Would You Be Accused of Witchcraft in 1692 Salem, MA? - Page 2

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Would You Be Accused of Witchcraft in 1692 Salem, MA? (Page 2 of 2)

Posted: 7/21/2008 1:32:29 PM EDT

[#1]

Page 3 is mine, finally I got one.

Quoted:
well, the conversation would start with me saying

"Listen up you primitive knuckle heads"

Close, but I believe it is

"All right you primative screw-heads, listen up! This is my BOOM-STICK it's a 12 gauge double barrel Remmington; retails for about $109.95; you can find it in the sporting goods departments. Shop Smart, shop S-Mart, now the next one of you primates even touches me and..."

Posted: 7/21/2008 1:36:51 PM EDT

[#2]

Quoted:
If I was transported back in time with my Glock still in it's holster, I'll tell the townsfolk whatever the fuck I think they need to hear.

+1 Our magic fucks people up

Posted: 7/21/2008 1:39:13 PM EDT

[#3]

I'd be grabbing all the goodies.

Posted: 7/21/2008 1:41:39 PM EDT

[#4]

I'd fit in just fine...

Posted: 7/21/2008 1:43:57 PM EDT

[#5]

I don't know. Did the 17th century townspeople consider third party logistics to be witchcraft?

Posted: 7/21/2008 1:46:44 PM EDT

[#6]

Soldiering is old work.

Satellite communications, however...

Posted: 7/21/2008 1:59:38 PM EDT

[#7]

If I didn't have my 6.8mm BoomStick I'd be so screwed...

Posted: 7/21/2008 2:09:29 PM EDT

[#8]

Quoted:

Quoted:
I doubt I'd be able to explain it in any terms. I hardly bother to do so now. It mostly makes eyes glaze over.

Good point. I have a hard enough time trying to explain what I do in modern times.

+1 and I teach SAN tech for a living.

Posted: 7/21/2008 2:11:24 PM EDT

[#9]

Chemical engineer specializing in items that had only been hinted at during their time and Roman Catholic. I'd be going for a long swim in a shallow lake.

Kharn

Posted: 7/21/2008 2:18:57 PM EDT

[#10]

Quoted:

Quoted:

Fortunately, our profession hasn't changed in 400 years.

I may be the last of the guys who can shepardize with the paper books.

"I think we learned that first semester..."

OMG there are books in the law library?

Holy shit......

Posted: 7/21/2008 2:28:57 PM EDT

[#11]

If I didn't have my AR and its "magic" then I'd be hosed...flying for a living= witch.

Posted: 7/21/2008 2:33:30 PM EDT

[#12]

Mechanical Engineer with poor vision. They won't get me for witchcraft, but I'd probably starve with no sellable skills.

Posted: 7/21/2008 9:44:45 PM EDT

[#13]

Quoted:

Quoted:

Fortunately, our profession hasn't changed in 400 years.

I may be the last of the guys who can shepardize with the paper books.

"I think we learned that first semester..."

OMG there are books in the law library?

Holy shit......

I firmly believe that in the next 5 years West is going to run out of useful things to index so it will soon turn its vast resources to making internet pr0n more searchable.

midg! /3 g**se /s dress! & au(DK!)

ETA: See we do have spells!

Posted: 7/21/2008 9:46:19 PM EDT

[#14]

I was smart enough to leave MA in 1999, I would have done the same in 1692 and avoided any further issues within that fucking state.

Posted: 7/21/2008 9:49:46 PM EDT

[#15]

Absolutely. All three of my occupations. In fact, I'd relish the opportunity, risks and all, just to see their faces as I proceed to not only explain my occupation, but explain the modern world to them.

What I'd REALLY love is to be able to go back and talk to a Greek or Roman about the modern world and see their reactions. That would be something, indeed.

Quoted:
If I didn't have my AR and its "magic" then I'd be hosed...flying for a living= witch.

You lack imagination, sir. You must not work around liberals a lot... there are always ways to make advanced concepts understandable to ignorant boneheads who can't even begin to wrap their heads around them. Well, not political ones, but other things, yes. Metaphor and parables are your friends.

Posted: 7/21/2008 10:04:03 PM EDT

[#16]

Anyone who tries to lynch me will be ventilated.

Posted: 7/22/2008 12:05:22 AM EDT

[#17]

Quoted:
Fuck em, i'd be headed to Texas

Back then, it was Mexico...

Well, *my* porfession has changed a lot... But the basics were still around back then...

The trick would be (a) figuring out the arcane weapons, (b) the language/mannerisims, and (c) remembering not to talk about anything modern...

'I'm a soldier... (mumble, mumble... who works on machines your primitive society would think are fucking magic....)'

Posted: 7/22/2008 12:30:39 AM EDT

[#18]

I don't know. Depends on how I frame the answer.

"Teacher." Yes, yes, that's great, fine, fantastic. No wizard.

"Physicist." What's that? You study nature? The natural laws? But the natural laws are in the bible. You don't study the bible. WIZARD!

Posted: 7/22/2008 12:35:59 AM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Fuck em, i'd be headed to Texas

Back then, it was Mexico...

Well, *my* porfession has changed a lot... But the basics were still around back then...

The trick would be (a) figuring out the arcane weapons, (b) the language/mannerisims, and (c) remembering not to talk about anything modern...

'I'm a soldier... (mumble, mumble... who works on machines your primitive society would think are fucking magic....)'

Strange. Considering Mexico didn't exist until 1824.

I don't think Texas even had any Spanish settlements at all until the mid 1700s.

eta: And no, for the most part, people back then didn't really believe in magic. Nor were they really primitive. They understood machines pretty well.

Posted: 7/22/2008 12:45:50 AM EDT

[#20]

I'd be fine. In fact they would probably give me the honor of starting the fire.

Posted: 7/22/2008 1:02:39 AM EDT

[#21]

Well , another practicing pagan here , so , I'd bounce out to the savages settlement and have a vision or three and you'de all wake up the next day speaking iroquois. HAHA

Posted: 7/22/2008 1:04:11 AM EDT

[#22]

Quoted:
eta: And no, for the most part, people back then didn't really believe in magic. Nor were they really primitive. They understood machines pretty well.

Yup. Hence why I'd expect I'd have a lot of fun explaining things to them, and they'd have even more fun getting a grasp of the concepts than I'd have in the explanation.

Though honestly, if we're talking REALITY here, I wouldn't say shit about anything. If I went back to a time before America, I would be so shit scared of derailing what would eventually become America that I'd probably do nothing and talk to no one.

Posted: 7/22/2008 1:38:07 AM EDT

[#23]

I'd rule that fucking town.

Posted: 7/22/2008 3:59:15 AM EDT

[#24]

^^^ god king slipshot of the province of massa took two shits....in short order mind you.

reckon the wimmenz were hot?

Posted: 7/22/2008 4:09:25 AM EDT

[#25]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Fuck em, i'd be headed to Texas

Where the Cherokee and Commanche would have scalped you and taken your family as slaves.

Texas was not even close to settled in 1692.

Nobody enslaves peekay on my watch.

Thanks, brah

Posted: 7/22/2008 11:00:47 AM EDT

[#26]

Quoted:
After I explained to them how to grow 200 bu./acre corn and 60 bu./acre wheat. They would worship me and my "witchcraft."

I'm sure this mystifying level of agricultural productivity would only be considered the work of the devil. Seriously, if your explanation included farming equipment that isn't powered by horse or ox, you might as well introduce the modern tractor as "Satan's plow." On the positive side, I think your chances would be slightly better than if you appeared in Salem town square dressed like Gene Simmons at a KISS concert.

Posted: 7/22/2008 11:02:34 AM EDT

[#27]

Quoted:

Quoted:
After I explained to them how to grow 200 bu./acre corn and 60 bu./acre wheat. They would worship me and my "witchcraft."

I'm sure this mystifying level of agricultural productivity would only be considered the work of the devil. Seriously, if your explanation included farming equipment that isn't powered by horse or ox, you might as well introduce the modern tractor as "Satan's plow." On the positive side, I think your chances would be slightly better than if you appeared in Salem town square dressed like Gene Simmons at a KISS concert.

I'd be curious if somebody could go on the offensive and portray it as a gift from God, and be convincing.

Posted: 7/22/2008 11:16:09 AM EDT

[#28]

Quoted:
reckon the wimmenz were hot?

If you like unshaven stinky women who don't brush their teeths and look 10 years older than they are..

Posted: 7/22/2008 11:22:58 AM EDT

[#29]

Quoted:

Quoted:
eta: And no, for the most part, people back then didn't really believe in magic. Nor were they really primitive. They understood machines pretty well.

Yup. Hence why I'd expect I'd have a lot of fun explaining things to them, and they'd have even more fun getting a grasp of the concepts than I'd have in the explanation.

Though honestly, if we're talking REALITY here, I wouldn't say shit about anything. If I went back to a time before America, I would be so shit scared of derailing what would eventually become America that I'd probably do nothing and talk to no one.

They might not have been stupid, but these were not rational people.

They seriously believed that God and Satan traded off speaking through several young girls, who told them to hang and burn members of the town.

And then they actually did it.

OR, that was the excuse they used to justify killing people they didn't like. Which makes them even worse.

Me? I'd burn the whole fucking town to the ground. People and all.
Fucking black mark of history, filled with psychopaths who intentionally refuse to differentiate between reality and fantasy.

Posted: 7/22/2008 11:28:15 AM EDT

[#30]

Quoted:

Quoted:
If I was transported back in time with my Glock still in it's holster, I'll tell the townsfolk whatever the fuck I think they need to hear.

Sorry Subnet, but your Glock and all your clothing disappeared during your trip back in time. You are standing naked in the town center at 11:00am on market day. What now?

Then, I'd pose for the ladies.

EDIT: After I told them a witch stole my clothes, and tried to have her way with me. "She went that away!". Once the men folk are out of sight in the woods looking for the wicked one, it's "Helooooo ladies".

would you taste of the sootikins?