Posted: 3/23/2019 1:12:48 AM EDT
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I don't remember where I copied this from, but I hope somebody enjoys it. Also, feel free to post copypasta that you've found here or elsewhere.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you’re going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911. Here’s why: Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol’ American hot lead. Basilisk? Let’s see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren’t looking at it–you’re looking at a picture of it. Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12. And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it’s because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal. Now I know what you’re going to say: “But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!” Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger? Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova. Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don’t think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort’s wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry’s would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let’s see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound. I can see it now…Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can’t be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series: “Well then I guess it’s a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1.” And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911. |
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This was posted recently, and I loved so much I knew I had plans for it in the future.....
Arfcommers, many of whom are huge supporters and users of the weed, also think it's A-OK to be drunk and/or high while handling and shooting firearms. There has been long, multi-page threads in the past with hundreds of Arftards posting how they think it's great to be smoking the weed or downing lots of beers while blasting away with their AR or a 9mm (usually a S&W or CZ since those are the go-to guns of the 'tards). In fact a large number of said 'tards have posted how they "know when they are getting too drunk/high and will then stop shooting" because it's a well known fact that people who are drunk or high make outstanding, reasonable decisions. In other words, Arfcom approves of the dope oil next to you. In fact they are wishing you had both on your table for sale. At cut rate prices, of course, cuz Arfcommers are cheap fuckers. |
This one had me 
Typical of GD to turn a discussion of declining sales into a Harley hate group. Yeah, I am in my early 50s. I technically am still married but my wife, I am separated from, and adult kids live in the US while I live in Panama. But to label every Harley rider as a tough biker want a be is similar to labeling every Trump supporter as a racist. I have been riding bikes for 30 years now. Started with a Suzuki and quickly switched to Harley Davidsons. Why? The life style. I picked up more girls on that loud leaking shovel head than I ever could on another bike. So here I am, 30 years later, in good shape and now riding in a 1%ER club on an older Screamin Eagle Road King. True dual straight pipes and loud as fuck if I crank the throttle. Yeah, I am in a real fucking biker club. Lots of leather, lots of Harleys, and lots of fun. Funny how these type of clubs are quickly labeled "criminal organizations", but I will tell you this. My brothers are honest, loyal, and have my back. Our by laws clearly state no lying and no criminal activities allowed. Do some brothers break those rules, sure, but tell me any organization that does not have some assholes in it that do what they want. Do we sometimes pull into a gas station like we own the place and take up parking spots, hell yeah, so what? The same guys complaining about trivial shit like that probably would come over and compliment my F250 King Ranch as it took up multiple spots because of its size. Simple, if you don't like Harleys go ride another bike. I love my Road King. I ride mine hard as hell and because of their "old" design I can get parts easily and do almost any repair myself. I have friends down here who ride BMWs who can't get the oil change service light out because you need a special computer. My bike has been reliable and I accept the downsides of riding a vibrating monster. Downsides like my rear tire tracking in a turn at 80MPH plus or when my shifter lever came loose and I could not downshift. Yeah, it took me 20 minutes on the side of the road to fix, but so what. The hot chicks on the back of our bikes took selfies while we quickly addressed the issue. That loud vibrating monster still gets more girl's attention than any other bike could. The lifestyle includes parties with naked girls washing bikes, huge motorcycle runs, charity events, just overall fun. Is it a dying breed and lifestyle? Perhaps, but many of the reasons we Harley riders love it is because those same reasons turn off millennials and keep them away from us. If Harley wants to attract a different demographic and not risk alienating the base they have, they, in IMO, should do something similar to what they had with Buell. |
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Quoted:
This one had me
Typical of GD to turn a discussion of declining sales into a Harley hate group. Yeah, I am in my early 50s. I technically am still married but my wife, I am separated from, and adult kids live in the US while I live in Panama. But to label every Harley rider as a tough biker want a be is similar to labeling every Trump supporter as a racist. I have been riding bikes for 30 years now. Started with a Suzuki and quickly switched to Harley Davidsons. Why? The life style. I picked up more girls on that loud leaking shovel head than I ever could on another bike. So here I am, 30 years later, in good shape and now riding in a 1%ER club on an older Screamin Eagle Road King. True dual straight pipes and loud as fuck if I crank the throttle. Yeah, I am in a real fucking biker club. Lots of leather, lots of Harleys, and lots of fun. Funny how these type of clubs are quickly labeled "criminal organizations", but I will tell you this. My brothers are honest, loyal, and have my back. Our by laws clearly state no lying and no criminal activities allowed. Do some brothers break those rules, sure, but tell me any organization that does not have some assholes in it that do what they want. Do we sometimes pull into a gas station like we own the place and take up parking spots, hell yeah, so what? The same guys complaining about trivial shit like that probably would come over and compliment my F250 King Ranch as it took up multiple spots because of its size. Simple, if you don't like Harleys go ride another bike. I love my Road King. I ride mine hard as hell and because of their "old" design I can get parts easily and do almost any repair myself. I have friends down here who ride BMWs who can't get the oil change service light out because you need a special computer. My bike has been reliable and I accept the downsides of riding a vibrating monster. Downsides like my rear tire tracking in a turn at 80MPH plus or when my shifter lever came loose and I could not downshift. Yeah, it took me 20 minutes on the side of the road to fix, but so what. The hot chicks on the back of our bikes took selfies while we quickly addressed the issue. That loud vibrating monster still gets more girl's attention than any other bike could. The lifestyle includes parties with naked girls washing bikes, huge motorcycle runs, charity events, just overall fun. Is it a dying breed and lifestyle? Perhaps, but many of the reasons we Harley riders love it is because those same reasons turn off millennials and keep them away from us. If Harley wants to attract a different demographic and not risk alienating the base they have, they, in IMO, should do something similar to what they had with Buell. |