Would it change your opinion if you knew this person has taken as many as 10 attempts to successfully complete two CLEET courses with at least a 72 score at biannual quals?

Please give us an update on the repair. 

Your o-n o-f-f swtch was in the o-f-f position. 

How can that be? 

User error. 

How soon will this be fixed?  As soon as people stop asking me for fucking updates. 

City of Tulsa security.

Well, I am not tying to dispute the fact that he may be an idiot, just that Israeli draw is a legit thing.
Think how may Glock legs could have been prevented!

I grew up not far from Tulsa.

That sounds like an interesting profession btw.

I just put him on the list of "people who will be dead immediately if there is ever an active shooter situation at City Hall" and leave them out of the tactical equation.

Before Zero's first immaculation... "Barrack isn't like Romney. He's one of us."

Btw... my office was mostly split along gender lines during the last 3-5 presidential elections. There were/are a few females who THINK when they vote. But the vast majority of them here just FEEL. And no matter how ignorant they are of candidates and issues, their opinions on them are strong. Most of them avoid engaging me in debate (I NEVER seek them out or bring politics up)... because they know that I have facts, logic and reason. And all they have is FEELZ.

"I can't have an IV; I'm allergic to saline."

"I have end-stage fibromyalgia."

Come apply. Get a self employed armed CLEET license and the interview takes about 90 seconds.
I have a PI and bail enforcer endorsement, too.
My license is self-employed with a personal bond, so it doesn't immediately lapse if I am no longer employed by the city.
My employer bond is primary, however.

"Scientists claim life on earth 3.5 billion years old, no wonder any thinking person believes science is bullshit."

(well, I didn't hear it, I read it.)

(And it wasn't from a coworker or a customer.)

(But I was at work when it happened! )

Every woman I know does this. If it is a little cooler or hotter than they like they crank it way up or down instead of just bumping it a degree or two.

Of course they then way overshoot.

A 2000 Jeep Wrangler?



At first, I was shocked and didn't believe it, but then I looked on autotrader.com

https://www.autotrader.com/cars-for-sale/vehicledetails.xhtml?listingId=474027671&zip=23111&referrer=%2Fcars-for-sale%2Fsearchresults.xhtml%3Fzip%3D23111%26startYear%3D2000%26sortBy%3DderivedpriceDESC%26incremental%3Dall%26firstRecord%3D0%26endYear%3D2001%26modelCodeList%3DWRANGLER%26makeCodeList%3DJEEP%26searchRadius%3D0&startYear=2000&numRecords=25&firstRecord=0&endYear=2001&modelCodeList=WRANGLER&makeCodeList=JEEP&searchRadius=0&makeCode1=JEEP&modelCode1=WRANGLER

https://www.autotrader.com/cars-for-sale/vehicledetails.xhtml?listingId=470465787&zip=23111&referrer=%2Fcars-for-sale%2Fsearchresults.xhtml%3Fzip%3D23111%26startYear%3D2000%26sortBy%3DderivedpriceDESC%26incremental%3Dall%26firstRecord%3D0%26endYear%3D2001%26modelCodeList%3DWRANGLER%26makeCodeList%3DJEEP%26searchRadius%3D0&startYear=2000&numRecords=25&firstRecord=0&endYear=2001&modelCodeList=WRANGLER&makeCodeList=JEEP&searchRadius=0&makeCode1=JEEP&modelCode1=WRANGLER

https://www.autotrader.com/cars-for-sale/vehicledetails.xhtml?listingId=471117051&zip=23111&referrer=%2Fcars-for-sale%2Fsearchresults.xhtml%3Fzip%3D23111%26startYear%3D2000%26sortBy%3DderivedpriceDESC%26incremental%3Dall%26firstRecord%3D0%26endYear%3D2001%26modelCodeList%3DWRANGLER%26makeCodeList%3DJEEP%26searchRadius%3D0&startYear=2000&numRecords=25&firstRecord=0&endYear=2001&modelCodeList=WRANGLER&makeCodeList=JEEP&searchRadius=0&makeCode1=JEEP&modelCode1=WRANGLER

https://www.autotrader.com/cars-for-sale/vehicledetails.xhtml?listingId=468646793&zip=23111&referrer=%2Fcars-for-sale%2Fsearchresults.xhtml%3Fzip%3D23111%26startYear%3D2000%26sortBy%3DderivedpriceDESC%26incremental%3Dall%26firstRecord%3D0%26endYear%3D2001%26modelCodeList%3DWRANGLER%26makeCodeList%3DJEEP%26searchRadius%3D0&startYear=2000&numRecords=25&firstRecord=0&endYear=2001&modelCodeList=WRANGLER&makeCodeList=JEEP&searchRadius=0&makeCode1=JEEP&modelCode1=WRANGLER

https://www.autotrader.com/cars-for-sale/vehicledetails.xhtml?listingId=464483579&zip=23111&referrer=%2Fcars-for-sale%2Fsearchresults.xhtml%3Fzip%3D23111%26startYear%3D2000%26sortBy%3DderivedpriceDESC%26incremental%3Dall%26firstRecord%3D0%26endYear%3D2001%26modelCodeList%3DWRANGLER%26makeCodeList%3DJEEP%26searchRadius%3D0&startYear=2000&numRecords=25&firstRecord=0&endYear=2001&modelCodeList=WRANGLER&makeCodeList=JEEP&searchRadius=0&makeCode1=JEEP&modelCode1=WRANGLER

Yup. And school shootings, and holes in paper targets, and injured people at Iraqi weddings, etc...

My Mom was convinced the thermostat was a switch.  On or OFF.

I know 3 people, that i know personally, that do this. on guns with thumb safetys.

"you'll shoot yer dick off!" they told me. one of them shot thru their holster/pants/car seat and car floor. "Forgot i had one in the tube, thats why you carry empty ya see!" Or, i dont know, dont pull the fucking trigger when you are moving your gun from your cupholder to your nylon holster as driving around holstered was "uncomfortable". This is a guy I walked thru the buying of the gun, how to use the gun, and how to get his CCW in my old county. Some people really shouldn't have guns.

I work at a college so...

Can I pet your dog?

I appreciate the invitation but I think I'll stick with what I'm doing! Be careful out there, man. Tulsa was pretty sporty when I was running around there back in the day. I imagine it's not much if any better now.

*knock knock
(drunk guy at two in the morning)
"Can I help you?"
I'm just trying to get to my room. My card isn't working.

This is City Hall. You want that huge building two blocks that way, with the "Marriott" sign.
*points

Dude wanders off the opposite direction into the street, almost got hit by a taxi.

Had to call 10-80 (TPD)

you must work at  TANNER CLINIC

Well old ones were a switch now they are more of a relay I guess and on most furnaces they are just on and off

My wife, who is normally quite good at understanding things, cannot figure out thermostats.

Her: "Is the AC on?'
Me: "Yeah."
Her: "Turn it off, it is only 75 degrees outside today."
Me: "It is set to 80 degrees, so it won't come on unless the temperature gets to 80. And if it does get to 80, we will need to AC."
Her: "But it is 75 degrees outside, I don't want to waste money running the AC."
Me: "It isn't running."
Her: "Not now, but it is on!"
Me:(slaps head)

Absolutely stoned off his ass guy in his early twenties wanders into the public entrance to City Hall.

"I just bought this building. I'm your new boss."

"I've got a barrett 50 bmg. I don't even have to hit the pigs, just get close and it blows them to pieces."

He fucked a saw up Friday because he is retarded and he hasn't shown back up.

that, OK, that is deep...

Neither Rubicon’s nor LJs were made in 2000.

No, it's not.

No, I mean she thought the lever that adjusted the temperature setting was like a switch.  If she was cold, lever all the way up.  When she was warm, lever all the way down.  The dial?  That was the thermometer, she didn't know what that other needle was for.

No, I'm in Salt Lake. But I know a fair number of the Tanner Docs.

Any primary care, urgent care or ER physician could fill the entire page with stupid things they hear at work.

My wife had a great one when she worked for the city water billing department.

Caller:  Why did you shut off my water?
Wife: Give me your name, and address, and I will look up the account.  After a short pause:  Your bill is paid current, we didn't shut off your water.
Caller: But it doesn't work...why did you only shut off my hot water?
Wife:  I suggest you check your water heater...we haven't shut off any of your water.
Caller:  Huh?
Call ends.

Fudds drive Kias?

I see what you're getting at, but that was neither the case nor the statement from IT.

I feel your pain with dispatchers
I usually find a cell phone charger plugged in where the equipment should be.  there are usually emails with pictures included sent out after those calls

Heard on Planet Money (NPR) . . . economist from Washington state did a study on giving better access to Health Insurance to low income citizens to see if it would reduce the number of ER visits, this costing us less.  It had exactly the opposite effect, since they had health insurance they went to the ER about twice as much.

But because she felt that healthcare should be paid for by the government that it would be okay to have them wasting time and money that way.

"I'm the boss".  Well excuse me asshole.

some folks , you just can't reach.

One of my employees offered to show me a photo of his anus right after lunch today.

I politely declined. He was trying to sensationalize his colitis.

Anytime I think I've made a poor investment there is always somebody that blows me out of the water with a retarded purchase

I could have had so much fun with that guy

From a plumber today: What the fuck is a MJ (mechanical joint) fitting?

Ya I got similar results when I googled. It was a financially insecure female navy seaman recruit

I’m an IT contractor for the SMB world.  I don’t even raise an eyebrow anymore, unless it isn’t stupid.

Genius level comments heard at various jobs over the years:

"I didn't know people from Spain spoke Spanish?"

When their (fortunately) personal vehicles stopped working:

"What do you mean I have to add/change oil regularly? I thought it runs on gas?"

"Oh, I wondered why there were two pump handles at the gas pump. I thought the green one was better for the environment".

At a Pizza Hut a looooong time ago:

Manager - "Why are you putting so much pepperoni on that pizza?"

Me - "It says right here on the ingredients list for a Large Super Supreme pizza, XX slices of pepperoni".

Her - "You're just wasting ingredients. You don't need to use so much. See, if you arrange the slices like this (1/3 of what the list states), every slice of pizza still has pepperoni.

Me -

2 days later, Regional Manager comes in for inspection, while I'm making a Large Super Supreme.

RM - "STOP. What are you making?"

Me - "A Large Super Supreme"

RM - "And how many slices of pepperoni are supposed to go on a Large Super Supreme?"

Me - *while looking him dead in the eye, and not even glancing at the ingredients card*, "XX".

RM - "And how many did you put on that pizza"

Me - *still looking him dead in the eye*, "XX"

RM - "Why did you do that"

Me - *pointing at store manager*, "Because she told me to. She told me I was unnecessarily wasting ingredients when I followed the list".

Manager's face turns even whiter. RM's face turns dark red.

RM - "From now on, just follow the card".

That was not the only incident I'd had with that store manager. There were numerous other incidents with that twat waffle in just the 5 days I'd worked there. I quit the next day.

We pay for performance.

Hey Mr Scooter, how do I do taxes?  

his experience is 100% residential, and most likely service.

Pretty sure the Israelis stopped doing that decades ago.

Yes, I read Gun&Ammo through the 80's. I no longer wear neon headbands and I keep one in the chamber.

Probably true. It was a 3" service going to a 3" MJ valve on the customer side of the meter.

Boss comes back a few hours ago, in a huff, and asked on of my co-workers to "talk to this guy" and handed him his cell phone.

Co-worker takes the phone, says "hello" several times and says "he must have hung up."

He then asks the boss what the call was about and the boss describes a textbook phone scam. He gets told that by co-worker and I. He then asks my co-worker how they got his number and starts wondering out loud if it had something to do with the Equifax data breach and leaves, muttering to himself.

He then goes to talk to the woman who does our payroll and leaves to close his personal bank accounts.

The payroll woman comes back, to see if we know what's he's on about.

We tell her we're just as confused as she is.