https://www.today.com/pets/brutally-honest-adoption-ad-demonic-chihuahua-goes-viral-t214536


A tweet about a “demonic Chihuahua” named Prancer who is up for adoption has gone viral on Twitter due to the brutally honest description written by his foster owner of what potential adopters could expect from the dog.

Tyfanee Fortuna, Prancer’s current foster owner, shared a post to Facebook on April 7 with some photos and videos of the two-year-old pup, trying to find a way to make the dog sound appealing to future adoptive owners.

"I’ve tried for the last several months to post this dog for adoption and make him sound... palatable,” she wrote. “The problem is, he’s just not. There’s not a very big market for neurotic, man hating, animal hating, children hating dogs that look like gremlins. But I have to believe there’s someone out there for Prancer, because I am tired and so is my family. Every day we live in the grips of the demonic Chihuahua hellscape he has created in our home.”

Fortuna wrote that fellow Chihuahua owners would understand what she was talking about, saying Prancer embodied the “Chihuahua meme that describes them as being 50% hate and 50% tremble.”

“If you’re intrigued and horrified at how this animal sounds already, just wait.... there’s more,” she added. “Prancer came to me obese, wearing a cashmere sweater, with a bacon egg n cheese stuffed in his crate with him. I should have known in that moment this dog would be a problem.”

She explained that his previous owner was an elderly woman who treated Prancer like he was a human and didn’t socialize him.

"Sprinkle in a little genetic predisposition for being nervous, and you’ve concocted a neurotic mess, AKA Prancer,” she wrote. “His first week he was too terrified to have a personality. As awful as it sounds, I kind of liked him better that way. He was quiet, and just laid on the couch. Didn’t bother anyone. I was excited to see him come out of his shell and become a real dog. I am convinced at this point he is not a real dog, but more like a vessel for a traumatized Victorian child that now haunts our home.”

She also made an epic reference to "The Office" in terms of how Prancer gets along with other animals. "We have somewhat come to an agreement that it’s wrong to attack the other animals," she explained. "But you know that episode of 'The Office' where Michael Scott silently whispers 'I’ll kill you' to Toby? That’s Prancer having to begrudgingly coexist with everyone when I’m around."

Prancer also has a very specific taste in humans in that he only likes women, so if you have a husband, "don't bother applying, unless you hate him."

"We also mentioned no kids for Prancer. I think at this point, you can imagine why,” she added. “He’s never been in the presence of a child, but I can already imagine the demonic noises and shaking fury that would erupt from his body if he was. Prancer wants to be your only child.”

Fortuna understands that Prancer might be a hard sell and that “finding someone who wants a Chucky doll in a dogs body is hard.”

“If you’ve always wanted your own haunted Victorian child in the body of a small dog that hates men and children, please email [email protected],” she wrote. “Oh, also he’s only 2yrs old and will probably live to be 21 through pure spite, so take that into account if you’re interested.”

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For crying out loud.

I have ways of dealing with worthless animals...

Like I tell all my dog owner friends, $1 to Dr Winchester cures all.

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Fucking Chihuahuas. Hate them dogs.

.22lr and a shovel.

Problem solved..

Fucking lap Piranhas.

FPNI

I'm a laver of dogs, but some just need to be put down.

C'mon man.  One of you guys sdhould get him.

I really hate the mean ones.  I love the stupid looking ones with bug eyes.

How could you hate this dog?



or this little guy



I mean, sure they're worthless as dogs, but they can be great pets....if they're not assholes.

Looked to make sure it wasn’t my ex wife’s dog, lol

Always been a big dog guy myself until about 18 years ago when I convinced my wife we need to get a dog. She’s a cat person. We compromised on a chihuahua. We had to put him down about 2 years ago. Loved the little guy.  I’d have another today if a dog fit our lifestyle. To be honest... I kinda want Prancer... but no dogs for our house and we have kids.

That author has a gift.

My mom had a Chipooh, half chi and half poodle. That little asshole was cool most times but could turn the asshole to 11 in a heartbeat! I still have a scar on my finger from that little prick. Oh, and he lived to 24 years old!

I remember seeing a brindle chihuahua in a car outside a convenience store that, if it had diamond teeth, it would have eaten its way through the door glass to consume my soul as I walked past the car to go inside.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/us-news/14618787/haunted-victorian-chihuahua-wins-hearts-adoption-honest/

One of my dogs was an absolute terror and considered un-adoptable. He would lunge at the shelter employees putting food his bowl, never want to be touched, wouldn't play, and would just snarl if you came near him.

For some reason he instantly warmed up to me and I was able to convince the staff to adopt him. I've now had him for 5 years and he's the kindest most gentle dog. He's bonded with my dog and never once showed any signs of aggression or resource guarding.

Some dogs just need the right fit.

Sounds exactly like the Peekapoo my dad adopted when I was about 5.  She was nuts and hated kids.  The only think she liked was a doberman we had.  She liked him enough.for 3 sets of puppies.  I fear the amount of hate released upon the world by those.

 I love Chihuahuas, they all act like that.

Release into the wild. Let nature run its course.
There ya little fucker. You think youre a little bad ass?  Good luck.

I was going to say .45 but I like this option better.

You know how they feed mice to snakes?

[eltonjohn]...it's the ciiircle of life...[/eltonjohn]

They can be bad if they’re not raised correctly.  Ours is probably the sweetest disposition of any dog we’ve ever had.  Turning ten this month and just recovered from knee surgery a couple of months ago.  After her knee surgery, she acts four years younger.  A well behaved chihuahua is extremely entertaining. Attached File
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I was always pretty predisposed against chihuahuas as being annoying and dumb until my grandparents got one. He isnt the smartest around but he's friendly, well behaved, and listens to commands. Hes pushing 16 or 17 and I don't think he has much longer, but hes a good little mutt.

Group buy?

I put up with one of those brain damaged little bastards for a year before I'd finally had it and found it a new home.

I have a better idea.

@SBR_Slut

We find the most basic burbanite broad obsessed with furbabies.
And we send her this thing.

If Muh fur baby don't like you, it won't work.

6 feet. 6 figures. Etc.

Perpetual loneliness induced by demonic punt mutt.

Somebody should send that little fucker to the BLM lady with the new house, be the perfect house warming gift....

I live in a primarily hispanic neighborhood and we have roving bands of feral chihuahuas. I used to slow down and take a lot of care not accidentally hit one. I only slow down for kids these days

An uncle, aunt, and cousin in Maryland had one like that.  Pedro was his name.  It would haul ass down the hallway to bite me, just because it could.  By the time my summer visit was over I wanted to murder it.  "Murder" is not an appropriate verb for killing an animal, you say?  Oh, yes it is.

@OnlineAllTheTime

I love animals but Chihuahuas are not animals, they are demons

my older step daughter is having to put her dog down tomorrow.  she`s old, blind & little.  nobody else would have taken her in except our girl, when she found the dog at the rescue the dog bit her right off.  she took her home anyway & has kept her about 7-8 years.  she is in pain now, can`t stand & is totally blind.  time to be let go.  we all are gonna miss her because she is such a strong personality.  I saw her wooly three pound self run off my brothers pit bull.  the dog had fear in its eyes. I think she was once owned by an old man.  she has always preferred men, she would curl up on me or my brother and stay as long as she was allowed.  gonna miss her.

Literally just read the whole OP to Wes and stopped on that part and said, "So there's this guy on Arf......" and explained the spelling situation.  

Damn. Maybe if she saved a little of her bad nose job money and spent it on training the dog she wouldnt need to put out ads for it. I mean, I dont see how spending less on that nose job could have made it come out worse.

That dog needs a big, mean cat.

I'm not saying you should, but if you've already got a shovel what's the bullet for?

for some odd reason the dog looks like the pawn star guy

This dog is cool as fuck and not mean to people. But he's 6-0-0 in the tiny dog at the park dog fighting league. He's always in a harness and on a leash. Never barks at other dogs or shows aggression. But if some dipshit brings their dog inside his range he'll nail their ass instantly and thrash the fuck out of them.

Stinky

Rescued a chi 11 years ago who was apparently owned by an old lady.  She's been the best damn dog I've ever owned.  

She thinks she's a 90lb pitbull.  Attacked a full grown rot and a lab trying to protect our girls from the friendly neighbor dogs.   Those dogs were legit scared of our 8lb beast.

Last year we rescued 3 kittens which has her off kilter.  She is toothless now but tries to eat the smallest one, chases the fattest one, and humps the shit out of the biggest one.  

She has a great vocab and is surprisingly intelligent for having a peanut sized brain... gonna be a sad day when it's her time to go.   Attached File

Do you use the shovel to fling them over the fence so the local raptors see their lunch launch?

The author sounds like a dipshit.

That dog could likely be taken in by anyone who wasn't an asshole and he'd adjust after a bit.  

Maybe he's just a bit irritated because he lives with a fucking moron.

Fits in a dishwasher

holy carp, 24. damn

What about a dryer?

Because the little BASTARDS will hide under the couch, wait for you to go by and dart out and bite you in the heel or on the ankle.
Hard.
When you're on your stomach trying to get the little BASTARD out , your Aunt comes to the little BASTARD's shaking ASS rescue and YOU get the whipping.
For being mean to Poochie.
I think instead of sending the little shits to Hell,Heaven would be a better Hell for them.
It would KILL the little pieces of shit to have to be nice.
Mexican huh?
Pinata their ass.

On top of this abortion of a dog she has 7 more and 12 cats. That's an owner problem as much as a dog problem.

Leash the little shit and tie it to the bumper before driving that trip to Disneyland. Clark Griswald style all the way.

The dog needs it’s ass beat, but the owner looks like a low rent stoner who probably screams at it constantly instead of a properly timed body slam.

My brother had a chihuahua I hated when he got it. Eventually we warmed up to each other. Miss the little shit.