User Panel
User Panel
User Panel
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 9:54:39 AM EDT
[#1]
|
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 10:09:41 AM EDT
[#2]
Push a man out of a plane with a parachute and he will enjoy sky diving for the day.
Push a man out of a plane without a parachute and he'll enjoy sky diving for the rest of his life. |
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 10:18:39 AM EDT
[#3]
I got fired from my job for asking my customers "Smoking or non-smoking ?".
Apparently I should have asked "cremation or burial?" . |
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 10:18:51 AM EDT
[#4]
Do you know how to tell when a bad joke turns into a Dad joke?
When the punch line becomes apparent |
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 10:19:07 AM EDT
[#5]
How did the farmer find his wife? He tractor down.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 10:19:29 AM EDT
[#6]
Pull my finger.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 10:20:03 AM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryQuoted: How did the farmer find his wife? He tractor down. 
|
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 10:21:00 AM EDT
[#8]
I have a dad joke app on phone just for these occasions. Lets see what the first one is..
"What is the leading cause of dry skin?" Click To View Spoiler |
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 10:23:40 AM EDT
[#9]
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.... 
|
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 10:25:23 AM EDT
[#10]
What did the farmer say before he kicked the bucket?
“I wonder how far I can kick this bucket.” |
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 10:27:09 AM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Pull my finger. Adult men at work will go along with that one. And laugh like we’re a bunch of 10 year olds. |
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 10:30:07 AM EDT
[#12]
Quote HistoryQuoted: How did the farmer find his wife? He tractor down. Ok. This one got me |
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 10:30:13 AM EDT
[#13]
What do you get when you cross a porcupine and a turtle?
A slow poke |
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 10:31:33 AM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted: What's brown and sticky? A stick.... What’s brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr Dre Why does snoop dogg carry an umbrella? F’drizzle What does snoop dogg use on his laundry? Bleyotch |
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 10:32:06 AM EDT
[#15]
My all time favorite.
Dad walks into his son’s room and yells, “Son, don’t do that, you’ll go blind.” The son says, “Dad, I’m over here.” |
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 10:32:17 AM EDT
[#16]
What kind of shoes to frogs wear?
Open toad sandals. |
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 10:33:23 AM EDT
[#17]
Have you heard that Denmark is putting big barcodes on all of their ships?
Yep. That way when they come into port they can Scandinavian. |
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 10:34:42 AM EDT
[#18]
What do you call a fish with no "eyes"?
............ FSSHHHH! |
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 10:37:24 AM EDT
[#19]
Knock knock
Who’s there? I eat mop… |
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 10:37:28 AM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted: What do you call a fish with no "eyes"? ............ FSSHHHH! That was in the new Ghostbusters. My 9 y/o son loves it! |
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 10:38:01 AM EDT
[#21]
I heard the day after Oscars Chris Rock woke up with some Fresh Prints on his face
|
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 10:39:47 AM EDT
[#22]
Where does a rainbow go if it breaks the law?
Prism I bought these shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been trippin’ all day. What’s squishy, brown, an inch around, 6 inches long, smells like a turd and has four wheels? A turd. I was kidding about the wheels. |
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 10:40:03 AM EDT
[#23]
What’s brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 10:41:04 AM EDT
[#24]
I'd give it to you, but it won't fit in the mail.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 10:41:10 AM EDT
[#25]
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh. Eta: fuck, between that and the stick joke you guys took all my jokes. What green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table. |
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 10:44:05 AM EDT
[#26]
At your age, do you wear boxers or briefs?
Depends. |
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 10:45:21 AM EDT
[#27]
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
:shrug: No eye deer. |
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 10:56:13 AM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted: What do you call a deer with no eyes? :shrug: No eye deer. What do you call a deer with no legs and no eyes? still no eye deer |
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 11:03:41 AM EDT
[#29]
Whay do you call a deer with no eyes....? No idear
|
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 11:08:35 AM EDT
[#30]
Two fish swimming one runs into wall and says dam
|
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 11:17:50 AM EDT
[#31]
A guy is walking past a monastery kitchen and sees one of them inside frying potato chips.
"You must be the friar in charge! AAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" The brother replies: "Oh no, I'm just the chip monk." |
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 11:33:25 AM EDT
[#32]
Why did the clock cross the road? It was running out of time!
ETA: My 3 year old daughter came up with this one... Why did the pig cross the road? Because he wasted to be pink icecream! 
|
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 11:35:42 AM EDT
[#33]
Ask me if I am an Alligator.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 11:37:07 AM EDT
[#34]
I had a dream I ate a giant marshmallow last night, when I woke up my pillow was gone!
|
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 11:38:13 AM EDT
[#35]
It’s freaking hot outside! How hot is it? I don’t know but there were two pigs in the desert, one said I’m hot, the other said I’m bacon!
|
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 11:47:47 AM EDT
[#36]
|
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 1:34:54 PM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Ask me if I am an Alligator. Are you an alligator? |
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 1:38:28 PM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Are you an alligator? 
|
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 1:38:53 PM EDT
[#39]
I woke up this morning and could only remember 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don't know why. |
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 1:42:50 PM EDT
[#40]
Did you hear about the stripper that went to the gym twice a week?
The customers said she was abhorrent. |
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 1:44:32 PM EDT
[#41]
An old dirty joke.
2 white horses fell in the mud 3 came out |
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 1:45:16 PM EDT
[#42]
I am afraid for the calendar, it's days are numbered...
Why can't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired... |
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 1:47:11 PM EDT
[#43]
what has four legs, is brownish grey, full of concrete and howls at the moon?
a coyote. the concrete is just to make it harder |
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 1:47:16 PM EDT
[#44]
Got your nose!
|
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 1:48:58 PM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted: My all time favorite. Dad walks into his son’s room and yells, “Son, don’t do that, you’ll go blind.” The son says, “Dad, I’m over here.” A man went to the doctor for a check up. The doctor said "well, you're going to have to stop masturbating", so the man said "why?" The Dr said "so I can start the examination" |
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 1:49:45 PM EDT
[#46]
    
|
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 1:50:10 PM EDT
[#47]
I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer “Smoking” or “Non-smoking”.
Apparently the correct terms are “cremation” and “burial.” I joined a dating site for arsonists. I've been getting a lot of matches. |
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 1:50:23 PM EDT
[#48]
what is orange and sounds like parrot
a carrot |
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 1:51:44 PM EDT
[#49]
What’s brown and sits in the woods?
Winnie’s Poo |
|
|
|
Posted: 6/22/2022 1:51:56 PM EDT
[#50]
Have you heard about Corduroy pillows?
They're making headlines! |
|
|
AR15.COM is the world's largest firearm community and is a gathering place for firearm enthusiasts of all types.
From hunters and military members, to competition shooters and general firearm enthusiasts, we welcome anyone who values and respects the way of the firearm.
Subscribe to our monthly Newsletter to receive firearm news, product discounts from your favorite Industry Partners, and more.
Copyright © 1996-2024 AR15.COM LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Any use of this content without express written consent is prohibited.
AR15.Com reserves the right to overwrite or replace any affiliate, commercial, or monetizable links, posted by users, with our own.
