What if a woman won't take your last name after marriage? - Page 2

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - What if a woman won't take your last name after marriage? (Page 2 of 4)

Posted: 3/7/2010 5:45:48 PM EDT

[#1]

dosen't matter to me

Posted: 3/7/2010 5:46:00 PM EDT

[#2]

Quoted:
I would expect at least hyphenation. I respect and support having contingency plans, but if she don't have my last name, she ain't my family.

So after your daughter gets married and takes the mans last name she is no longer in your family?

Posted: 3/7/2010 5:46:24 PM EDT

[#3]

One word, if she changes her mind later and decides to take the husbands last name, it is a PITA.....

Posted: 3/7/2010 5:46:59 PM EDT

[#4]

Quoted:
I wouldn't care too much if whomever I marry doesn't want to take my name. She can hyphenate or whatever. I'd prefer she take it.

However, my kids will take my name, and will not have any of that hyphenated bullshit.

but why would they have to even hyphenate? they just replace their middle name with their old last name. so they are still keeping it in a sense.

Posted: 3/7/2010 5:47:38 PM EDT

[#5]

Quoted:
My wife kept her last name becuase she had an established career with it. Our daughter has my last name, with her Mom's last name as a middle name. We've been married 15 years.

Same here. I was the one that actually pushed her to keep her maiden name because of her career, because she earned the right to put her name on the door, not me. She uses either my last name or her maiden name, depending on the circumstances. Since she didn't jump through the legal hoops (ssn, etc.), she uses her maiden name on official documents, etc. Other times, like for dealing with our kids schools, she uses my name, because that's what we gave the kids.

That being said, "In case it doesn't work out" is a GIANT red flag. She's hedging her bet, and the only way to win the marriage game is to go all in.

Posted: 3/7/2010 5:47:56 PM EDT

[#6]

As DK-Prof says, it's very common in academia for a woman to keep her name. None of my female colleagues changed their names after marriage; publication record is easier to follow if there's no name change. My wife and I were in our 40s when we got married, and she was well established in a business career. She didn't take my name, and I couldn't care less about it.

Posted: 3/7/2010 5:48:36 PM EDT

[#7]

Quoted:
My wife kept her last name becuase she had an established career with it. Our son has my last name, with his Mom's last name as a middle name.

Same with us. I really couldn't care less as long as I am getting the pie.

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Posted: 3/7/2010 5:55:40 PM EDT

[#8]

Quoted:

I couldn't care less. My wife has a professional career, and her publications are in her maiden name,

100% agree with this.

If the womans name is recognizable and her career/income are dependent on it, then by all means she should keep it.

Sounds terrible, but when I see a hyphenated last name my first thought is "Bitch"...

Posted: 3/7/2010 6:09:31 PM EDT

[#9]

What if she wants you to change your last name to hers?

Posted: 3/7/2010 6:11:00 PM EDT

[#10]

the sanctity of marriage is not a pick and choose list

are your friends ok with gays and lesbians marrying?

Posted: 3/7/2010 6:13:35 PM EDT

[#11]

Quoted:
I couldn't care less. My wife has a professional career, and her publications are in her maiden name, and since we don't have kids, it really doesn't matter one bit.

If we had kids, she'd either change it to mine, or we'd just give the kids my last name - but right now it makes no difference at all.

This is the only valid "excuse" IMHO for a woman not changing her maiden name to her husbands. My wife and I have two close friends who kept their last name after marriage, both own their own busniess's and both of those busniess's are named after using their last name, payroll, busniess name, etc.. are all in their maiden name, so they kept it. In both cases it was agreed prior to marriage that they would keep their last name, but any kids would be in the family (i.e. fathers) name.

Posted: 3/7/2010 6:14:19 PM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:
What if she wants you to change your last name to hers?

That's crazy talk!

Posted: 3/7/2010 6:15:19 PM EDT

[#13]

Sometimes keeping public records in total chaos is a good thing.

Posted: 3/7/2010 6:15:59 PM EDT

[#14]

Buy a new woman.

Posted: 3/7/2010 6:17:52 PM EDT

[#15]

Won't take my name? Won't ever hear me take a vow.

Marriage is a full committment, taking half-measures "in case it doesn't work out" says you are not really committed to making it work out.

Posted: 3/7/2010 6:19:12 PM EDT

[#16]

Quoted:
dosen't matter to me

Same for me, My wife never took my last name.
I didn't mind, why would I, I love her the same, the marriage is the same, I could care what she does or doesn't call herself.

[Btw, hate hypenation, kids due to have my lastname]

Posted: 3/7/2010 6:22:38 PM EDT

[#17]

For me, no hyphenated and no First Name - Old Last Name - My last Name, either.

My first wife dropped her last name and added mine and my fiance is planning on doing the same thing (first wife died).

Posted: 3/7/2010 6:24:58 PM EDT

[#18]

Quoted:

My wife kept her last name becuase she had an established career with it. Our daughter has my last name, with her Mom's last name as a middle name. We've been married 15 years.

The one exception I could accept.

If it were me, I'd still legally change my name and use the maiden name if it were possible, i.e. if I didn't have to use my legal name for the career.

Posted: 3/7/2010 6:25:58 PM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:

That would strike me as an indicator for potential problems down the line.

This. I could understand a hyphenation, but completely refusing to take it? Kinda made me get the

face when I read the thread title.

ETA - I noticed some people in here mentioned women keeping their ex's last name after a divorce. My mom did it for two reasons: me having the same last name (I kind of persuaded her on that note, told her I'd rather her have the same last name if she didn't mind), and because she's been a teacher here for 20+ years. All of her students know her by my dad's last name, not her maiden name.

Posted: 3/7/2010 6:33:50 PM EDT

[#20]

Quoted:
I couldn't care less. My wife has a professional career, and her publications are in her maiden name, and since we don't have kids, it really doesn't matter one bit.

If we had kids, she'd either change it to mine, or we'd just give the kids my last name - but right now it makes no difference at all.

Really.

Save the drama for something more worth while.

And, MYOB.

Posted: 3/7/2010 6:37:09 PM EDT

[#21]

As I said in the baby names thread earlier today, a few cultures name and use names a lot differently than we do.

You get one name, then your fathers name, then your grandfathers name. so my name would be "Me Dad Grandpa". The woman would be "Her HerDad HerGrandpa".

They do not change their names when they marry, as you will never be their father. The children are named "Kid Dad Grandpa"
As for a liberal moonbat refusal? Wash the bitch in clorox, shave her hairy ass, make her make you a sandwich then call her Mrs. X.

Posted: 3/7/2010 6:37:09 PM EDT

[#22]

no take name, no game. On to less manly woman

Posted: 3/7/2010 6:37:35 PM EDT

[#23]

The ones that I know that do that are generally professional's (doctors, dentists, lawyers) so they would have to rename their practice or go thru the hassle of getting all their certs/diploma's reissued in the new name.

Posted: 3/7/2010 6:38:50 PM EDT

[#24]

Im not a big fan of marriage but that would be a deal breaker for me.

Posted: 3/7/2010 6:39:21 PM EDT

[#25]

We had this discussion. My wife asked what I thought about her keeping her maiden name. I said I was completely ok with it, we didn't need to get married.

ETA- no fucking hyphens either. I think the hyphens are even worse, and when Little Mizz Thang wants the kids to run the hyphen too??? Well maybe there's someone on here with that kind of arrangement so I'll hold my opinion for once, but we aint playin that game at Chateau Smith.

Posted: 3/7/2010 6:40:34 PM EDT

[#26]

Quoted:

... in case it didn't work out...

This is the problem with marriage today. People go into it prepared to bail.

Posted: 3/7/2010 6:44:31 PM EDT

[#27]

My wife and I fall under a scenario that I haven't seen mentioned yet. She's from a culture (Indonesia) where the woman keeps her family name, even after she marries, and the children all take their father's last name. Her parents, who are 65, have been together since they were sixteen and her mother still goes by her maiden name. When we married she said she was willing to change her last name if I really wanted her to (I knew she preferred to keep her own) and I decided that her pride in her culture and name far out-weighed my desire for her to change her name. To be honest, I really couldn't care less. It doesn't impact our dedication to one another.

Posted: 3/7/2010 6:47:27 PM EDT

[#28]

Quoted:
I'm sure there are things in the world that I would care less about but I can't think of any off hand.

This.

Posted: 3/7/2010 6:56:14 PM EDT

[#29]

To me it is a choice that each couple has to make.

I am a very traditional conservative, and I made damn sure that I brought it up before we got married. If some woman had told me she would not take my last name, I would have been out of there, but again I am traditional that way.

If a woman does not want to, and the man does not have a strong opinion, then I am prepared not to care what others do.

That being said, it has been my personal experience that women (other than those who do it for professional reasons) with hyphenated last names, or those who did not take their husband's last name are crazy feminazi bitches who should be avoided at all costs.

Posted: 3/7/2010 6:58:28 PM EDT

[#30]

My wife kept her name and kids get my last name.No big deal,why would you force your last name on someone,it seems silly.

Posted: 3/7/2010 6:59:35 PM EDT

[#31]

Anything but hyphenation.

Posted: 3/7/2010 7:00:27 PM EDT

[#32]

There seems to be a certain "type" of woman who does that. That type is not my type. YMMV

Posted: 3/7/2010 7:03:27 PM EDT

[#33]

Quoted:
Anything but hyphenation.

+1

Posted: 3/7/2010 7:04:06 PM EDT

[#34]

Quoted:
There seems to be a certain "type" of woman who does that. That type is not my type. YMMV

Not mine either.

Posted: 3/7/2010 7:06:35 PM EDT

[#35]

eject. your OP gives reasons why. woman is expecting failure. i was going to say chick is probably some secret/not-so-secret feminazi.

Posted: 3/7/2010 7:09:28 PM EDT

[#36]

I got married in October. I told my wife that she had to take my last name or I wouldn't get married. It's how it's been forever. They should just change their last name and get over it.

Posted: 3/7/2010 7:11:09 PM EDT

[#37]

I want to change my last name. I want one of those awesome last names where you take a bunch of consonants from the alphabet and dump them out onto the table in a big jumble and wham there's the name.

Posted: 3/7/2010 7:11:46 PM EDT

[#38]

Eject! She's only there until someone better comes along.

Posted: 3/7/2010 7:12:03 PM EDT

[#39]

My wife wanted a hyphen.

Now she admitted to me that she regrets doing it because it's a pain in the ass when she has to tell people her name and make sure they put the hyphen in.

Posted: 3/7/2010 7:14:12 PM EDT

[#40]

Use my name or her name... I don't care. Just no hyphen. I hate that.

Posted: 3/7/2010 7:14:22 PM EDT

[#41]

My girlfriend's sister refused to take her husbands last name. I think it has more to do with spiting her mother who insists that she should.

Posted: 3/7/2010 7:17:52 PM EDT

[#42]

My wife has an established career and has been published a number of times. Of course, I married her when she was 20, so my name is all over it.

Keeping her last name because it may not work out is a bad sign.

Posted: 3/7/2010 7:23:30 PM EDT

[#43]

crazy.....some angry broads start this crap in the 70's.. and here we are talking about it on a 2nd amendment forum.

the worlds upside down

Posted: 3/7/2010 7:25:30 PM EDT

[#44]

If she won't take myname then we are not getting married.

My ex still has my name

Posted: 3/7/2010 7:35:44 PM EDT

[#45]

Dump the bitch
Then she can keep her last name all she wants.

Posted: 3/7/2010 7:38:54 PM EDT

[#46]

My feeling has always been that if you get married you become a family...WE'RE the Martin family, not just me. What another couple decides to do though, is their business. My wife was happy to take my name (at least she didn't complain when I drove her to the DMV the day we came back from our honeymoon).

The fact that in our culture the woman typically takes the man's name.....well, that works out for me, the names "Sean" and "Sanchez" just don't go well together.

Posted: 3/7/2010 7:42:57 PM EDT

[#47]

Quoted:
My wife kept her name and kids get my last name.No big deal,why would you force your last name on someone,it seems silly.

Well it's traditional just like marriage. Why do one tradition and not the other. Personally I think marriage is silly but that's just my opinion.

Posted: 3/7/2010 7:43:50 PM EDT

[#48]

I wouldnt marry her.

Posted: 3/7/2010 7:45:24 PM EDT

[#49]

Then no deal. Move on woman.

ETA: I'd take it as an insult of huge proportions and a definite sign of a lack of true love.

Posted: 3/7/2010 7:50:13 PM EDT

[#50]

Useless fact for the day:

I was stationed in Arkansas when Slick Willie was governor. I read an article in the local paper about why Clinton wasn't reelected when he ran for his second term as governor in 1981. They polled local Arkansans and the top 3 reasons were:
1) He wore expensive suits. If you've ever been to Arkansas and seen the poverty you'd understand why.
2) They didn't like the way he talked. He'd lost his southern accent.
3) HIS WIFE DIDN'T TAKE HIS LAST NAME.

So.......he started wearing cheap suits, he started talking with an accent, and Hillary Rodham changed her name to Hillary Rodham-Clinton.
He won the next election for governor in 1983 and stayed there till 1992.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - What if a woman won't take your last name after marriage? (Page 2 of 4)

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