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Posted: 5/4/2021 12:18:55 PM EDT
Now every time I write a certain correctional facility they have to call me to verify I sent the mail. I asked and because despicable scoundrels are sending fake legal mail they have to call every single lawyer and verify the letter is legit.
 I thought maybe they didn't recognize my name or something, nope, they call on every letter.Curse those fake lawyer pricks, I have shitposting, I mean motions to file. |
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Posted: 5/4/2021 12:21:30 PM EDT
[#1]
Sign the letters with 'Real Lawyer, not a penguin. For reals.'
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Posted: 5/4/2021 12:22:06 PM EDT
[#2]
Get ready for some prison lovin, Penguin
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Posted: 5/4/2021 12:22:36 PM EDT
[#3]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Sign the letters with 'Real Lawyer, not a penguin. For reals.' Does the moose ever show up in your avatar? |
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Posted: 5/4/2021 12:24:49 PM EDT
[#4]
Legal mail has been used for a LONG time to hide things. Drugs, sex photos, etc. Most were faked from/to an attorney, while others have had the attorney involved.
And, to your surprise, some lawyers will allow 3 way calls to run through their office numbers in order to avoid the monitoring of the calls, since they are calls to "an attorney". And we even had a nice attorney letting her clients use her phone during jail visits. She was also nice enough to let them use her vagina when they were done with the calls. |
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Posted: 5/4/2021 12:26:05 PM EDT
[#5]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Get ready for some prison lovin, Penguin No more going to visit the boys since Covid. I was in the jail and a whole bunch of inmate came into the room behind me. it was a square that had several doors off it so I was on one side, 15 inmates were next to me and a guard was on the other side. "Hey! [my name] you mother fucker, you screwed me I'm gonna kill you!" I hear from the far side of the pack of inmates. The other 14 inmates look at me, I shrug, they look to the guy on the far side to the guy who is yelling, who I can't see through the crowd. "Hey it's Luis Criminal! I'm just fucking with you, thanks for getting me out of that parole violation man! ha haha" |
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Posted: 5/4/2021 12:26:39 PM EDT
[#6]
Only use snail mail and seal your envelopes with wax and your official Penguin seal of "Truth, Justice, and the American Way",
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Posted: 5/4/2021 12:27:01 PM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Legal mail has been used for a LONG time to hide things. Drugs, sex photos, etc. Most were faked from/to an attorney, while others have had the attorney involved. And, to your surprise, some lawyers will allow 3 way calls to run through their office numbers in order to avoid the monitoring of the calls, since they are calls to "an attorney". And we even had a nice attorney letting her clients use her phone during jail visits. She was also nice enough to let them use her vagina when they were done with the calls. I hardly ever have sex with inmates. I had a former CO arrested for writing me a bad check. He called me and asked to hire me to defend him against the bad check charge. edit I don't doubt that people try to use fake lawyer letters to mail in contraband, just the first time I've had a facility call me. |
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Posted: 5/4/2021 12:29:32 PM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I hardly ever have sex with inmates. She said she never did. If only there wasn't a camera in there that was added just for her. It was video only, as not to possibly catch any of the conversation. It was a good change to see the attorneys were having more sex with the inmates than any of the officers  |
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Posted: 5/4/2021 12:32:44 PM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted: She said she never did. If only there wasn't a camera in there that was added just for her. It was video only, as not to possibly catch any of the conversation. It was a good change to see the attorneys were having more sex with the inmates than any of the officers Oh! I haven't trotted this story out in years. I once went to a Deputy's firing hearing when I was looking into suing the county over his having sex with inmates. He came to the hearing WITH HIS MOM!  and I mean like he was a clean cut normal looking guy with a nice little old lady mom. |
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Posted: 5/4/2021 12:37:21 PM EDT
[#10]
lol which facility? i am a co and deliver correo legal most
days except for when i am out on comp.
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Posted: 5/4/2021 12:37:45 PM EDT
[#11]
I’ve tried a bunch of magistrate level cases and I’ve presented cases before the Grand Jury on several occasions. Maybe I should start visiting prisons.
.......not a lawyer. 
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Posted: 5/4/2021 12:44:05 PM EDT
[#12]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Legal mail has been used for a LONG time to hide things. Drugs, sex photos, etc. Most were faked from/to an attorney, while others have had the attorney involved. And, to your surprise, some lawyers will allow 3 way calls to run through their office numbers in order to avoid the monitoring of the calls, since they are calls to "an attorney". And we even had a nice attorney letting her clients use her phone during jail visits. She was also nice enough to let them use her vagina when they were done with the calls. Sure she wasnt a psychologist?
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Posted: 5/4/2021 12:46:20 PM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I hardly ever have sex with inmates. I had a former CO arrested for writing me a bad check. He called me and asked to hire me to defend him against the bad check charge. edit I don't doubt that people try to use fake lawyer letters to mail in contraband, just the first time I've had a facility call me. You should get your payment up front. |
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Posted: 5/4/2021 12:46:24 PM EDT
[#14]
As if real lawyers weren’t scourge enough.
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Posted: 5/4/2021 12:50:24 PM EDT
[#15]
Soon, the only way to get private communications into the prison is going to be the ole booty purse.
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Posted: 5/4/2021 12:57:27 PM EDT
[#16]
What a pain in the ass for jail staff and attorneys. When I worked the county jail all incoming mail was opened and checked for paraphernalia in front of the inmate.
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Posted: 5/4/2021 1:00:32 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I've tried a bunch of magistrate level cases and I've presented cases before the Grand Jury on several occasions. Maybe I should start visiting prisons. .......not a lawyer. |
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Posted: 5/4/2021 1:01:21 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted: lol which facility? i am a co and deliver correo legal most days except for when i am out on comp.Jamesville |
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Posted: 5/4/2021 1:02:13 PM EDT
[#19]
I worked with a woman whose "lawyer" got arrested in the middle of her divorce for being a fraud.
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Posted: 5/4/2021 1:05:51 PM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I worked with a woman whose "lawyer" got arrested in the middle of her divorce for being a fraud. A public defender in upstate NY turned out to not be an attorney. Oops
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Posted: 5/4/2021 1:11:30 PM EDT
[#21]
Synthetic Drugs are a huge issue for staff in prison.
They take cotton Paper or regular paper, Soak it in ketamine, amphetamines or other Synthetic drugs an then dry it, then print text on it so it looks all legitimate. Then the paper is divided out like graph paper into squares and sold by the inmates to one another.....two or three squares makes them absolutely loose their shit, think of like 90's PCP high videos. or the Fake Amazon Companies that look like they are donating or selling books to the institution/ a specific inmate, but actually are introducing thousands of dollars of drugs to an inmate to be re-sold... |
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Posted: 5/4/2021 1:15:01 PM EDT
[#22]
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Posted: 5/4/2021 1:15:29 PM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted: A public defender in upstate NY turned out to not be an attorney. Oops Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: I worked with a woman whose "lawyer" got arrested in the middle of her divorce for being a fraud. A public defender in upstate NY turned out to not be an attorney. Oops hell, he might have been better than the real public defenders! |
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Posted: 5/4/2021 1:16:16 PM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I hardly ever have sex with inmates. I had a former CO arrested for writing me a bad check. He called me and asked to hire me to defend him against the bad check charge. edit I don't doubt that people try to use fake lawyer letters to mail in contraband, just the first time I've had a facility call me. This is quality shitposting. |
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Posted: 5/4/2021 1:16:38 PM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted: A public defender in upstate NY turned out to not be an attorney. Oops Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: I worked with a woman whose "lawyer" got arrested in the middle of her divorce for being a fraud. A public defender in upstate NY turned out to not be an attorney. Oops Saul?
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Posted: 5/4/2021 1:17:00 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I had a former CO arrested for writing me a bad check. He called me and asked to hire me to defend him against the bad check charge. 
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Posted: 5/4/2021 1:20:23 PM EDT
[#27]
Ever wish you had gone to Truck Driving School instead?
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Posted: 5/4/2021 1:21:28 PM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: I had a former CO arrested for writing me a bad check. He called me and asked to hire me to defend him against the bad check charge. http://thenewswheel.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Jackie-Chan-WTF-Meme.png Well, he is a CO... |
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Posted: 5/4/2021 1:48:31 PM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted: That's a little weird. They used to let cops do traffic tickets and some misdemeanors here but I think that's mostly gone away. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: I've tried a bunch of magistrate level cases and I've presented cases before the Grand Jury on several occasions. Maybe I should start visiting prisons. .......not a lawyer. Yeah,supervisors still present some of ours. They don’t even have to wear bow ties to court. |
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Posted: 5/4/2021 1:55:21 PM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted: That's a little weird. They used to let cops do traffic tickets and some misdemeanors here but I think that's mostly gone away. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: I've tried a bunch of magistrate level cases and I've presented cases before the Grand Jury on several occasions. Maybe I should start visiting prisons. .......not a lawyer. I represented someone in a reckless driving ticket (misdemeanor up to 1yr jail), in Virginia that can be knocked down to improper driving (traffic ticket, max $500 fine) by agreement with prosecutor. Prosecutor wouldn't get involved, said it's up to cop. Cop says he's fine with that. So we get before judge, I tell judge the cop is OK with reducing to improper driving. Judge got angry, "that's the PROSECUTOR'S call, not the cop's!" I'm like, well, it's not my fault the prosecutor turned the case over to the cop. Judge made ME go find the prosecutor to make him step up to the bar and say he was OK with the reduction. It was bizarre. |
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Posted: 5/4/2021 2:02:03 PM EDT
[#31]
Wait....... isn’t despicable scoundrels and lawyers kinda redundant?
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Posted: 5/4/2021 2:09:14 PM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Saul? I heard he enrolled in law school, then freaked out and stopped going. He didn't tell his family. He would just leave and go to the mall and drink coffee and read books at Borders or whatever. He applied back in the cruder days of the internet when no one bothered to check to see if you are admitted. It would never work now. I heard he was pretty good in trial. |
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Posted: 5/4/2021 2:17:55 PM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I heard he enrolled in law school, then freaked out and stopped going. He didn't tell his family. He would just leave and go to the mall and drink coffee and read books at Borders or whatever. He applied back in the cruder days of the internet when no one bothered to check to see if you are admitted. It would never work now. I heard he was pretty good in trial.
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Posted: 5/4/2021 2:39:57 PM EDT
[#34]
Back years ago when i worked auto insurance claims, I got a Letter of Representation from an attorney representing one of the parties ( I forget if it was our policyholder or the claimant), but when i read the letter it was "off". It had the standard language about "we reprsent this party for the matter of the auto accident", "please do not contact our client directly outside of our cousel" etc. etc. But after that it launched into an unhinged screed of ust outrageous demands. but at the bottom in the footer it had this dudes info of his Texas Bar ID.
This letter was so strange that i refused to believe it was written by a lawyer, so I go to the Texas Bar ID lookup site, and search the guy. Turns out he's no longer licensed to practice law in the state of Texas. I went ahead and forwarded a copy of his correspondence to the Bar to let them know he was still trying to practice. Then i promptly ignored him. I dont think i ever found out what the resolution was for that one. |
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Posted: 5/4/2021 3:00:03 PM EDT
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Back years ago when i worked auto insurance claims, I got a Letter of Representation from an attorney representing one of the parties ( I forget if it was our policyholder or the claimant), but when i read the letter it was "off". It had the standard language about "we reprsent this party for the matter of the auto accident", "please do not contact our client directly outside of our cousel" etc. etc. But after that it launched into an unhinged screed of ust outrageous demands. but at the bottom in the footer it had this dudes info of his Texas Bar ID. This letter was so strange that i refused to believe it was written by a lawyer, so I go to the Texas Bar ID lookup site, and search the guy. Turns out he's no longer licensed to practice law in the state of Texas. I went ahead and forwarded a copy of his correspondence to the Bar to let them know he was still trying to practice. Then i promptly ignored him. I dont think i ever found out what the resolution was for that one. A claims adjuster told me about this notorious attorney-before my time but I heard about him. He had been an excellent personal injury attorney and, I assume got into drugs or had mental health issues. He ended up living in some motel that was basically a brothel. Adjuster gets a call and they settle a case. The lawyer says he wants the check ASAP (yeah I bet) and gives the adjuster an address. The adjuster drives over and it's a bunch of brownstones in Albany. He's driving along slowly in the rain and as he stops at the number for the building he sees the attorney is inside a phone booth to stay out of the rain. The lawyer had just been waiting in the phone booth, he didn't have an office there. They swapped releases and a discontinuance for the check and the lawyer hopped out and disappeared around the corner. |
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