Serious question for my serious peeps.

I've been rocking some form of IBM Keytronics or MS Ergo split since Reagan was president. I can't find a replacement MS Office 4000 ergo usb under $200 to save my life after coffee got the (second to) last one a few months back.

What's the best carpal-friendly rock-solid urban commando-warrior set of ticklers out there? I've surfed the youtube shit and remain unimpressed. Got a logitech k350 as an interim, and it doesn't totally suck.

Help me find my jam.

I use the Microsoft Sculpt and I love it.

MS Sculpt

I've had a K350 for about a year and the letters have come off some of the keys.  I've never had that happen on any brand of keyboard.  I've had good luck with Logitechs, but with this one I have found that getting to their customer service costs more in time lost than just buying a new one.

The other problem with this one is that it just locks up sometimes.  I'm typing and it just quits, then a string of text appears with characters missing, etc...  I've considered dusting off an old Dell wired keyboard, but wireless is nice.

I'm rocking a Roccat Vulcan 121 AIMO RGB
I bought it for gaming, but I like it as a general-use keyboard too.

RGB is cool + programmable macros.
Very easy to blow dust out from between the keys.
Magnetic detachable palm rest.
Volume knob.
Option for Linear (1.4mm actuation/2.6mm total travel) or Tactile (1.8mm actuation/3.6 total travel) switches.  I got the tactile switches, since I like more travel and a little 'bump.'
$120.00

I like mechanical keyboards. Love hearing that click and feeling it. I think that's what your keytronic keyboards give you.

I use Synapse Razor Blackwidow programmable keyboards and you can get them for less than $100

G710+
https://youtu.be/izvYBowsTB0

I like Rosewill mechanical keyboards with brown switches. Durable, long-lasting, mechanical switches that don't sound like jackhammers, and it's a simple-looking keyboard without tacky graphics or blinkenlights all over it.

https://www.newegg.com/p/N82E16823201083

I can't touch type, so I wouldn't buy a non-illuminated keyboard.  Also, not having a volume knob is retarded.