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Speer Gold Dot 135 +P SB is probably the "best" round.
I carry 148 grain WCS, yeah it doesn't expand, but its low recoil, hits dead on to the sights, and is easy to shoot.
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Both of those firearms can handle +P. Fire enough to check POI and function, train with cheap ammo.
When I was purchasing ammo for my J frame, I determined the Speer Gold Dot +P short barrel load to be the best. If they make it in standard pressure, that would probably be a decent choice as well.
Otherwise, Hornady makes a Critical Defense Lite load, but penetration is lacking from what I remember. One of the wadcutter or 158gr lead hollow point loads may be the way to go if you don't want +P.
I have the Critical Defense +P, because the Gold Dots were sold out everywhere. The recoil really isn't much more than standard pressure loads. Your revolvers can handle +P.