Alaska is really expensive and banks do NOT like giving loans. |
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Posted: 4/25/2024 11:32:57 PM EDT
[#21]
My future kids will be welcome to stay so long as they do something with their life. Go to school, learn a trade, idgaf. Just do something.
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Posted: 4/25/2024 11:35:36 PM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By kallnojoy: We are having similar conversations as well. Same. No idea how the kid would pull that off. Wife suggested we just buy her a starter home. Ha. No. |
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Posted: 4/25/2024 11:35:50 PM EDT
[#23]
My son and his family are currently living with me. His house across the road will be completed in two weeks. I sold him the land. I like to have them close, but outside of pistol range.
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NM, USA
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Posted: 4/25/2024 11:52:52 PM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Southernman077: My son and his family are currently living with me. His house across the road will be completed in two weeks. I sold him the land. I like to have them close, but outside of pistol range. It's good to have boundaries defined. In one form or another! 
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VA, USA
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Posted: 4/26/2024 12:11:04 AM EDT
[#25]
As you said, multi-generational housing used to be the norm here. It still is in many cultures.
Personally, once you're an adult, I can't see constantly deferring to the elders in the household. It's gotta breed resentment once you start raising a family of your own and there are 3 generations (or more) under the same roof. But people do it. |
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Posted: 4/26/2024 12:13:57 AM EDT
[Last Edit: MarkNH]
[#26]
I left home at 18 to go to college and was self sufficient, I went home for a few weekends but other than that I was a functional adult.
I will be 62 when my youngest starts college, that seems like a good age to let my kids be more responsible so I can start enjoying my retirement. |
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Posted: 4/26/2024 12:32:46 AM EDT
[#27]
I doubt either of them would want to live in rural Wyoming full time.
My son's been on his own for years now and my daughter wants to go to law school. I'll help her with the rent until she's done with it. |
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Posted: 4/26/2024 5:07:30 AM EDT
[Last Edit: sitdwnandhngon]
[#28]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By glock27bill: As you said, multi-generational housing used to be the norm here. It still is in many cultures. Personally, once you're an adult, I can't see constantly deferring to the elders in the household. It's gotta breed resentment once you start raising a family of your own and there are 3 generations (or more) under the same roof. But people do it. Part of making it work is the older generation knowing when to kind of pass the torch. You see it in failed businesses and farms a lot, the old man wants the kids to stick around and run it, but refuses to give up any control even long after he's past his prime. The kids decide that's a bad plan, and move on, and the business falls apart and gets sold for pennies on the dollar. |
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USA
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Posted: 4/26/2024 6:17:00 AM EDT
[Last Edit: miseses]
[#29]
I left home at 18 and worked 80 hours a week, minimum wage, and scraped by until I got a full ride scholarship to study engineering. My parents taught me next to nothing on how to maintain vehicles or property or cook, so I wasted lots of money until I became more proficient.
People think kids save more money by staying at home, but that is a lie. I never would have worked 80 hours a week if I had free rent. Very very few 18 year olds would. I think overall the boot at 18 is probably better for them than not. Having no safety net and no backup plan puts a fire under your ass, you know if you fail you're going straight into the gutter and you may not get back out. |
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MS, USA
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Posted: 4/26/2024 7:30:54 AM EDT
[#30]
There is plenty of benefit to it if done right. It really only works if everyone is interested in the betterment of the family as a whole.
We can pretend some outside source destroyed our family based culture. It wasn’t, this and the past few generations hold the blame. I wonder how many of the “out of the house at 18” types. Will use phrases like these before they die? My kids moved half way across the country after I booted them, now I never see them. My kids moved half way across the country after I booted them, now I don’t get to see my grandkids. Why do I need to go into a home, can’t my kids I kicked out take care of me? |
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Posted: 4/26/2024 7:39:57 AM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By glock27bill: As you said, multi-generational housing used to be the norm here. It still is in many cultures. Personally, once you're an adult, I can't see constantly deferring to the elders in the household. It's gotta breed resentment once you start raising a family of your own and there are 3 generations (or more) under the same roof. But people do it. In a reality where insurance isn't a thing, having wisdom on tap is valuable. |
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Posted: 4/26/2024 7:55:10 AM EDT
[#32]
its hard to live with parents/relatives once you are an adult. the schedules, personalities etc.
i moved back in with my dad after my divorce. i made it 3 months. love him to death but older people have no schedule and pay no attention to time. i got shit to do and kids to raise. my kids are always welcome but they cant be there permanently. |
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Posted: 4/26/2024 8:01:07 AM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Burnsy: For clarity, I am 45 years old now. I am speaking about me from a long time ago but still remember that "drive" and fantastic feeling of fresh independence. It wasn't just the I get to do whatever I want part, but also the I am responsible if this shit all falls apart, part. It sounds dumb to say out loud but I deeply wanted both. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Burnsy: Originally Posted By Notcalifornialegal: And that's good dude. Seriously if you're ready to go kick the world's ass but have a fallback you're in great shape. For clarity, I am 45 years old now. I am speaking about me from a long time ago but still remember that "drive" and fantastic feeling of fresh independence. It wasn't just the I get to do whatever I want part, but also the I am responsible if this shit all falls apart, part. It sounds dumb to say out loud but I deeply wanted both. 20-ish years I'm back here to help take care of them (Alzheimer's) and we're actually in process building a MIL suite for my wife's aging mom. I've got a little build thread about it actually. I'm hopeful that my kid might live over there someday, at least for a while. And in the end my wife and I could live there while my kid (and hopefully her family) lives in the big house. I know that's a slim chance, but who knows. I want kiddo to make it on her own too, but also I've learned the past couple years how powerful it is to live with/right beside family. |
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NV, USA
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Posted: 4/26/2024 8:02:17 AM EDT
[#34]
Originally Posted By victorgonzales: With hard times here with housing what is the plan for those of you with kids? I have a 17 and 10 year old. I don't intend to force them out into 2k a month apartments . They are welcome to stay as long as they want in my house as long as they are saving and investing in their future and helping out around the house and with bills when I need them to. I am planning on either adding onto the house so I can have my music studio mancave back if they stay or building a small split 2 bedroom apartment in the backyard. Probably whichever is cheaper to do with plumbing , electric and HVAC needs. Things used to be this way. We didn't used to push our kids out until they were established enough to thrive rather than struggle. Easy money and economic boom changed that any many kids want to move out but it's looking like we are heading into a cycle where that's a pretty bad choice for their future. Unlike some I would be happy to have my kids around as long as they want as long as they aren't taking advantage of me and making good choices . Thoughts? Force my kids out to a $2,000 rental situation. Literally stop protecting them from the world. Stop handing them a trophy house just for graduating high school. For as much hate as Millenials get for ruining society Generation X sure is doing their best to coddle their children well into adulthood. |
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KY, USA
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Posted: 4/26/2024 8:21:36 AM EDT
[#35]
Had a guy work for me that took in his grandson at age 15 because the kid had nowhere to go.
Everything was going good till the kid turned 18. He missed a few Sundays of church and gramps kicked him out. The kid is in his late 20s now with 3 kids by 3 different women and a criminal record. Grandpa is heartbroken because he couldn't straighten the kid out. I never could make him understand that he lost any influence he had on the kid when he kicked him to the curb. I'm firmly in the keep family close category. Very few young people don't stumble at some point. I don't understand parents that don't want to be there to help kids up when they do. |
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Posted: 4/26/2024 8:29:30 AM EDT
[#36]
Two of our adult daughters are back with us, through no fault of their own. Rural area with fiber, and there hasn't been anything reasonable for sale or rent around here since C19. We are considering building some basic cabins and turning the acreage into a family compound.
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Posted: 4/26/2024 8:35:32 AM EDT
[#37]
I have several friends and family members who have done this. In fact, we just bought 55 acres, and are building house, that will essentially be 2 houses in one, for myself and my folks. It only makes sense, these days.
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Posted: 4/26/2024 8:39:18 AM EDT
[#38]
Multi generational was how you kept the family farm alive. When everyone moved to the burbs in their 3 bed 2 bath on a quarter acre lot house that became a setup for a nightmare.
You’re gonna need land for the ability to spread out to make it work. |
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Posted: 4/26/2024 8:40:20 AM EDT
[#39]
People are different. The gal across the street had an emotional breakdown and had to be hospitalized when her youngest moved out and left for college. The week our youngest moved out for good we fukt in the kitchen, dining room and on the living room coffee table.
Bye. "You pay for your bringing up when you bring up your own". |
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Posted: 4/26/2024 8:41:19 AM EDT
[#40]
No school at 18, get a job and move out. Stay in school or trade school, live at home. They are not babies. My dad told me to move out at 18, He was correct. |
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MS, USA
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Posted: 4/26/2024 8:42:32 AM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By durtychemist: Force my kids out to a $2,000 rental situation. Literally stop protecting them from the world. Stop handing them a trophy house just for graduating high school. For as much hate as Millenials get for ruining society Generation X sure is doing their best to coddle their children well into adulthood. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By durtychemist: Originally Posted By victorgonzales: With hard times here with housing what is the plan for those of you with kids? I have a 17 and 10 year old. I don't intend to force them out into 2k a month apartments . They are welcome to stay as long as they want in my house as long as they are saving and investing in their future and helping out around the house and with bills when I need them to. I am planning on either adding onto the house so I can have my music studio mancave back if they stay or building a small split 2 bedroom apartment in the backyard. Probably whichever is cheaper to do with plumbing , electric and HVAC needs. Things used to be this way. We didn't used to push our kids out until they were established enough to thrive rather than struggle. Easy money and economic boom changed that any many kids want to move out but it's looking like we are heading into a cycle where that's a pretty bad choice for their future. Unlike some I would be happy to have my kids around as long as they want as long as they aren't taking advantage of me and making good choices . Thoughts? Force my kids out to a $2,000 rental situation. Literally stop protecting them from the world. Stop handing them a trophy house just for graduating high school. For as much hate as Millenials get for ruining society Generation X sure is doing their best to coddle their children well into adulthood. For some kids it’s coddling and enabling, it’s usually pretty obvious to see when that’s the case. If they’ve been raised to be well adjusted, determined, smart, and responsible young adults. It is simply an investment to your kid’s future, trying to give them a better chance at a more successful young adulthood. You presumably have spent your adult life investing in your own future and outcome. Why not invest in your kid’s future and outcome? There is no one size fits all approach. |
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Posted: 4/26/2024 8:43:05 AM EDT
[#42]
Originally Posted By victorgonzales: With hard times here with housing what is the plan for those of you with kids? I have a 17 and 10 year old. I don't intend to force them out into 2k a month apartments . They are welcome to stay as long as they want in my house as long as they are saving and investing in their future and helping out around the house and with bills when I need them to. I am planning on either adding onto the house so I can have my music studio mancave back if they stay or building a small split 2 bedroom apartment in the backyard. Probably whichever is cheaper to do with plumbing , electric and HVAC needs. Things used to be this way. We didn't used to push our kids out until they were established enough to thrive rather than struggle. Easy money and economic boom changed that any many kids want to move out but it's looking like we are heading into a cycle where that's a pretty bad choice for their future. Unlike some I would be happy to have my kids around as long as they want as long as they aren't taking advantage of me and making good choices . Thoughts? I have the exact same deal with my kids, 21 and 23, for the exact same thought processes. |
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Posted: 4/26/2024 8:51:17 AM EDT
[#43]
It can be mutually beneficial. I spent a couple of weeks in a hospital across the state, and having one of the kids back at home to take care of animals and whatnot allowed my wife to be there with me. 24x7x365 "security presence" is kind of nice too.
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Posted: 4/26/2024 8:55:00 AM EDT
[Last Edit: grey50beast]
[#44]
Wife and I live with my mom. She's in a 6 bedroom house, and we have a 1 year old. My wife helps out around the house and I work.
We're looking to sell the house and find property so I can have a shop. My 3k a month in shop rent im paying now would help snag us a nice place on top of the equity of mom's paid off house. It works for us. Mom already said she doesn't want us going anywhere, she'd be lonely. |
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Posted: 4/26/2024 8:56:50 AM EDT
[Last Edit: TXBBQGuy]
[#45]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By miseses: I left home at 18 and worked 80 hours a week, minimum wage, and scraped by until I got a full ride scholarship to study engineering. My parents taught me next to nothing on how to maintain vehicles or property or cook, so I wasted lots of money until I became more proficient. People think kids save more money by staying at home, but that is a lie. I never would have worked 80 hours a week if I had free rent. Very very few 18 year olds would. I think overall the boot at 18 is probably better for them than not. Having no safety net and no backup plan puts a fire under your ass, you know if you fail you're going straight into the gutter and you may not get back out. You don't give them free rent. They help with bills, help around the house, work, etc. It's cheaper than them trying to live on their own straight out of high school in this market, but still gives them adult responsibilities. And the caveat has to be that they are making headway in life, either with education, a trade, etc We have a family member that married a women from south america, panama I believe, and they have 4 generations living in their house now, grandmother down to their kids. It worked well for them both working full time, having help with childcare with one special needs child and other getting to school and such. They have a larger house and all seem happy with it. We have a neighbor that is similar, parents, adult kids, and their kids living together, adult kids work, grandparents help with getting kids around to school and such. |
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Posted: 4/26/2024 8:58:09 AM EDT
[#46]
As long as my kids are productive, they are welcome to live under my roof.
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Posted: 4/26/2024 8:59:56 AM EDT
[#47]
Whites got away from it. That’s part of the reason we have some people that hate foreigners. They see a family arrive in America and 4 years later they have Benz’s in the driveway. Yea. When everyone looks after each other, you can amass great wealth quickly.
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Posted: 4/26/2024 9:06:02 AM EDT
[#48]
REJECT THREE’S COMPANY
RETURN TO WALTONS |
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Posted: 4/26/2024 9:08:01 AM EDT
[Last Edit: cavedog]
[#49]
My daughter and grandson lived with me for several years after her husband turned out to be an asshole. She stacked enough cash to buy a house recently.
Part of me hated to see her go, but a quiet house is nice at times. She's about thirty minutes away, so I see her and the little guy a couple times a week, picking him up from school and being a goof ball with him at the park. The plan is to not sell any of the real estate, and to keep investing to build generational wealth. I had nothing when I started out just out of high school, but by sheer luck, I was able to buy and pay off a modest house and earn two pensions. I want to pass on as much as I can to her and her son. It won't be anything close to what most of ARFCOM has, but for me, a social autistic geek with three ex-wives, it's more than I thought I've have to pass on. |
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Posted: 4/26/2024 9:08:40 AM EDT
[#50]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By PrincipsPistol: So many of us grow up in broken/dysfunctional homes and frankly it's difficult to comprehend just how it's supposed to be. Hard truth right there. |
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