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All I know is I hope Alex Jones gets wind of his literotica based on OPs sad love life.

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The cookout...

Alex Jones was feeling good as he followed corporate chick to her home for some fun. Yesterday at the company cookout our living meme was overheard by her making his infamous eating leftist ass comment. This, sparking her intrigue led to them enjoying corn on the cob together, exchanging texts, and an invite to her house after work today. Her home was a quaint bungalow in a nice neighborhood on the west side of town. The kind of neighborhood where a man doesn't have to mow on lawn just to suck a tit. He followed her inside after she locked her rescue pit bull in the bathroom. Her house was neither messy or clean. The kind of random clutter and piles of clothes generated by the malaise your average single woman felt towards housekeeping. They went to the bedroom and she kicked off her heels, unbuttoned her blouse to reveal small, yet firm breasts. She told him to lie on the bed as she put Dave Matthews Band on the radio and he did so obediently after disrobing. She then unzipped her sleek Neiman Marcus skirt, letting it fall to the ground. She then climbed in bed and straddled his face reverse cowgirl style. The first thing Alex noticed was her shining white gold anklet and then the thick yellow crust ring around her heel...a true tale of two cities. Corporate chick then descended her hairy Italian butthole down to his face. It loomed like a manifestation of the alien from The Thing. Boom, she aced the landing and Alex went to work. She did too, yanking his crank in a cold, efficient manner, much like her standoffish corporate hardass attitude. Her ass however, was soft and supple, and Alex was thoroughly enjoying himself. And then it happened. The Straggler, the lone refugee. One single piece of corn emerged from it's dark hiding place and dropped into Alex's left eye. He winced and tried to crawfish out from under her but his arms were pinned under her legs. The kernel continued its ocular assault on Alex Jones eye. As Dave crooned, her dog howled and scratched at the door, a fly buzzed lazily about the room, Alex blinked and winced while her starfish danced upon his lips. Sweat beading on his forehead, he could take no more. Alex screamed it burns, in as much as one could scream while wearing another persons anus as a mask. Pissed, she cursed him and painfully slapped his shaft. She jumped off of him, one jagged toenail scratching his cheek. Alex tried pitifully to explain what happened while blinking uncontrollably like a political prisoner sending Morse code. She roared at him to leave. The corn, having fallen into the dusty abyss under her bed, would never be seen again. Alex left dejected, with blue balls and pink eye. The next day, he was summoned to human resources.

@JLPettimoreIII
@SBR_Slut

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@AeroEngineer