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Posted: 9/17/2022 9:14:49 AM EDT
Holy moly. That is a special kind of pain. Went to the ER yesterday and they lanced a thrombosed one.  Not a lot of help. Minor reduction in pain level.

Colorectal surgeon appointment Monday.

On my side, in bed until then. Haven't eaten anything in two days. Won't even describe the horror that is my rear, right now.

I didn't even ask what could go wrong next. Happened all by itself.

Running tally:

Shingles in the eye for 2 months
Truck died
Said goodbye to the best dog ever
Lost my dad
My butt hurts like there is a red hot poker in it and I'm sure surgery recovery will be just as bad or worse.
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 9:16:57 AM EDT
[#1]
Aging sucks OP, prayers sent.  You changed your avatar.
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 9:17:14 AM EDT
[#2]
When life gives you a bunch of grapes, make wine?

Been there (with the hemorrhoids, I mean).
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 9:19:22 AM EDT
[#3]
Damn man, rough year, best wishes for rapid healing.
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 9:20:03 AM EDT
[#4]
Sorry to hear about your rough patch for lack of a better vocabulary.

Look into a bidet when you get a chance, it's life changing.
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 9:21:32 AM EDT
[#5]
Fissures are a motherfucker.

See the CRS for ideas and help
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 9:23:10 AM EDT
[#6]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Aging sucks OP, prayers sent.  You changed your avatar.
View Quote

Yeah. Figured the other one was bringing me bad luck.

Turns out, that wasn't it.
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 9:25:09 AM EDT
[#7]
As a kid, I always feared kidney stones, gout, and hemorrhoids.

I now have 2 of the 3. Just waiting on the kidney stones to show up.
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 9:26:53 AM EDT
[#8]
Fuck. Sorry to hear it man.
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 9:29:42 AM EDT
[#9]
incapacitating hemorrhoids kept Napoleon in bed on Sunday, 18 June 1815
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 9:30:21 AM EDT
[#10]
Damn OP. I hope this works out as painlessly as possible. I know a couple of people that had bad roids fixed with surgery. They were working @ 100% within a few weeks. Good luck. Stockpile meds.
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 9:31:04 AM EDT
[#11]
Quoted:
Holy moly. That is a special kind of pain. Went to the ER yesterday and they lanced a thrombosed one.  Not a lot of help. Minor reduction in pain level.

Colorectal surgeon appointment Monday.

On my side, in bed until then. Haven't eaten anything in two days. Won't even describe the horror that is my rear, right now.

I didn't even ask what could go wrong next. Happened all by itself.

Running tally:

Shingles in the eye for 2 months
Truck died
Said goodbye to the best dog ever
Lost my dad
My butt hurts like there is a red hot poker in it and I'm sure surgery recovery will be just as bad or worse.
View Quote


Pics or it didn't happen!!
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 9:31:35 AM EDT
[#12]
That’s rough I mean I’m thinking If I had all that what would be the dominoe effect. And I’m not taking anything for granted

But you got a good kid who’s set straight who talks to his dad. I have seen the broken hearts and pain of kids who go sideways. I’d rather have a flaming butt.
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 9:40:15 AM EDT
[#13]
Get yourself a bidet.  Thank me later.
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 9:42:32 AM EDT
[#14]
damn op I feel your pain, I had them bad like that back in the day
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 9:43:30 AM EDT
[#15]
Incapacitating Hemorrhoids is a great name for a punk rock band.

Sorry about your dad
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 9:44:35 AM EDT
[#16]
Yikes - praying for you dude!
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 9:45:57 AM EDT
[#17]
Op, what’s your address? I got a 3.5” turkey shell I can send you.
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 9:46:26 AM EDT
[#18]
Not trying to be funny here but did you get the China virus vaccine?
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 9:48:08 AM EDT
[#19]
Quoted:
Holy moly. That is a special kind of pain. Went to the ER yesterday and they lanced a thrombosed one.  Not a lot of help. Minor reduction in pain level.

Colorectal surgeon appointment Monday.

On my side, in bed until then. Haven't eaten anything in two days. Won't even describe the horror that is my rear, right now.

I didn't even ask what could go wrong next. Happened all by itself.

Running tally:

Shingles in the eye for 2 months
Truck died
Said goodbye to the best dog ever
Lost my dad
My butt hurts like there is a red hot poker in it and I'm sure surgery recovery will be just as bad or worse.
View Quote



For me stress makes hemorrhoids worse.
I cant do anything about stress levels.
What does help me is eating food only made at home no takeout. Mostly meat and some veggies and almost no grain or fruits. Less you shit and cleaner you eat more it helps. At leas that formula works for me.
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 9:48:22 AM EDT
[#20]
Just think, there’s still 3 months left in the year, too.
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 9:48:55 AM EDT
[#21]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Get yourself a bidet.  Thank me later.
View Quote


Listen to this man.
Also meanwhile switch to wet wipes.
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 9:49:59 AM EDT
[#22]
Just had hemorrhoid surgery six weeks ago.  Before surgery, the pain was manageable but they were bleeding to the point I’ve been anemic for the last two years.  Had to do something.

After he was finished, the surgeon told my wife mine was a particularly bad case and that I could expect a horrible two weeks.  Boy he wasn’t kidding.  Worst pain in my life with nothing else even holding a candle to it.  Broken bones, multiple sets of stitches over the years, getting kicked in the balls; merely a cake walk compared to the way my ass felt after surgery.

No amount of prescription pain killers mixed with ibuprofen could begin to cut the pain.  There was no position I could contort into to get any relief, despite your body constantly twisting and turning trying to find some.  After about two days of this, your muscles become sore from the non stop turning and that adds to the pain.

The only noticeable relief I could get was taking a hot epsons salt bath.  When I say hot I mean water temp that turns your legs red, but the pain reduction in your ass makes it not even a consideration.  I’d spend hours soaking.

I’m still not back to 100% but haven’t had to take any pain medication after about the third week.  The best part is no more bleeding like I was before.
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 9:50:11 AM EDT
[#23]
Yup, first time I got em I thought I was dying. I was walking like a 100 year old man. Everyone at work was like “what’s wrong with you”. I was just like “that’s none of your business” ??
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 9:52:14 AM EDT
[#24]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


Pics or it didn't happen!!
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Holy moly. That is a special kind of pain. Went to the ER yesterday and they lanced a thrombosed one.  Not a lot of help. Minor reduction in pain level.

Colorectal surgeon appointment Monday.

On my side, in bed until then. Haven't eaten anything in two days. Won't even describe the horror that is my rear, right now.

I didn't even ask what could go wrong next. Happened all by itself.

Running tally:

Shingles in the eye for 2 months
Truck died
Said goodbye to the best dog ever
Lost my dad
My butt hurts like there is a red hot poker in it and I'm sure surgery recovery will be just as bad or worse.


Pics or it didn't happen!!

You really don't want that.

Wife asked to see, after I couldn't hardly speak. She says, we are going to the ER, now.

Just not something I do. But I did. Couldn't take it any more.

Marathon Man torture doc was working on the wrong end if he wanted info.
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 9:53:17 AM EDT
[#25]
Get a bidet.

Drink lots of water.

But not from the bidet.
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 9:53:23 AM EDT
[#26]
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 9:55:44 AM EDT
[#27]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Not trying to be funny here but did you get the China virus vaccine?
View Quote

Nope.

Not sure what happened. Dealt with Minor ones for years, kept in check with plenty of fiber, etc.

Then, all of a sudden, flaming napalm hanging out my butt.
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 9:57:43 AM EDT
[#28]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Not trying to be funny here but did you get the China virus vaccine?
View Quote


It killed my truck and cat too.  
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 9:57:53 AM EDT
[#29]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

Nope.

Not sure what happened. Dealt with Minor ones for years, kept in check with plenty of fiber, etc.

Then, all of a sudden, flaming napalm hanging out my butt.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Not trying to be funny here but did you get the China virus vaccine?

Nope.

Not sure what happened. Dealt with Minor ones for years, kept in check with plenty of fiber, etc.

Then, all of a sudden, flaming napalm hanging out my butt.


If I had to guess stress might have been a contributing factorS hope you heal up soon.
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 9:58:13 AM EDT
[#30]
Try witch hazel for relief?
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 9:59:43 AM EDT
[#31]
Sorry for the bad year OP.... but your summary does have the makings for a decent country song at least
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 10:00:14 AM EDT
[#32]
Was gunna say, "Ain't that the shits." but thought better of it because it's kinda the opposite at issue right now.
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 10:01:40 AM EDT
[#33]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Just had hemorrhoid surgery six weeks ago.  Before surgery, the pain was manageable but they were bleeding to the point I’ve been anemic for the last two years.  Had to do something.

After he was finished, the surgeon told my wife mine was a particularly bad case and that I could expect a horrible two weeks.  Boy he wasn’t kidding.  Worst pain in my life with nothing else even holding a candle to it.  Broken bones, multiple sets of stitches over the years, getting kicked in the balls; merely a cake walk compared to the way my ass felt after surgery.

No amount of prescription pain killers mixed with ibuprofen could begin to cut the pain.  There was no position I could contort into to get any relief, despite your body constantly twisting and turning trying to find some.  After about two days of this, your muscles become sore from the non stop turning and that adds to the pain.

The only noticeable relief I could get was taking a hot epsons salt bath.  When I say hot I mean water temp that turns your legs red, but the pain reduction in your ass makes it not even a consideration.  I’d spend hours soaking.

I’m still not back to 100% but haven’t had to take any pain medication after about the third week.  The best part is no more bleeding like I was before.
View Quote

At least I have something to look forward to. Thanks.
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 10:04:21 AM EDT
[#34]
No monkeypox jokes yet?

J/k OP, I hope things get better for you.
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 10:07:14 AM EDT
[#35]
Metamucil cured my hind end problems.
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 10:07:45 AM EDT
[#36]
Add on bidet toilet seats are worth every penny.  Especially with hemorrhoids.
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 10:07:53 AM EDT
[#37]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Try witch hazel for relief?
View Quote

Have that and Tucks, etc.

Doc sent some lidocaine gel, but I reserve that for when I can't stand it anymore.

Won't take any opiates,for obvious reasons.
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 10:09:46 AM EDT
[#38]
Sometimes you don’t have to share your personal details on the internet. Sometimes.
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 10:10:32 AM EDT
[#39]
Doc used to give me this foam that was lidocaine I think, that stuff actually worked because you could actually get it all up in there
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 10:10:58 AM EDT
[#40]
I’m sorry to hear that OP.

In every sense of the phrase.
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 10:11:32 AM EDT
[#41]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Just had hemorrhoid surgery six weeks ago.  Before surgery, the pain was manageable but they were bleeding to the point I've been anemic for the last two years.  Had to do something.

After he was finished, the surgeon told my wife mine was a particularly bad case and that I could expect a horrible two weeks.  Boy he wasn't kidding.  Worst pain in my life with nothing else even holding a candle to it.  Broken bones, multiple sets of stitches over the years, getting kicked in the balls; merely a cake walk compared to the way my ass felt after surgery.

No amount of prescription pain killers mixed with ibuprofen could begin to cut the pain.  There was no position I could contort into to get any relief, despite your body constantly twisting and turning trying to find some.  After about two days of this, your muscles become sore from the non stop turning and that adds to the pain.

The only noticeable relief I could get was taking a hot epsons salt bath.  When I say hot I mean water temp that turns your legs red, but the pain reduction in your ass makes it not even a consideration.  I'd spend hours soaking.

I'm still not back to 100% but haven't had to take any pain medication after about the third week.  The best part is no more bleeding like I was before.
View Quote
This, unfortunately OP the surgery is a nightmare try laser or ligation or freezing, pretty much anything before actually getting surgery.
I had the surgery it was the worst pain and experience of my life and I have had a lot of painful things in my life.
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 10:13:19 AM EDT
[#42]
Your mental state can affect you having hemorrhoids.  If you already have kind of high blood pressure and you also have extra stress then you are more prone to getting hemorrhoids and bad ones at that.  You have to calm down and get your bp under control.  Then the hemorrhoids will start to heal.
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 10:14:25 AM EDT
[#43]
POOP THREAD
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 10:17:58 AM EDT
[#44]
Man, I've been there sort of. Dr. put me on some drugs that made me shit rocks. I ended up having a fisure. I couldn't bear to sit or walk. Taking a dump was like shitting lava.

Went to GP who told me to apply cortisol cream, lanacane, and something else. It made it worse. Went to see a surgeon who gave me a script to take to a compounding pharmacy. I cannot remember what it was but it was mixed in a base of Vaseline, I think. It was like magic. Two weeks later it was almost like it never happened.
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 10:19:52 AM EDT
[#45]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Your mental state can affect you having hemorrhoids.  If you already have kind of high blood pressure and you also have extra stress then you are more prone to getting hemorrhoids and bad ones at that.  You have to calm down and get your bp under control.  Then the hemorrhoids will start to heal.
View Quote


I got my roids from passin logs.

Link Posted: 9/17/2022 10:22:53 AM EDT
[#46]
Sorry bro, hang in there I’ve had some of the hardest years of my life as well.  Mom gone best friend and several other people gone.   At one point broke and to top it off herniated disks killing me.

It will get better,  just hold fast.  Im out this morning with no pain watching my horses graze drinking coffee.

I’ll pray for you l.
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 10:25:12 AM EDT
[#47]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

Have that and Tucks, etc.

Doc sent some lidocaine gel, but I reserve that for when I can't stand it anymore.

Won't take any opiates,for obvious reasons.
View Quote


This sounds like a situation where an exception could be made. Unless I'm missing the 'obvious' reason.
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 10:26:22 AM EDT
[#48]
Get um chopped out OP… Seriously, the after pain is second to none, but in the end it is worth it.
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 10:28:15 AM EDT
[#49]
I don’t have hemorrhoids


My wife says it’s because I’m the Perfect Asshole.
Link Posted: 9/17/2022 10:30:22 AM EDT
[#50]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


The only noticeable relief I could get was taking a hot epsons salt bath.  When I say hot I mean water temp that turns your legs red, but the pain reduction in your ass makes it not even a consideration.  I’d spend hours soaking.


View Quote


/\ /\ /\

This is what you do AFTER surgery, sit in hot water as HOT as you can stand it. Your Dr will say warm water out of caution for you suing him/her for burning yourself, but HOT HOT HOT water is what will give you relief. Plan on 2 weeks off. I only took one, had my surgery on Friday, went back to work 9 days later, that was not enough time.

Schedule 2 weeks off work.

HOT water baths, hot as you can stand it.

Take LOTS of fiber. I still today 15 years later take 15-20 capsules daily of Metamucil, spread out 3-4 times a day, 5 capsules per serving, super easy to take shits. Roids CAN and WILL come back if your not careful. Mine has never. Fiber is your friend. East plenty fiber post surgery as you still have to shit thru the chopped up area of your ass.
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