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Posted: 9/17/2022 9:14:49 AM EDT
Holy moly. That is a special kind of pain. Went to the ER yesterday and they lanced a thrombosed one. Not a lot of help. Minor reduction in pain level.
Colorectal surgeon appointment Monday. On my side, in bed until then. Haven't eaten anything in two days. Won't even describe the horror that is my rear, right now. I didn't even ask what could go wrong next. Happened all by itself.  Running tally: Shingles in the eye for 2 months Truck died Said goodbye to the best dog ever Lost my dad My butt hurts like there is a red hot poker in it and I'm sure surgery recovery will be just as bad or worse. |
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Posted: 9/17/2022 9:16:57 AM EDT
[#1]
Aging sucks OP, prayers sent. You changed your avatar.
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Posted: 9/17/2022 9:17:14 AM EDT
[#2]
When life gives you a bunch of grapes, make wine?
Been there (with the hemorrhoids, I mean). |
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Posted: 9/17/2022 9:19:22 AM EDT
[#3]
Damn man, rough year, best wishes for rapid healing.
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Posted: 9/17/2022 9:20:03 AM EDT
[#4]
Sorry to hear about your rough patch for lack of a better vocabulary.
Look into a bidet when you get a chance, it's life changing. 
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Posted: 9/17/2022 9:21:32 AM EDT
[#5]
Fissures are a motherfucker.
See the CRS for ideas and help |
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Posted: 9/17/2022 9:23:10 AM EDT
[#6]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Aging sucks OP, prayers sent. You changed your avatar. Yeah. Figured the other one was bringing me bad luck. Turns out, that wasn't it.
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Posted: 9/17/2022 9:25:09 AM EDT
[#7]
As a kid, I always feared kidney stones, gout, and hemorrhoids.
I now have 2 of the 3. Just waiting on the kidney stones to show up.
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Posted: 9/17/2022 9:26:53 AM EDT
[#8]
Fuck. Sorry to hear it man.
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Posted: 9/17/2022 9:29:42 AM EDT
[#9]
incapacitating hemorrhoids kept Napoleon in bed on Sunday, 18 June 1815
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Posted: 9/17/2022 9:30:21 AM EDT
[#10]
Damn OP. I hope this works out as painlessly as possible. I know a couple of people that had bad roids fixed with surgery. They were working @ 100% within a few weeks. Good luck. Stockpile meds.
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Posted: 9/17/2022 9:31:04 AM EDT
[#11]
Quoted: Holy moly. That is a special kind of pain. Went to the ER yesterday and they lanced a thrombosed one. Not a lot of help. Minor reduction in pain level. Colorectal surgeon appointment Monday. On my side, in bed until then. Haven't eaten anything in two days. Won't even describe the horror that is my rear, right now. I didn't even ask what could go wrong next. Happened all by itself. Running tally: Shingles in the eye for 2 months Truck died Said goodbye to the best dog ever Lost my dad My butt hurts like there is a red hot poker in it and I'm sure surgery recovery will be just as bad or worse. Pics or it didn't happen!! |
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Posted: 9/17/2022 9:31:35 AM EDT
[#12]
That’s rough I mean I’m thinking If I had all that what would be the dominoe effect. And I’m not taking anything for granted
But you got a good kid who’s set straight who talks to his dad. I have seen the broken hearts and pain of kids who go sideways. I’d rather have a flaming butt. |
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Posted: 9/17/2022 9:40:15 AM EDT
[#13]
Get yourself a bidet. Thank me later.
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Posted: 9/17/2022 9:42:32 AM EDT
[#14]
damn op I feel your pain, I had them bad like that back in the day
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Posted: 9/17/2022 9:43:30 AM EDT
[#15]
Incapacitating Hemorrhoids is a great name for a punk rock band.
Sorry about your dad |
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Posted: 9/17/2022 9:44:35 AM EDT
[#16]
Yikes - praying for you dude!
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Posted: 9/17/2022 9:45:57 AM EDT
[#17]
Op, what’s your address? I got a 3.5” turkey shell I can send you.
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Posted: 9/17/2022 9:46:26 AM EDT
[#18]
Not trying to be funny here but did you get the China virus vaccine?
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Posted: 9/17/2022 9:48:08 AM EDT
[#19]
Quoted: Holy moly. That is a special kind of pain. Went to the ER yesterday and they lanced a thrombosed one. Not a lot of help. Minor reduction in pain level. Colorectal surgeon appointment Monday. On my side, in bed until then. Haven't eaten anything in two days. Won't even describe the horror that is my rear, right now. I didn't even ask what could go wrong next. Happened all by itself. Running tally: Shingles in the eye for 2 months Truck died Said goodbye to the best dog ever Lost my dad My butt hurts like there is a red hot poker in it and I'm sure surgery recovery will be just as bad or worse. For me stress makes hemorrhoids worse. I cant do anything about stress levels. What does help me is eating food only made at home no takeout. Mostly meat and some veggies and almost no grain or fruits. Less you shit and cleaner you eat more it helps. At leas that formula works for me. |
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Posted: 9/17/2022 9:48:22 AM EDT
[#20]
Just think, there’s still 3 months left in the year, too.
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Posted: 9/17/2022 9:48:55 AM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Get yourself a bidet. Thank me later. Listen to this man. Also meanwhile switch to wet wipes. |
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Posted: 9/17/2022 9:49:59 AM EDT
[#22]
Just had hemorrhoid surgery six weeks ago. Before surgery, the pain was manageable but they were bleeding to the point I’ve been anemic for the last two years. Had to do something.
After he was finished, the surgeon told my wife mine was a particularly bad case and that I could expect a horrible two weeks. Boy he wasn’t kidding. Worst pain in my life with nothing else even holding a candle to it. Broken bones, multiple sets of stitches over the years, getting kicked in the balls; merely a cake walk compared to the way my ass felt after surgery. No amount of prescription pain killers mixed with ibuprofen could begin to cut the pain. There was no position I could contort into to get any relief, despite your body constantly twisting and turning trying to find some. After about two days of this, your muscles become sore from the non stop turning and that adds to the pain. The only noticeable relief I could get was taking a hot epsons salt bath. When I say hot I mean water temp that turns your legs red, but the pain reduction in your ass makes it not even a consideration. I’d spend hours soaking. I’m still not back to 100% but haven’t had to take any pain medication after about the third week. The best part is no more bleeding like I was before. |
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Posted: 9/17/2022 9:50:11 AM EDT
[#23]
Yup, first time I got em I thought I was dying. I was walking like a 100 year old man. Everyone at work was like “what’s wrong with you”. I was just like “that’s none of your business” ??
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Posted: 9/17/2022 9:52:14 AM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Pics or it didn't happen!! Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Holy moly. That is a special kind of pain. Went to the ER yesterday and they lanced a thrombosed one. Not a lot of help. Minor reduction in pain level. Colorectal surgeon appointment Monday. On my side, in bed until then. Haven't eaten anything in two days. Won't even describe the horror that is my rear, right now. I didn't even ask what could go wrong next. Happened all by itself. Running tally: Shingles in the eye for 2 months Truck died Said goodbye to the best dog ever Lost my dad My butt hurts like there is a red hot poker in it and I'm sure surgery recovery will be just as bad or worse. Pics or it didn't happen!! You really don't want that. Wife asked to see, after I couldn't hardly speak. She says, we are going to the ER, now. Just not something I do. But I did. Couldn't take it any more. Marathon Man torture doc was working on the wrong end if he wanted info. |
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Posted: 9/17/2022 9:53:17 AM EDT
[#25]
Get a bidet.
Drink lots of water. But not from the bidet. |
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Posted: 9/17/2022 9:53:23 AM EDT
[#26]
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Posted: 9/17/2022 9:55:44 AM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Not trying to be funny here but did you get the China virus vaccine? Nope. Not sure what happened. Dealt with Minor ones for years, kept in check with plenty of fiber, etc. Then, all of a sudden, flaming napalm hanging out my butt. |
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Posted: 9/17/2022 9:57:43 AM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Not trying to be funny here but did you get the China virus vaccine? It killed my truck and cat too. 
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Posted: 9/17/2022 9:57:53 AM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Nope. Not sure what happened. Dealt with Minor ones for years, kept in check with plenty of fiber, etc. Then, all of a sudden, flaming napalm hanging out my butt. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Not trying to be funny here but did you get the China virus vaccine? Nope. Not sure what happened. Dealt with Minor ones for years, kept in check with plenty of fiber, etc. Then, all of a sudden, flaming napalm hanging out my butt. If I had to guess stress might have been a contributing factorS hope you heal up soon. |
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Posted: 9/17/2022 9:58:13 AM EDT
[#30]
Try witch hazel for relief?
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Posted: 9/17/2022 9:59:43 AM EDT
[#31]
Sorry for the bad year OP.... but your summary does have the makings for a decent country song at least
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Posted: 9/17/2022 10:00:14 AM EDT
[#32]
Was gunna say, "Ain't that the shits." but thought better of it because it's kinda the opposite at issue right now.
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Posted: 9/17/2022 10:01:40 AM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Just had hemorrhoid surgery six weeks ago. Before surgery, the pain was manageable but they were bleeding to the point I’ve been anemic for the last two years. Had to do something. After he was finished, the surgeon told my wife mine was a particularly bad case and that I could expect a horrible two weeks. Boy he wasn’t kidding. Worst pain in my life with nothing else even holding a candle to it. Broken bones, multiple sets of stitches over the years, getting kicked in the balls; merely a cake walk compared to the way my ass felt after surgery. No amount of prescription pain killers mixed with ibuprofen could begin to cut the pain. There was no position I could contort into to get any relief, despite your body constantly twisting and turning trying to find some. After about two days of this, your muscles become sore from the non stop turning and that adds to the pain. The only noticeable relief I could get was taking a hot epsons salt bath. When I say hot I mean water temp that turns your legs red, but the pain reduction in your ass makes it not even a consideration. I’d spend hours soaking. I’m still not back to 100% but haven’t had to take any pain medication after about the third week. The best part is no more bleeding like I was before. At least I have something to look forward to. Thanks.
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Posted: 9/17/2022 10:04:21 AM EDT
[#34]
No monkeypox jokes yet?
J/k OP, I hope things get better for you. |
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Posted: 9/17/2022 10:07:14 AM EDT
[#35]
Metamucil cured my hind end problems.
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Posted: 9/17/2022 10:07:45 AM EDT
[#36]
Add on bidet toilet seats are worth every penny. Especially with hemorrhoids.
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Posted: 9/17/2022 10:07:53 AM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Try witch hazel for relief? Have that and Tucks, etc. Doc sent some lidocaine gel, but I reserve that for when I can't stand it anymore. Won't take any opiates,for obvious reasons. |
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Posted: 9/17/2022 10:09:46 AM EDT
[#38]
Sometimes you don’t have to share your personal details on the internet. Sometimes.
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Posted: 9/17/2022 10:10:32 AM EDT
[#39]
Doc used to give me this foam that was lidocaine I think, that stuff actually worked because you could actually get it all up in there
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Posted: 9/17/2022 10:10:58 AM EDT
[#40]
I’m sorry to hear that OP.
In every sense of the phrase. |
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Posted: 9/17/2022 10:11:32 AM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Just had hemorrhoid surgery six weeks ago. Before surgery, the pain was manageable but they were bleeding to the point I've been anemic for the last two years. Had to do something. After he was finished, the surgeon told my wife mine was a particularly bad case and that I could expect a horrible two weeks. Boy he wasn't kidding. Worst pain in my life with nothing else even holding a candle to it. Broken bones, multiple sets of stitches over the years, getting kicked in the balls; merely a cake walk compared to the way my ass felt after surgery. No amount of prescription pain killers mixed with ibuprofen could begin to cut the pain. There was no position I could contort into to get any relief, despite your body constantly twisting and turning trying to find some. After about two days of this, your muscles become sore from the non stop turning and that adds to the pain. The only noticeable relief I could get was taking a hot epsons salt bath. When I say hot I mean water temp that turns your legs red, but the pain reduction in your ass makes it not even a consideration. I'd spend hours soaking. I'm still not back to 100% but haven't had to take any pain medication after about the third week. The best part is no more bleeding like I was before. I had the surgery it was the worst pain and experience of my life and I have had a lot of painful things in my life. |
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Posted: 9/17/2022 10:13:19 AM EDT
[#42]
Your mental state can affect you having hemorrhoids. If you already have kind of high blood pressure and you also have extra stress then you are more prone to getting hemorrhoids and bad ones at that. You have to calm down and get your bp under control. Then the hemorrhoids will start to heal.
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Posted: 9/17/2022 10:14:25 AM EDT
[#43]
POOP THREAD
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Posted: 9/17/2022 10:17:58 AM EDT
[#44]
Man, I've been there sort of. Dr. put me on some drugs that made me shit rocks. I ended up having a fisure. I couldn't bear to sit or walk. Taking a dump was like shitting lava.
Went to GP who told me to apply cortisol cream, lanacane, and something else. It made it worse. Went to see a surgeon who gave me a script to take to a compounding pharmacy. I cannot remember what it was but it was mixed in a base of Vaseline, I think. It was like magic. Two weeks later it was almost like it never happened. |
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Posted: 9/17/2022 10:19:52 AM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Your mental state can affect you having hemorrhoids. If you already have kind of high blood pressure and you also have extra stress then you are more prone to getting hemorrhoids and bad ones at that. You have to calm down and get your bp under control. Then the hemorrhoids will start to heal. I got my roids from passin logs. 
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Posted: 9/17/2022 10:22:53 AM EDT
[#46]
Sorry bro, hang in there I’ve had some of the hardest years of my life as well. Mom gone best friend and several other people gone. At one point broke and to top it off herniated disks killing me.
It will get better, just hold fast. Im out this morning with no pain watching my horses graze drinking coffee. I’ll pray for you l. |
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Posted: 9/17/2022 10:25:12 AM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Have that and Tucks, etc. Doc sent some lidocaine gel, but I reserve that for when I can't stand it anymore. Won't take any opiates,for obvious reasons. This sounds like a situation where an exception could be made. Unless I'm missing the 'obvious' reason.
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Posted: 9/17/2022 10:26:22 AM EDT
[#48]
Get um chopped out OP… Seriously, the after pain is second to none, but in the end it is worth it.
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Posted: 9/17/2022 10:28:15 AM EDT
[#49]
I don’t have hemorrhoids
My wife says it’s because I’m the Perfect Asshole. |
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Posted: 9/17/2022 10:30:22 AM EDT
[#50]
Quote HistoryQuoted: The only noticeable relief I could get was taking a hot epsons salt bath. When I say hot I mean water temp that turns your legs red, but the pain reduction in your ass makes it not even a consideration. I’d spend hours soaking. /\ /\ /\ This is what you do AFTER surgery, sit in hot water as HOT as you can stand it. Your Dr will say warm water out of caution for you suing him/her for burning yourself, but HOT HOT HOT water is what will give you relief. Plan on 2 weeks off. I only took one, had my surgery on Friday, went back to work 9 days later, that was not enough time. Schedule 2 weeks off work. HOT water baths, hot as you can stand it. Take LOTS of fiber. I still today 15 years later take 15-20 capsules daily of Metamucil, spread out 3-4 times a day, 5 capsules per serving, super easy to take shits. Roids CAN and WILL come back if your not careful. Mine has never. Fiber is your friend. East plenty fiber post surgery as you still have to shit thru the chopped up area of your ass. |
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